Monkey on my back...

That was completely and utterly absorbing.
The style of the narrative suited the tale perfectly, and made it an interesting read. Actually, interesting is not a strong enough word.
I was sucked inside the story and completely unable to even look up until I had finished the whole thing.
 
Psychologist Stanton Peele skewers several vital organs of the disease model in his 1989 screed, The Diseasing of America: Addiction Treatment Out of Control. Intent on assailing the practice of remanding to twelve-step programs and profit-driven treatment centers everyone who is nabbed Driving While Impaired or who has flunked a piss test, though, Peele fails to acknowledge adequately the flaming insanity of hard-core, terminal addiction. "Insane" may be the only diagnosis for those so obsessed with getting off they compulsively court death and disaster every day, in every way. In so far as it is chronic, progressive, and fatal, yeah, addiction sure looks, walks, quacks and squats like a morbid illness.
Amen... when the f will people get off that "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, addiction is a CHOICE" crap and realize that THE BRAIN IS AN F'ING ORGAN AND IT CAN BECOME ILL LIKE ALL THE REST.

It seems only end-stage addicts realize what the OP has... and NA is clearly geared toward them, in my experience. I have changed my mind completely about NA over the past 6 months (altho I still don't go, hahah).
 
I am left with out words.... Thank you. This has to be the an epic of life theat is comparable to On the Road. Thank you. You should really write as often as possible.. Thank you again.
 
"I surrender to a life of living with reality, that final frontier"


genius
 
Last edited:
Yeah that's spot on mate. Makes me think about like, about all the money I've shot into my arm, and all the old heads that dropped out of the scene or worse just dropped dead. Ugh.. kinda makes me feel a bit dirty inside too... I know the 'why eat/sleep/wash/socialize' mentality far too well..
 
I have lived a life of a junkie for 10+ years and I can relate to most of this post. I am grateful that the methadone works for me . Tooo will some times as I'd like to get a buzz but maybe that would be inviting king kong back on my back. Sure gave me something to think about.

Delmoss
 
cure

"Where is the cave where the wise woman went/And tell me where is all the money that I spent?/I propose a toast to my self-control/See it crawling helpless on the floor/Someday there'll be a cure for pain/And that's the day I throw my drugs away"--Morphine, "Cure for Pain,"

dude....i wish i could say there will be a cure....i have pain without drugs....you have pain because of the lack of drugs....what's the difference? there is none.....i have always coveted that quote from morphine, so when i saw your post, i was smitten ; )
 
just wow!
that story reminds me of one of my first 12-step meetings. i walked in and saw the person chairing the meeting and he was one of my former very best customers for years... all i could think was: thank god he is still alive.
thanks for writing this.
djh
 
Sir, i know you as seedless, blahblahblah, and Andy....I also know you as an inspiration. I'm 25 years old and that did more for my life than any shrink could ever do. Have I taken my last stab? I doubt it. Have I read this for this last time...Absolutely not. That goddamn King Kong.
 
HOLY SHIT!! What a brilliant masterpiece. I am never touching "O" again. Fuck king kong. This writing will save many lives. This should be required reading for anybody considering experimentation with opiates, or anything else for that matter. Thank you for sharing your experience.


12 days clean
 
hbfreekwan said:
i have been snorting 200-300 mg of oxycontin daily for 2 years now, i had just quit 6 days ago and i relapsed tonight. searching through bluelight led me to this. i dont know if i can ever quit...

one day you'll manage it. you've just got to be ready and in the right frame of mind. i'd been using heroin on and off for 6 years, solidly for the last 3 and i just kept relapsing. this time im managing to stay clean though and stick to a script. trust me when i say if i can do it you certainly can...
keep your chin up =D
 
this was one of the first posts i ever read on bluelight

it's very well written
 
Last edited:
Its been crazy reading all of your stuff tonight. I've seen you post over the years but having it all in one place was epic. How are you doing now if you don't mind my asking?

<3
 
Top