• H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

October Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v. Jack-o'-lanterns and drag queens

Aplum -

It'll end. The frustrating part is that it will end on its own timeframe - not ours. The waiting for it to end is almost the worst part. Especially around day 4 for me. What day are you on now?

Just know now that the pain is your body healing - I know it doesn't feel good, but healing rarely does until the end product. It helps me mentally when I'm laying in bed in agony at 2:30 a.m. while the whole fucking world is sleeping their non-addicted little heads off, to know that at least the pain is FOR something. It's for a healthy mind/body/life. And the damage has been done, so the healing is inevitable - it's now or its later after more damage is done.

Also, just know any thought you have that encourages going back to the opiates is just your addiction talking. Just remind yourself what the goal is - abstinence from opiates so that you can live a productive life without them (hopefully I'm not assuming too much there). The only thing that can derail you from that is the opiate itself.

It may help to start your own thread so you can document how your process go - and tell us why you are quitting. That way you have something to refer back to when times get tough? Just a thought.

Best set if luck Plum. I'm with you all the way!!!

- VE
 
6 years on 1/7/17! Still so grateful!

Hang in there aplumgirl. Sleep and the lack of it was always one of the most difficult symptoms to stomach for me. I felt as though it was so unfair that i wasn't able to achieve those 8 or so hours of dreamy nothingness my SO at the time was enjoying(we detoxed together). Hopefully you can get some rest this evening. ❤
 
Aplum -

It'll end. The frustrating part is that it will end on its own timeframe - not ours. The waiting for it to end is almost the worst part. Especially around day 4 for me. What day are you on now?

Just know now that the pain is your body healing - I know it doesn't feel good, but healing rarely does until the end product. It helps me mentally when I'm laying in bed in agony at 2:30 a.m. while the whole fucking world is sleeping their non-addicted little heads off, to know that at least the pain is FOR something. It's for a healthy mind/body/life. And the damage has been done, so the healing is inevitable - it's now or its later after more damage is done.

Also, just know any thought you have that encourages going back to the opiates is just your addiction talking. Just remind yourself what the goal is - abstinence from opiates so that you can live a productive life without them (hopefully I'm not assuming too much there). The only thing that can derail you from that is the opiate itself.

It may help to start your own thread so you can document how your process go - and tell us why you are quitting. That way you have something to refer back to when times get tough? Just a thought.

Best set if luck Plum. I'm with you all the way!!!

- VE

It's like you read my mind. I'm on day 3, I'm not sure when all that built up opiate left my system, if it even has.

The inability to sleep has driven me to what I call "sleep envy". It sucks.

I'm glad you understand, thanks for the reassurance e.

If this isn't the appropriate place to post, I underztand. No other thread seemed active, sorry.
 
If this isn't the appropriate place to post, I underztand. No other thread seemed active, sorry.

No, no, that's not what I meant - this is a fine place to post! I just meant that you can create a new thread where you can journal your experience without all the other chatter - but if this is an easier thread to post on, that's totally cool too!

- VE
 
Hey Plum!

its day 4 today, right? Day 4 for me is always the worst. Push through and I think you will feel better soon!

what are you doing for support at home or to keep yourself occupied?

- VE
 
Hey Plum!

its day 4 today, right? Day 4 for me is always the worst. Push through and I think you will feel better soon!

what are you doing for support at home or to keep yourself occupied?

- VE

I'm resting mostly. Taking hot Epsom salt baths at night 2-3 times, heating pad for muscle aches. My husband has made up baggies of pills like valerian root, colloidal magnesium, st. Johns wort, B vitamins and melatonin.

I'm sure there are other remedies.

Today has been hard, I'm convinced this pain won't go away!!
 
6 years on 1/7/17! Still so grateful!

Hang in there aplumgirl. Sleep and the lack of it was always one of the most difficult symptoms to stomach for me. I felt as though it was so unfair that i wasn't able to achieve those 8 or so hours of dreamy nothingness my SO at the time was enjoying(we detoxed together). Hopefully you can get some rest this evening. ❤

congrats! That's amazing!! :D
 
Dayou 5, electric tingles all down right leg. Can anyone tell me how long this living he'll will last?

If it weren't for that and anxiety, I'd feel fine. I really thought I'd be through this by now!!
 
^ In my experience, if you are at day five, you will turn a corner very soon. I've been where you are at three times in the last year - every single time, I was asking myself the same thing at day five. I know it sounds cheesy - but, as they say, don't give up right before the miracle happens.

Hang in there plum. I was right where you are at just 4 days ago, and it does get better.

- VE
 
^ In my experience, if you are at day five, you will turn a corner very soon. I've been where you are at three times in the last year - every single time, I was asking myself the same thing at day five. I know it sounds cheesy - but, as they say, don't give up right before the miracle happens.

Hang in there plum. I was right where you are at just 4 days ago, and it does get better.

- VE

Lord have mercy! I'm clinging to hope and sheer iron will. I truly truly appreciate your kind words! You have my highest esteem if you've done this he'll 3 xs in a year! How strong you are!
 
Lord have mercy! I'm clinging to hope and sheer iron will. I truly truly appreciate your kind words! You have my highest esteem if you've done this he'll 3 xs in a year! How strong you are!

Not strong enough to stay off it, unfortunately :\ - but, hey, the third time is a charm...I hope.

I know exactly what you mean by clinging onto hope and sheer will. There is a good 72ish hours around the 2-5 day mark for me that is literally a struggle every second.

This is my first time quitting using BL as a support system. The last time I was on another forum with chronic pain patients who wanted off their meds. There was someone there who was into Refuge Recovery. I was right about where you are now and really, really, really regretting my decision to quit. She said to me "VE, what do you want? The best high you have ever had, or peace? You can only have one".

Honestly, that one question did more for my resolve than anything else. I know everyone is different - but I thought I would throw it out there in case it is a question you need to answer for yourself. Once I had my answer on that, then my path was pretty clear. It didn't make it easier physically - but it made it clear what I had to do. Not taking opiates was literally the only way for me to obtain that peace - not the numbness of not feeling things or really experiencing life (I could get that by just taking a couple of oxy) - but honest to god, all-natural, peace and stillness.

I know it seems so far away right now, but there is light at the end of this tunnel.

- VE
 
VE,

What day are you on now? Are you still having any symptoms?

I too am a chronic pain pt, which is my height of anxiety, what if the pain is TOO bad?. Today anxiety and RLS are the worst things. I'm much better today truly, just holding steady.

Good luck during your time of sobriety. Keep at it, who wants to go through this he'll again? Not me!
 
VE,

What day are you on now? Are you still having any symptoms?

I too am a chronic pain pt, which is my height of anxiety, what if the pain is TOO bad?. Today anxiety and RLS are the worst things. I'm much better today truly, just holding steady.

Good luck during your time of sobriety. Keep at it, who wants to go through this he'll again? Not me!

My day 9 just started 2 minutes ago. I started counting from my last dose, so my next day starts at 5:00 pm for me. I'm having symptoms, yes, but nothing intolerable at this stage. They almost seem to come and go at this point - so at least I have relief periods throughout the day. I'm certainly not 100%. And I'm glad I am still off work, but I'm getting there. And you will too.

With regard to anxiety over chronic pain - that kept me on opiates for a few extra years for sure! It's certainly a real fear. However, you need to remember that your pain levels will rise (rebound pain I think they call it) while in withdrawal. That's your body trying to tell your mind to feed it opiates - it'll take a few weeks for things to settle down. Please don't get scared just because your pain level is high during withdrawal - that will even itself out over time.

Also, there is a thing called Opiate-induced Hyperalgesia. If you haven't heard of it or researched it, I would recommend it. Your pain level may not actually be as bad as your body thinks it is - but the only way to know for sure is to get off the opiates.

What about dealing with pain through meditation? There is also a doctor out there that, if you have time, you should check out. His name is John D. Sarno. He has some really interesting opinions about chronic pain. He isn't for everyone, but when I read his theories, some of it is useful. He has some interesting studies on pain out there, too.

Plum I know it's scary, especially with pain, but there are literally thousands and thousands of people who have to, like us, choose between opiates or pain. Read some of their stories. It's inspiring!

- VE
 
Top