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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth

Ibogaine (flood dose) - First Time - Into The Flood

Wow, what a trip! I read the majority of it, still got a quarter or so to go. I've stopped where you appeared to be coming down somewhat.
I love that section where you were first happy to, later forced to fill a glass jar with treasure. What a beautiful parallel to what life on opiates is like, hey? What starts out a privilege ends up a ball and chain. This, I feel, is your subconscious rationalisation of this.

I also loved the section where you were cleaning your cooker to the cheers of the crowd. Reminded me SO much of once when I stupidly dosed 75mg of 5-MEO-AMT along with a MAOI. Yes, you read that correctly, 75mg, 5-meo-Amt. I was THAT stupid. The reason being, the tiny doses didn't do anything, so I thought 'fuck it' and drank the whole vial. Anyway, in my crazed state (whatever state I was in was far beyond tripping, I wasn't in control and remember little) at one point I thought I had thousands of people cheering everything I did. It was as if I was leading a legion of screaming fans around my house, and could command them to do whatever I so pleased. Eventually I woke up to find id trashed my house, punched out all my mirrors and all sorts of strange other stuff. Good times, but that's another story..

A question. All I've read of iboga trips seem to centralise on experiencing pain you've inflicted from the perspective of the person or thing you inflicted it upon. Did you experience anything like that?

As an addict, and more so as an unashamed psychonaut, I'm very interested in this compound.
 
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Damn 75mg of 5-MeO-AMT with an MAOI? You're lucky to be alive! 8o

Anyway, yeah the "collecting" dream was the most impactful one, also it seemed to go on for day after grueling day.

FYI, there's quite a bit more after coming down, actually I took a follow-up lower dose on day 6 which was incredible (more dreams but more cohesive ones).

I seemed to experience a rather unusual iboga trip... I don't know if it was just that particular one (since I've only taken it the once), or if it's my brain, or what. I had no conscious oversight of my experience, it was precisely like dreaming vividly but not lucidly. I wasn't reviewing my life and such. I think it's at least partly down to the way my brain works, which is maybe differently from most people. Also, the reason I had been in such a bad place was because I had BEEN hurt, I wasn't doing the hurting. I had beaten myself up more than enough already. I don't think I needed to review my life or anything, what I needed was a chemical reset and a deeply subconscious restructuring, which was what I got. It worked amazingly for the purposes of opiate addiction. I didn't quit doing drugs afterwards but after the dust cleared I did quit doing opiates and haven't had the desire for them again (over 2 years since then). I still greatly enjoy psychedelics and dissociatives and weed and alcohol, mostly in moderation. I go overboard sometimes and tax myself a bit, but I seem to have this level of conscious oversight over myself since iboga that is more present than it used to be, not just with drug use but with everything, particularly my ability to consider how I should actually behave when I feel something, rather than just reacting to an emotion before thinking.

I may do a flood dose again one day. I'm sure I won't have to do it for drugs, but if I get to another place where I feel stuck in a rut I may go for it. Or maybe even if not, just to experience it again. I would love to take lower but full doses of iboga periodically because it's such a powerful visionary tool.
 
Xorkoth said:
Damn 75mg of 5-MeO-AMT with an MAOI? You're lucky to be alive! 8o

Anyway, yeah the "collecting" dream was the most impactful one, also it seemed to go on for day after grueling day.

FYI, there's quite a bit more after coming down, actually I took a follow-up lower dose on day 6 which was incredible (more dreams but more cohesive ones).

I seemed to experience a rather unusual iboga trip... I don't know if it was just that particular one (since I've only taken it the once), or if it's my brain, or what. I had no conscious oversight of my experience, it was precisely like dreaming vividly but not lucidly. I wasn't reviewing my life and such. I think it's at least partly down to the way my brain works, which is maybe differently from most people. Also, the reason I had been in such a bad place was because I had BEEN hurt, I wasn't doing the hurting. I had beaten myself up more than enough already. I don't think I needed to review my life or anything, what I needed was a chemical reset and a deeply subconscious restructuring, which was what I got. It worked amazingly for the purposes of opiate addiction. I didn't quit doing drugs afterwards but after the dust cleared I did quit doing opiates and haven't had the desire for them again (over 2 years since then). I still greatly enjoy psychedelics and dissociatives and weed and alcohol, mostly in moderation. I go overboard sometimes and tax myself a bit, but I seem to have this level of conscious oversight over myself since iboga that is more present than it used to be, not just with drug use but with everything, particularly my ability to consider how I should actually behave when I feel something, rather than just reacting to an emotion before thinking.

I may do a flood dose again one day. I'm sure I won't have to do it for drugs, but if I get to another place where I feel stuck in a rut I may go for it. Or maybe even if not, just to experience it again. I would love to take lower but full doses of iboga periodically because it's such a powerful visionary tool.
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Yeah, the 5-MEO-AMT stunt ranks second in my top 3 most dumb things I've ever done, I do not recommend it. Number one is the train wreck I wrote up as a trip report yesterday. I consider myself a relatively sensible individual, but NOT when it comes to drug abuse.

You raise an interesting point, if you've not really wronged others then it's impossible for that to influence your trip.

I've got to try this out some day, probably not at as high a jump point as you attempted here. I feel I need to get to know the inner workings of my brain better. People claim lsd etc can do this, but it's my belief that those drugs just create the impression of mine expansion. This sounds like the real deal.

I'll deffo read the rest of your story this evening, it's as long as a small book so needs to be broken down into bite sized chunks! :D
 
Wow, this was a very in depth trip report. I read the whole thing and enjoyed every minute of it. I have recently become very interested in Iboga after having a very vivid dream about being in Africa picking the fruits off of one of the iboga trees. Before this dream I really had no idea what Iboga was at all or where it originated from, so I just basically shrugged it off as a weird dream about a plant and basically forgot about it. I later ended up reading about it in a book about the different shamanistic cultures of the world. The dream instantly came back into my memory, and that's when I realized the plant must be calling to me (I've heard of people having this same sort of experience except with Ayahuasca). So I decided that I plan on saving up some money, preparing myself, and then going and staying at a good Iboga retreat for a week. I'm not currently addicting to any substances, but I figure it will still be a very spiritually beneficial experience for me. And I can use this opportunity to heal myself of the negative emotional energy that currently has me consumed. In your opinion is that a good reason to be doing Iboga?
 
Hello, yes I think that's a perfectly good reason to use iboga. I've only done it this one time that the report is about, but it seems like a true healer. I can't emphasize enough how much it changed my life, and it wasn't just the opiates. The opiates were just the most serious symptom of a negative/sick way I had let my mind get. I found the experience deeply transformative on every level. My life is basically entirely different than it was before I took a flood dose. My experience was pretty different compared to most of what I read about people's experiences. I am going to strongly recommend to you that you get the total alkaloid spectrum of the iboga plant, and not just pure ibogaine HCl. I did that with the HCl and TA extract blend. The other alkaloids are part of the plant and I am pretty certain they contribute to the full experience. You should ask whatever retreat you plan to go to about this and see if it's an option. And do good homework on the places you are considering, because some of them are going to be a lot better than others.

I was just coming out of a really dark place when I took ibogaine, I had already healed a little from it but my life was in a shambles in many ways. So I think that was part of why my experience was so dramatic. But it really had a profound wakening effect on me, I have just felt much more in touch with myself and aware of myself since then.
 
You weren't kidding when you said this might be the longest trip report ever written! This was massively impressive. I've only recently started reading/writing trip reports more earnestly, so I'm proud that this is one of the few multi-page trip reports I've read- and I loved every paragraph of it. (I've been reading it here and there throughout the past few days, primarily at work...I'm never still for extended periods of time.) I'm blown away that you were able to remember everything in such vivid detail. Your intelligence is surely a factor, but it also makes me wonder about iboga's effects on memory. I can't imagine there's much scientific research on that yet, or on iboga at all, but there should be. Anywho, this one hit me close to home because someone very dear to me is a poly drug-addict who also struggles with opiates (poppy seeds though...I've never known someone so affected by kratom. it doesn't do much for me except when I have a migraine.). As I worry about him almost constantly, even in my dreams, this trip report was very a comforting and promising read. I know he knows about iboga, in fact it's possible he's even read this trip report. I don't know if it's something he will ever pursue, or should- but regardless, it's good to know there's powerful magic like this in some corners of the world. I'm sure he'll figure his shit out one day. Sounds like you are. I'm glad you're recovering so well and I hope it continues.
 
Hey, thanks. :) I put a ton of time into this, probably 4-5 hours a day for 3 weeks. I was just staying home, working, exercising and going to sleep early for a while afterwards, and I wanted to get it all out fresh while I was still feeling the afterglow. I'm surprised I could remember it all too, but it was super impactful. I started jotting down notes in the 4th day (which is in this report) and just jotted notes down as I went back over and over the experience in my mind. I also tried to review what I had just experienced during the flood, in moments where I wasn't dreaming.

I actually had been on poppy seeds for 3 years when I took ibogaine, it was 7 years of kratom before that but the kratom was about as bad for me, it's more about the pattern and the inability to stop. I had some kratom that I bought to hold me over a couple of times in the week leading up to it when I stopped using poppy tea which is the only reason I had any then. But yeah, I haven't had more than a passing craving for an opiate since then, and by that I mean, a few times I've been like, that would be nice now, and then immediately my thought is, no it wouldn't, and I go about my day.

I'm far from sober, I love to trip still, I enjoy stimulants and even tend to abuse them when I have them, I drink a good bit of alcohol, and I smoke cigarettes. I actually was taking phenibut for a long time since then, every 3 days, which produced a bit of physical dependence and I recently stopped taking that, and today is the first day I feel totally past it. I'm now working on having a little more willpower towards drinking, and not do it as often or get as drunk, and also quitting tobacco. I've slacked in the working out too, but starting slow back in on that. I still have a compulsive personality, I always have. As a kid I got super into video games and formed an addiction to them, for example. I started playing music again and it's an obsession for me, but that part of my nature allows me to become really good at things and when it's applied to something like music, then it becomes a good thing. So drugs, also being something I'm passionate about, take some self-monitoring. I realized recently that I've been falling into some negative behaviors, and I'm working on it now that I identified what they are. I understand that I have control over my actions, even with drugs.

My life is going great though, I've got a lot to be thankful for and most days are really good ones. :) I've been with a new woman for going on 3 years now and she's amazing, I've got a band and we're about to release our first EP, and great friends who are my family, and good financial security. I definitely thank ibogaine in large part for that because it was able to interrupt my negative patterns in life (not just with regards to opiates) so massively that I could change my course and start fresh.
 
Wow, that's fantastic! Thanks for the update...you're really on top of these posts! I'm glad to hear that you're doing so well, man. Only after reading the whole trip report did I realize it was from 6 years ago, haha. So it's nice to get to instantly jump forward and see how you're doing now. Having such a deep understanding of substances is, not to be cliche, but sort of a blessing and a curse for you it seems. It's really a shame more people don't have access to Iboga in the US, but then again, most people would not handle it well or use it properly.
I definitely understand the compulsive personality thing, although I'm not compulsive to quite that degree. In my case I have very deep, pervasive, sometimes debilitating nihilism. I smoke far too many cigarettes, I get drunk too often, I spend too much money. I'm fairly active, but only because it's fun. Sure I'm a responsible-enough adult, but I have a lot of trouble taking good care of myself- no matter how much I tell myself I could make my life better. Tripping, of course, only reinforces my nihilism, but it helps in many other ways. I can definitely relate to being addicted to altering my consciousness. I guess I'm not complaining though, there are benefits to my nihilistic mindset. Stuff doesn't get to me too often.
Anyway, I got off track. I'm glad you've found someone new, and that you're doing so well! I wish you all the best. :)
 
I just re-read this, I guess it's been a year and a half almost since I last posted in here with an update, and maybe 2 years since I read this. It was cool to sort of re-live it. :)

Well, I still am opiate-free and don't struggle with that. It's been over 4 and a half years since the trip so that's really significant to me. I certainly don't feel any remnants of the iboga energy anymore, nor have I for a long time. Life has been difficult lately, I've been dealing with my dad dying a long, slow death from ALS, and a nasty divorce from my ex that I wrote about in this report that has brought up a lot of bad feelings (turns out she's crazier than I thought and she's being horrible to me and trying to screw me over in all sorts of ways after I bent over backwards to try to meet her needs, including letting the divorce be delayed by 4 and a half years). I used too many GABAergics for quite a while, and stimulants, to deal with these things. Recently I've gotten a handle on myself, mostly. I managed to cop a physical dependence to GHB over the summer, which I used phenibut to get off, and I'm tapering down phenibut now. I certainly have poly-drug addictive tendencies still and it has gotten worse and now better in recent times. I did quit all forms of tobacco a while ago which I feel really good about. I haven't let anything get really out of control but I've been working at improving myself. My intention is to use only psychedelics and marijuana going forward as those are the only drugs that bring good into my life and that I do not abuse. It's been a hard year but at the core I am happy and fulfilled. Still playing music, and I've been with the girl I mentioned I was casually dating for a little over 4 years and she's wonderful, we live together now and I am very much in love with her, and miraculously we have never gotten in a fight this whole time. I have been finding it difficult to keep up working out but I am still doing it, just not nearly as much.

Life has thrown a lot at me but I still feel confident in myself that I can deal with everything. I am considering another flood dose or at least a strong dose of iboga once all the dust settles in maybe 6 months to a year. It was such a powerfully life affirming and healthy thing for me last time, I can see it being very useful to sort of realign myself after all this trauma.
 
Thank you immensely for this post. I've been trying to figure out how to quit for a long time now. For instance I tried using amp to replace dopamine, tripping until the pain stopped, anti-psyches because I heard they work with some people, ghastly amounts of nootropic stacks, completely cold turkey and half turkey but the best thing that /ever/ worked for me was MXE. Until it got globa-banned I could just swap over to MXE, no W/D, no MXE addiction (ofc) and most importantly absolutely no desire to return...until a new analogue came out or I found a gem (like Fu-F!)).

Anyway I just wanted to say that currently I'm in almost the exact same situation you were in (it's actually a bit spooky!). I've just turned 31, 10yrs use, done every drug under the sun (in fact that's how I started using; I wanted to try only the very best opioids (like Ketobemidone, Dipipanone, Oxymorphone, Desomorphine etc etc) and you can figure out the rest!
Of course I always had Iboga on the back burner but until now, I'd completely forgotten about it, plus I never got to the point where it had to be done...until now. Plus I'm not a massive fan of delerients but if it helped me quit I'd drink sheep's piss!!

So I took 8 basic rules from this, added a couple of my own (personal preferences but if anyone needs; I'll post them), found a site (that will get here within a couple of days, thank god!), /thought/ of a couple of sitters but haven't asked them yet (I found this post less than an hour ago and it's 5am!) but most importantly I am completely sick to death of this day to day struggle and desperately want to start my life again. I have a million and one things I want to do and none of them involve opiates.

So; fuck the Sick-Boy method, start the Xorkorth method.

Also I have to say, these days not many people speak the Queen's and it irritates me highly so thank you for catering to my, albeit antiquated views and I'll post again in a few weeks with my version.

Wish me luck!

PS: Thank you so much for giving me the freedom to use other drugs on Ibo; not that I will, except maybe a bit of weed and whiskey, but just that barrier across Ibo always turned me off it (I was a heavy poly-user pre opis, hence).
 
I printed this trip report out years ago and read it a couple of times. It's a beautiful and fascinating piece of writing. I am jealous of the iboga experience, because I know I will never do anything like that again. My muscimol days are behind me. My DMT days are behind me. It's nice to relive those days vicariously through reports such as these.

I'm glad it worked for you, Xorkoth, in terms of the opiates. Does Iboga specifically only treat opiate addiction? It seems like most people I know who have a flood dose kick the opiates but then tend to have ongoing problems with other drugs?

I'm not sure if it's the longest TR ever written. Huxley's The Doors of Perception is longer, I think... and my Junk Mail reports are longer - but they consist of many reports squashed together. A lot of it hasn't been published on BL. I'm still writing it. It's hundreds of thousands of words now. I should probably stop at some point.
 
That was the case for me. It kicked me right out of opiate addiction and also broke my sugar addiction completely and got me working out and taking care of myself. It also broke me of any negative patterns of drug use for a while. Then I started to slide into problematic drinking and stimulant use gradually, though I kept oversight of myself much better than I did.

However I experienced a series of very difficult life events (the sickness and loss of my father coupled with a really painful divorce from my ex I mentioned in this report, after 5 years of separation, where she fucked me over hard after I had already forgiven her and moved on). At that point my addiction issues really kicked back in and I also relapsed on opiates and have struggled with opiates since then, unfortunately. It did give me a long reprieve from my drug issues which helped me to grow a lot as a person and get into a much better place in life. It also seemed to permanently alter my dream architecture.

Just realized I never updated this thread since I relapsed on opiates. That was in late 2019, the very end of 2019 in fact. Since then, I have really struggled, I also had a brief but intense addiction to GHB at the beginning of covid lockdown which culminated in waking up in an ambulance. Sad to say I've had the opiate brain bug since I relapsed, I quit and relapsed a few times. Currently I'm on a low dose of suboxone and planning to wean down after the holidays. Feels more stable than I have in a while, but not looking forward to that.

I wish I could still say I never touched opiates again. I got cavalier about it and really believed I was cured forever and let my guard down.

In happier news though, I recently found out that someone, unbeknownst to me, illustrated and put together a "book" of this report. I was kind of upset at first but I contacted them and they had tried to contact me through Erowid to ask for my permission, but I didn't use a real email there. They printed 50 copies with no plans to print more and sent me one, and I have it on my bookshelf and it tickles me to see. :)

Anyway, yeah, ibogaine has action at the opioid receptors and blocks withdrawal during a flood dose, and it seems to work particularly well against opiate addiction. But it also seems to have a general positive effect in terms of subconsciously self-defeating patterns. In my experience. But it's no magic bullet. I was able to garner a lasting positive change because I was primed for it, my life having recently changed dramatically already. I also put in a lot of work right afterwards.
 
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birdup said:
I printed this trip report out years ago and read it a couple of times. It's a beautiful and fascinating piece of writing. I am jealous of the iboga experience, because I know I will never do anything like that again. My muscimol days are behind me. My DMT days are behind me. It's nice to relive those days vicariously through reports such as these.

I'm glad it worked for you, Xorkoth, in terms of the opiates. Does Iboga specifically only treat opiate addiction? It seems like most people I know who have a flood dose kick the opiates but then tend to have ongoing problems with other drugs?

I'm not sure if it's the longest TR ever written. Huxley's The Doors of Perception is longer, I think... and my Junk Mail reports are longer - but they consist of many reports squashed together. A lot of it hasn't been published on BL. I'm still writing it. It's hundreds of thousands of words now. I should probably stop at some point.
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Please, please PM me when this is finished; it sounds fascinating. Ibogaine is possibly the most neglected compound in which I've done research for so this will be extremely useful, especially as I'm thinking of going down this route soon.

EDIT: Also Xorkorth; could you link me to your book, I'll have a search for it but due to you mod status it could be tricky. I haven't really looked for it yet though so if I find it I'll edit this!
 
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There is a lot of advice in there for how to prepare. Make SURE to have a sitter for a good solid 3 days (some people seem to come out of it faster but it took 3 FULL days for me to be able to remotely function on my own, even though on the ;last day I believed I was functioning fine). Prepare with your diet as well, and come as much off of it as you can. Taper down and if possible, switch to kratom or something. The closer you are to being past withdrawals, the better chance of success you'll have. Be prepared with a follow-up dose for 6-7 days later, you may or may not need it. I did. Lastly, afterwards be prepared to take proactive action to make changes in your life. Ibogaine gave me a fantastic boost in the right direction but if I hadn't worked to better myself directly afterwards I'm sure I would have slipped back rather quickly. In my case, my bad relationship was causing me huge amount of pain and I got out of it finally before I did ibogaine so I was primed for change. And I started working out afterwards which transformed so much about my life and made my recovery much better and helped my opiate system to heal much faster.

Don't view it as a silver bullet, or a magical cure. Instead, view it as a very powerful tool to help you make changes to your life.
 
I find this fascinating and terrifying. I have to read the "manual" no doubt. To use this is more scary than death to me for some reason. I find my outlook on the subject a little unsettling and reasons remain unlabled. I hope to never have to flood so maybe this will be another brick-in-the-wall that saves me from myself.
Grateful
 
It was an epic experience, it changed my life for the better. I was absolutely terrified going in but although the transition back was a little rough (due to being unsupervised and confused), I didn't find the actual experience scary at all. It was just like dreaming, well really it WAS dreaming, for 3 days straight. I almost never find dreams scary, even when the subject matter is intense, and just like dreams, I was not present enough to realize I was dreaming so I just accepted it as my reality.
 
Wowie zingity zowie thats a banger of a report 😂

Such visionary detail and clarity / recall, I’m very impressed!

Iboga would probably put my Ass in cardiac arrest but hey, maybe a good deathbed trip? Thanks for taking the time to get this one down
 
Thanks. :) I spent the 3 weeks post-trip writing it, in the midst of the aftereffects. I started taking notes on paper around day 4 or 5 so I would have memory hooks. It was a pretty huge undertaking to write it all down but I knew I would be glad I did.
 
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