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February 2017 Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v. Sweethearts and Party Beads

so next week, i will get a $50 giftcard for being a month smoke-free. where to go from there? that gift card makes all this shit worth it to be honest. i mean no ones giving me shit for being sober 6 months, so going to use the gift card to reward myself on a good job well fucking done drew!

and just go from there.
 
congrats on your month off tobacco :)

so many people have a real problem quitting it. you're a real inspiration d's! :)
 
Captain.Heroin said:
congrats on your month off tobacco :)

so many people have a real problem quitting it. you're a real inspiration d's! :)
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thanks CH, yeah it was hard as fuck at first to quit smoking while 'in rehab', because EVERYONE there smokes, hell even I smoked. I had $0.00 to afford my habit, and yet I would smoke. I hated asking and bumming smokes, me telling myself that once i bummed a cigarette from someone then i couldn't speak to them for the rest of the day because when they are smoking then I automatically want to ask them for a cigarette. its like you telling me something is really going wrong with you in your life, and you fire up a cigarette, and all i can think about is asking you for a cigarette. like yeah i was listening to you up to the point when you fired up a cigarette.
so now i can listen to people that smoke, and yeah the thought does cross my mind at times, I just say no I don't want to pick up today.
 
D's said:
thanks CH, yeah it was hard as fuck at first to quit smoking while 'in rehab', because EVERYONE there smokes, hell even I smoked. I had $0.00 to afford my habit, and yet I would smoke. I hated asking and bumming smokes, me telling myself that once i bummed a cigarette from someone then i couldn't speak to them for the rest of the day because when they are smoking then I automatically want to ask them for a cigarette. its like you telling me something is really going wrong with you in your life, and you fire up a cigarette, and all i can think about is asking you for a cigarette. like yeah i was listening to you up to the point when you fired up a cigarette.
so now i can listen to people that smoke, and yeah the thought does cross my mind at times, I just say no I don't want to pick up today.
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Did you experience any withdrawal from tobacco, or just craving?

I've heard a really wide range of experiences with it. One of my ex's never could stop smoking, though she gave up literally everything else and was able to "get down to" about 2-3 cigarettes a day at one point.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Did you experience any withdrawal from tobacco, or just craving?

I've heard a really wide range of experiences with it. One of my ex's never could stop smoking, though she gave up literally everything else and was able to "get down to" about 2-3 cigarettes a day at one point.
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what i did was this, when i was able to bring my smoking down to 7 cigarettes a day for a week, it was a lot easier to quit cold turkey. not 100% sure on how much nicotine that was, but it was enough so my body wasn't like going through WDs, I tell you what has helped me was investing those few dollars into cinnamon flavored toothpicks, and i keep one in my mouth pretty much at all times.

I do recommend quitting 1 thing at a time tho, if you think you can manage quiting smoking and drugs at the same time then more power to you! for me, I had to quit drugs, then quit smoking. I am involved in a smoke free support group, which is a good way I can get support for wanting to smoke.
 
I stopped smoking 19 years ago from atleast a pack a day it was my first time i ever tried to quit, i had prescription for Zyban all i had was slight cravings no wds symptoms. I do remember having fucking crazy dreams on zyban.
 
Mondays always feel weird to me. I still experience some of that childhood dread of the weekend being over and having to go back to "normal life". I feel okay right now, although a bit lethargic. I have my second outpatient session tonight, with an assignment ready to share. I'm hopeful that this program will help with some of the emotional issues I have. It seems like it'll be easier to talk intimately with this group than it would in a 12-step meeting.

I've been dealing with impulsivity/compulsivity, anxiety and fear lately. It feels like my mind is on overdrive at times, and there's this sort of desperation to act out in an unscripted fashion, just to garner some sort of response. I know I don't have to respond to these thoughts and feelings, and I'm okay with that, it's the analysis paralysis that comes later that drives me crazy. "What if I did this, what if I did that, why didn't I do this, why didn't I do that" over and over and over. I'm still adjusting to thinking and feeling everything all at once, and not suppressing or avoiding the issues that underlie all the substance abuse, and I think it'll take some time to know how to use my body and mind to their potential.
 
Grinders Kiefers said:
Mondays always feel weird to me. I still experience some of that childhood dread of the weekend being over and having to go back to "normal life". I feel okay right now, although a bit lethargic. I have my second outpatient session tonight, with an assignment ready to share. I'm hopeful that this program will help with some of the emotional issues I have. It seems like it'll be easier to talk intimately with this group than it would in a 12-step meeting.

I've been dealing with impulsivity/compulsivity, anxiety and fear lately. It feels like my mind is on overdrive at times, and there's this sort of desperation to act out in an unscripted fashion, just to garner some sort of response. I know I don't have to respond to these thoughts and feelings, and I'm okay with that, it's the analysis paralysis that comes later that drives me crazy. "What if I did this, what if I did that, why didn't I do this, why didn't I do that" over and over and over. I'm still adjusting to thinking and feeling everything all at once, and not suppressing or avoiding the issues that underlie all the substance abuse, and I think it'll take some time to know how to use my body and mind to their potential.
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I was doing the same with analysis paralysis for a month or two after wds. Now i try to only look forward and not overthink shit too much, i have incorporated a (is what it is) attitude, look ahead only and take one day at a time.
 
Yeah, I find that when I start to ruminate like that I just have to force myself to do something to get out of my head. Doesn't matter what: chores, meditating, biking, walking, listening to music and doing art, whatever. Just getting out of my head for 45 minutes makes a big difference.
 
Thanks for the support. I've been writing in a word processor for the past hour or so. No real direction with what I'm writing, just anything and everything that comes to mind. It's helping me process some deeper, more abstract thoughts and feelings.
 
Grinders Kiefers said:
Thanks for the support. I've been writing in a word processor for the past hour or so. No real direction with what I'm writing, just anything and everything that comes to mind. It's helping me process some deeper, more abstract thoughts and feelings.
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Writing is really therapeutic. I do it all the time.
 
Got 2 days as of this morning. Hope everyone's doing good, and for those that aren't, hope it gets better.
 
Im not looking forward to feb its been awful so far..... im hoping that being away from my partner (by court order for 12 months) is going to help me get sober... im looking at a dark and lonley path but that might be for the best....
 
Hmess0610 said:
Im not looking forward to feb its been awful so far..... im hoping that being away from my partner (by court order for 12 months) is going to help me get sober... im looking at a dark and lonley path but that might be for the best....
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I wish you well on your journey and welcome to Bluelight.
 
toothpastedog said:
How goes your day TLD? :)
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Yesterday was good! nerve pain in my feet was bothering me bad in morning so i took 150mgs lyrica. So the rest of day was good nerve pain down 80% my mood changes quickly between less pain and how lyrica effects my mood. Just wish i could take it everyday but between building tolerance quickly and after doing lyrica for a couple weeks then stopping i did suffer a little gaba wd mainly mental, nothing good is free! thanks for asking TPD:)
 
Totally :) I am glad to hear your are taking good care of yourself TLD! What have you been doing for fun these days? Like, have you done anything in the last week or couple days you really enjoyed (could be as simple as starting a new book or eating a particularly tasty meal)?
 
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