• 🇬🇧󠁿 🇸🇪 🇿🇦 🇮🇪 🇬🇭 🇩🇪 🇪🇺
    European & African
    Drug Discussion

    Welcome Guest!
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

Tell A Shit Joke: Number 2

Following Theresa May's recent disastrous performance at Prime Minister's Question Time where she once again was losing her voice, I went up to her and gave her a bottle of Benelyn.

"Is this for my sore throat?" She said.

"No, just for cough"...
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Following Theresa May's recent disastrous performance at Prime Minister's Question Time where she once again was losing her voice, I went up to her and gave her a bottle of Benelyn.

"Is this for my sore throat?" She said.

"No, just for cough"...
Click to expand...

Very good, but when you make up jokes so clever it takes sleepy eyed twats like me over a minute to make sense of the word play the laughter potential kind of subsides into an 'ahh, very clever' sort of vibe :geek:
 
steewith2ees said:
Very good, but when you make up jokes so clever it takes sleepy eyed twats like me over a minute to make sense of the word play the laughter potential kind of subsides into an 'ahh, very clever' sort of vibe :geek:
Click to expand...

I wish I could take credit for that Stee, but it was an act of sheer plagiarism... :D
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Following Theresa May's recent disastrous performance at Prime Minister's Question Time where she once again was losing her voice, I went up to her and gave her a bottle of Benelyn.

"Is this for my sore throat?" She said.

"No, just for cough"...
Click to expand...
maybe she has what clinton had ive never heard may lose her voice and I watch commons all the time when did she lose her voice was it actually effecting her speeching abilities? Cant have some ill bitch running the country bring back Nigel!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I know the thread title is tell a shit joke but...

I really like Frankie Boyle's sense of humor:

“Three Million for the funeral of Margaret Thatcher? For 3 Million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in person.”

“It’s good they’re holding the Olympics in the East End of London. Means the athletes will have to use extra skill to work out which gunshot is the starting pistol.”

[On the most Scottish thing he has ever seen] “I was going through a town called Bathgate at around 11 o’clock at night. And there was a guy leaning and p*ssing against a front door. He then took out his keys and went inside.”

“Scientists have just built the world’s biggest supercollider, and they’re doing experiments to see what makes up protons. I hope that if the experiment’s successful, the whole of our reality will dissolve, and a big sign will up come that says: Level Two.”

“I think the anti-speeding advert should be footage of Richard Hammond trying to remember his own wedding day.”

“People who think there’s no good way to die have obviously never heard the phrase ‘Drug-fuelled-sex-heart-attack’.”

“When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor.”

“People say that Steve Jobs died to soon. But I think it was a fitting metaphor for his company’s attitude to battery life.”

“The thing I don’t get about paedophilia… Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?”

“Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called Countdown?”

“I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on the train or bus and think, ‘I’m havin that!'”
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top