MrFister
Bluelighter
I've been wondering about the 'holing' phenomenon for quite a while now. By hole I refer to the hole commonly experienced by Ketamine (K) and Methoxetamine (MXE) users, but not to exclude any other possible methods of holing. I've heard anecdotes of holing from 3-MeO-PCP, 4-MeO-PCP, PCP, and Nitrous. I personally only have experience holing through use of MXE so I can only offer my thoughts on that substance. Prior to dissociative drug use I had heard of reports of a K-Hole experience, but I had scant understanding of what a K-Hole elicited. To my understanding K-Holing is an overwhelming and unstoppable exaltation of the self into a wondrous world fueled by imagination - although personal philosophy may alter whether the new world is perceived as real or not. I was expecting the exact same phenomenon out of MXE, and lord was I wrong.
Over time I spent nights with friends and alone experimenting with MXE. During use I found that sometimes I would find myself sinking deep into dissociation, and I would find myself stuck in a warm comfy sea of blackness. I drew the assumption the warm blanket WAS the hole, and I was blown away many weeks later during use following a tolerance break. On 50 mg (a high dose for me) I was taken on a tour through a deep and dark fortress of an ancient alien race, I saw a volcano erupt as I became the lava, and I lived several lives in the span of an hour. It was a deeply spiritual experience that prompted me to take a break from use. Later use would find occasional success with holing, and I had one amazing experience which topped my first hole. But high points of the drug aside, I found on many occasions I would take a 'hole' dose and find myself laying in bed frustratingly attempting to dissociate in a futile numb stupor. Conversely, sometimes I would take a far lower dose than I consume (60-70 is a hole dose) like 35 mg, and I would be blown away by dream theaters conducting private shows about my life. Crystal clear quality, for my eyes only. It was then that I started contemplating the phenomenology of a hole.
Renunciation of bodily sensations, temporal perceptions, and conscious thought is conducive to the emergence of a 'hole' state. Conscious disregard of real stimulus then results in the manifestation of filler data: audio distortions/hallucinations, visual patterns and colours, streamlined/free-flow thought, and strange bodily sensations. Investigation into meditation, hypnogogia, and sensory deprivation yield much insight into the transition into a hole. My experience with these three natural phenomenon lead me to believe the overall architecture is identical - although the net result can be very, very different. Hypnogogia occurs in the state before sleep, usually during stage 1 (or maybe stage 2) Non-Rapid Eye Movement (NREM) sleep. Hallucinations experienced during hypnogogia are very common and range from vague shapes to fully lucid movies. Memory is usually rapidly forgotten unless the individual makes a very strong conscious effort to retain the memory of the experience. In fact, for those unfamiliar with hypnopompia it may come as a surprise that techniques exist to induce a state of a conscious mind as the body descends into slumber. This state is often referred to as "Mind awake, body asleep" (MABA). Hallucinations not unlike those experienced in hypnogogic states are also vividly entwined with the meditative experience. Meditation is also well known to either have a concomitant, or causal relationship with faster brain waves such as alpha and theta waves.
I hope it is not unreasonable to deduce that a shared phenomenon would also shares similar traits with states that follow similar patterns. MXE, and by extension all dissociatives, apply filters that warps perception by stripping away layers of recognition. As visual input wanes, an intermediate state of faint imagery often arises. These are not true hypnopompic hallucinations however, they are simply the result of sensory deprivation. Having problems with blood pressure there have been times where I see faint spots of colour due to ocular pressure while on MXE. On these occasions I have never been able to hole, or witness vivid imagery. Sensory deprivation is very obviously implicated in dissociation, but from my experience pure sensory deprivation rarely allows holing, only permitting mild to semi-vivid colours and shapes.
Several users and myself here on bluelight have noted melatonin raises the likelihood of experiencing vivid hallucinations and/or experiencing very lucid holes under MXE. Melatonin is notable for reducing sleep latency if used correctly. As hypnogogic scenes occur during the first sleep phases, the brain is usually entering alpha/theta brain wave territory. I believe that successful holes rely on emergence into the beginning phases of sleep. Background stimulation from MXE is sufficient to keep the mind awake JUST ENOUGH to remain above stage 3 and 4 sleep - as well as retain a somewhat conscious will. For the sake of argument I will postulate that as the brain approaches a dreaming state it removes a natural 'reality filter' in order to preserve calmness and remain asleep for the night. As MXE removes filters, perhaps it removes the reality filter as well?
My theory is as follows: the hole is the product of conflicting levels of consciousness mediated by automatic processes facilitating sleep and the conscious mind's dysfunctional communication in the presence of MXE. Beginning stages of sleep create hypnopompic hallucinations that are potentiated by sensory deprivation as a result of the visual filter enhancement. This state is where self-reflection and 'brain movies' about very real events and memories take place. As the brain shifts into the lower states of sleep, it creates filters to shield the conscious mind from distractions so as to preserve sleep. MXE creates a non-real reality filter that the brain perceives as a natural reality filter, and skips placing a total filter over the brain - sleep then proceeds into a deeper and more 'trance-like' state. The user now rests in a state of deep trance, under no restraint of reality's limits, thus the 'hole' is born. The hole continues until one of two conditions are met: the drug wears off, or the body proceeds down to stage 4 and back to stage 2 in its natural cycle.
So for discussion, any thoughts? Inputs? I can't recall a thread or a question like this being asked on this site, forgive me if this has already been brought up.
Over time I spent nights with friends and alone experimenting with MXE. During use I found that sometimes I would find myself sinking deep into dissociation, and I would find myself stuck in a warm comfy sea of blackness. I drew the assumption the warm blanket WAS the hole, and I was blown away many weeks later during use following a tolerance break. On 50 mg (a high dose for me) I was taken on a tour through a deep and dark fortress of an ancient alien race, I saw a volcano erupt as I became the lava, and I lived several lives in the span of an hour. It was a deeply spiritual experience that prompted me to take a break from use. Later use would find occasional success with holing, and I had one amazing experience which topped my first hole. But high points of the drug aside, I found on many occasions I would take a 'hole' dose and find myself laying in bed frustratingly attempting to dissociate in a futile numb stupor. Conversely, sometimes I would take a far lower dose than I consume (60-70 is a hole dose) like 35 mg, and I would be blown away by dream theaters conducting private shows about my life. Crystal clear quality, for my eyes only. It was then that I started contemplating the phenomenology of a hole.
Renunciation of bodily sensations, temporal perceptions, and conscious thought is conducive to the emergence of a 'hole' state. Conscious disregard of real stimulus then results in the manifestation of filler data: audio distortions/hallucinations, visual patterns and colours, streamlined/free-flow thought, and strange bodily sensations. Investigation into meditation, hypnogogia, and sensory deprivation yield much insight into the transition into a hole. My experience with these three natural phenomenon lead me to believe the overall architecture is identical - although the net result can be very, very different. Hypnogogia occurs in the state before sleep, usually during stage 1 (or maybe stage 2) Non-Rapid Eye Movement (NREM) sleep. Hallucinations experienced during hypnogogia are very common and range from vague shapes to fully lucid movies. Memory is usually rapidly forgotten unless the individual makes a very strong conscious effort to retain the memory of the experience. In fact, for those unfamiliar with hypnopompia it may come as a surprise that techniques exist to induce a state of a conscious mind as the body descends into slumber. This state is often referred to as "Mind awake, body asleep" (MABA). Hallucinations not unlike those experienced in hypnogogic states are also vividly entwined with the meditative experience. Meditation is also well known to either have a concomitant, or causal relationship with faster brain waves such as alpha and theta waves.
I hope it is not unreasonable to deduce that a shared phenomenon would also shares similar traits with states that follow similar patterns. MXE, and by extension all dissociatives, apply filters that warps perception by stripping away layers of recognition. As visual input wanes, an intermediate state of faint imagery often arises. These are not true hypnopompic hallucinations however, they are simply the result of sensory deprivation. Having problems with blood pressure there have been times where I see faint spots of colour due to ocular pressure while on MXE. On these occasions I have never been able to hole, or witness vivid imagery. Sensory deprivation is very obviously implicated in dissociation, but from my experience pure sensory deprivation rarely allows holing, only permitting mild to semi-vivid colours and shapes.
Several users and myself here on bluelight have noted melatonin raises the likelihood of experiencing vivid hallucinations and/or experiencing very lucid holes under MXE. Melatonin is notable for reducing sleep latency if used correctly. As hypnogogic scenes occur during the first sleep phases, the brain is usually entering alpha/theta brain wave territory. I believe that successful holes rely on emergence into the beginning phases of sleep. Background stimulation from MXE is sufficient to keep the mind awake JUST ENOUGH to remain above stage 3 and 4 sleep - as well as retain a somewhat conscious will. For the sake of argument I will postulate that as the brain approaches a dreaming state it removes a natural 'reality filter' in order to preserve calmness and remain asleep for the night. As MXE removes filters, perhaps it removes the reality filter as well?
My theory is as follows: the hole is the product of conflicting levels of consciousness mediated by automatic processes facilitating sleep and the conscious mind's dysfunctional communication in the presence of MXE. Beginning stages of sleep create hypnopompic hallucinations that are potentiated by sensory deprivation as a result of the visual filter enhancement. This state is where self-reflection and 'brain movies' about very real events and memories take place. As the brain shifts into the lower states of sleep, it creates filters to shield the conscious mind from distractions so as to preserve sleep. MXE creates a non-real reality filter that the brain perceives as a natural reality filter, and skips placing a total filter over the brain - sleep then proceeds into a deeper and more 'trance-like' state. The user now rests in a state of deep trance, under no restraint of reality's limits, thus the 'hole' is born. The hole continues until one of two conditions are met: the drug wears off, or the body proceeds down to stage 4 and back to stage 2 in its natural cycle.
So for discussion, any thoughts? Inputs? I can't recall a thread or a question like this being asked on this site, forgive me if this has already been brought up.
