Mental Health How do you deal with people who don't understand mental health?

[Jabberwocky]

Hi guys,

how do you deal with people who don't understand mental health such as depression / anxiety. I've been a long term sufferer of depression and anxiety and have been on medication and seeing psychs for the past few years now. Whenever I tell my parents I have this problem my mum attacks me telling me that I'm stupid to not see anyone, to not take medication (She herself is a long time sufferer of depression but never wants to admit it and considers pouring tears every day about little things to be normal), through my years and experiences with this illness I try to pass her on info and she says she has nothing wrong and considers people with mental issues as only being those who live in a mental house.

Other people who don't understand this illness is my older brother, he always thinks I'm putting it on and just seeking attention, I guess he's fed up and doesn't know how to deal with it so takes on this approach. I try to explain to him what it's like to wake up and not being able to physically do anything then he argues and goes well you can get up to call someone, you can get up to go to the shops etc.

So what's the solution?

 

[FnX]

I try to explain with the best of my capability to the people who don't understand the fact that they don't understand because often these people have the idea that they understand somehow better. Most of us have some kind of experiences that we know others simply wouldn't understand unless they have been through the same, it is these kinds of experiences that one should appeal to when trying to explain what it feels like, because even if a person is not familiar with mental health issues they usually can relate to the idea of others not understanding certain things and what kind of respect is necessary in such a situation.

 

[Libby]

Do they need to understand?
You understand, your doctor/s understand, and you have a treatment plan?
If yes to the second line, then yay?
Why speak about your mental health to family instead of health professionals?
I don't feel disapointed if my bank teller doesn't understand my coffee prefrence.
Mwa

 

[ad lib]

i tend to keep things such as my mental health to myself for the reasons that you have stated, noonoo.

people are ignorant about mental health because they do not understand. if we do not understand something, it is easy for us to jump to conclusions. why is it that you like to share these things with your family?

 

[brutus]

I just typically ignore a great deal of people and keep opinions to myself since there's so many ignorant/stupid people in the world that can't wrap their heads around foreign ideas.

 

[herbavore]

I guess I am the opposite. I find that I want to talk about mental illness with as many people as I can simply because there are so many misconceptions about it. I was diagnosed with mental illness and hospitalized as a teenager. At first I was angry and defensive about it but as time went on I began to really get interested in both what I had been experiencing (was it really mental illness or was it a very fragile state of mind? Since the so-called treatment ranged from useless to damaging, what would be better?) Years later becoming a mother and watching my son struggle with similar issues only deepened my resolve to add my voice to the maddeningly simplistic (and fear/big pharma-controlled) conversation about mental illness. We live in dangerous times when children as young as three are being diagnosed with mental illness and put on serious mind altering drugs. The more those of us affected speak up--even if we don't always agree with each other--the better. The ignorance is frustrating but changing minds by expanding awareness is rewarding and it does happen. I have noticed a big shift in the conversations about ADD in the teacher's lounge at my school ever since I revealed my own diagnosis. Letting them know that I have been hospitalized was a bit harder but I'm glad I did. I know that I opened a few minds that day and in the end it benefits me. Living without shame or secrets is important to me.

For anyone that wants to be inspired, watch this.

 

[RobotRipping]

Hi guys,

how do you deal with people who don't understand mental health such as depression / anxiety. I've been a long term sufferer of depression and anxiety and have been on medication and seeing psychs for the past few years now. Whenever I tell my parents I have this problem my mum attacks me telling me that I'm stupid to not see anyone, to not take medication (She herself is a long time sufferer of depression but never wants to admit it and considers pouring tears every day about little things to be normal), through my years and experiences with this illness I try to pass her on info and she says she has nothing wrong and considers people with mental issues as only being those who live in a mental house.

Other people who don't understand this illness is my older brother, he always thinks I'm putting it on and just seeking attention, I guess he's fed up and doesn't know how to deal with it so takes on this approach. I try to explain to him what it's like to wake up and not being able to physically do anything then he argues and goes well you can get up to call someone, you can get up to go to the shops etc.

So what's the solution?

IME there is no solution. It's impossible to get someone either in denial or who hasn't experienced such issues to relate to you, they just don't know or don't want to know your suffering. It sucks but same shit happens to me. I just keep it to myself, find other people like me to relate to instead.

What medications aren't you taking anyway? shitty SSRIs and such? Therapy does help IMO, i went through it and it really changed me, so going to see someone and just talking things out, whether they are a counselor or a psychologist is helpful.

Your mom probably just doesn't want to accept that something about her created a problem in you, either genetically or through raising you, it's not her fault though but she may not realize that. I had to tell my Dad that it wasn't his fault i'm fucked in the head, it was going to happen no matter what. After that and a talk about how we share symptoms, we reached understanding. Things are better now.

I'd suggest that approach and for your brother, well one day everyone experiences anxiety and depression, they may not know what it is but they will feel it (even if for a temporary time). Maybe you can tell him your symptoms rather than your disorder and he could relate. If that doesn't work, just keeping it to yourself and finding other outlets will be your best option.

it'd be great to just educate them and solve the real issue at hand but that would likely require some open minds and a group therapist. That would be ideal but in a world that isn't always ideal, you have to just make the best of it.

 

[herbavore]

I'd suggest that approach and for your brother, well one day everyone experiences anxiety and depression, they may not know what it is but they will feel it (even if for a temporary time). Maybe you can tell him your symptoms rather than your disorder and he could relate. If that doesn't work, just keeping it to yourself and finding other outlets will be your best option.

I love the idea of talking about what it feels like (your symptoms) rather than your diagnosis. Unfortunately, as robot says, there will still be a disconnect until your brother actually feels that state himself but he is also right that most of us experience depression at some point in our lives. I know that for me, though I was well acquainted with sadness and anxiety and despair, I had never really experienced depression until after my son died. I learned that sadness and depression are about as far apart as a little skirmish on the border and a full-scale protracted world war. One of the first things I did was to call my sister and tell her that I finally understood the symptoms she had lived with her whole life. Even now, I carry this awareness that I was able to walk out of the other side of depression while for her it is a lifelong state that she must manage every single day.

 

[drscience]

My mom harasses me about being prescribed psychiatric medication...I can't stand it. She drinks wine an that's all fine for her. Hypocrite.

 

[Libby]

People seem to look at both mental illness and sexually transmitted illnesses much less rationally than other types of illnesses for some reason.
If a person were to get a chest infection and the doctor prescribed them for it, people view this for what it is and accept/support this.
If your illness is mental, even if the exact same situation occurs, you have an illness that is treatable and take a prescription for it , most people will not reach the same conclusion of acceptance/support of.

Similarly if a person caught chlaymidia for example, many people would get all kinds of negative ideas going on, despite fact that all you do is at your next regular check up, it's picked up before any symptoms, you take one pill, don't fuck anyone for a week and boom perfect health again, if you think about it it's much preferable to a chest infection, but I have feeling everyone reading this would much prefer the pain and wheezing and lost productivity of the chest infection to swallowing one pill and having the irrational negative wierdness of a sex related illness. Mental health is the same, superstitious ppl are weirded out by thinking outside average experience of thought and they are weirded out by sexuality lol. Guess that's what religion is all about in essense.. if in doubt just remember: Don't think, and don't fuck anyone! Because the logical formula gets thrown out the window here for no reason/mysterious reasons and all sorts of invisible intangible consequences replace cause and effect... for no reason/mysterious reasons... like... demons/evil spirits/bad juju/karma cursing your experience to the end of your life and even after that in ....reincarnations/eternal hell-fire/purgatory/insert greatest fear here... hahaha.
Because if anything is going to ensure our doom it'd be thinking and sex of course, its not like these two qualities are exactly why our species has become what you and I both are here, and now. If you point that out you've failed your primary task of not thinking, may ___ have mercy on your "soul" (totally not just another way of describing your mind. Souls feel not think, nevermind that emotions are thoughts. We totally cannot understand eachother if we have a different word to label what we both unwittingly agree to know *eye roll*).

Its probable (in my "mentally ill" opinion lol) that your family understands feeling unhappy not "depression" and that you don't realize they indeed do understand you, because they don't understand your communications. Why not just have a hug instead of speaking. Language is inefficient (meaning: I am not good at it ahem). If I had family who loved me I'd do a hug instead of explain. I'm sure if they understood everything I tried to express I'd still find something to be displeased about in that anyhow. Having no identity of my own and nothing to add to general understanding. Total redundancy of my existance... Something along that track. If you have depression, or as others concieve of it feeling unhappy for most of the time instead of normal percentage of time, you'll find something else to be unhappy about too. I've realised that I enjoy focussing on negatives, it makes me feel like I am doing important business, the positive things to be happy about clearly aren't as much of a threat and the unpleasant issues take priority of attention - so as to reduce the resulting damages as much as possible. I am safer this way. I am not technically unhappy, I am happy because feeling safe makes me feel happy. I am doing the best possible job of preserving my survival. If I get stagnant from unhappiness from now on, I think I'll just remind myself I'm actually happy and therefore that thought is no longer a priority and I can now move on to the next task. Nice plan, job done. Try it too maybe (disclaimer: ask ur dr first, in case i inadvertantly give bad advice due to being mental)

 

[AK-MJM]

Hi guys,

how do you deal with people who don't understand mental health such as depression / anxiety. I've been a long term sufferer of depression and anxiety and have been on medication and seeing psychs for the past few years now. Whenever I tell my parents I have this problem my mum attacks me telling me that I'm stupid to not see anyone, to not take medication (She herself is a long time sufferer of depression but never wants to admit it and considers pouring tears every day about little things to be normal), through my years and experiences with this illness I try to pass her on info and she says she has nothing wrong and considers people with mental issues as only being those who live in a mental house.

Other people who don't understand this illness is my older brother, he always thinks I'm putting it on and just seeking attention, I guess he's fed up and doesn't know how to deal with it so takes on this approach. I try to explain to him what it's like to wake up and not being able to physically do anything then he argues and goes well you can get up to call someone, you can get up to go to the shops etc.

So what's the solution?

Why do you feel the need to make people understand? This type of behavior is making other think that you are seeking attention and looking for sympathy its just the way some people are, so in a way, your causing more issues with your family. So ask yourself are you just trying to inform them? or are you in fact trying to spark a conversation that you yourself can benefit from it, like your own treatment in a way. Your mother has to come to terms in her own way, as you did, and the sad part is she may never do so.

Millions of people go day to day untreated and they suffer for it. As for your older brother, well he may just be just feeling the same way, and if he confided in his little brother or sister it would show that he was week and leave himself open. So he is just putting up a tough guy act and he don't like to see you like this and that is his way of dealing with it maybe.

I feel the solution is to not tell anyone or try to school them, other then your Doctors that are already treating you. As long as you feel the medications are helping and you are getting better its not your place to make people believe. You have to fix yourself fist in order to help others, and some you just cant help.

This is my opinion.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

Accept their ignorance.

 

[Tude]

Accept their ignorance.

This. You can't get everyone to see your point-of-view. Don't make yourself miserable. You could try to find others more open-minded to talk to.

 

[China Rider]

the more we talk about it, the quicker people will understand/accept it

there's no way to have someone who doesn't suffer from depression/anxiety to understand it, don't even try

I try to tell people to look at mental health enthusiasts the same way as other people that are conscious of their health, such as people maintaining a strict healthy diet and people that are really into cardio/weight lifting

maybe limit your openness to people who already have respect for you

making attempts to self educate on mental health ideas is a sign of strength and far from a weakness, no reason not to take pride in being able to recognize a problem and discover ideas to cope with it

some people are unable to escape traditional views and can't help but abstain in behavior that makes them appear vulnerable, eventually they'll probably find out the hard way how valuable it is to ask for help

 

[Sprout]

I give up trying these days, the prefixes "psycho" and "schizo" seem to destroy people's opinions thanks to the fucking media. All mentally ill people decapitate their children!!!!!

 

[weekend addiction]

Whenever I tell people I'm bipolar they assume I get pissed off easily. Which isn't true at all. Theres such a stigma people often say that someone who is rude or angry is "bipolar" as an insult. So I don't tell people about it. I do admit to ADD cause its one of the only socially acceptable mental disorders (compared to the others).

 

[RobotRipping]

yeah having ADD is cool if anything these days. Funny how that happens and bipolar/ptsd/anxiety/schizophrenia are stigmatized. I have 0 problems telling people i have ADD, i don't tell them i am scripted what is essentially speed though. However i do not tell people that i have derealization, depersonalization and the odd psychotic break here and there. I won't even admit i am a drug addict to most people because they just don't understand.

socially accepted mental disorders, now that's a fucked up thought.

 

[Lady Codone]

I couldn't care less whether people believe in the validity of MY mental illness. What sucks is when people deny their own psychological problems. You know the type: lives a dangerously chaotic life but thinks everyone ELSE is the problem. Believes psychiatry is a hoax (which it has become to some degree) and refuses to acknowledge their own instability.

These people go through life creating unnecessary drama because they're ignorant to the facts about mental illness. Nobody wants to be diagnosed as "crazy", but knowing that your problems have a name--and that other people share them--is so empowering.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

I try not to deal with them

Usually there's someone with power over them who understands

 

[calebtrask]

I think the easy answer is to just ignore their criticism and accept that some people will just refuse to be reasoned with when it comes to psychiatry. That said, if you're hesitant to do this, I can definitely empathize - my family has a similarly narrow viewpoint when it comes to seeking psych/medication help. For me, accepting that my family isn't really supportive of how I go about treatment has been one of the hardest things to deal with. I would say that rather than thinking about it as "ignoring them", instead maybe just say that you happen to need to find others that help fill that role. That's my mentality approaching it, and it's a lot less damning to think "I just need to find an understanding friend/support group/therapist" than to think about it like my family has rejected/undermined how I feel about treatment.

It's not fair that the world is like this, but in my case, my own struggle with PTSD/major depression has taken an emotional toll on my family. Not really understanding the disorder or how it's treated has caused a lot of confusion for my loved ones, and they've lashed out in similar ways to what you described. They were the first ones I turned to when I needed help, and it was extremely frustrating and hurtful when they shot me down. However, fixating on that and feeling angry/hopeless over it has never gotten me any closer to getting the right treatment. Not saying this is easy - it absolutely isn't - but I couldn't make progress until I was able to accept it and started trying to find other means of emotional support. Maybe one day they'll understand, but making my recovery contingent on that just ended up making my issues worse.