MA Heroin V We Overdraft Our Shit 2

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^Me too, valium seems to hit me hard, even xanax for me is a gradual come up compared to it. Thats why I snort benzos a lot, even though I know its junk for BA, but it does work. But I'm not so concerned about the BA because they don't drain my wallet like certain other subsances. You can argue about the whole lack of solubility in water, but its soluble in lipids, which allows it to have a decent BA. I'd guess its around 2/3rd of eating them. Valiums the only one I have never tried to snort, because I can take 10-15 mg and within 30 minutes it hits me full on and I'm feeling real relaxed. When I had my hands on valium I would take it and try to sync up when I did my H, when I snorted the H right when the valium kicked it was some of the best highs I've had. Oddly with valium I find its pretty much worn off by 4 hours, except some mild relaxation that lasts for sometime after. Even though its half life is something like 50-100 hours. I know many other people say the same thing about it.
 
I only eat benzos. sure, at one point I snorted and even shot but now I realize what a waste that all was and how dumb I was doing such things. eating benzos are THE BEST way for it to hit and also most enjoyable for me.
 
You're really not supposed to mention stamps here just so you know...but I've had the first one didn't know they were still around yeah they were fire when I tried them...never heard of the second one but if they got popped then it doesn't matter I guess. I don't cold cop anymore but I'll bolo 4 those you mentioned...don't cop in Holyoke but the ppl I deal with on the reg get their stuff there

oops didnt really know about not mentioning stamp names, long time bluelighter but never post about heroin much. and i love cold copping its part of the fun and adventure for me. Honestly id rather go to the block to get shit because its fun, cheap, and can get soft and hard all at the same place.
 
Whoops I really wasn't trying to finagle a meetup or anything, I was just super benzo'd out and happy. Fuckin' benzos, every damn time. Oh well, bluelight's a lot tighter than it used to be, from my understanding there were problems during my long absences. Funny enough, shortly after my bragging post my shit got kind of messed up, but considering how many people from my town run out there it's not a huge problem.
 
oops didnt really know about not mentioning stamp names, long time bluelighter but never post about heroin much. and i love cold copping its part of the fun and adventure for me. Honestly id rather go to the block to get shit because its fun, cheap, and can get soft and hard all at the same place.
How long u been using? Me; 26 long wasted years and I still can't stop this shit...Live in the Field and I used to love the thrill of coppin on the street but I'm older and don't enjoy putting myself in that situation...already ruined my life with a possession conviction on my record so I don't even apply for jobs anymore cause I feel that no one will hire me so I work under the table for cash for my daily dose. Been dealing with phone connects ever since and have a long time dealer so no cold cop pin 4 me. U from here or close? I only know one other person here from my area or close...lots of ppl here are from eastern MA hope you like it here and post often...
 
Fuck, you guys like cold copping? It's pretty high on my list of things I hate about doing dope. I like copping but I want get out of the area as quickly as possible... especially in holyoke, its so hot, cold copping is scary. I hate feeling like I'm about to ruin the last good things I have going for me in my life by getting robbed/burned/caught up... especially in the winter being dope sick trying to cop outside in the 15 degrees... I feel bad just thinking about cold copping lol :-l
 
Yeah cold copping is not my style either. I don't like the risk and uncertainty, or the exposure. I would much rather deal with a reliable guy, who I can call, and meet in a safe and private place, away from cops.
 
never cold copped in my life; when I did and was hurting, then sure, I'd prob. have no prob cold copping but never had to. I always knew dealers who I could meet up within 15-20 minutes; maybe an hour at most. I never would trust street dope. I always heard from others how the dope was before buying/doing. even the dealer himself would be doing the same dope and let me know before it went into my body.

RazKat - you've been using 26 years now, huh? dope for 26 years? how many years of sobriety throughout, if you dont mind me asking? what have you lost over those 26 years? what have you gained? I ask just to show some of the other youngins on this board what they are at risk for. you've copped much longer than I have and probably played this game many different ways than I have, so I'd love to know/hear more info, if possible. Thanks.
 
How long u been using? Me; 26 long wasted years and I still can't stop this shit...Live in the Field and I used to love the thrill of coppin on the street but I'm older and don't enjoy putting myself in that situation...already ruined my life with a possession conviction on my record so I don't even apply for jobs anymore cause I feel that no one will hire me so I work under the table for cash for my daily dose. Been dealing with phone connects ever since and have a long time dealer so no cold cop pin 4 me. U from here or close? I only know one other person here from my area or close...lots of ppl here are from eastern MA hope you like it here and post often...

How old are you, Raz? Must be up there.
 
well, lets say she's using 26 years; I think of myself as "using" close to 12 years. I don't count the smoking weed, drinking and maybe taking an ecstasy in high school as using. once 18 came the Oxy's were introduced they took over my life quick; I was SELLING more than using but due to the money being made I started partying in EVERY category aside from opiates. E, K, G, Crystal, Coke, whatever... I was doing it 4x's a week minimum. I was also moving thousands of 80's at the time. eventually the 80's caught on as well around 20/21 and I started banging those w/ my other drugs. then I eventually was picked up and sent away to what we call PRISON! oh what fun. ended up in a in-house rehab for 6 month post release and then sober house for another 6 months. went about 5 years or so clean total. then one day in 07 I came across a buddy I met in prison/rehab and he was moving 80's again. and then BOOM, I decided I pick up an 80. luckily, I could split that 80 into 6-8 pieces and still feel "high" or "jammed". before you know it I was downing 80's and then they left and 30's hit the scene. 30's were cheap at the time so I could bang down alot. from 30's the dope came around and I could bang down that as well. it just went downhill from there on out; as time went by the dope eventually TOOK OVER MY LIFE. it was MY BOSS. it called ALL THE SHOTS/MOVES I MADE. every decision I made was based around dope. every dollar I made was spent on DOPE or how to get to the place to get the DOPE! bills STOPPED being paid; my rent money I'd pay my GF (at the time) in advance because I didnt trust myself to keep on hand. I didnt have a car at the time due to a DUI so no bill there either. I was just paying RENT and sometimes GAS for other cars I'd use to pick up. It got fucking whacky man. I'd walk in to a Dunkin Donuts, Burger King, McDonalds, etc, and the people behind the counter just knew my face and would say "hey, whats up... using the bathroom again?". just knowing/or pretending to know that I was going in there to take a "shit". meanwhile I am blasting away in these bathrooms and feel so at home as if it's normal to be doing such a thing. I'd walk out and sometimes there would be a line and I'd just have a big smile on my face after the BLAST I had in there. I'd leave the needle wrapper on top the trash as if I didnt care. the bags and whatnot would get flushed and pin would get wrapped up and tucked away in the barrel as well. was just SICK fucking times, man. blows my mind I did what I did. ONCE in a while I'd try to buy ONE THING from the DOLLAR MENU to look like a REAL customer.

so yea, I am 31 years old now and have only been sober roughly 5 months. I was 30 when I quit/OD'd last. so from here on out I an TRYING to stay away from opiates; bupe has helped me tremendously thus far but I honestly have no urge, no thoughts, no NOTHING when it comes to dope, so I am even confidence as I lower my bupe dosage that I WILL BE FINE! I started at 24MG and still scripted 16MG but dropped myself to 8MG over the last month or so. people MAY SAY you only need such a small dosage but I dont always buy into that. there are days where ill go back to 12 or 16MG depending on how I feel and that day I feel "extra" good considering the dosage has doubled. ha.

either way, I just hope all you junkies out there right now realize that you MAY be ruining your life. take a look around. realize what others have in life and what you dont. I am NOT SAYING you have to life the NORM, because that is something I surly DO NOT believe in (I want no marriage, no kids, no ownership of housing, etc). I just want to have cash, a steady job (always have but dope started to put that at risk) and my health (which was been tarnished but getting back to where it once was). I look at life day by day, as they do say in your NA/AA meetings. I dont plan too far ahead but I am damn happy w/ my day by day plan/events.

God bless you all who are still struggling. If I could do it, then you surly could do it. I was a JUNKED OUT WHACK JOB! i still am a WHACK JOB but people just know me for that and know I am a funny/whacky guy. No longer a junkie/whacky guy. ha. make sense to anyone?
 
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oh wow, dude. we would of have the kurt kobain dope. damn, I may have made a comeback for that shit, ha.

nah, im all set. thats just the "high me talking since I just smoked a bowl. crazy that was being brought in/around here like that but yet I would have seen it in grams/ounces, etc. I'd pay MORE to see it in the Kurt packaging.
 
Just to make you feel better Raz, I was under the impression you were a dude since I first read a post of yours. Which had to be around Summer time if not longer ago.
 
^^^

I automatically assume everyone on BL is a dude unless their username is undeniably feminine. Maybe that makes me sexist, but.. whatever. Hah. But, I've been surprised many many times to find out people I have been seeing/talking to on here for years that I thought were guys, end up to be chics. There are a lot of women on BL.
 
Wow man yeah you've been through the ringer to hunh?? BTW----I'm a he not a she...haha...check this out this happened today...sonavabitch!!! http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2013/12/vermonts_drivers_failure_to_mo.html#incart_m-rpt-2 and Scag, I'm 45 years old...

The day I get a 'Kurt cobain' bag is the day I reached the climax of my dope career. Granted that it's the best dope I ever did. Otherwise, I'd be highly disappointed. Almost angry even.


BostonBrowntown said:
either way, I just hope all you junkies out there right now realize that you MAY be ruining your life. take a look around. realize what others have in life and what you dont. I am NOT SAYING you have to life the NORM, because that is something I surly DO NOT believe in (I want no marriage, no kids, no ownership of housing, etc). I just want to have cash, a steady job (always have but dope started to put that at risk) and my health (which was been tarnished but getting back to where it once was). I look at life day by day, as they do say in your NA/AA meetings. I dont plan too far ahead but I am damn happy w/ my day by day plan/events.

God bless you all who are still struggling. If I could do it, then you surly could do it. I was a JUNKED OUT WHACK JOB! i still am a WHACK JOB but people just know me for that and know I am a funny/whacky guy. No longer a junkie/whacky guy. ha. make sense to anyone?

That's the problem right there... What do others have that I don't? What.. a fancy phone, a cool entertainment system? $200 kicks? Fuck all that.
I'm not a materialistic person by any means. I don't cater to social norms. I guess that's my problem right there. Maybe there's something wrong with me.
Cause I never felt 'normal' and I would certainly never put up a fake front to people.. If I had a shitty day, I'm not going to smile and act like it's all rainbows. You're going to know.
I'm such a drag. But hey, I don't give a fuck?

& It's not like I justify my usage with bullshit. I do it to be happy. That's all. It's the only thing that ever made me feel close to 'normal' ... whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean.
 
^^ but dude, I am not saying you need fancy kicks or clothes, cuz thats not something I exactly care or worry about.. but how about just MONEY in your bank account? how about being able to pay for a car? being able to pay your cell phone bill? RENT.. able to pay RENT? cuz that is something I surly had a hard time doing many times and ended up in rehab/houses elsewhere. the money gets thrown away, dude. sure, thats for any habit, but seems to be the most wasted toward drugs. to those people out there who are gambling degenerates and blow all their money gambling, I feel just bad; although. they dont have the same physical withdrawals we do.

I am not against those who still use; god bless you all. I just hope you all use w/ a little more responsibility than when I used. I was killing myself and everyone around me.
 
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My money just sits there, and yeah, it's nice to have money and all that, but money doesn't make me happy.
 
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