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4-MeO-PCP abuse cause depression,poor recall+learning, or exagerrated clumsy movement

GuybrushThreepwood

GuybrushThreepwood

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Sep 19, 2010
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tl;dr -> Can anyone who has abused 4-MeO-PCP or other close PCP analogues relate their experience with loss of motor coordination, becoming quick to anger or be impatient, inability to learn quickly, speak intelligently, recall words, loss of will power, increased depression, etcetera? Did you recover from your impairments after an extended abstinence? Any trouble with increased, odd or exaggerated or sudden expressive hand gestures while talking, or inability to sit still or relax muscles for long periods? In general fuck they selves up quite badly?

Now the lengthy,whiny non-tl;dr part:

Can anyone who has used a fair amount of 4-MeO-PCP please report as to whether or not they have experienced any depression or the like?

I know there are many anecdotal reports of ketamine, DXM, methoxetamine, and other NMDA antagonists to reduce depression in individuals who respond poorly to traditional antidepressant medications (like SSRIs). I personally have never noticed this effect.

In the past few months my use of 4-MeO-PCP has been a bit reckless. I found myself dosing methoxetamine too often so I stopped purchasing it, figuring the lengthy come down of 4-MeO-PCP would help (maybe force is more apt) me reduce consumption. It has, but still not to the degree I was hoping.

Reports done on NMDA antagonists causing Olney's lesions and similar damage in mice are considered proven, however the same has not been shown in humans. Studies have been done on chimps trying to replicate the damage shown in mice and those experiments were also negative, lending credibility to the hypothesis that Olney's lesions are not as big a risk in humans.

However I have also read that much of the cognitive deficiencies can be explained as a result of depression. Or at least this is one hypothesis I have come across that has some supporting evidence. Likely not proven, though.

Anyhow, I find myself easily upset these days. Impatient. I swear my ability to learn and spell and express myself is significantly worse than it was 10 years ago. I can't tell if this is the normal "slower learning" that occurs with aging past 25 or if it is a result of my drug use.

Can people out there who have used 4-MeO-PCP a dozen or more times please chime in and mention if they have seen any negative effects? I'm am quick to get upset at myself these past couple months, but I don't know if that is because of damage caused by drug use or because I simply am ashamed that I am not in as much control as I would like. I have never been one prone to clinical depression. I am usually quite a happy and easy going person. If not optimistic at least I have never had trouble with suicidal thoughts or wishing to cut or injure myself. But lately... damn. I just don't know. There is nothing in life I enjoy more than learning or deep, intellectual conversation. Literally not a single thing. But I no longer consider myself "smart" or a quick learner. I struggle intensely with basic will power and getting myself motivated to pursue personal projects. I just can't fucking do it. I waste SO MUCH TIME doing NOTHING. Or watching TV, rationalizing it saying that I hope/wish/aim to be a writer so that it is akin to "research". Which is just... fucking ridiculous. But somehow I can get myself to believe it enough to keep on spending way too many hours a day watching television or movies. I don't even read more than a couple hours a day anymore. I don't read as well or as quickly or comprehend as thoroughly as I used to.

Bleh. Please, can anyone else relate their experiences with repeated use of 4-MeO-PCP? Have you noticed anything similar? If I have ruined my ability to learn and in the process ruined any chance I have of ever being a decent writer, well, it's hard to want to keep living. I don't wish to die yet, but I could see things progressing that way if I really am never able to regain a modicum of willpower. My ability to pursue things that do not provide instant gratification is downright atrocious. A crying shame. Where in the fuck did my will power go? Much of this probably has to do with the fact that I simply do not have any friends who still live in the area that are... well.. encouraging, intelligent people that push me to do better. All that remain are people happy with being consumers, never pursuing personal projects or interests.

Jesus this is a whiny post. Damnit me. I take small amounts of benzodiazepines most times I use dissociatives as there are studies showing this reduces neurotoxicity. So hopefully that helps a bit. Can anyone chime in on this at all? Are there any out there who had NMDA antagonist abuse problems for
a while, noticed cognitive impairment, ceased use and found 6-12+ months later their cognitive abilities returning? Can those same people shed any light on how they managed to regain control of their use? Can any chime in on whether my possible link between depression and cognitive impairment is valid or not?

Another side effect I have been noticing lately is a general clumsiness, which I have also read can be a result of damage caused by NMDA/glutamate receptor damage. Perhaps excitotoxicity. I don't know if this is a particularly lasting effect, but I've had the problem for at least the past 4 or 5 days. It seems to linger longer after the experience more than it once did. I also am having trouble... sitting still, or something. My muscles, primarily in my lower legs, feel the need to stretch. My body feels like it wishes to rock in place absentmindedly. I don't know what in the fuck I've done with myself but I don't have the social support at present to really lean on friends to help get me out of this predicament. I'm not even posting under my normal screen name because I'm just too fucking ashamed of myself. For those mods and other users who can see IP addresses of posters, please respect my wishes and do not share my identity. I would appreciate it if you even wouldn't check yourself even though you could. Though I doubt most people have that type of... I don't fucking know, honor, chivalry, personal values, empathy. Whatever the fuck. I am fucking sure I would not have had trouble finding an appropriate word there a couple years ago. Hopefully I am just in an exceedingly, exceedingly piss poor mood lately. And hopefully it will pass. If not.. well... fuck me sideways.

Thanks guys. Sorry for the verbosity.
 
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Well, judging from this post, you still have plenty of ability to express yourself through writing. I doubt you've done any permanent damage to yourself, just stop taking it and give yourself some time to recover. The depression and lack of willpower is most likely your brain's way of telling you that you need to lay off the drugs for a while, it's probably not a sign of something more serious.

(And I can sympathize with being in a depressing living situation, I have the same problem myself...currently I'm trying to figure out how to move to a nice college town somewhere where it will be a little easier for me to connect with people...)
 
The PCP analogs are reabsorbed through bladder walls I think, causing them to build up in your system easily if used on consecutive days. I just stopped using 3-meo-pcp and have been "high" for 8 days since my last dose (75mg snorted). Drink lots of water and add magnesium maybe for faster recovery? Found something about that here http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23402996

Nice day of the tentacle avatar OP by the way, remember that game from when I was little :D
 
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^ That's interesting, recently I've been taking magnesium with my 3-MeO-PCP doses and it seems to help with preventing blood pressure from getting too high (at least, I don't get the throbby feelings in my head and limbs I would normally get w/out magnesium) and with feeling better the next day.
 
Toz said:
The PCP analogs are reabsorbed through bladder walls I think, causing them to build up in your system easily if used on consecutive days. I just stopped using 3-meo-pcp and have been "high" for 8 days since my last dose (75mg snorted). Drink lots of water and add magnesium maybe for faster recovery? Found something about that here http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23402996

Nice day of the tentacle avatar OP by the way, remember that game from when I was little :D
Click to expand...

75mg is a lot of 3-MeO-PCP!
 
I swear my ability to learn and spell and express myself is significantly worse than it was 10 years ago. I can't tell if this is the normal "slower learning" that occurs with aging past 25 or if it is a result of my drug use.
Click to expand...

Use it or lose it as they say, this happens naturally the longer you're outside of an environment that makes thorough use of those faculties. Plus there is an aging thing.

Anyway, dissociative abuse has a deleterious effect on mental health, including causing or exacerbating depression. Things will improve with abstinence, IME.
 
I'm almost strictly a lurker here, this might even be my first post, though I'm kind of a little active on a few other forums. This thread motivated me to come out of the woodwork and post my experiences. Though I've never had any contact with 4-Meo-pcp; my dissociative experiences are mostly limited to MXE alone, besides one or two 3-Meo-pcp tests and one with DXM a long, long time ago.

I really sympathize with just about everything you've said here, OP. Especially this part:

"I struggle intensely with basic will power and getting myself motivated to pursue personal projects. I just can't fucking do it. I waste SO MUCH TIME doing NOTHING."

This could have come straight out of my mouth. I feel the exact same way. I hear people always claiming how disassociates help/even cure depression but that is not the case with me. Recently, after a little less than a year of abuse (I would say I started around sept-oct of '12 but Im not exactly sure) I become EXTREMELY depressed after a night of MXE, and it would sometimes last days; maybe, I dont know; I seldom went more than a few days without. When on it, I would have either feel great and have grand aspirations that I would get my shit together and build a life I've always wanted; or I would feel absolutely terrible about myself and realise I couldnt keep doing this and swear to myself I would change; for me, my girlfriend, my family, my sanity. Neither of those kinds of experiences made me better myself.

Even after I pinpointed MXE as the cause/trigger of the extreme depression I just could not stop with it. So one morning while still in a MXE daze I said enough and dumped my whole bag. For months before I considered slowing down and frequently thought about dumping it but never did. I would guess that it had somewhere in the area of 5-8 grams in it, after getting 22 sometime around last october (again, I dont know, Ive never been too good with judging time, and MXE made it exponentially worse.) I would say I went through a total of like 7 grams before this larger order over a period of a year and a half. So the bulk of my experiences were from the same order; differences in batches could not possibly account for the change in my experiences. I know a lot of other people have went through more in less time, but I knew I was doing too much.

It started lasting longer and longer, with less good effects and tons more bad effects. I would wake up over 14 hours after my last dose and still be dissociated (I never used less than 100 mgs with this batch, probably never more than 200, but kept it at around 100 when I had work the next day, and this was very very good product, many people aggreed, like on par or better than the famed original batch/es.) I would have trouble working effectively and other bad side effects. Mainly memory and socialization, especially at work.

But mostly it was the depression. The terrible, Im-a-hopeless-worthless-fuckup-and-will-always-be kind. I couldnt take it anymore, and getting rid of it was the best decision I've made in a long time. I'm hoping more good decisions will follow. Its been about a week since I got rid of it and I feel much better without that monkey on my back. I'm glad you brought this up so I could share my story and let people know this sort of thing has happened to people. Im gonna try to watch this topic and see what other people think and hear about their experiences.

I would say staying away from dissociatives would be the best option if you are like me, or just getting small amounts at a time with long breaks in between. But I dont blame the chemical, I read up about it and saw that it was best to not do too often or too much, etc (like everything.) But I never heard of a report of feelings/ experiences like mine. I mostly heard of its anti-depressant effects. But for me, it really damaged my psyche and I was content to just lay in bed anesthetized all night, and feeling like a dim witted idiot all day.

But god damn, when it was good, it was fucking GOOD. Its a shame I had to fuck it up.
 
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