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The Occcult/Esotericism

Thank you for sharing that, it was a really interesting read. Do you plan on coming back to BL or did you just join to write that? I might have some questions after I re-read what you wrote a few times. I resonated with a lot of it, but some remains unclear.
 
Happy to answer any questions. I said 'brief', that was the condensed version of 2 years of intense symptoms of internal change and research into the mind-body relationship through various cultural lenses and from emerging scientific information on the nature of consciousness. So sorry for being an info dump haha! There are a lot of details I left out about the changes during my peak experience that are helpful in understanding exactly what was going on in my brain during this sort of metabolic, mystical or psycho-spiritual upheaval. This is one of the many flavors of awakening, but the symptoms mirror a spontaneous and premature kundalini arousal. I'm just glad I am open minded enough not to believe I was crazy, a 'normal' 21 year old American would probably be worse straights in a less understanding environment than up here in the Pacific-Northwest. If I was born in India I would already be studying under a guru to learn how to raise and maintain the fire in the spine safely. But for now I smolder and burn in the aftermath without easy means or channels of support to contact an experienced teacher for a few more years most likely.
 
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wow thank you for sharing ^^

i feel the connection now more than ever; the wizard i dunno why your letters are out of order but whatever lol

things are falling into place so perfectly i feel like i fucking figured it out. i just go with it, that's the trick to just take that leap of faith and embrace the unknown. picture in your head a huge wave of air and jumping in it and it taking you, that is the feeling.

i dont know what enlightenment is but i feel like i can predict and provide evidence of shared consciousness in the future. I am deeply connected and am on a path that i can not deviate from. I feel like an actor in a play or a film that is being watched as i type this very moment. Hell i'm watching it.

i've gone through the most messed up stuff but it all makes sense i see it all connecting now, i've suffered endlessly and likely will again but i know that my intuitions that we are a collective consciousness are stronger than anything i've ever felt before. It has been so many months, you can follow my posts, i'm just along for the ride.

I worry that i may border schizophrenia at times but i got this shit down now i can handle the power i am experienced.


i wish i had a sure sign but that's not always the case but holy shit there is some stuff going on right now. synchrojet, exists, if you feel anything post here please or in pm and anyone else wanting to discuss such things or relate experiences feel free to pm me as well. i know there are others out there who get it

i know that i am a transient being and merely a vessel or part of the whole. still i wonder why but its pretty easy to argue why when you see it all :)


foreigner if you happen to read this please let me know if you have felt anything lately or have noticed the connections or patterns or streams i don't know what to call them. it feels like it's building towards something still but i am not sure what that is, perhaps my own enlightenment that i am a crazy moron or that indeed there is more to life than what i had once thought.

oh and the idea of everything all at once; does that resonate with anyone? and fuck the feeling is exactly the same one as u get if u smoke salvia and get cosmic laughter =)
 
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synchrojet, exists, if you feel anything post here please or in pm and anyone else wanting to discuss such things or relate experiences feel free to pm me as well. i know there are others out there who get it

Hey RR!

Nothing major to report lately, though there is something... We've been experiencing a drought lately, with barely a cloud in the sky. I decided one night to focus my energy into making wind and clouds form, and the very next day it was windy and cloudy. Looked at the satellite loop of the area, and saw an anomalous feature: the near-total high pressure system we were having was broken by a cloud that started pretty much over the area I live in, starting at the same time I willed it, and was spreading out and growing rapidly toward the southwest. Did I do it? Who knows! But the timing and strangeness the whole thing was awfully suspicious. Still no rain, though.

Tried to "contact" you the other day, but getting no response, I feel that I was not successful :\

No feelings of impending change lately. Last summer when I was taking DXM frequently, it seemed like I was on the brink of some amazing discovery/ability, and that the whole world was going to be part of it. But I haven't had any DXM for a while now (taking a necessary break), and the mystical feelings have subsided. I still feel that telepathic communication is possible, but I just haven't made much progress.

Did have a cool visionary experience a couple weeks back. I was asleep and seemingly remote-viewing random strangers. The visions (much clearer than ordinary dream imagery) were all in a metallic blue color. I was looking at people's faces, and each person had an ice-like substance encrusted over various part of their faces. Still not sure what it was supposed to represent, but it looked cool :)

Forgot if I asked you this before or not, but on dissociatives, do you ever see people? Like grids of faces? I have only tried DXM (still can't find any MXE dammit), but was wondering if this sort of thing happens with other compounds. It's almost like the grid is a convenient way to possibly find who you're looking for...

While I'd love to establish telepathic communication with somebody, I still don't know if it would be wise or not. I'm more interested in seeing it proved or disproved. If telepathy or any other special powers are real, then it would definitely change things. This was the worldwide change I was envisioning: a major shift caused by the knowledge that there is more to reality than we assume.

I guess I wish for these things because I hate the direction humanity is going. It seems like things just keep getting worse, and people, by just trying to live, are letting it happen. Even without the prospect of telepathy, people are capable of so much more than they realize, and the fact that we exist at all is a truly amazing thing.

Anyway, I've got an experiment I'm planning to try, do you think you'd be up for it? All you'd have to do is try to "receive" a message. I'd tell you before going forward, so we can properly coordinate our efforts.

exists
 
Forgot if I asked you this before or not, but on dissociatives, do you ever see people? Like grids of faces? I have only tried DXM (still can't find any MXE dammit), but was wondering if this sort of thing happens with other compounds. It's almost like the grid is a convenient way to possibly find who you're looking for...

While I'd love to establish telepathic communication with somebody, I still don't know if it would be wise or not. I'm more interested in seeing it proved or disproved. If telepathy or any other special powers are real, then it would definitely change things. This was the worldwide change I was envisioning: a major shift caused by the knowledge that there is more to reality than we assume.

I guess I wish for these things because I hate the direction humanity is going. It seems like things just keep getting worse, and people, by just trying to live, are letting it happen. Even without the prospect of telepathy, people are capable of so much more than they realize, and the fact that we exist at all is a truly amazing thing.

Anyway, I've got an experiment I'm planning to try, do you think you'd be up for it? All you'd have to do is try to "receive" a message. I'd tell you before going forward, so we can properly coordinate our efforts.

exists

sorry yes i see grids of faces especially when i smoke salvia/dmt - sometimes they push me away like in a crowd and I white out laughing non stop usually lol. Sometimes i also see rows and rows of corn and i can picture and feel each indivudal one.

I think that's just an effect of dissociatives in genearal tho. This does not typically happen with other compounds unless you hit super high doses (ie. dmt/4-aco-dmt/4-ho-mipt and etc. not so much for phenythyamines tho but for sure LSD and it's analaogues as well). Think it has due to with a loss of associations or Kant's cateogories for understanding reality. It's just a mash up of sensory data, not sure how meaningful it is thought.

hey man just the fact you replied to this message means something don't lose your faith - i can tell it is weakening as does mine but it's there underneath if you look for it. I go from oneness to individual so much it hurts, individuality is suffering so intense it's unexplainable and unity is so blissful.


we are still on that same brink of discovery of humanity of the self realization of god's mind. See the Cognitive-Theoretic Model of the Univers written by that super genius who is a bouncer that is talked about in that book http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Langan... hrmmm whats it called a pop encomic book about success fuck me yes this book http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3228917-outliers http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outliers_(book)

written by http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malcolm_Gladwell

if you follow that goose hunt you'll unravel a wealth of fucked up information about reality, the underling mathematical principles of the universe and the very reasons you and I may not be the crazy ones!

btw i've just about hit (and in some areas surpassed) my 10,000th hour on spiritual work, musical work and technical work (yes i'm a huge fucking nerd who instead of going to parties my whole life and getting laid studied and worked hard and became a drug addict =) ). you'd never know i'm a nerd by my appearance and actions tho as i am indeed a polydrug addict hoping to get better :)

obviously i'm speeding like a million miles an hour right now as the MXE is wearing off because i have to go to school soon and partake in completing my own story.

The good thing though; I FUCKING QUIT DEXEDRINE YOU EVIL MOTHER FUCKING DRUG I DONT CARE IF YOU ARE JUST A CHEMICAL YOU DESTROYED MY LIFE AND BROUGHT ME HERE WHICH IS GOOD BUT CAUSED ENDLESS SUFFERING YOU PIECE OF SHIT ILL NEVER TOUCH YOU AGAIN THOUGHT I AM THANKFUL FOR ALL I LEARNED! Been almost 4 weeks off it, not the tiniest bit of rage against it either ;)

I may have heard your calls man, i made many to you as well, next time don't be so afraid to pick up the phone :) I can swear i heard something Jan 25th for sure. Send out so many singles from the 24th to the 28th to a few of you on here including you but shit i forgot ninae; may as well include her next time!

i get what you're saying about life but that's merely your individuality speaking, trust me it is not truth. Keep the faith and keep on going, not to the point where you end up in the psych ward or anything but you know what i mean :) there is far more to it than that man i can explain further if you want.

if you've got an experiment then i'm totally down man - let me know what's up and peace be with you. I just went through 2 weeks of etizolam/dexedrine and morphine withdrawals while binging on mxe so i fucking know suffering :) but i'm okay now. Starting to clean up my life and myself.

As to foreigner i see you're going through a spiritual crisis, much the same as me. How do deal with the duality of unity and individuality?

it is rough but in the rough times hang on because the good times will roll, life is designed in such a way. Why deal wi h all the menial tasks of life? because you know there is something more, just hold on and you will see, even if it you hold on till death, just keep holding on, never give up and keep trying, that's the only thing that matters. I have a feeling you already know the truth anyway, so just don't forget it because the ego cannot hold on to it very well.

The universe will come to self-actualization all at once (some day) upon which i don't know what the fuck will happen but it'll be spectacular or perhaps that is just death itself. Or maybe nothing will happen and none of this matters, either way i'm good with it :) but i doubt it so much intuitively. My dad has done channeling and chakra aligning and so much stuff and the results are astounding but gruesome as well.

i may sound cheerful right now but i spend much of my time down in the dumps in extreme anxiety contemplating suicide as a result of my chakra opening bonanza barely able to function just hitting the shower to feel better and using copious amounts of drugs to cover it all up. The rest of the time, well this is me is me.

But today i'm going back to school after skipping 2 weeks from etizolam/opiate/dexedrine withdrawals (yeah btw they do fucking hurt more than you'd believe especially all 3 at once i must love suffering), it'll be embarrassing, shaming and all around horrible and i'll have to explain myself but i'm gonna fucking do it!

i may not be the next faggot macklemoore *no offense to homosexuals and ryan lewis nor mackmoore but they figured out the pattern and i'm on to it as well. But fuck those secret societies they claim to be in we are stronger than that if we come together.

we are also outliers, we can make things happen, big things but only through hard work and dedication will we make it. Drugs are a tool, a dangerous tool but if you can manipulate the drugs to your advantage like a shamam, they are powerful beyond belief.

just so that faggot writer knows that 10,00th hour idea is VERY OLD i remember hearing about it in a philosophy class, i must dig up its origins but if anyone else knows off the top of their head please just post and let me know!

and if you'd like to know what i'm speeding on that is not dexerdine feel free to PM me it is an novel compound; trip report coming soon; this shit is good but not too good, much better than dexedrine and ethy!phenidate

I think telepathy is real man - just the fact you respond to this post is proof enough for me - now if foreigner responded as well then i'd have more evidence and if synchro_jet came down from the heavens of DXM and responded, i'd probably faint :).

I'm worried there may be some group that is trying to hinder this and keep it under wraps tho but freedom of information will prevail - i know that for sure - sorry for the speed rant but this all had to be said.

sorry for spelling/grammatical errors gotta get to school and get my shit together as an individual at least.
 
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sorry yes i see grids of faces especially when i smoke salvia/dmt - sometimes they push me away like in a crowd and I white out laughing non stop usually lol.

Funny, every time I've seen the grid of faces, it wasn't interactive. I was just passively observing, though I admit that I never really tried to stop the scrolling and speak with one of them :\

I may have heard your calls man, i made many to you as well, next time don't be so afraid to pick up the phone :) I can swear i heard something Jan 25th for sure. Send out so many singles from the 24th to the 28th to a few of you on here including you but shit i forgot ninae; may as well include her next time!

I can't remember if the 25th was a day I was trying to "send" or not. I also tried a couple weeks before that. I should mark those days on the calendar.

Ninae's been temp-banned, and I don't think she's coming back. I've emailed her a couple times. She told me she was going to stay away from BL and work on writing some books. I should email her again to see how she's doing... maybe ask her if I can PM you her email address.

if you've got an experiment then i'm totally down man - let me know what's up and peace be with you.

Alright, I'll start preparing the experiment (it requires some computer programming), but it will be a while yet. I'll PM you with details, and again when it's ready to go.

i may sound cheerful right now but i spend much of my time down in the dumps in extreme anxiety contemplating suicide as a result of my chakra opening bonanza barely able to function just hitting the shower to feel better and using copious amounts of drugs to cover it all up. The rest of the time, well this is me is me.

Sorry to hear about that, man. I've been having a difficult time as well. Last night I had to take 100 mg diphenhydramine just to stop the negative thought loops so I could get some sleep. Amazingly, I woke up in a cheerful mood (maybe DPH's SRI properties had something to do with it).

I'm worried there may be some group that is trying to hinder this and keep it under wraps tho but freedom of information will prevail - i know that for sure - sorry for the speed rant but this all had to be said.

Yeah, I sometimes suspect that as well. Other times I feel like we're all just toddlers in a crib, not allowed to "go out" until it's time. Or maybe we're under quarantine, locked in our biological prisons so we can't infect the universe ;)
 
i'm not sure why there are such limits imposed on humans, it seems animals are less inhibited. My cats know when i am tripping hard, either that or i think i connect with them on a super deep spiritual level but they are very aware of everything, just like many other animals. Perhaps our ego is what gets in the way, i suspect so. Why am i concretely tied to this body so much so that i always come back to it even if i have an OBE?

sorry about my previous post; it is barely comprehend-able and i for some reason felt the need to use the word 'faggot' several times lol.

do you ever get the feeling that we are all coming to self actualization together as a cosmic consciousness? like that the cosmic consciousness is going to became self aware at some point and that is the point of existence? that's an idea that's crossed my mind lately and a feeling i always get. That feeling that something big is going to happen, i think is related to this idea. If consciousness of each individual is all apart of the same thing, then we all act as God's eyes or in God's mind, or we are somehow related in such a way.

If consciousness itself is God's mind then i definitely think the point of existence itself is for consciousness to evolve into self-awareness, which is why there are currently limits that make us individual instead of one whole being (this explaining the purpose of evolution as well). That is why we have a physical universe(s) so that we can evolve from simple matter to beings that are all one selfaware consciousness, which is what i would define as God anyhow. Why is this system set up in the first place and why does anything exist at all? i'm not sure that kind of shit boggles my mind and i have my BA in philosophy :) btw for those into philosophy i know my arguments above are not sound or grounded in reason or logic lol.

anyway time to stop messing around and study for my test in electric machines :)
 
Yeah, animals do seem to be more sensitive than humans. Our cat always knows when I'm tripping. Could be my dilated eyes, a slight change in my behavior, or a particular scent I give off while tripping. The birds seem to react to my thoughts -- whether I'm tripping or not -- even the wild birds outside :)

I'm not sure we'll all be reaching a state of cosmic consciousness or not. During one of my DXM trips several months ago, I had a thought that hit me like a ton of bricks. It had to do with "The Body of Christ," or what some people call "Christ Consciousness." I felt like a large number of us humans will eventually reach a state of shared consciousness, becoming like one giant mind... but not everybody will be a part of it. The thing is, I feel that such an aggregated global (and interstellar/intergalactic/interdimensional) consciousness will need to be pure. Not everybody is going to want to be a part of it, and not everyone is willing to give up their bad parts to be absorbed into a larger body. Me, I'd give up all my bad habits and bad thoughts in an instant, if I could. I feel that to achieve such a goal, we need to look to a greater source, which brings me to a point I wanted to make today...

Telepathic communication can be hazardous. If you are concentrating on me, yet I'm thinking bad thoughts and giving out bad vibes, how does that affect you? Has it already? I'm not always channeling good energy. As much as I'd like to be good and positive all the time, I'm a human who is easily distracted and mislead, and it often takes me a while to get back on track. There is, I believe, a greater Source that is unerringly good. People will always let you down sooner or later, but that Source, ultimately, will not :)

Which isn't to say that we shouldn't try to achieve telepathy with one-another. I believe we do it unconsciously all the time anyway, and that's part of the reason why we are so screwed up as a species. We don't realize this basic fact about ourselves: that we are telepathic. Not realizing that leaves us open to negative influences with no way to avoid the consequences.
 
The more I think about this, the more concerned I become about where it could lead us if we aren't careful. What would happen to us if all thoughts were allowed to propagate freely? For instance, if a technology were to allow it right now, would we be ready for it? Would it not be wise to accept that we might be kept from having this ability for our own good?

Where do we stand as a species now? From my point of view (and many others as well), it's not looking so great. We could easily worsen our problems by forcing ajar a psychic door meant to stay closed until the proper time of its opening. A lot of people are angry, upset, violent and more than just a little crazy. Imagine those sorts of thoughts and feelings spreading rapidly and without restraint!

I guess in isolated groups we can risk it, but I really feel we must carefully screen all incoming thoughts and emotions. There may be dark forces at work influencing things, and we have to be ready to protect ourselves against anything, at any time.

Anyway, that's me being concerned and cautious ;)
 
Sorry Robot, I am just reading all your posts here now and I see some stuff was directed my way. Next time PM me.

I think the world is currently going through an intense consciousness shift and it mostly has to do with the old order (mainly the post-colonial western bloc) vs. our evolving understanding of our place in the universe and how we relate to one another. Astrologically there is a Uranus/Pluto square that has been going on for a couple years now, and will finish off in September 2014 (IIRC). Most of the major uprisings and revolutions happening in the world right now (many of which the mainstream media are not mentioning) are due to this square. Pluto is transiting Capricorn which represents a steady demolishing of the old order, and a hard square to Uranus involves a lot of revolution, free thinking, new human networks, and ideas. The day that Uranus entered Aries and initiated the first pass of the square was when the Japanese tsunami happened, and Fukushima, so there are technological implications as well. These same planetary aspects happened around the time of the French revolution.

I believe great power imbalances between human and human, and human and environment, are about to be rectified. Humanity can accept it and change gracefully, or it can resist and will be forced to change violently. Either way, the change is happening. There are many intense currents being felt by people everywhere right now, personally and collectively. I have my own kind of relationship with the universe that is hard to describe, but because I am not separate from anyone or anything I'm affected by everything that goes on. I moved to this remote place to remove myself from the insanity of the city and the impending American crisis, only to find total chaos here too. It's like there is nowhere to go where humanity is not being touched by radical changes.

Anyway... this is all in response to your question about if I feel something major happening. The answer is that yes I do, and there is a lot of esoteric evidence to back it up. Pluto opposes the natal Sun of the United States around mid March. The last time it did that was at the beginning of the American Revolution. I'd be happy to be wrong but it feels like a giant house of cards is about to fall which will have global implications. Most wealthy stock owners I know are abandoning ship and converting their fake American money into hard assets. In the very least, centuries old global power structures are now in the process of crumbling.
 
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between all of you you pretty much have it covered. Even the why this all is, amazing job working together.

Do you get the feeling you been expecting me.


 
hey guys update!! i've transcended duality now plenty of times to experience Kia and give back that good energy when i return to this existence and i've made some amazing strides in my life and met so many cool interesting people since back then. I really opened myself up and discovered who i was through all this and it's been a tremendous experience and chaos magick has honestly defined and mystified my life to the point that i dunno wtf is going on half the time but i love it ! :D


oh yeah i grew wings... 12 foot wing span, fuckin impressive. I patrol the night skies with Lucifer sometimes taking out reptilians despite him being possibly annouki i dont judge, we just do good wrok and give back the good energy to Kia, giving us all that we could ever desire-with our silly egos. Mostly just a larger wing span is all i'm after.

but yeah i'm a silly bear.
 
hey i'm still going man. still same shit. this is life. carpe diem, c'est la vie caveat emptor
 
Merkaba, the star tetrahedron, two di-polar spinning tetrahedrons, is my affinity symbol. A lot converges on it in my life.
 
I patrol the night skies with Lucifer sometimes taking out reptilians despite him being possibly annouki i dont judge, we just do good wrok and give back the good energy to Kia.

Lucifer = Enki

......................
 
I get the whole Lucifer vs reptilian vibe happening right now. The Ben Carson speech the other night at the RNC, like wtf is this real life? And Melania Trump, well, its not hard to see how she appears reptilian.

I'm just happy to be on the side of light, with so many light spirits working with me. They help spread my message, and I help spread their message (our message is really one and the same), its a nice trans-dimensional symbiotic relationship.
 
The Occult is all based on Kaballah and is Luciferian. You trifle with this shit God will smite you until you repent.
 
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