CH, I am the cokehead of espresso (espresso / espressos? I know you know your grammar man). I find coffee euphoric, it balances out the sedatives I'm on too. I can have like 10 a day sometimes, taste goes well with blond moroccan hash. I stopped smoking weed completely I'd actually turn it down would just hurt my throat at this point. I'm burning traditional hash these days as I lost my rig unfortunately. But I'm loving the hash it's a nice balance to hit on a bed of ash in bong. I find I don't have to clean my bong for like a month, kind of like my past rig. I used to have to clean my bong like daily it would get dirty from herb so quick.
Anyone know why I would suddenly have cravings 5 months later for H. It hasn't been a problem very much yet but I am fiending now for a line. Thing is I'm pretty sure I royally decayed my nose so if I relapsed I wouldn't want dope anywhere near it. I've been killer with the hot yoga this year and my veins are very prominent. Taught myself to shoot last year. Why now after 5 months. I'm not where I want to be not even close. Can't even find a summer job and that is the really irritating thing. I like to work hard but left to my own volition I am a lazy fuck / creative. I need a job I'm losing (gaining?) touch with reality more than after a few blotters.
Hard times. Getting a little nervous with the impulsivity. 5 months is a long time to make a decision but I've thought about this for about 2 weeks now. Back of my mind sort of thing, it's just not working out. I'd rather be a junkie than end my life intentionally.