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  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

August Getting Staying Clean and Sober Thread vs Light in August

Captain.Heroin said:
Congrats on the job. :)

Everyone gets a paycheck except me :|
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Thanks, CH. If it makes a difference, my paycheck at this job is going to pretty damn small :\. The price we pay for something that might not act as a soul vampire.
 
I wanted to mention, we (the SL moderators) just kicked off a new, experimental service that is intended to help folks on SL find and maintain a "partnership" with another SL'er. If you're interested, check out the new sticky thread called Sober Living Partner Program: Administration and Discussion.

By "partnership" we mean that folks on SL can pair up with other members of the community to support each other in their recovery and other life issues. It's very informal, and of course completely optional. But I hope the community will find it worthwhile. Something along these lines has been requested in the past, and similar programs have found interest in other forums.

If you have any questions about the program, feel free to post them on the "Administration and Discussion" thread I linked to above. You can also PM me with questions or comments.

(PS, sorry for the slightly spammy nature of this post :\...I just wanted to make sure the word about the program gets out.)
 
This is a great idea! I think each and everyone that visits the SL forum will get something out of it. :)
 
thanks, craving disappeared. with really strong cravings I can't distract myself, but this time it was ok. did the usual stuff, been painting a lot :)
some people from NA went partying but I prefer staying at home painting xD
I got a little bit annoyed with negative meetings, but I'll go more to the english ones :D the spirit tends to be higher

and I was able to do some important stuff, so I officially started my bachelor thesis. even though I have known the topic for almost 4 months :D it was nice to not stress too much in early recovery. that's my first clean time I've ever tried. really needed withdrawals to realize, I had a problem with my drug use.
 
^^
Painting and working on your thesis are great options, so long as you're able to summon that kind of attention and focus.

Also, I think it's great that you were able to recognize that the negativity of certain NA meetings was too much. Definitely listen to your instincts...it sounds like your instincts are spot on, Lamurion.

<3 Sim
 
There are some AA meetings which I cannot stand one bit! One of those meetings my sponsor has me going to it every Monday night, to help me work on my differences. Was told that if you feel some type of way at a meeting, do something about it,and be the change.
So that being said I have met some people there that I can get along with. I shouldn't go to a meeting because I don't 'fit in' there(by the clothes i wear, or what type of car,watch,or phone I have).
That being said I am glad that I am doing such thing because it really helps me work on a lot of my self-insecurties.

I am really excited to see the full solar eclipse tomorrow! This will be the first one that i've witnessed. I have a pair of special glasses to see it with too.
Going to get away from the husslebussle from the city to the outskirts of town to watch it. Maybe along the waterfront somewhere.
 
D's said:
There are some AA meetings which I cannot stand one bit! One of those meetings my sponsor has me going to it every Monday night, to help me work on my differences. Was told that if you feel some type of way at a meeting, do something about it,and be the change.
So that being said I have met some people there that I can get along with. I shouldn't go to a meeting because I don't 'fit in' there(by the clothes i wear, or what type of car,watch,or phone I have).
That being said I am glad that I am doing such thing because it really helps me work on a lot of my self-insecurties.

I am really excited to see the full solar eclipse tomorrow! This will be the first one that i've witnessed. I have a pair of special glasses to see it with too.
Going to get away from the husslebussle from the city to the outskirts of town to watch it. Maybe along the waterfront somewhere.
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Yeah, I'm jazzed about the eclipse too. And if I recall, D's, you're right in the path where it's going be really spectacular! Around my parts, much less so. Still, a pretty cool event.
 
This time last year I was rolling into detox,and by gods grace i made it 365 days clean and sober.
 
I decided yesterday to throw out some ALD-52 and 4-HO-MET I had in my dresser drawer. I've known it was there the whole time I've been clean, but was not sure if I might use it again in the future, or give it to a friend, or something along those lines. I was scared to look where I had it stored because I thought I might have held onto other drugs besides those, something I would have been tempted to use in the moment. Luckily I was pretty obsessive when it came to where my drugs were stored (usually on my person) so I never really hid anything.

NA literature considers this kind of behavior a reservation, and I have to agree. I was absolutely holding onto those drugs in case life didn't turn out the way I expected. Despite that recognition, I still feel rather ambivalent. I am not 100% sure where I stand on using psychedelic drugs - LSD, DMT, mushrooms have offered me some of the most vital and transformative experiences in my life, and the thought of never using any of those again is a little disconcerting. At the very least I know that drugs have no place in my life for right now, regardless of how I might think about them today.

I made some other life changes yesterday too - disabled Twitter and Scruff (gay men's dating/hookup app) and reduced caffeine intake. I feel a little better today, much less anxious for sure. I've still ruminated a little bit, worrying if I've made the right decisions, and what impact it will have moving forward.

WHEW! It's exhausting to live in my head sometimes. To bring it all back to a positive place, I started a kombucha brew this morning and am super excited about it! I need more little projects like that to do around the home. Anybody have some clever ideas? Should I make more fermented food/drink? Kimchi, sauerkraut?!
 
good you threw that out. I personally am too afraid of getting psychotic to ever want to use psychedelics again. had enough of that fun.

both my wrists hurt and I can do nothing ._. and suddenly I'd love to do something for uni. well, patience
 
Got a PM from Sim and realized I haven't been around for a while. A close friend from treatment got pinched with her third DUI last week and I helped her get on a plane to treatment out of state. I hope she finds someone who can help her and that she stays for at least 90 days. Now that she's somewhat coherent, the guilt of what she's put her family and partner through is eating her up. It's going to take a lot of therapy to work through that even under the most ideal circumstances. Had dinner with the partner last night and now that she's not having to babysit someone, she's not sure what to do with all the free time she now has on her hands. I never saw it from that perspective, but the caretaker ends up in pretty much the same place as the addict: "ok, now what?"

Went to Columbia, SC to see the eclipse. The initial plan was to go to Charleston (a cool place to go under any circumstances) but a stationary front was causing occasional rain, and I had already driven all that way, so I stayed on the road until I got near Columbia. It was awesome and totally worth the 11 hour drive home (should take 6 in normal traffic). I got a good picture with the real camera and would share it with you all but it doesn't live on the internet, so I can't post it.

Also finished up my First Aid for the Diving Professional course and it feels nice to be making concrete progress toward a professional rating (divemaster, then instructor) in the scuba diving world.

Back to work. Working all weekend to make up for playing hooky to go see the eclipse.
 
I found a sponsor and started working the first step :) really happy.
but I guess I should have a doctor taking a look at my wrist :/ until then I chill and meet people
 
Either 3-4 days clean. Hard to keep count. The days and nights are all bleeding into each other due to insomnia from repeated attempts to quit over the last month but this is it. Broke, no job and my car is barely running. I am gifted with enough dead ends to make further using impractical. I know that I have been gifted with the time and space to begin real recovery unencumbered. I am extremely positive, motivated and hopeful at the moment. Love u guyz and I plan to be around a lot more now. Lets get it crackin'....
 
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