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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth

LSD - intermediate - Welcome to Hell

WhamBam

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 14, 2016
Messages
2
Okay so I've tripped about 20 or so times and I've never really enjoyed it but I keep doing it because my best friend seems to like it. I usually trip with him and did so this time as well, I'm gonna call him Tom. This is by far the worst experience I have ever had on LSD.

This was about a week ago but I can't stop thinking about it so I decided to write it all out and share it. We both took two tabs and we felt it almost immediately. It started off feeling as if I was choking and nauseous. I felt like I was drowning and for a while in the beginning I thought we were gonna die. Things started to get better (at least the way I physically felt) but then I started feeling an impending doom. I knew it was the LSD so I just tried to ignore it and talk to Tom about random things but whenever I looked at the TV (which was getting more and more ominous looking) I felt as if he was staring at me and when I looked back he was. He wouldn't stop and I kept brushing it off but it kept happening so I asked why he was. He just said he wasn't or something but he clearly was.

I eventually started trying to distract myself by walking around and talking about random stuff. Tom is still watching me and I feel as if I'm going insane. I keep going from hearing too many things to hearing almost nothing.

Eventually we both take a restroom break but when I'm done (which was hard as hell) I get back to the living room and he's nowhere so I'm freaked out and don't want to be alone so I go into his room to see what he's doing. He's just standing in the restroom and looks at me like I'm some kind of monster and honestly he looked scary as well. I ignore it and say he should come sit down with me because I don't want to be alone but he eyes me with suspicion, I can see he doesn't trust me. I try to sound normal and not freak him out but he looks seconds from locking himself away and never coming out. I cannot trip alone because I get scared very easily while tripping so I really needed him. I was panicking so much, I just wanted him to trust me and hangout.

I finally get him to come out but he's still watching me and things feel incredibly awkward. He's obviously freaking out so I tell him to relax and that I'm freaking out too but he needs to find something to keep him grounded. To try to focus on what's happening in the show. He says he can't even watch it and that it's scaring him. It's scaring me too and it feels like all the characters are looking at me so we decide to just put on some music. I do it all because he can't really do anything and I put on what he asks me to. Everything we put on looks and sounds evil, like demon music and I start to feel like I'm in hell. I know I'm not and I cling to that idea and manage to calm down but my friend keeps saying we're in hell and we're dead. I keep trying to calm him down and remind him that it will come to an end after a while but I can tell he doesn't believe a word I'm saying.

Everything negative Tom's saying is starting to get to me and I feel like crying and the room starts falling apart. I start tell him how I feel and he's giving me this insane look and starts laughing and saying that he wants to kill someone too. I immediately feel more terrified than I have ever been before and tell him that wasn't what I was talking about and he looks disappointed. This is the point when I start feeling even more doom. I think my friend is going to kill me. He keeps talking about blood and laughing about people dying and I keep asking him to please stop but he won't. At one point he even puts on a scary mask and starts laughing and acting crazy! I just feel like my best friend is going to try to kill me on LSD and wonder if I could even protect myself without hurting him. I have terrible control of my body and bump into everything. Everything is moving and Tom's face is starting to become disfigured. I go to the restroom to try to relax but I can't and looking at myself in the mirror I feel like I'm looking at a demon. Everything I see is looking this way and I'm seeing insects crawling everywhere.

When I come back and Tom is messing with his face and saying he wants to rip it off and I tell him not to and have to talk him down from attempting to. Time is barely passing and I just want the trip to be over so I can stop worrying about what Tom is doing. He keeps talking about being stuck in a loop that we keep doing the same thing and I sort of feel the same so I say we should try doing something different, but even though we do he still thinks things are repeating itself. After a few hours of hell it seems to be going down and I feel exhausted and I ache all over my body. Things are better from then on and then it's mostly over.

That was it, idk if this is normal while tripping or why it was so bad this time but I don't feel like doing it for awhile. I need a mental break.

Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_lsd
substancecode_lysergamides
explevel_inexperienced
exptype_negative
exptype_difficult
roacode_sublingual
 
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You mentioned you tripped about 20 or so times and you never enjoyed it. That is completely understandable I don't have the best of times while tripping as well. Right after that you mention that you do it because your friend enjoys it. I feel like that isn't the best of reasons to trip. Set and setting is sacred and if you're in that set all the time while tripping it's never going to be pleasant. I feel like your friend and you must have a connection. I have tripped with many of my closest friends and I come to the realization that sometimes it's not wise to trip with them. Other peoples mindsets can send yours to a very scary place if not careful while tripping. You said you're going to take a break well if you do decide to come back I suggest tripping by yourself and facing your fears, but then again I am a daredevil. If you could face your fears you could take on anything the world has to throw at you. If you do happen to trip with the same friend of yours I suggest maybe incorporating a third wheel just to watch over you guys. Now this third wheel can't be a random someone. Look for a person you and your friend both trust. On another note if you choose to dismiss that then I suggest the next time you and you're friend trip that you both of you are more open with each other. Set boundaries for each other before hand. Maybe even incorporate a code word that should be used when one or both of you guys are freaking out. If you have any questions feel free to ask
 
Well I guess it's interesting at times but that's about it. I know doing it because my friend likes it isn't the best reason but I usually have an okay mindset, I don't expect to hate it or anything. I always hope to have fun, it just never really works out that way. Tripping alone seems terrifying, not sure if I could. Clinging to other people when I trip is my attempt to try to stay as sane as possible, to remind me I'm not actually going crazy. Maybe if I ever get the guts I'll try it.
I've thought about the third wheel but we don't share many mutual friends. The code word is a good idea! Hope he goes for it but I think he may feel stifled, he gets offended somewhat easily. I'll definitely try talking to him so if we do do it again we'll both feel better. Also, do you know how to get out of a bad trip? Like is there music or something I could do?
Thanks for all the advice!
 
Well I guess it's interesting at times but that's about it. I know doing it because my friend likes it isn't the best reason but I usually have an okay mindset, I don't expect to hate it or anything. I always hope to have fun, it just never really works out that way. Tripping alone seems terrifying, not sure if I could. Clinging to other people when I trip is my attempt to try to stay as sane as possible, to remind me I'm not actually going crazy. Maybe if I ever get the guts I'll try it.
I've thought about the third wheel but we don't share many mutual friends. The code word is a good idea! Hope he goes for it but I think he may feel stifled, he gets offended somewhat easily. I'll definitely try talking to him so if we do do it again we'll both feel better. Also, do you know how to get out of a bad trip? Like is there music or something I could do?
Thanks for all the advice!
Well you have to look at a trip like if it were a rollercoaster. It can have its ups and downs. It can be frightening and it can have you screaming in pure horror yet in another second it could be sunshine and rainbows. What I'm trying to get at is that a trip doesn't have to be a bad trip throughout the whole experience. You just have to learn how to steer it into the right direction. There's numerous ways you can do this but the best ways are by experience. You need to find out what works best for you. For me before I even attempt to drop I try to improve my life as best as I can. This can be doing something as simply like cleaning my room or something even more complicated like making sure I'm on top of all my grades. Finally when I actually drop if I find my thoughts going into negative space I find changing music, changing the room I'm in, going outside, or even talking to myself to be helpful. Now if a trip is going insanely horrible taking a nice bowl hit always does the trick.

Another thing to note is I feel like you should embrace your craziness. It's okay to go a little insane every once in a while. Now take my words lately by no means should you try to hurt yourself or anyone else. I understand that the thought of that is frightening but you need to understand that you have to learn how to let go in order to get that out of your headspace. That frightening feeling of going insane is only a thought loop. If you can withstand it you'll be home free. Your mind will eventually snap out of it way before the trip is over and if it doesn't you'll be back to your normal self the next day. You can experiment with this by taking less of a dose. Cut a tab into 4 pieces and take a corner. Learn how to control a little bit to control a lot more. A little can take you a long way. Less is more and more is less. Stay positive, you got this :)
 
This is why I don't do psychedelics. I'm way too emotionally unbalanced to enjoy them and always end up having a bad trip. I wish I could though.
 
whoa.... That sounds like the worst trip EVER! I seriously think you need to have a cleanse after such a pervasively negative experience. Get out into nature and keep it simple. I felt for you both so much during this episode, and I must say I am proud of you for keeping things from getting completely out of hand - that shows me you have considerable mental toughness and awareness and man - treasure that stuff! You can find highs that are less mentally taxing, more predictable and most importantly - euphoric. I think it's safe to say that LSD sounds like a mental ordeal rather than an escape for you, and you may find your friend is only doing it because he thinks YOU love doing it. Who knows! It's fun to experiment, but it's also good to know when your brain has reached it's hallucinogen tipping point - it happens to the best of us. Thank you for sharing, and reinforcing that I never want to trip again. Stay safe xxx
 
May I say, this is just stellar advice and support. I love everything ^^ he said
 
I'm sorry you had to go through such an ordeal, but understand that this is the psychedelics way of telling you that they're not to be taken lightly. You must try steering the trip even before you partake, make sure it is something you really want to do at the moment and as others have mentioned already make sure you are prepared for it, otherwise you're just setting yourself up for a potentially bad experience.
 
Sounds similar to my bad trips. I suggest kava flipping as a strategy to make your trips better in the future. I've never tried it but I've heard very good things. You just take the LSD when you're high off kava kava, and you keep drinking more kava throughout the trip. Makes it more euphoric and far less paranoid/scary
 
Do not trip if you do not like it. Tell your friend to fuck off because you are going to do heavy emotional damage like this.
 
This is why I don't do psychedelics. I'm way too emotionally unbalanced to enjoy them and always end up having a bad trip. I wish I could though.

Here here. Once you have had some incredibly bad trips and you realize your anxiety is way to great to trip on acid at a dose that makes you have visuals it is liberating.
 
Here here. Once you have had some incredibly bad trips and you realize your anxiety is way to great to trip on acid at a dose that makes you have visuals it is liberating.

I disagree. I do not believe that anyone truly suffers from anxiety so crippling that they can't get positive experiences from LSD. Learning how to handle trip anxiety is the same as learning to handle anxiety in real life. It takes lots of attempts and it requires you to set yourself up for several easy victories at the start. That means taking regular threshold doses and kava flipping on higher doses. Eventually you will ease yourself into a mindstate where you can manage your anxiety very well (for tripping alone at least. For social tripping it may well be that some people are just too neurotic to ever learn how to handle it around others. Me included, but this is down to a lack of practice as social tripping is just too much of a mindfuck to put myself through over and over. I still might learn to do it one day. )
 
Now if a trip is going insanely horrible taking a nice bowl hit always does the trick.

This should only be attempted by veteran psychonauts and smokers. Many people, including myself, find that adding weed to any trip is a rocket ship to hell.

Look at the 'bad trips' on erowid, and how many of them start with '..and then we decided to pack a bowl'
 
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