Jib and face picking!! Jesus

Damn. =/ Well try not to fuck up your life too much on it. Hide your phone, use porn instead of all your friends... and try not to go out in public and be crazy. c: I... cannot refrain from doing the opposite. I call people I shouldn't, have sex with people I shouldn't... or attempt to lololol... and act burnt as fuck because I'm twazzled as fuck and all in life seems okay... when really I'm "That guy"... you know who I'm talking about ;) The guy that walks up to you and starts talking to you... for 30+ hours... lol
 
Damn. =/ Well try not to fuck up your life too much on it. Hide your phone, use porn instead of all your friends... and try not to go out in public and be crazy. c: I... cannot refrain from doing the opposite. I call people I shouldn't, have sex with people I shouldn't... or attempt to lololol... and act burnt as fuck because I'm twazzled as fuck and all in life seems okay... when really I'm "That guy"... you know who I'm talking about ;) The guy that walks up to you and starts talking to you... for 30+ hours... lol


Well this time I made it almost a week without doing jib. Im coming of smack and I really wanted to get high, but all I can get is smack, crack, soft and jib. I don't like crack or soft one bit and am trying to not do smack so I just decided to get a q of jib. Yea I tried to be sober but after 8 years its too damn hard to just go cold turkey. I'm lucky enough to be going to where I can't get drugs in the first week of july for about a month so that'll give me a much needed break from things. Made appointments to see my psych's and therapists as well.

Yea I gotta learn to hide my phone, I start spamming out people with texts of just random things I'm doing and videos of me smoking or shooting up (I cover my face heh.). I wish I could find someone to have sex with but I don't seem to have anyone I can just have as a fun buddy at the moment :(. Altho I don't even really get overly sexualized at all, I don't even really think about sex, mind you it might be fun to do all night with the right person! Heh I don't like porn at all or anything like that, so it's real or nothing :p But yea when I go out in the morning the only weird thing I do is wear bandanas over my face in the morning when I go out, but I do that every day lmao. Yea I know exactly the type of guy you're describing lmao.
 
Well at least you're having fun bro lol get your highs in before rehab :p
 
That's true yea. I leave early next month and I wanna to go out having a good time not letting myself become an anxious mess from not using.

hehehhe

EDIT: Fucking autocorrect
 
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I've done my fair share of meth back in the day, via every ROA except for plugging, but I never did understand the "pickers". I always thought that was so nasty.
 
Never been a picker myself. Ive never seen the bug thing either thankfully. Ive seen shit that wasnt there but never bugs
 
=(
I pick my face (and fingers) tweaker style constantly every day while 100% sober. my skin is a fucking mess. after actually being on meth/other amphetamines for any period of time I look worse than the worst of the "faces of meth" photos in terms of picking sores. one of the many reasons I don't do that shit anymore. it's bad enough as is.
wish I could control the compulsion. one of my many compulsive behaviours and one of if not the most out of control. I'm just glad/lucky I don't scar easily.
combine my compulsive skin picking w/ my anorexia and severe anxiety disorder and I play the part of a meth addict extremely convincingly despite never having been addicted to meth and not even have used it in several years. blah.
 
Okay so last time on a meth binge I found myself video taping the bathroom mirror and then I put my sunglasses on my hand and went up to the mirror and I would make these funny clicking Swahili tribal types of sounds and would then hide behind the wash basin ofor a while and then I would do it again. Hours of video where my hand talks to the mirror.
 
I seem to have a problem with this as well... It's actually what prompted me to create my Bluelight account. I did some simple research and what I've come to find is that it could be related to a "Skin Picking Disorder". The first ever instance I've had with this issue was when I was well along in my addiction with Meth. This made it... not as surprising as it would be without the use of Meth, because we all know what that does to your skin. But I've been on a new path lately. I went to a rehab, I'm starting to get situated back into my life. I'm looking for a job and have some promising leads, etc. But with all this of course comes a lot of stress. Stress, anxiety, depression... I think we all kinda know the deal with that and I expected these things, well to be honest I've just been living with them forever know, even while in active addiction. But regardless, I'm sober and all of a sudden I go through a skin picking episode. EXACTLY how I would if I were ZOOTED and got "trapped into the mirror". Like?! What?!... So I did a little bit of research like I mentioned. I found out about the "Skin Picking Disorder" and maybe after what I went through, I'm now living with some extra baggage? It was just so weird how it happened almost exactly the same. Just a simple honest look into the mirror at first. Then maybe seeing a little something. You think about it for a good few seconds and then it comes over you to "just get this one little pimple". At this point your still consciously making you decisions obviously. But soon after that, you see another small one and maybe another after that, and this is kind of where I lose myself... I'm not even sure the exact moment when it happens but at some point you lose yourself there and can't pull away from it. Your STUCK in what feels like a few moments but could end up being over an HOUR! I finally gain my consciousness back when I'm wrapping things up. Which is about the same time I'm finally able to realize the extent of the damage I just caused on myself. This works HORRORS on your self-esteem, etc. I NEED to find a way out of this NIGHTMARE. The thing is, it also doesn't happen very often. It's actually a pretty rare occurrence. This has been the first one I've ever had sober. And I've been sober for a few months this go around. But on other occasions I've been sober for over a year and never had this issue (this was obviously after I've experienced the horrors of it in active addiction).

If ANYONE has ANY insight to anything relating to this topic, please comment and let me know. Even if all you have are sources on where to get some more information about it on, it would be greatly appreciated. The only information I could really find on it so far was just a basic description with some common examples and ways to treat etc. I found this on the U.K.'s National Health Service Website.

Thanks in advance!

- ThatGuyAroundTheBlock
 
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