• H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

October Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v Cool Nights and Falling Leaves

reached 100 days since last hit of crack earlier this week.

Fuck yeah hydro! Cocaine has such an incredibly strong pull for those of us who “like” it. It’s kinda weird. But cocaine-nicotine was always the comparison that came to mind. Super habit forming.

Glad to hear you are doing well hydro. Thank you for checking in!
 
Sorry, have not been posting much in here. Work has been keeping me busy. New building is going up next month getting ready for the change.
I accepted a job working in detox full time starting next month which I am really excited about!
 
Sorry, have not been posting much in here. Work has been keeping me busy. New building is going up next month getting ready for the change.
I accepted a job working in detox full time starting next month which I am really excited about!

Yay! Now you get to clean people up after their shit themselves ;) j/k.... kinda 8)

I imagine you’ll be getting a pay raise? Regardless, sounds exciting.
 
I got an offer from a work acquaintance yesterday...she asked if I'd like to join up as a volunteer doing harm reduction stuff in the next county over from ours (it's an extremely poor place with among the highest overdose death rates in the country). The vols go out and about with folks from public health, helping to hand out needles and narcan, and answering questions for people about treatment options and other harm reduction stuff.

This is definitely something I'd like to do. But with my own recovery feeling iffy these days I can't decided if it would help or hurt.

On the one hand, I'd be handling armfuls of needles etc and meeting heroin addicts, which could very well be triggering for me. On the other hand, I find that if I'm involved in activities I care about, my own interest in heroin tends to go down.

Any thoughts?
 
Honestly I’d stay away until you feel more confident. At the very least always work with at least one other person and stick with them at all time. But I’d say trust you gut. I finally realized there are simply certain places I’m better off not dealing with until I’m more stabilized. It is frustrating, but I have too much to lose putting myself in uncertain and potentially activating situations like that.

Sounds like an amazing opportunity though. If you can take a rain check that might be best, but being involved with something like this once you’re feeling more grounded could also be an amazing opportunity for your recovery as well. Being of service is so therapeutic, especially when it’s connected to stuff you love (like harm reduction :)).

I finished my awesome Way of Council training today. Part 1 at least. It’s funny, I can always tell when people are from Ojai ;) I swear too, I know the people who led the workshops, but I just can’t for the life of me place them. It’s driving me nuts.
 
I got an offer from a work acquaintance yesterday...she asked if I'd like to join up as a volunteer doing harm reduction stuff in the next county over from ours (it's an extremely poor place with among the highest overdose death rates in the country). The vols go out and about with folks from public health, helping to hand out needles and narcan, and answering questions for people about treatment options and other harm reduction stuff.

This is definitely something I'd like to do. But with my own recovery feeling iffy these days I can't decided if it would help or hurt.

On the one hand, I'd be handling armfuls of needles etc and meeting heroin addicts, which could very well be triggering for me. On the other hand, I find that if I'm involved in activities I care about, my own interest in heroin tends to go down.

Any thoughts?

I think you should go for it, if you want to. I personally wouldn't, because I'm more interested in helping myself versus others. That probably sounds insidiously self-centered, which it is.

It's up to the local governments to realize that needle exchanges are required more uniformly throughout problem areas.
 
Sim, I agree with the Captain and Toothpastedog. Given your unstable footing, who knows that you might make that split second decision to cop. I think these programs are wonderful, but it takes a person very confident in their clean time before you stare down your nemesis.
 
I was thinking more about this. It might be a really good opportunity. I’ll talk to you about it today simco.
 
Thanks for the feedback. I guess an important consideration is that there's no hurry in making my decision about volunteering. Heroin isn't going anywhere in these parts, so the need will be there. I'm sure I can take a rain check.

I do feel like volunteering for the county harm reduction programs would be good for my recovery (and for me more generally). It would definitely give me a sense that I'm doing something important and helpful for people who don't get a lot of breaks, and feelings like this, of being invested in something bigger than me definitely does make me feel stronger in my recovery.

But, folks' points about the risks I'd face are also very serious and very accurate. I'm thinking it may be smartest to wait a while, until this current round of shakiness goes away. I'll keep thinking about it for a little while.
 
Perhaps theres a position that isnt so front line/potentially triggering for your cravings? That way you could still volunteer.
 
Went to my first AA meeting last night. It was very uncomfortable at first, but in the end I met some really nice people. I reached a breaking point and decided it's time to get sober.
 
Went to my first AA meeting last night. It was very uncomfortable at first, but in the end I met some really nice people. I reached a breaking point and decided it's time to get sober.

Congrats on the decision, and I wish you the best of luck.
 
I took my last benzo about 2 nights ago-a 5mg Valium. I've been coasting on detox meds since, gabapentin and clonidine mainly, also have hydroxyzine and zofran. I actually feel good but I'm worried that wd might kick in hard once the Valium wears off completely. Should I get more diclazepam so I can taper slowly (I'm prone to seizures) or should I just stick with the detox meds? I was on 3mg clonazolam and 3mg diclazepam a day when I started, then I ran out so I took about 1-2mg klonopin and 1-2mg Xanax a day for a few days, then 5mg Valium a day for about 3 days. I had no issues at all with this taper so far so am I good with what I have?
 
What’s up CH? I’m feeling weird today myself :\

I took my last benzo about 2 nights ago-a 5mg Valium. I've been coasting on detox meds since, gabapentin and clonidine mainly, also have hydroxyzine and zofran. I actually feel good but I'm worried that wd might kick in hard once the Valium wears off completely. Should I get more diclazepam so I can taper slowly (I'm prone to seizures) or should I just stick with the detox meds? I was on 3mg clonazolam and 3mg diclazepam a day when I started, then I ran out so I took about 1-2mg klonopin and 1-2mg Xanax a day for a few days, then 5mg Valium a day for about 3 days. I had no issues at all with this taper so far so am I good with what I have?

It is really hard to tell. Can you find a doctor to help you work o this? That is a hell of a lot less problematic than just continuing to go it alone, although finding a good doctor who is willing to work with you can be difficult too.
 
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