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September Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v It's Fall Again / The Sky is Falling

I will be travling back to bama sometime this year, not 100% sure when though.

Its hard to believe its the start of another week, and it is getting close to Halloween. Wow, oh how time flies.
Glad to be sober today!!,and everyone have a goodnight.
:)
Sleepy timezZZ
 
Into my 4th month of sobriety. 5 months ago I had no faith in my ability to quit using and assumed I would die an addict.

Thinking about going to visit my friend in Seattle soon but I have a few things to consider still. Would be nice to see him though, one of my few friends that I have kept over the last 10 years.
 
Mafioso said:
Into my 4th month of sobriety. 5 months ago I had no faith in my ability to quit using and assumed I would die an addict.

Thinking about going to visit my friend in Seattle soon but I have a few things to consider still. Would be nice to see him though, one of my few friends that I have kept over the last 10 years.
Click to expand...

Grats Mafioso. 4 months is huge. And I think it's great that you're considering travel. Getting away from home base can really enhance recovery I think.
 
Mafioso said:
5 months ago I had no faith in my ability to quit using and assumed I would die an addict.
Click to expand...

That's how I feel about my cannabis/shatter use. I'm alright with that though, as I've let go of heroin, bupe, meth, etc. all the 'problem drugs' for me. :|
 
One of my good friends relapsed today, er well word is that he relapsed several weeks ago on Kratom, and today the truth came out.
For someone that was supposed to be celebrating his 2yr sober tonight,it really hit me. I should have pulled up on him awhile back and tell him that maybe it isn't a good idea to move some chick in with you that recently left a womans rehab on bad terms. I really hope that he doesn't go out and do anything harsh because he was an actual employee of the rehab I work at, so if any of you know, there are some people that will give him shit about it.

I know today that I am clean and sober, i dunno about tomorrow because thats down the road. Just For Today.
I will reach out and help others.
 
Ugh treatment/recovery relationships are so problematic. Don't get me wrong, I've made that mistake more than once myself, but when you see it unfolding in front of ones own eyes, it is just kinda sad.

Anyways, how have you been doing D's? Has any of the nasty weather gotten up into your neck of the woods?
 
6 months clean :)
dealing with cravings a lot, because I understand more and more why I used drugs and I have a lot of memories of using in fall.
last year this time I didn't know I had a problem, didn't care for anything but drugs and had completely lost my spirit, creativity and passions. I remember sitting restless and sad in front of my piano inable to play because of my drug use. good reminders against cravings, but sadly there is no magic potion against them :D
 
You'll get it back Lamurion! Before getting sober for this last time. I couldn't believe that would work anymore, people close to me lost their hope that I could succeed just once more. And I was disappointed with myself thinking that I wasn't going to get my life back.

But we do, and we managed to become even better! This time looks different and that was the one I had no expectations at all. Maybe that was what made it so special and enduring. Believe in yourself!

Take care!
Erik

<3
 
Wanted to reply to ya tpd, the weather was crappy this morning, and i have a pretty sweet rain coat and only get to wear it when its raining out,so made a little bit of something negative into something positive.:)
They did have the tornado sirens going off about 20mins ago, and not sure if that was a test, or because of the rain we are about to be getting.
Congrats on your 1week hydro! We all have something in common and thats the just for today piece. What's your next plan? Are you going to try and do something diffrent?
I really like hearing that people are making it back.

Lets see, had a staff meeting this morning, was told that because i work at a rehab that me and everyone else i work with cannot be in any relationship with any client,no matter how long they have been in or out of the program,because we are still considered counselors. It doesnt bother me much, the thing that sucks is half of the population where i live is an alcoholic and a majority of those people are alumni, or have been in the treatment center that i work at, and since I work an honest program today I am not going to set myself up for failure by trying to get with women that are in the rooms.
I guess it does bum me out a little bit because there are some of the women whom ive grown close with, and since this new rule applies then my female friends are just going have to keep it professional.
Like tpd said, let those babies heal, i know that my higher power has a plan for me,and i am with my hp 100%.

Just for today I am going to get out of my comfort zone,and reach back to someone new in the program and talk with them on my experience.

8/22/2016
 
Yeah, you'll save yourself a world of hurt (emotional, professional, developmental and LEGAL) by avoiding relationships within your immediate recovery community. It does kinda suck, but especially when working in the field, this ethical business is so important.

Glad to hear you were able exercise a little equanimity :)

I just realized I am in class basically straight from 8am to 10pm today. Definitely organizing my next Tuesday differently...
 
Hell yean RDP89! Thats whats up !

I was asked to join a group called "The Angel Program" here in town, which means i will go and get a 'Peer Support Specialist' certificate, and one day a week for 8hrs I will go to the local hospitals and share some of my own experience,strength and hope with both men and women that were admitted into the hospital from overdoses, and other drug and alcohol related issues. I am really excited about doing this! I have always wanted to help others, and this is an excellent opportunity to help young/old men and women,who might not have anyone to talk with about their problems.
I am grateful that I was offered this job because once upon ago,when I was hospitalised for a drug overdose, I had no one to talk to about why I do what i do, and had no clue that i suffered from a disease.
This will all start taking place in October. :)
1 day at a time, sometimes 5 minutes at a time.
 
Thanks guys!
D's , that is really cool that you're doing that.
 
Well I wish I could say my September has been off to a good start. It has not. It started with an interaction with the police that I would describe as seriously biased (that's all I'm going to say because it is still raw - I did not get arrested though and that is a good thing). It did make me angry enough to drink. And to drink and drink and drink. And now I'm asking questions like "why do I only have 7 Ativans left" and "whoa I took all that Flexeril, shit never did anything away..."

The last night of use, the one of the hurricane, which by the way was a doozy - I'm listening to what sounds like the London Blitz just outside and unable to understand why my own personal attempt at using John Bonham's sleepytime cocktails wasn't doing shit. Time to stop. Again. Wds haven't been terrible as long as I have the Ativan at hand. I felt strong enough today to help my ex wife work on her yard which was a real mess (she didn't want to use the chainsaw herself) and we mostly have it done.

Oh and in my inebriated state I came home to find my flat had been burgled (sounds so much sophisticated than "condo"). They got very little of value. I'm not a dude that values jewelry and my guns are not located in my home for that reason (guns are the no 1 thing crims look for) and anything else they got was a $200TV, a $300TV, an Acer laptop that was such a piece of shit I would have gladly given it to them, a four year old MacBook Pro that is critical for work - I have to buy another one tomorrow OUCH, my ex is loaning her MacBook Air since I helped her today, an old MacBook Air that barely worked anymore, and an iPhone 5s that was on its way out. The only things I am really bummed about is my robotic vacuum Roomba, a brand new Scuba camera I hadn't even opened the box for and my Cressi Leonardo dive computer. I will be filing for insurance for those things.

Shit to take away from all this. I was pissed when I started my binge. I was in a rage. I let the rage win over something more rational. "Dr. David Banner will have to have the world believe that he is dead until he can learn to control the raging beast within him." That right now the 64K question. What is NOT in dispute is when I abuse drugs, bad shit happens. And a shit ton more worse things COULD have happen. I can see the universe, God, whatever you choose to call it, is getting sick of getting me out of DUIs. I am undoubtedly the luckiest alcoholic I know. Not a single DUI. Zero, zip, nada. But I have this creeping sense that the universe is losing patience with me and I feel that much worse things than I have known are now just around the corner.

EDIT: Oh and to add insult to injury, when I went to get an Ativan refill, Florida Blue Cross has AGAIN fucked up my billing and my policy is "currently terminated." I spoke to a really nice woman who was very patient and said the magic words, "this was our mistake." Only problem...zero insurance until next week. I'm thinking to just pay the cash price for the Ativan (not very much) but maybe it's good to be one and done with that too.
 
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