• TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Mental Health Mirtazapine + gabapentin and no more clonazepam

^yes lithium can be hard on the kidneys. But that isn't the case in all those to whom it is prescribed. Not the majority..
 
I went through a bunch of different anti depressants. Wellbutrin is the only common one I find worth a shit. It really helps my anxiety. I just recently got on lithium. It's pretty much a drug of last resort because it fucks your kidneys over time but so far it's working well for multiple depression. It also stabilized my mood. But that's a double edged sword because I feel extremely flat now

I've heard some good things about Wellbutrin, so I may consider it. Don't know much about Lithium. This looking for drugs is exhausting, I need to learn to just be, much, much easier said than done, but am happy to report that tonight marks 10 days sober from alcohol :) And I've been feeling pretty good, proud even, alcohol was giving me so much shame and not just from the drinking, but from the after effects of it, i.e., no motivation to accomplish my dreams or much of anything else, low self esteem, at times, depression, loss of hope, etc, etc, etc.
 
It sounds like you are making progress

I believe I am. To be honest, I did get some beer last night, as I knew I would, shortly after my post, but I sipped it in some disgust and never finished it. I didn't feel like getting drunk either. I didn't plan to start getting sober from alcohol, circumstances led me there and somewhat subconsciously I decided I didn't want to drink. My weekends were becoming a blur and sleeping fest, and I was tired of that. Next, I need to figure out how to handle my benzo use. Imaging life without them seems almost impossible, sadly.
 
This will be short since the last time I posted on my phone, it disappeared. I was sober from alcohol, except for two small slip ups of about a beer each, for 15 days. It's still not through my thick skull that I shouldn't drink at all, but hey, reduction is also a good thing. I find it hard to socialize without 'something,' so I drank over the weekend and I drank after an accomplishment to celebrate--funny how I didn't feel as happy about the accomplishment after drinking, I just felt subdued and numb. Working on finding ways to reduce my anxiety, but I feel it's so ingrained that it will always be there, not necessarily true, but probably, so coping strategies are a must, besides drugs because I can't depend on them and don't find it healthy to do so.
 
Hi Osmium, I would love another update, as I can relate to your situation: I have also been on benzo's long term, well 6 years, and am anxious about getting off of them. I no longer have a Pdoc, and am looking for a new one, so I am anxious about finding a doc that will work with me. I'm on a pretty low dose (40 0.5 pills/every 30 days PRN), but recent changes in my life make me feel like I'll need more than that :/. I've tried different anti-depressants, including Mirtazapine, and have had no success with any. I am currently on gabapentin as well, and I think it helps
a tiny bit, very tiny bit with anxiety. I've also abused alcohol over the years due to anxiety (social and general), benzo use seems to have eliminated panic attacks, but with the cost of psychological and likely physical addiction. Had I never been prescribed benzo's, I likely would have developed more healthy ways of dealing with this, albeit, even if I suffered from panic attacks. But I can't really see a situation where I wouldn't have been prescribed them. Would love to hear how you're coping.
Sorry. I am just getting round to some stuff. I was out of country for quite some time.

In any event, I am done with my taper. The last bit was pretty easy once I found myself with next to no Clonazepam - I was stretching 30 days supply to 60+ to cross the finish line.

The weirdest things for me which still go on are RLS and that damned tinnitus. Both conditions wax and wane making it rather maddening.

I am not yet on PC, so reading long threads sucks.

I too was an alcohol abuser..a raging one. The only way I was prescribed clonazepam was due to its relatively low toxicity compared to ethanol. Remember, this was in the 1990s, and much of the less desriable aspects of benzo therapy were only hazy outlines that would take years to fully understand - such as we do.

Because a certain type of person of person gets prescribed benzos for anxiety/panic "we" tend toward seeing the worst in the best if situations; and we are certain that our withdrawal syndromes will be the worst.

I don't know how my attempts at a just-the-facts clinical retelling of my WD experience reads to another person. I went through a real rollercoaster of emotions and somatic disturbances. I read way too much and didn't simply let stuff play out. My withdrawal, which is ongoing, but no longer acute, seems in hindsight to have been of the milder variety.

Oh, it still sucked, but compared to many I have read about, mine was pretty tame. The length of my taper(v-e-r-y slow) and my Doc's trusting me to "cut when I can, ease off when I need to" likely helped.

If you're on 40 0.5mg PRN, you're where it took me a couple of years to get to. Good for you.

As I noted somewhere along in this thread, I could definitely tell when I hadn't taken my adjunctive meds. Not taking either one had obvious impact. If I hadn't taken gabapentin, I would be a real bastard to contend with and have RLS almost to my chest. Yikes!

If I had passed on the mirtazapine, I would be an anxious mess that may or may not have been solely due to sleep deprivation.

Once I restored the meds, I'd be back to "normal." Don't overlook exercise and diet. In particular, exercise really took the edge off. I would go hours without thinking about my WD if I was exhausted due to working out. I just kept ramping it up when I least wanted to.. it greatly helped me.

My P-Doc has allowed me up to 0.5 mg/day clonaepam for the for foreseeable future. The last two scripts sit here unopened.

Oh, I have had urges to take just a wee bit to cut the edge, but those passed. No one is more surprised by my seeming lack of self-control than I. I say seeming, because while things are good currently, the odd ebb and flow of this post-acute withdrawal is odd.

I certainly don't have full PAWS, but stuff lingers. During my alky phase I had much more post-acute WD with an internal agitation that was alarming.

All of the above is meant to tell you that benzo WD need not be the horror show that people make it out to be.
For me, things started really moving forward once I stopped fretting about what was withdrawal, and what was natural. It's likely that no one will ever be able to differentiate between the two.

Hang in there. It isn't fun, but it's worth your time and devotion to cross the finish line.

I'm going to come back and re-read this mess(make it clearer, put some punctuation back.. the usual stuff) so I will see if you've responded.

If this makes zero sense, it's because I'm a git. This phone has a screen that is far too small. As stated, will clean up once at more suitable device.
 
I can see how that long ramble would not be very helpful.
Shorter: I am doing rather well. As noted above, I still have a few nagging issues that seem to have a strange pattern of better/not better, but, it has all been worth it.

If you still have specific questions, I am happy to answer - if I am able.
 
Top