Picture it: I'm 18, head over fucking heels with the first girl I've ever kissed (hey, late bloomer, OK? Made up for it since, so quit laughing and follow the fucking story) who just happened to be the literal girl next door. True story, no shit. So it's my final day at high school, time to get wild and wasted; I get home, there's a note from my girl saying 'Come over. I have a special present for you.' Please bear in mind I am a fucking horny virgin, as is she. Couldn't make this shit up, for real.
So I get over to her place in about a millisecond, as you do when hearing the greatest fucking news of your life. I run into her bedroom, and there she is with a motherfucking come hither smile on her I will never forget. Before we get down to it though, I ask her - 'Where are your parents?'. She reckons no, it's all good, they're out. But to be doubly sure, we move a bookcase over to block her bedroom door. And then the moment arrives. We're half-dressed but licking and sucking away, I go down on her, and I am officially as hard as a fuckin iron bar. She's wet as a goddamn monsoon, I look up and she's like 'I wnat you inside me'. TADAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
The great moment I have dreamt of for so long has ARRIVED.
I slip my throbbing dick into her, it feels amafuckingzing, and I start gently with the one-two-one-two, I couldn't be more in heaven.
Just then, a loud knocking on the door. Then - before I can get my dick out of her or even register what the fuck is going on - her DAD demands to know what we're doing in there, and pushes the door open, knocking over the bookcase.
I leap off of my girlfriend, who has rapidly hidden herself under her bedsheets, and try to get my dick back into my pants. But it's all too little too late, Pops has seen the whole show and is now FUCKING ANGRY and is demanding to know WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
Of course, no explanation is really needed. My first and only shot at losing my virginity with the first girl I ever loved is shot down in flames. Dad stalks out, I run home, I lose the bursary to the college that Dad is Principal of, the girl cheats on me with a friend of mine, I go two years before properly blowing my load from intercourse and to this day never got to shag that girl to the finish line.
The Fucking End.