17th Issue General Heroin Discussion v. Perfect Day

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You def can. I was for a year or two as mentioned. Just saying I sank even lower after shooting. If I stuck sniffing I would have went broke even sooner so I prob should have stuck with that. Who knows, I've might have robbed people. Luckily that never happened.

Ah ok musta missed that part. I dont think theres any question about that i know it gets worse when you start shooting and thats another reason im trying not to start
 
Guys this is my third holiday off the d. I can't believe how things have changed. while I was using I'd totally burnt the trust between my kids. They would invite me when I was using often I wouldn't show up or if I did it was a nightmare, I had used everyone and I could see the hurt in their eyes, It has taken a while and I know in their minds that me(their Dad) is still sick,
They have a hard time accepting me being on subs ,but they also see how much I've changed. Make no mistake about it I have more bridges to rebuild. All in all though they are proud of their pop. The trust level is great. I can babysit my two grandsons-even took them to a cards game earlier this summer. That would be unheard of in the past.
I ain't preachin to you younger guys. But if you aren't using the needle don't start. I can look back and see that point was when I lost all self-control. Again I know people are going to do what they want. But give it a long hard look before you pick up the rig. Shit got crazy real quick w/me. Anyway I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.

Congrats, man. Great story and it keeps me on the right track. I was the same way throughout various Holidays over the years. sometimes I would just sit home and say I went to my GF's house or my friend was having a party.. anything to lie to the parents so they wouldnt see their son junked out at the table.

This was the first year in a while I got to actually eat dinner w/ the fam and was treated like a normal human being. Take it I've only been sober for 3.5 months but things still have changed and they are seeing a new person.

I too am on subs and the family sometimes questions if they are NEEDED and dont fully understand but they are accepting it because of my activities and what has changed in such a brief period of time. father is even willing to co-sign for a new apartment that I am out to get (something that would be unheard of in past).

I know 3 months is still very early but I am seeing things get better and better and NEVER want to go back to where I once was. Just pure fucking misery, man.
 
damn just got word that my friend died yesterday in the hospital. The last time I saw him was tuesday night / wednesday morning. We didnt exactly part ways on the greatest terms that night either, over petty shit really

thats just what heroin did to our interaction and lives in general really, made us extremely selfish and just way too up and down to last any extended amount of time.

and the last thing I said to him was "yeah whatever man"

apparently he was in the hospital for at least a day so im not a mathematician but that means when I left at 230 am not much could have transpired before he died. he was fucked up when I saw him last, but he probably took more benzos and that finally tipped the scales.

I dont really remember tbh, I was pretty fucked up

I gotta stop this shit
 
damn just thought of something else, dude fronted him a brick that night, no way is he gettin that money now most likely

I think I deleted the post where I was bitchin about him, kind of wish I could re-read it again
 
nah 4 bundles. such a loosely thrown around term though

about 3 too many I guess, fuck man I knew he didnt look too hot when I left. Like he was good, but at the point where any more was really rolling the dice. and he was with this girl who I was bitching about previously and I know they got more fucked up.

I dont know how to feel man, he was a big boy and probably wouldnt have listened anyway, but we used to talk about how dope wasnt doing anything for us either short or long term

and that will always hold true, it doesnt do shit for you besides where hes at, and where im at

dead or might as well be dead
 
^ don't beat yourself up. Any one of us that have been in the game long enough is gonna end up like your buddy or incarcerated or clean. And it is an individual decicison that only we can make.
 
nah 4 bundles. such a loosely thrown around term though

about 3 too many I guess, fuck man I knew he didnt look too hot when I left. Like he was good, but at the point where any more was really rolling the dice. and he was with this girl who I was bitching about previously and I know they got more fucked up.

I dont know how to feel man, he was a big boy and probably wouldnt have listened anyway, but we used to talk about how dope wasnt doing anything for us either short or long term

and that will always hold true, it doesnt do shit for you besides where hes at, and where im at

dead or might as well be dead

Ah okY, around here the term brick isnt really used alot and if it is you dont know what theyre talkin about till they tell ya. Never heard it as 4bs though, usually 10bs if anythinf
...everywhere has their own drug slang tho
Yep thats how it is, you end up dead, in jail/prison, or clean and most likely miserable.
 
appreciated guys

Im gonna miss his ass though, we always had some funny conversations to and from getting high. Were both the kind of person where nothing really phases us. You go down with people some times and they either never shut the fuck up (like that chick$, or they just geek out at the sight of every cop car (yeah, there's a lot of them down there lol)

like there were a couple times, for one reason or another, we'd find out halfway there the guy was actually not gonna be around and we'd both just look at each other and know like "yeah, were not turning around, we'll find SOMETHING"

and we always did. not gonna lie I feel like me being white was more of a help in those situations but him being black also made our back story more believable (his grandma was sick, going to visit her)

either way, if I can take one thing away from all this dope shit, just dont let stuff phase you man. Panic or no panic, shit is gonna happen. You can either deal with it while being rational, or flip the fuck out.

I just cant be emotionally dead SOME of the time, it fuckin sucks. im either Keith Stone, or PLURING my face off usually intoxicated

but down there man, nothin but Keith Stone

fuck I had a feeling I was gonna be saying this but RIP man
 
appreciated guys

Im gonna miss his ass though, we always had some funny conversations to and from getting high. Were both the kind of person where nothing really phases us. You go down with people some times and they either never shut the fuck up (like that chick$, or they just geek out at the sight of every cop car (yeah, there's a lot of them down there lol)

like there were a couple times, for one reason or another, we'd find out halfway there the guy was actually not gonna be around and we'd both just look at each other and know like "yeah, were not turning around, we'll find SOMETHING"

and we always did. not gonna lie I feel like me being white was more of a help in those situations but him being black also made our back story more believable (his grandma was sick, going to visit her)

either way, if I can take one thing away from all this dope shit, just dont let stuff phase you man. Panic or no panic, shit is gonna happen. You can either deal with it while being rational, or flip the fuck out.

I just cant be emotionally dead SOME of the time, it fuckin sucks. im either Keith Stone, or PLURING my face off usually intoxicated

but down there man, nothin but Keith Stone

fuck I had a feeling I was gonna be saying this but RIP man

Maybe this will give you a reason to get clean? Jist dont let it get u so down that u over do it ajd risk your health bc ur so down about ur friend, stay safe
 
got a half gram of coke and a bundle last night. end up blowing through all the coke except a good sized line for this afternoon when i got up. shit was clean to where i was wired at 2am and when the 5 bags started hitting me again i was actually out by 5am.

got up this morning and did a fat line of coke and 3 bags of dope and yesterday i got a gram of some of the best medical weed ive had i a while. so i took a fat rip of that this morning as well. i need my sister to get me this subs and my appt for subs to come on the 11th faster so i can actually get maintained and back to being clean. them 40 days were sorta miserable but not any worse, if not actually better then when i was using dope all the time and spending ALL my money on dope.
 
^i wish i could still smoke weed without it makin my body ache like fuckin crazy, i used to be a gigantic stoner in talkin the kind who spends $1000 on a bong. Now it just makes my chronic pain go insane even if im on opiates

Itd also be nice to actually get quality coke, i can get fire rock but id like to try soms fire soft too
 
it helps any pain i have. last year when i picked up something way to heavy for me at work and i ended up having this knot on my upper back on the right side and i took painkillers which only helped when combined with muscle relaxers and weed, did PT, and went to an orthopedic(sp?) doc. the PT helped till i lost my insurance but ive also had certain kinds of weed take my pain right away, some others not so much.

ive only had coke 4X and it was all between april and now. 3X was from baltimore cityand my coworker who got it for me said it was banging, same with this last shit, which was bought in DE, not baltimore. this time i was fairly wired but still got to sleep within like 2.3 hours if not less after my last line. i felt really good tho but i also did 5 bags of dope with it. WHen i got the shit from baltimore i was doing it in combo with dope at work and i was working my ass off and was speedy but real calm at the same time.

i wont do coke by itself but ill do it in combo with raw dope or some stamp bagged dope. i like it tho but i couldnt see how people spend all there money on it. its fun but not fun enough to blow my money like i did with heroin.
 
it helps any pain i have. last year when i picked up something way to heavy for me at work and i ended up having this knot on my upper back on the right side and i took painkillers which only helped when combined with muscle relaxers and weed, did PT, and went to an orthopedic(sp?) doc. the PT helped till i lost my insurance but ive also had certain kinds of weed take my pain right away, some others not so much.

ive only had coke 4X and it was all between april and now. 3X was from baltimore cityand my coworker who got it for me said it was banging, same with this last shit, which was bought in DE, not baltimore. this time i was fairly wired but still got to sleep within like 2.3 hours if not less after my last line. i felt really good tho but i also did 5 bags of dope with it. WHen i got the shit from baltimore i was doing it in combo with dope at work and i was working my ass off and was speedy but real calm at the same time.

i wont do coke by itself but ill do it in combo with raw dope or some stamp bagged dope. i like it tho but i couldnt see how people spend all there money on it. its fun but not fun enough to blow my money like i did with heroin.

Honestly,its the most fiendish drug ive ever done. Im talkin about crack but im sure coke isnt much different, i soent about $160 on it last week and only smoked it on 3-4 occasions. I can see how people become full blown addicts and spend their entire bank account on it. When i smoke some hard i will smoke every last crumb of it and I make sure to get all the resin out and will continue to hit it even when i know theres noy any resin left. It just turn me into a fuckin fiend so i know i cant continue to do it often it just makea me feel like such shit coming down makin me want more and makes me depressed the next day making me want more. Those effects could easily lead to a habbit and i cant afford a dope and crack habbit! I know quite a few people who would not have robbed or stole from people when they had a dope habbit alone, once they formed a crack habbit all bets were off they'd do anything to get a hit especially when your fiending, makes you into a totally different person.
 
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Well I am on vacation in philly. So I am gonna try and hit up the open air markets tomorrow around 1 in the afternoon. I have a solid idea where to go I just need some freaking good luck. Although I would appreciate any tips locals could offer.
 
Congrats, man. Great story and it keeps me on the right track. I was the same way throughout various Holidays over the years. sometimes I would just sit home and say I went to my GF's house or my friend was having a party.. anything to lie to the parents so they wouldnt see their son junked out at the table.

This was the first year in a while I got to actually eat dinner w/ the fam and was treated like a normal human being. Take it I've only been sober for 3.5 months but things still have changed and they are seeing a new person.

I too am on subs and the family sometimes questions if they are NEEDED and dont fully understand but they are accepting it because of my activities and what has changed in such a brief period of time. father is even willing to co-sign for a new apartment that I am out to get (something that would be unheard of in past).

I know 3 months is still very early but I am seeing things get better and better and NEVER want to go back to where I once was. Just pure fucking misery, man.

Thanks BBT. I've been readin some of your posts and you sound ready to kick your habit once and for all. A lot like you with the benzos . So I had to be vigilant with those too. With me anyway the subs gave me time to get my stuff together. Some days were tougher than others and it was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other until that passed. One thing that kept me going was when a bad day came along I' just keep tellin myself it was only temporary.
 
So i was given an extra $10 off the already discounted price when you buy a half stack(5 bundles) didnt eveb ask for an extta discount he just said "ill do it for $xxx bc ur my boy i dont do thos for nobody else" which im sure is a load of shit but he also did give me an extra rock when i got a dub, he has little $10 bags of hard and usually a dub is 2 but he gave me three of those and an extra $10 off the half stack, this is the same dude whos gave a free b and a half over the last week maybe he just does like me but its most likely cus he wants me to keep goin to him. Anyway i just had one of the biggest cop scares of late...i was on my way home righy after meetin my connect and as i pass a gas station its really bright so tge cops can see into cars, he saw my white ass and started followin me. He followed me all the way onto the high way DIRECTLY behind me like way to close than he shouldve been whilst following me in his cruiser. I was flawless driving so eventually he tailed off but i thought i was gonna get pulled over my heart was beaten so fast
 
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^^^

Yeah man that's a shitty feeling. You gatta just play it cool. They are just waiting for you to fidget, or stuff something somewhere, or do something stupid like run a stop sign, etc.
 
^^^

Yeah man that's a shitty feeling. You gatta just play it cool. They are just waiting for you to fidget, or stuff something somewhere, or do something stupid like run a stop sign, etc.

Yeah it reallly,really sucked i thought for sure i was going down.

Scagnattie did u ever smoke crack alot? I know you were into IV coke but did you ever have a thing for smokin rocks?
 
Yeah it reallly,really sucked i thought for sure i was going down.

Scagnattie did u ever smoke crack alot? I know you were into IV coke but did you ever have a thing for smokin rocks?

I've definitely done my share over the years, but I always preferred IV. Even when I couldn't get soft, only hard, I'd still shoot it 9 times out of 10. Of course, once my veins started getting really fucked up from all the IV coke binges, I started smoking it more often because it was just so much easier.

Plus, I used to be a psychopath and like taking a big shot of coke, then taking a hit of crack as it hit me. Ha. So yeah, I've had my time with it.
 
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