Recently i wondered if almost all the people, who got dumped, after some time have been healed by another human being of opposite gender. It is the only way? I know a lot of people here will disagree with this, while using arguments about how one should resolve all his own issues before meeting the other person and burden this person with personal baggage. It makes sense on paper, but in reality i don't see people act like that. Of all the people i know, whom suffered a breakup, almost everyone has been healed only after meeting somebody new. I read it all the time. All those sayings like "when i finally met him/her all the thoughts about my ex disappeared in a moment" make me angry.
What one can do, if due some circumstances, he just can't meet somebody new? All my life i had extreme difficulties with getting along with girls. I was rejected dozens of times in one way or another, until i made my life a little better and got on zoloft pills. At the age of 20 i met my first, probably the last, girlfriend, who was 4 years younger than me. I was so glad back then, but in the end it turned out to be biggest disaster of my life.
Long story short - after 2 years of dating, i decided to stop taking zoloft and it made me more depressed than usual. I experienced withdrawal and needed support, but instead of it, my ex began to have disputes with me on variety of subjects. It became much worse after i was foolish enough to introduce her to my former best friend of 15 years, who is much more successful than me. He is very rich and famous guy, while i have part-time job and study pretty mediocre institute. She started to reproach me constantly on being underachiever and boring, while talking all the time about my ex-friends, how cool and interesting guy he was, how much they had in common and how, suddenly, we turned out to be "very different". They began to talk via skype and delete the messages so i could not read them. So, i tried to prevent the obvious result of this process, but all of my attempts just made this worse. At one day, she kissed me and went to her home, changed her number, turned off her home telephone and ring bell, stopped responding to me on social media, despite being online all the time - she just disappeared for me. And the same thing did my ex-friend, he stopped answering his phone and skype, until 2 weeks have passed and he finally picked up the phone and told me that my ex-gf decided to dump me to be with him. She told it only to him and not to me, because she was "scared to hurt me". I gave him an ultimatum - either he erases her from his life or our friendship of 15 hears is done. He agreed that we are done as friends.
After it happened, i fell into deadly depression, tried to kill myself and nearly died. The recovery was long, after it i decided to try to build new life for me. I restored some contacts with old friends, did some self-development intellectual things, started to work out. After few months of this hard work, i tried to meet somebody new and failed terribly. I was on 6 dates with different girls and was rejected by single one of them. Each rejection killed my confidence until it disappeared completely. Each rejection became another memory that haunts me everywhere and makes me cringe in pain. It seems like the experience with my ex was some kind of unique miracle that will never repeat in my life.
I just can't raise my self-esteem because i always compare myself with my ex-friend. Every time i want to feel something positive about my life, the memory of this betrayal appears in my mind and spoiling everything. We were similar in the beginning, the poor middle-class families, socially awkward, outcasts in school. But he had great father while i raised by a single mother. He is confident, knows how to be a man, has sense of humor that charmed my ex-gf, he has loads of money and big fame. He has everything i don't have.
But right now this feeling of inferiority multiplied by thousand. He stole the only girl i ever had and he is living his luxury life with her, while im deeply depressed. Every time when i imagine them having sex, i want to die or erase my memory.
I cant decide should i accept that i wont ever have success with girls i like again or should i keep hitting the wall and exhausting myself, until i will be completely crazy and mad person, getting full mental after some final rejection? People say things like "the more times you feel rejection the more you become apathetic towards it" - this is wrong! The each rejection i had hurt me more than previous one. It has some strange increasing effect for me.
And there is most fcked up part - i started to feel very angry when i read, hear, see other people having sex and relationships. This shit is everywhere - on the streets, on social media, in books, in TV series in cinema, in internet forums. I see a couple outside and i hate them because they will never know how it feels to be the person like me. To be always rejected, to be cheated on, to be dumped and betrayed by the best friends at the same time.
Can anybody relate or give some advice?
What one can do, if due some circumstances, he just can't meet somebody new? All my life i had extreme difficulties with getting along with girls. I was rejected dozens of times in one way or another, until i made my life a little better and got on zoloft pills. At the age of 20 i met my first, probably the last, girlfriend, who was 4 years younger than me. I was so glad back then, but in the end it turned out to be biggest disaster of my life.
Long story short - after 2 years of dating, i decided to stop taking zoloft and it made me more depressed than usual. I experienced withdrawal and needed support, but instead of it, my ex began to have disputes with me on variety of subjects. It became much worse after i was foolish enough to introduce her to my former best friend of 15 years, who is much more successful than me. He is very rich and famous guy, while i have part-time job and study pretty mediocre institute. She started to reproach me constantly on being underachiever and boring, while talking all the time about my ex-friends, how cool and interesting guy he was, how much they had in common and how, suddenly, we turned out to be "very different". They began to talk via skype and delete the messages so i could not read them. So, i tried to prevent the obvious result of this process, but all of my attempts just made this worse. At one day, she kissed me and went to her home, changed her number, turned off her home telephone and ring bell, stopped responding to me on social media, despite being online all the time - she just disappeared for me. And the same thing did my ex-friend, he stopped answering his phone and skype, until 2 weeks have passed and he finally picked up the phone and told me that my ex-gf decided to dump me to be with him. She told it only to him and not to me, because she was "scared to hurt me". I gave him an ultimatum - either he erases her from his life or our friendship of 15 hears is done. He agreed that we are done as friends.
After it happened, i fell into deadly depression, tried to kill myself and nearly died. The recovery was long, after it i decided to try to build new life for me. I restored some contacts with old friends, did some self-development intellectual things, started to work out. After few months of this hard work, i tried to meet somebody new and failed terribly. I was on 6 dates with different girls and was rejected by single one of them. Each rejection killed my confidence until it disappeared completely. Each rejection became another memory that haunts me everywhere and makes me cringe in pain. It seems like the experience with my ex was some kind of unique miracle that will never repeat in my life.
I just can't raise my self-esteem because i always compare myself with my ex-friend. Every time i want to feel something positive about my life, the memory of this betrayal appears in my mind and spoiling everything. We were similar in the beginning, the poor middle-class families, socially awkward, outcasts in school. But he had great father while i raised by a single mother. He is confident, knows how to be a man, has sense of humor that charmed my ex-gf, he has loads of money and big fame. He has everything i don't have.
But right now this feeling of inferiority multiplied by thousand. He stole the only girl i ever had and he is living his luxury life with her, while im deeply depressed. Every time when i imagine them having sex, i want to die or erase my memory.
I cant decide should i accept that i wont ever have success with girls i like again or should i keep hitting the wall and exhausting myself, until i will be completely crazy and mad person, getting full mental after some final rejection? People say things like "the more times you feel rejection the more you become apathetic towards it" - this is wrong! The each rejection i had hurt me more than previous one. It has some strange increasing effect for me.
And there is most fcked up part - i started to feel very angry when i read, hear, see other people having sex and relationships. This shit is everywhere - on the streets, on social media, in books, in TV series in cinema, in internet forums. I see a couple outside and i hate them because they will never know how it feels to be the person like me. To be always rejected, to be cheated on, to be dumped and betrayed by the best friends at the same time.
Can anybody relate or give some advice?
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