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  • NSADD Moderators: deficiT | Jen

Heroin MA heroin V3 I'm wicked jammed kid

don't everyone respond at once, haha...guess no one can figure me out...for now guess I'll maintain till I can psych myself up to just stop doing the shit and get a real life instead of this dreary existenze....:\ :p
 
I've never been addicted to one substance, but I have substance abuse disorder and used to dabble in any and everything. What worked for me was getting things in life that aren't worth losing. Things to live for. Whether it be a job, a person or simply a better life style/financials.
 
^Embracing something you're passionate about can be life-changing. For me that used to be drugs and toxic people, nowadays I find myself no longer able to be passionate about any drug because I have used and abused them all until I was sick to my stomach and in a brain damaged fugue state for months on end. In terms of people, don't even get me started. Every single relationship and friendship I had while I was using was full of toxicity of the worst kind. It's almost like my mindset at the time attracted people to me that would use me up and take advantage of me. Straying away from relationships for at least another half a year to a year when I will start giving people chances. For now though I am just focusing on work. That's why people say rehab is good (although I have never been due to financial constraints, my rehab consisted of my computer and a small room where I was left to recover in solitude). It gives one a window of opportunity for a spark to ignite a passion that is positive and healthy.
For the "true" polydrug abusers such as myself, that is what it takes to stop poisoning ourselves. The lifestyle and financials comes afterwards. For a while after you quit, if you're like me, you will have nothing. It really shows you the value of everything and puts it all in perspective to be that way. I must say I am happy to be blessed with a second chance - how much of it was divine and how much was my own doing, I don't exactly know, but I don't think it matters. All that matters is that I am here now and trying my hardest/doing my best. Which is much, much more than I ever would have believed myself to be capable of during the peak of my addictions.
 
Razkal, I know exactly how you feel, same shit for me basically (btw your 50!?). I'm from Western MA originally (pitt, Lenox) but recently moved to South shore area to get clean, two years ago. I sectioned 35 myself, I was homeless for a long time, off an on 5-6 years, just hustling dope and coke to maintain my habits, and during the coldest nights of the year I was trying to get into detox and got arrested shooting dope and coke in the hospital bathroom. This was two January's ago. Then a couple nights later I got held hostage and stripped naked and beat up by some LK's in my area and they took my phone cause they thought they were gonna Rob me and take my dope, little do they know I just middle shit/run shit for my people. Anyways I was beat down, tired, sick of it all so I went to the court and asked to go to MATC (I had it written on a piece of paper I could barely talk I was so dopesick from. Not having my phone to hustle). I went there for 60 days, and then went on to further treatment, and did the halfway house, sober house thing for. About a year. Now I have a car, good job, some safety, and comfortablity in my life. A couple good friends, stuff I really needed I wasn't getting when all I was doing was using. Its really hard in the beginning, you have to totally retrain your brain, sometimes to just chill and not DO anything, I learned to take naps and sleep when the stress gets too much or I'm thinking about using too much. Anyways good luck to you bro much love, I've checked your reviews of the Holyoke dope on here a couple times to decide what to buy lol! ( I relapsed after two years, but I kept my jobs, car, I just got on methadone and only use once in a while). Hit me up if you ever wanna talk. Peace
 
Hey Shaman!! Great to hear (read) from you...Yeah it's been pretty rough the last week or so but from what you told me what I'm going through is a cake walk compared to what you went through. I always had it in my head to get my own business going so I could get a free get-high but also that this is a cutthroat business...you don't want to step on anyone's toes as far as custies goes and some other asshole thinks your stealing custies so they come after you and of course there's the junkies themselves. Some will expect credit at some point or always coming short so you have to deal with that; deny them what they want and then you have to worry about one of them getting popped and dropping your name just to get a deal...yada yada....it's just not worth it to me anyways...I've been pretty lucky or maybe it's cause I'm careful but my record is minimal at best...Posession charge back in '97 and other than that receiving stolen property...so I would like to keep it like this if I can help it. Been seriously considering going back on the methadone again (for like the fourth time) but at least I did well the last time was even getting take-homes til I screwed up and got high and got screened like two day later...man I was sooo pissed at myself; I was about to get 13 bottles so I would only have to go once every two weeks...well that's the way it goes u know. So yeah I just might start calling to get an intake done...sucks cause it's way across town and I have to take two buses down and two back. But I guess it's worth it if it sets me on the recovery road and I can try to get this depression, anxiety and any other conditions that I may have and not know it haha...So thanks for your comments and I'll definitely check in and let you know what's going on...Peace my brother...RaZ
 
Does anyone know anything about the process in which the ibew local 103 in Boston does drug testing? Hair folacle? Mouth swab? Urine? I?m on suboxone an I guesss you cannot get in on it even though I am prescribed. Thanks!!
 
Also if you guys get a chance check out my two section 35 threads an put your two cents in. There?s an article stating how 10 guys who were sectioned are now suing. Pretty interesting. I was sectioned go Bridgewater a couple years ago at 19. It was pretty rough. Saw a lot of fights. Actually saw this kid get smashed with a toilet seat. Dude was leakin lol more fights than the whole year I spent in Plymouth lol
 
Hey Km howz it goin?? It's pretty hard to try and guess which procedure the ibew would use so my opinion is to try and get off the subs since no matter which system they use you're pinched especially if they use the hair follicle one...with that one they could tell if you used like a month or two ago I heard. all the others only tell them if you used recently...It's tough man, and usually you really shouldn't ask questions like that here cause you might get a warning just so you know. When I used to try and get a real job it's always better to just get clean before you even start the whole thing. I remember drinking vinegar when I knew I was going to be tested...oh brother that totally fuckin sucked...but after all that (even though my urine was clear as water the nurse gave me this look like really?) and miraculously they put it down as I passed. Just not worth all the shit...better to just stop using right after you submit the resume or application so you have ample time to detox yourself cause all the different ways to try and beat the screens are sometimes useless. Good luck my friend...RaZ
 
Just dropping in to say whattup... I haven’t posted on here in ages, because I’ve been staying clean for the most part. Right now I’ve been off bupe for almost 2 weeks and the cravings are starting to get to me. So like any good junkie, I’m just sitting here living vicariously through you fine folks.
 
6FeetUnder said:
Just dropping in to say whattup... I haven?t posted on here in ages, because I?ve been staying clean for the most part. Right now I?ve been off bupe for almost 2 weeks and the cravings are starting to get to me. So like any good junkie, I?m just sitting here living vicariously through you fine folks.
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If you are a good junkie you wouldn't be sittin here typing this; you would be out there hustling to get the next fix, haha...just kidding bro (or sis) can't tell by your screen name...anyways yeah I'm supposed to be on subs but really rather do dope than subs...just not the same, I don't like them but hey they come in handy when there's nothing else. So you a newbie cause I haven't seen you posting before or you changed screen names?
 
Superman 1s and exits 3s best thing out rn for me. I got a great batch of exit 3s yesterday but sometimes they aren't quite as good same for Superman 1s. I got one guy who's stuff isn't quite as good as another's, sane stamp. They did have fake(ish) Superman's around no #1 below the "Superman" I say ish bc it was dope, and not bad, but half as good as the real regular ones, same dealer too... ? Gotta watch out for small shit like that, other than that I stopped doing coke totally and am MUCH happier. I also stopped shooting, totally. Got my tolerence down to like 5-20 bags a day, which is cool considering I was doing 10 a shot 5 shots a damn day! Best of luck to all! Happy hunting.
 
I'm doing my thing getting a 1 and 1 for a speedball once a week out here in Lynn. On the methadone clinic. No probation. Steady place to live. Have a car every day till 2. Just had a job interview for the encore Boston casino yesterday.
 
RaZkaL86 said:
If you are a good junkie you wouldn't be sittin here typing this; you would be out there hustling to get the next fix, haha...just kidding bro (or sis) can't tell by your screen name...anyways yeah I'm supposed to be on subs but really rather do dope than subs...just not the same, I don't like them but hey they come in handy when there's nothing else. So you a newbie cause I haven't seen you posting before or you changed screen names?
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Oh shit, good call- okay, so I guess I’m a junkie who’s trying to be good by resisting temptation. And yeah, I am a bro, haha. I think everybody would rather do dope than subs- I was on methadone for a few years and then when I got fed up with the clinic’s bullshit I used subs to get off the done. It’s amazing how the craving comes right back once you get off MAT: I had to go 3 days in methadone w/ds before starting subs, and ended up finding a stash of oxys from surgery I’d had last year. I had to IV a ton of them just to feel a little bit of a rush, because even though I was in w/ds my tolerance was still pretty high.

Now that I’ve been totally clean for a couple weeks, I’m realizing my tolerance is probably much lower, and keep finding myself thinking about what a “welcome back” hit would feel like, haha. I told my therapist that one of the things keeping me clean is I don’t have any connects anymore, and he literally looked at the clock and was like “it’s 2:30, I bet you could find H by 6 o’clock.” He must have seen the look in my eye, ‘cause then he was like “I’m not giving you a challenge! I mean if an addict wants to get high they will.” Too late doc, now it’s in my dumb junkie head to see how long cold copping would take me, haha.

I’m not really a newbie, I just haven’t posted on here in a few years. I think I originally signed up because I’d moved back to Mass from Brooklyn, and didn’t know anybody up here. I made some friends, but after awhile started methadone and quit hustling. So yeah, now I’m off MAT, and not sure how long it’ll be before I start the game all over again. I’m having another surgery in a couple weeks, I’m excited/hoping to actually be able to get off on 10 mgs of oxys, like the old days when I was just a wee little pill-popping punk.
 
It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's "superman" with a "1" below it. Continues to be good and serves it purpose. "Methadone" coming in a close #2. Hope everyone had a great weekend.
 
Mines been going good. Just got my amp refill, have some extra cash and benzos. Did a ton of dope from a new guy yesterday and the day before. His bags are big, he's convenient, and I can usually come a few bucks short with no issue.
 
Effect said:
I'm doing my thing getting a 1 and 1 for a speedball once a week out here in Lynn. On the methadone clinic. No probation. Steady place to live. Have a car every day till 2. Just had a job interview for the encore Boston casino yesterday.
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How'd the interview go?

Anyone notice Tina flooding the streets all of a sudden?
 
madness00 said:
How'd the interview go?

Anyone notice Tina flooding the streets all of a sudden?
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Interview was OK, but it was kind of an ambush because the interview happened at something that was advertised as a job fair and I've been to those before and usually they just tell you about the availability of positions and tell you how to apply.

Thanks for asking though, but I'm not worried as other opportunities have come up too.

Any funny you mention tina because I was down on the Mile 2 days looking for benzos and ran into an old friend of mine who offered me a little of it for a ride to a spot in Dorchester and I took him up on it. I had already done amp the day before so it was a little underwhelming, but yes I've noticed it much more over the past year or so, especially recently.
 
Yeah i live 2 blocks north of the mile and work at the home depot in South Bay, so almost every day i walk down there.

So you're in Lynn, Lynn, the city of sin? I was at Bayridge once.
 
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madness00 said:
Yeah i live 2 blocks north of the mile and work at the home depot in South Bay, so almost every day i walk down there.

So you're in Lynn, Lynn, the city of sin? I was at Bayridge once.
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That hilarious you work at the home depot. I'm sure we've passed each other before. And I'm actually technically in Saugus, but I can throw a rock to Lynn so I just figure it's a city more people know so I put it there in my profile a while back.

Bayridge was my first detox back in 2011. I went there one other time, but now it's all heavy dual diagnosis with a referral from a medical professional to get in. At least that's how it was when I tried to get in 2014. Now if I ever needed a detox I'd just hit the Andrew House at the Shattuck. Always seems to be room there. And they have a good protocol.

I'm actually heading on down to the Mile in the next 15-30 mins to test the benzo market.
 
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