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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth

Ibogaine (flood dose) - First Time - Into The Flood

Wow, that is interesting that you've been to the same place. I really enjoyed it. :)

And I'm actually not mentally exhausted at all, there was a period of time where I was but I feel invigorated. :)
 
I just finished reading this~ Absolutely perfect timing too, exactly the right amount of time for me to wake up, immediately start reading, shower, type this response, and head into work, heh. That was a fascinating read and sounds like an incredible journey, and does give me a much fuller idea of the ibogaine experience than anything I've read before.... I had a pretty solid visualization of (at least what I took to be from your writing) your trip from start to finish. Really good stuff!! I'm really glad that you're feeling better too, even after that little rough patch. <3 I sincerely hope that life just continues to get better and better for you. :D I felt better about the future even just from reading this.

Worth the wait, hehe. You weren't kidding when you said it was long!!
 
:) That's awesome feedback, thanks! I'm glad it affected you. And yeah it's so long, I didn't even think it would be a third as long as this. But as I wrote it just kept growing and growing, it became a serious chore at the end (especially since I saved the parts I cared the least about writing for the end), but more than worth it. It feels like an accomplishment to get it all out in such a format.
 
Haha, I believe it. Another reason I like to write trip reports as soon as I can is because I know that the longer it takes me to get it all down the lazier about it I'll get, but obviously one like this is sort of self-limiting in that way. :p I'm glad you took the effort, though!
 
Yeah I felt an urgent need to finish it for that reason. I've actually had a few amazing trips that I got lazy about and never wrote up and now I barely even remember what happened. I don't think that would have happened with this one but eventually the immediacy and the inspiration would have faded. So it was loads of work but I'm really glad I did it when I did.

Okay.... Time to get on a plane and go to the Grand Canyon :). It's so great hanging out with family clean, they totally notice the difference in me big time.
 
What's great about being an insomniac is it's easy to take 3 hours out of your morning to read random posts on Bluelight. Glad I didn't miss this one. ;) Easily the most thorough, well-written, honest trip report I've ever read, and certainly my favourite thus far. More useful subjective information about ibogaine can be pulled from this thread alone than nearly everywhere else on the web combined, I have no doubt about that. You've really outdone yourself here, Xorkoth. Congratulations, and I hope you keep up the proper diet and exercise, find someone you love, and live the happy, fulfilling life you've been hoping for. You deserve it, mate.

A few minor typos here and there (incorruptible rather than uncorruptible, for example), but nothing a simple spellcheck in MS Word can't sort out. Aside from that, which shouldn't take more than 5 minutes or so, I'd say it's ready for publication, no problem.
 
Thanks so much :). I have made a few re-reads for proof reading but I'm in the middle of my final one. There's so much there, I keep missing something each time.

I'm writing this from a van with my family, driving to Sedona for lunch and then the Grand Canyon for the next 2 days. So excited! I never thought I would feel this way about life again just 6 months ago. I hope my story can be a lesson to people that life is always changing and you can always realign it and grow.
 
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You've always been an inspiration and a great resource! I usually check your trip reports when I'm deciding on dosages for trying new synthetics. Much love Xorkoth, keep on keepin on!
 
Glad I stopped back. Thanks for the write up Xorkoth. Reads like a modern day parable, and that's a great thing! Lots to digest when it comes to life and ibogaine. Someday I will give it a whirl. It's nice to see others with experience write about it. Thanks again.
 
I was looking forward to this. :)

Possibly the single best trip report I've ever read (certainly the longest!). Congratulations on getting clean, and good energy towards your future.
 
Congratulations...I hope your positivity continues to shine. Your trip through your soul was amazing to read about ... I read the whole thing top to bottom and was blown away. Thanks for Sharing!
 
I read the whole thing, which is a likely testament to how good the report was.

ebola
 
Thanks everyone, so glad it was worth the effort to write. It's likely the most inspired I have ever been to write and as I re-read it, I'm as close to 100% pleased as I've probably ever been about something I've written.
 
i too read the whole thing. thankyou for sharing xorky <3

at times i felt exhausted with the madness by simply recounting what you encountered (i cant imagine the toll it took on you mentally and physically at times).

the outcome is testament to the journey and made for an awesome ending.

...kytnism...:|
 
kytnism said:
i too read the whole thing. thankyou for sharing xorky <3

at times i felt exhausted with the madness by simply recounting what you encountered (i cant imagine the toll it took on you mentally and physically at times).

the outcome is testament to the journey and made for an awesome ending.

...kytnism...:|
Click to expand...

Yes, at times it was utterly tedious and exhausting, though always in a dream way, that is, when I awoke the impact was only in memory. I feel like the visions showed me the madness in my life and made me face it.
 
I'm sick with a cold and throat bacteria and opiates are not on my mind as an option. :) Even though it sucks ass :p
 
Well I just realized it's been a bit over a month and I said I'd update here, so...

Doing well. I have spent the last 2 weeks with my family, part of the time on vacation to the Grand Canyon/Zion/Vegas, and part at home. I officially now feel fine, no lingering withdrawals or PAWS. My dreams have been really intense, but I haven't been writing them down... I really should start doing that. I had two dreams that threw me a bit, but only very temporarily. The first one was a dream where I was chipping opiates again, and I felt all of the shame and fear resulting from that. But when I woke up I just shook my head, it didn't make me crave actually doing that, if anything it made me want to even less (though no part of me wanted to anyway). The other dream was one where my ex and I had bought this old fixer-upper house and she and I and her mom were working on it, trying to get it nice, and we were doing a good job. Then my ex told me she did in fact want to have kids after all (not that that was our only issue of course) and we got back together. That one really did make me sad when I woke up, and a bit confused, because I was so happy about it in the dream... it felt so right. A very bittersweet dream.

I got sick recently and I am recovering (cold/bacterial throat thing), plus on vacation with my family we don't eat well, so I have let the working out slack some, plus I discovered I was causing myself some serious back pain with the working out. On Sunday I will get back home and I am really looking forward to getting back into my routine. I am going to have a personal trainer help me out to show me the best way to strengthen my core without hurting my back. I get 3 free PT sessions for joining the Y so I am going to use one for this, and then after a while use another to update my workout. I can REALLY feel the difference that eating out all the time is making, but we keep going to really good places and I can't just order some vegetables or something, I guess it's vacation mentality. :D
 
I'll add, actually, that I read the report in one sitting. ;)

ebola
 
I just skimmed it because I could never read all that, but was the occult sacrificial shit real, or only in your head while tripping?
This whole report seems insane in every aspect of the word...

' Making record time, I grab another paper towel to finish the task. Sweat beads my brow but my adrenaline is coursing powerfully. I'm gonna to do it! I'm gonna Clean That Stove!! '

:)
 
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