But what if that hole cant be filled?
Like a father that was never there
Or a girlfriend you dont have
Or physical and emotional abuse you will never forget
Or the lack of acceptance
Or never being good enough
OR any other thing that someone craves, or dosent have and wishes to acquire?
All these things are difficult to deal with, but all can be dealt with.
Let's take the example of abuse, since it is one of the hardest on your list, if not the hardest of all, and I will discuss my own history.
I was abused emotionally and (borderline) physically as a child.
I spent my early 20's trying to forget it.
By my late 20's, I began to deal with it.
I spent my early 30's focused on dealing with it.
After enough effort and time, I dealt with it.
Finally, after more than 5 years of therapy and intensive self-work, in one tremendous act, summoning up all my courage, I called my mother on the phone, as she was headed into the surgery room, and forgave her for everything.
100%. Finished.
I felt like I lost 20 pounds that minute. That was several years ago, and I never gained it back.
I could have held on to the abuse forever, if I had wanted to.
Many people do.
It gives them a certain power, to have been abused.
They, and others, feel that they somehow "deserve" special treatment.
They can relate to people via this wound. "You have been abused, too?"
They don't want to get rid of it.
They define themselves in this way.
I didn't want to be like that. I wanted to be healed.
So I found a way to forgive everything, and I moved on.
My father was almost never there. It hurt. I forgave him, and moved on.
I didn't want that suffering to be part of my life for longer than necessary.
Everything on your list is NOT a hole that cannot be filled.
People might not see a way to fill them immediately, since it takes time and effort.
People might not want to fill them, since they derive some benefits from holding on to them.
But, if you want to fill them, they are all fillable.
Addiction is also a nasty one. No doubt.
But, like the others, it is a fillable hole.
It takes effort and time, and invariably some suffering will be involved.
But suffering is involved with maintaining an addiction as well.
And, surviving an addiction, and getting rid of it, is an incredible challenge that will make you an incredible person.
Incredible people aren't born that way. They get that way because they go through incredible things.
They go through incredible suffering, and emerge on the other side.
That is the path to true power. The only path.
Always remember: you have the power to do it.
Be relentless in pushing toward your goals.
If you suffer a setback, don't give up and start using again.
Be strong, and patient, and you will get where you want to be.
