17th Issue General Heroin Discussion v. Perfect Day

[brutus]

This is the thread for general heroin discussion. You can use the city/state specific threads for discussion that is mostly just relevant for that area. The NASADD Guidelines as well as the BLUA are enforced here. If you are too lazy to read them then at least know these main rules: No pricing, no sourcing/dealing, no meet-ups, and no mentioning of specific locations. Stamp discussion is limited to just the name of a stamp. You cannot mention a stamp as well as it's size and/or quality, so basically you can only mention a stamp 'in passing.'

Old one here.

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

Guess I'll kick this shindig off.

Going to try and get back on suboxone tomorrow... nervous as as hell.

Wish me luck.

 

[tomatalli]

Got a half stack yesterday, those of you from the east coast know what im talkin about. I didnt think they were that great so my dealer allowed me to trade him for different bags, ive never heard of anyone else doin this most other dealers would just say tough shit or somethin like that, i guess when ur loyal they'll look out for you. Has anyone else had an experience like that? Did what i didnt want to do and got another 30 rock of crack

 

[Welderman]

I could go for some smack right now.

 

[oldhippytony]

best to you

Guess I'll kick this shindig off.

Going to try and get back on suboxone tomorrow... nervous as as hell.

Wish me luck.

Good luck dude. I've been taking the films almost daily for 18 months. For the last 6 months I've been taking only 1 mg. a day. Seems to be enough to put a hold on cravings and yet on the rare occasion when I stumble across some dope, I can get my nod on if the dope is good. Living where I live (relatively small town ... compared to the Big Apple) and how I live (high profile job, family, etc.) copping dope is very risky so I avoid doing so, as much as I'd like to.

I'm just wondering... what are you nervous about?

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

Got a half stack yesterday, those of you from the east coast know what im talkin about. I didnt think they were that great so my dealer allowed me to trade him for different bags, ive never heard of anyone else doin this most other dealers would just say tough shit or somethin like that, i guess when ur loyal they'll look out for you. Has anyone else had an experience like that? Did what i didnt want to do and got another 30 rock of crack

Most of the good dealers will do that. If you call and tell them their shit was garbage, they'll either give you back your money (only if you are long time respected customer who they trust) or swap bags.

Good luck dude. I've been taking the films almost daily for 18 months. For the last 6 months I've been taking only 1 mg. a day. Seems to be enough to put a hold on cravings and yet on the rare occasion when I stumble across some dope, I can get my nod on if the dope is good. Living where I live (relatively small town ... compared to the Big Apple) and how I live (high profile job, family, etc.) copping dope is very risky so I avoid doing so, as much as I'd like to.

I'm just wondering... what are you nervous about?

Them not working right away. After going back and forth so many times over the years and coming off of a large habit right now, the transition onto the subs can be really rough where it takes a couple days of feeling like shit before the subs start to work.

 

[Tommyboy]

damn - hearing all of this music gear getting pawned hurts my soul

I'm sure I've come close to pawning my kick-ass drum set, but I make some money off of playing music (shows + recordings) so I'm sure brain is like "hey - that outcome is worse"

Hey man, I'm just wondering how long you have been a 'functional addict' since I know you've been using dope for a long time, yet haven't seemed to have sunken that low. I gave up on trying to be a 'chipper' since I basically came to terms with the fact that I'm more of an all or nothing kinda guy when it comes to dope. Since I've been clean for a while now I find that my cravings are the worst when I'm actually feeling good about myself, which seems to be the opposite of most people.

Like I know that if I'm feeling 'down' that dope will only make me feel good while I'm high, and then worse the next day so I don't crave it when I'm like that. But when I'm feeling good I crave dope more since I figure that the dope will make me feel even better and then after it wears off I'll just go back to feeling good, which would be a 'win-win' for me. However, I know that in reality if I picked up I would use until I fucked up a few things in my life which would then make me feel bad without the dope, and thus the cycle would start over again.

 

[tomatalli]

Ive never heard of it being done IRLwhich is why i said that, im sure there are other dealers like you said who actually know how to take care of their customers. I feel really dumb yet really high right now ive spent $110 on hard and have done 4 bundles the past 2 days, i had extra monry from selling my playstation 3 with games and some bodybuilding supplements(NOT steroids) and got $400 all together and instead of being smart and sticking to my normal habbit and maybe gettin a little hard which i never buy and only do if i get it for free and saving the money for when i really need it i ended up after 2 fuckin days only havin $130 left of it. Is that just how we junkies work if we have the funds we get extra high?

 

[Tommyboy]

Ive never heard of it being done IRLwhich is why i said that, im sure there are other dealers like you said who actually know how to take care of their customers. I feel really dumb yet really high right now ive spent $110 on hard and have done 4 bundles the past 2 days, i had extra monry from selling my playstation 3 with games and some bodybuilding supplements(NOT steroids) and got $400 all together and instead of being smart and sticking to my normal habbit and maybe gettin a little hard which i never buy and only do if i get it for free and saving the money for when i really need it i ended up after 2 fuckin days only havin $130 left of it. Is that just how we junkies work if we have the funds we get extra high?

It depends, but the worse you are the more likely you are to use your funds to get high NOW and worry about the next day when you get to it. Some users have more control where they will make sure to have something set aside for each day to keep from getting sick, but if you're worse you will use it all up until it's gone, and then figure out how to get more once that supply has run dry.

I've gotta say that crack/cocaine seems to be different when it comes to rational decisions, although I admit I've never used those drugs aside from maybe 4 times that I tried cocaine when a friend gave me some for free so they weren't doing it by themselves. It's such a fiendish drug compared to opiates though, since you'll do anything to keep from coming down, which often results in blowing all of your funds on a multi-day binge, which further messes with your judgement since sleep deprivation starts becoming a factor after the first day. At least with opiates you get high and just chill out and are good for the day (considering you did enough to get high and keep withdrawals at bay until the next day) which is far from the case on stimulants, since on them you are wired and want to keep doing more and more until the well is dry.

What made you decide to sell the PS3? Did you get / are you getting the PS4 or something? I was just wondering since that's a pretty big thing to sell and I feel like hardcore drug users would have sold that ages ago since it sells for a decent price, so considering you held onto it for this long and the release date for PS4 was ten days ago I thought there might be a correlation between the two.

 

[tomatalli]

My grandma is getting me a ps4 yeah...thatll prolly end up being sold too, i didnt sell it earlier because it gives me somethin to do while im fucked up and im a functioning addict, none of my friends know i relapsed, i go to work, have 2 jobs and make enough money to cover my habbit each week, although i dont have money in my bank account. See the thing is what you said about havimg control and setting aside enough for each day is exactly what i do i have not gotten sick beyond a little bit of a runny nose ONCE since i relapsed in June. I even make sure to wait until i take a crap everday to get high. But when i got crack im tryin to make it so i can still feel opiated(if thats even a word) while high on crack and i binge on the crack which makes me binge on deisel, yes i know thats a really stupid thing to do because of my heart which does not feel good at all right now. Anyway the point is crack/cocaine is evil, before i tried crack which wa a few months ago i didnt think of it as a drug thats as addicting as opiates but mentally it may be more addicting especially IV coke or smoked crack because of how short lived and intense the high is

Also just because i dont sell everything i own doesnt mean i dont have a very serious drug addiction or im not a "hardcore addict" which i assume means someome with a very serious drug addiction or will do anything to get high. I had a ps3 the first te i got addicted and sold that, i got clean for a pretty good amount of time and got another ps3 while i had a job. I hate when people say hardcore drug addicts would do this or that, everyone is different and so is every drug addict. When im not doin crack i have more control than most over how much i do each day, what i sell, etc. If i went out and started selling everything and being completely blitzed everyday i would be found out by my parents becausr im 18 and live at home and i probably wouldnt be able to do my job and if i didnt have a job i wouldnt have money to buy dope

 

[Tommyboy]

My grandma is getting me a ps4 yeah...thatll prolly end up being sold too, i didnt sell it earlier because it gives me somethin to do while im fucked up and im a functioning addict, none of my friends know i relapsed, i go to work, have 2 jobs and make enough money to cover my habbit each week, although i dont have money in my bank account. See the thing is what you said about havimg control and setting aside enough for each day is exactly what i do i have not gotten sick beyond a little bit of a runny nose ONCE since i relapsed in June. I even make sure to wait until i take a crap everday to get high. But when i got crack im tryin to make it so i can still feel opiated(if thats even a word) while high on crack and i binge on the crack which makes me binge on deisel, yes i know thats a really stupid thing to do because of my heart which does not feel good at all right now. Anyway the point is crack/cocaine is evil, before i tried crack which wa a few months ago i didnt think of it as a drug thats as addicting as opiates but mentally it may be more addicting especially IV coke or smoked crack because of how short lived and intense the high is

Also just because i dont sell everything i own doesnt mean i dont have a very serious drug addiction or im not a "hardcore addict" which i assume means someome with a very serious drug addiction or will do anything to get high. I had a ps3 the first te i got addicted and sold that, i got clean for a pretty good amount of time and got another ps3 while i had a job. I hate when people say hardcore drug addicts would do this or that, everyone is different and so is every drug addict. When im not doin crack i have more control than most over how much i do each day, what i sell, etc. If i went out and started selling everything and being completely blitzed everyday i would be found out by my parents becausr im 18 and live at home and i probably wouldnt be able to do my job and if i didnt have a job i wouldnt have money to buy dope

Damn, I knew you sounded young, but 18 man? We've had a few young'ns posting in here and us older heads try to steer you guys in the right direction. Like we know you are going to do what you want, so we want you guys to do it as safely as possible, as little / least often as possible, and hopefully get you to consider quitting.

Please lay off the crack man, as that seems to intensify your addictive behavior 10 fold. Only the grimiest people I know are the ones that used crack, and that's not just some hyped up media stuff, it really does make people skinny, dirty looking, soars on their face, paranoid, broke, shop lifting, getting arrested, etc... You are 18, you should be chilling with girls and friends and more girls, drinking a few beers and smoking some weed together. Not respectable hot girl will be cool with you doing crack, and even if she doesn't see you do it you would be acting weird on it so people would think you're weird or something.

 

[tomatalli]

Damn, I knew you sounded young, but 18 man? We've had a few young'ns posting in here and us older heads try to steer you guys in the right direction. Like we know you are going to do what you want, so we want you guys to do it as safely as possible, as little / least often as possible, and hopefully get you to consider quitting.

Please lay off the crack man, as that seems to intensify your addictive behavior 10 fold. Only the grimiest people I know are the ones that used crack, and that's not just some hyped up media stuff, it really does make people skinny, dirty looking, soars on their face, paranoid, broke, shop lifting, getting arrested, etc... You are 18, you should be chilling with girls and friends and more girls, drinking a few beers and smoking some weed together. Not respectable hot girl will be cool with you doing crack, and even if she doesn't see you do it you would be acting weird on it so people would think you're weird or something.

First i wanna say sorry for the ramble of being pissed about your hardcore comment im comin down now and feel like crap and am in an asshole mood..

Anyway i know what i should be doing at this age but the fact of the matter is if im not deisel im in a lot of physical pain and just lay around all day, so its a loose-loose situation for me either lay around all day in pain and not be able to go out with my friends or do deisel have alot less pain, and be able to go out when i have the money? To me the latter sounds alot better. I originally started d at 17 when my back started killin me because doctors wouldnt take my pain seriously bc "young ppl shouldnt be in alot of pain" , got clean for awhile then relapsed about 8-9 momths later when i just couldnt take it anymore and had to get a job to help pay my car insurance i cant work if i dont have some pain managment. Now that ive had two overdoses from mixing benzos and dope and gettin a sub script I probably wont ever be able to get legit pain managment so i really have no choice but to be a dope fiend. Not tryna tell a sob story just tellin u why i do it at this age, trust me id love to be a "normal" 18 year old but it is what it is.

Yeah i know i need to cut the crack, being a dope head is bad enough i dont need 2 hard drug addictions

 

[Tommyboy]

First i wanna say sorry for the ramble of being pissed about your hardcore comment im comin down now and feel like crap and am in an asshole mood..

Oh, I didn't even realize that you took the 'hardcore' comment in a bad way, just thought you were trying to figure out what constituted hardcore drug use in my mind.

Try to have a more positive outlook on things, since it plays more of a role than you would think when it comes to both addiction and pain. I know several people that thought that they were doomed for life at a young age due to issues with chronic pain, and both of them are now living with minimal pain without the use of opioid pain medications. And before you dismiss this as them having less pain than you, all I can say is that they couldn't even walk upright, wouldn't even dream of running or doing other physical exercise, and were using 120mg of oxycodone each day just to control the pain a little, but not enough for them to be free of pain at all. I'm not at all saying that you do or don't need them, just that it's only one of several treatments that you should be seeking for controlling your pain.

There's no way for us to measure their pain compared to yours, or to know the prognosis of all of you, but all I can say is that having a positive outlook is going to be the only way that you will have a chance at living a productive life with the least amount of pain as possible.

Pain killers can actually make pain worse after a while since tolerance increases to the point of them not working well, and then withdrawal occurs between dosing and the symptoms include pain which wouldn't be there if the person didn't end up being dependent on the pain meds. I've read up on this a lot and there are many cases where a chronic pain patient didn't end up getting better until they decided that they should get off of their pain meds, so I encourage you to look into options for treating you pain outside of opioid pain meds.

Also, I think that crack can actually make your pain worse in some cases. It can cause you to tighten up your muscles and/or have an odd posture for a while which may make your pain worse.

 

[tomatalli]

I wouldmt have normally i was jist comin down from the crack and pissed off by the world and thought u were tryin to brush off my addiction like its not an issue. I hate when people try to have competitions on whos more addicted its retarded. But thats not the way you meant it again i wouldnt have even mentioned anythin about it if i wasnt coming down

quick question...does crack actually effect your teetu alot or is it mostly crack users domt take care of their teeth? I mean im sure it has an effect because its smoked but the maim reason for crack users havin bad teeth has to be hygiene?

 

[Tommyboy]

quick question...does crack actually effect your teetu alot or is it mostly crack users domt take care of their teeth? I mean im sure it has an effect because its smoked but the maim reason for crack users havin bad teeth has to be hygiene?

Not sure, might be a combination of the two. Check out the Crack Mega-Thread and see if it's answered in there, or just ask it in there.

 

[tomatalli]

Oh, I didn't even realize that you took the 'hardcore' comment in a bad way, just thought you were trying to figure out what constituted hardcore drug use in my mind.

Try to have a more positive outlook on things, since it plays more of a role than you would think when it comes to both addiction and pain. I know several people that thought that they were doomed for life at a young age due to issues with chronic pain, and both of them are now living with minimal pain without the use of opioid pain medications. And before you dismiss this as them having less pain than you, all I can say is that they couldn't even walk upright, wouldn't even dream of running or doing other physical exercise, and were using 120mg of oxycodone each day just to control the pain a little, but not enough for them to be free of pain at all. I'm not at all saying that you do or don't need them, just that it's only one of several treatments that you should be seeking for controlling your pain.

There's no way for us to measure their pain compared to yours, or to know the prognosis of all of you, but all I can say is that having a positive outlook is going to be the only way that you will have a chance at living a productive life with the least amount of pain as possible.

Pain killers can actually make pain worse after a while since tolerance increases to the point of them not working well, and then withdrawal occurs between dosing and the symptoms include pain which wouldn't be there if the person didn't end up being dependent on the pain meds. I've read up on this a lot and there are many cases where a chronic pain patient didn't end up getting better until they decided that they should get off of their pain meds, so I encourage you to look into options for treating you pain outside of opioid pain meds.

Also, I think that crack can actually make your pain worse in some cases. It can cause you to tighten up your muscles and/or have an odd posture for a while which may make your pain worse.

I actually have tried other things durin the 9 months i was clean, i was doing PT when i was addicted and ended up doing it for a total of almost 2 years, and then moved on to a chiropracter but now my insurance wont cover either anymore. Durin that time i did a ton of excersises and stretchs that were supposed to help, so ive looked into other options. The orthopedic doctor i went to doesnt take me seriously bc he thinks im a drug seeker and my insurance sucks and wont let me get MRIs
I know im still being negative i just dont kbow what to do.

 

[Jabberwocky]

what do/did you guys use w/ your dope? I know some junkies only stick to one drug and abide by their drug of choice. my dealer NEVER USED a single thing besides dope; he only sniffed as well. but he had a BAD, BAD habit.

I usually would use some type of benzo w/ the dope; maybe smoke some weed. if the friends were out at a bar I'd meet up and drink some beers. thats really about it. probably benzo's most often but not daily. have shot as speedball before but that was only very few times; I hardly ever came across coke because I wasnt exactly ever looking.

how about you guys?

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

Only coke. Sometimes I'd drink on dope if I'm around normal people who drink. Ha.

 

[Jabberwocky]

haha. exactly why I would drink. I would HARDLY EVER drink if I was just solo. I may have done it a few times w/ a glass of wine w/ the girl at the time in order to LOOK NORMAL but most of the time alcohol was far away if I was solo.

I really enjoyed dope best alone but somehow got caught up w/ the benzo's for a bit and it actually made me nod/pass out more often and not even feel the full effect of the dope. was just part of the sick addiction. who knows. somehow I never picked up a benzo habit because aside from the 90 1MG pills I was prescribed a month I had no connect and those 90 would be gone over the course of a week, so the addiction never caught, thankfully.

 

[Jabberwocky]

last night I was actually out for the Patriots game and had a few beers; smoked weed during the day. subox in the morning, of course. to most people that may sound like a day that was dampened w/ drugs. but to me that is being absolutely stone cold sober.. is there something wrong w/ that?

12MG subox for brekafast; probably smoke a blunt while at the tattoo shop around 2 or 3PM and had 2-3 beers during the Sunday night game. but here I am thinking all is fine and dandy.. am I right for thinking that? life has truly gotten better/been great over the last 3 months of being off the dope but do you feel this is still wrong path? I dont.