Hi Osmium, I would love another update, as I can relate to your situation: I have also been on benzo's long term, well 6 years, and am anxious about getting off of them. I no longer have a Pdoc, and am looking for a new one, so I am anxious about finding a doc that will work with me. I'm on a pretty low dose (40 0.5 pills/every 30 days PRN), but recent changes in my life make me feel like I'll need more than that :/. I've tried different anti-depressants, including Mirtazapine, and have had no success with any. I am currently on gabapentin as well, and I think it helps
a tiny bit, very tiny bit with anxiety. I've also abused alcohol over the years due to anxiety (social and general), benzo use seems to have eliminated panic attacks, but with the cost of psychological and likely physical addiction. Had I never been prescribed benzo's, I likely would have developed more healthy ways of dealing with this, albeit, even if I suffered from panic attacks. But I can't really see a situation where I wouldn't have been prescribed them. Would love to hear how you're coping.
Sorry. I am just getting round to some stuff. I was out of country for quite some time.
In any event, I am done with my taper. The last bit was pretty easy once I found myself with next to no Clonazepam - I was stretching 30 days supply to 60+ to cross the finish line.
The weirdest things for me which still go on are RLS and that damned tinnitus. Both conditions wax and wane making it rather maddening.
I am not yet on PC, so reading long threads sucks.
I too was an alcohol abuser..a raging one. The only way I was prescribed clonazepam was due to its relatively low toxicity compared to ethanol. Remember, this was in the 1990s, and much of the less desriable aspects of benzo therapy were only hazy outlines that would take years to fully understand - such as we do.
Because a certain type of person of person gets prescribed benzos for anxiety/panic "we" tend toward seeing the worst in the best if situations; and we are certain that our withdrawal syndromes will be the worst.
I don't know how my attempts at a just-the-facts clinical retelling of my WD experience reads to another person. I went through a real rollercoaster of emotions and somatic disturbances. I read way too much and didn't simply let stuff play out. My withdrawal, which is ongoing, but no longer acute, seems in hindsight to have been of the milder variety.
Oh, it still sucked, but compared to many I have read about, mine was pretty tame. The length of my taper(v-e-r-y slow) and my Doc's trusting me to "cut when I can, ease off when I need to" likely helped.
If you're on 40 0.5mg PRN, you're where it took me a couple of years to get to. Good for you.
As I noted somewhere along in this thread, I could definitely tell when I hadn't taken my adjunctive meds. Not taking either one had obvious impact. If I hadn't taken gabapentin, I would be a real bastard to contend with and have RLS almost to my chest. Yikes!
If I had passed on the mirtazapine, I would be an anxious mess that may or may not have been solely due to sleep deprivation.
Once I restored the meds, I'd be back to "normal." Don't overlook exercise and diet. In particular, exercise really took the edge off. I would go hours without thinking about my WD if I was exhausted due to working out. I just kept ramping it up when I least wanted to.. it greatly helped me.
My P-Doc has allowed me up to 0.5 mg/day clonaepam for the for foreseeable future. The last two scripts sit here unopened.
Oh, I have had urges to take just a wee bit to cut the edge, but those passed. No one is more surprised by my seeming lack of self-control than I. I say seeming, because while things are good currently, the odd ebb and flow of this post-acute withdrawal is odd.
I certainly don't have full PAWS, but stuff lingers. During my alky phase I had much more post-acute WD with an internal agitation that was alarming.
All of the above is meant to tell you that benzo WD need not be the horror show that people make it out to be.
For me, things started really moving forward once I stopped fretting about what was withdrawal, and what was natural. It's likely that no one will ever be able to differentiate between the two.
Hang in there. It isn't fun, but it's worth your time and devotion to cross the finish line.
I'm going to come back and re-read this mess(make it clearer, put some punctuation back.. the usual stuff) so I will see if you've responded.
If this makes zero sense, it's because I'm a git. This phone has a screen that is far too small. As stated, will clean up once at more suitable device.