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The Suicide Support Thread

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@tnw ~im all ears if u ever need a place 2 vent.. The regulars in this thread will vouch 4 me.. Just know that you're not alone in the way you feel.. Idk you story but I know I've got mine, and feeling " better" is a slow process..hell I'm working on it myself..
Ff, plz, to pm/ add me anytime..

<3
 
no pagey i didn't think thats what you meant i was just making a point that we all deserve happiness
 
i'm doing pretty good right now i'm still sick but i got my dilaudid today and it's helped my cough a lot and i'm not in as much pain obviously
 
thats good news i'm not sure how long i'm gonna be sick for it's been almost a week now
 
That was one guy that attended high school with me, he commited suicide last year. I feel so envy of him right now and I admire his courage.
 
^It could definitely be the medication. Try to ride it out knowing that it is not based on anything more than than the temporary effects of the chemicals in your brain.

As far as the addiction goes, you are a beautiful young woman that got caught in the neck of addiction. You can swim free but you have to have faith in yourself. I used to wish that I could see 20 years in the future when I was young. Now I know what a false picture I would have gotten. Would that picture have shown me joyously becoming a mother, being in love, working at a job I loved or would it have landed in the terrible times when my heart was broken or I was working in some meaningless drudgery or I was scared out of my mind watching my son fall into his addiction? It would be a pretty arbitrary lens I think. The whole fabric of your life is what matters. The dark and horrible times inform and shape the depth of the good and peaceful parts of life. The only thing that matters is now. Now is what shapes and strengthens us for whatever the future will bring. Take care of yourself, sweet girl.<3
 
Thanks Herb <3 you're so wise and sweet.

Maybe it is a good thing that we can't 'see' into the future..I can speculate all I want but it probably will be the total opposite of what will actually happen. That quote is what I'm going to start living by "now is what strengthens and shapes us for whatever the future will bring". That really hit me, in a good way :)

I sort of did a taper off the meds now because I suspect that's what may have been causing it, so I'm feeling a *little* better, but still not completely.

Hope everything is going well in your life too <3
 
Flowers,
I get that way also. Is there anything you can do 2 keep yourself busy, and try 2 not focus on it? I know how bad the shit sucks, or maybe try and sleep day away although that wouldn't be very helpful, ime.
 
i borrowed some xanax from my dad i just hope it's enough to make me feel better
 
Hadn't been here in a while as things have globally been looking up but I just feel so horrible right now...I got into a huge fight with my mom over the phone. It was so stupid, too. I announced to my parents the other day that I'm getting a tattoo in a few days and my dad reacted really badly, was really mean about it blablabla. I told him it's my decision as I'm an adult and it's my money, which he reluctantly accepted but I dunno - it was just the fact that once again, he has to be unsupportive about something that means a lot to me. I'm getting a symbol that represents the band that literally saved my life, and the name of my best friend who died. These tattoos are incredibly important to me and he had to bring me down, like with everything else I've ever done and with every other decision I've ever made. And then my mom was trying to defend him on the phone, was taking his side etc and I just snapped...and I feel so guilty because I know how much it hurts her when we fight, and I feel like I have some sort of responsibility over her because she's suicidal and all that.
And now I just feel lonely and I want to go home. I hate my new life here. All my real friends are in Paris and I'm stuck in London where I know no one.
I know it sounds petty but I dunno...must have just brought up some stuff.
My neck injury has also been acting up this past week and I've just been in constant pain but I can't be prescribed anything anymore since I made the mistake of telling my doctor about my drug past.
And I want to use constantly but I know I can't and it's torturing me.
I just want to bury myself somewhere and die.
 
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