sounds like some intense meditation would help you, my philosophy is do nothing i we just sit doing nothing, you just kind of autommatically find urself doing the things you need to do, which is actually little if you don't think about it and over analyze it, then you end up constantly doing things and stressed out for no reason, do little.
you'r not a fuck up society is just lame, if you are not successful be happy, respect is bullshit, just love yourself, be happy your are crazy, nothing exists anyways, no need to kill yourself, only the mind dies but the spirit is immortal, just focus on love, love love love, illogically, thats my method, and i pull through, sometimes its wierd, maybe its not totally cool, maybe no one else understands, maybe it doesnt even make sense to my self, or seem in accordance to the actions, but i just return to the reality that this world is entirely roleplay, we are here for the sake of differentiated experience, but in the true reality nothing happens, its just love, its not really concievable yet its the root of all this.
my names also D so lol... but yeah man, shrooms are crazy, i remember i was at a rave and i did some, about 5 gs i ended up barely hanging on, but the best thing to do is just dance don't think about people, just think about love, because thats always happening at a rave, how many people were around you that you didn't see just being like I LOVE THE UNIVERSE! you probably just misse them, but they are always there, and nice people who will just talk to you, when you're tripping so hard, they come from your spirit, the rave is like a process inside of our spirits,we just can't tell so easily from our perspective going into it, but it encompasses us, the thing with tripping at a rave is not to get hung up, i always lose people but i just try not to worry too much, i know i'll find them again, when i start worrying about that, things get sad, but if i just trust the spirit of the gathering and trip that itll come through, and really all the people i do know in some way it always has worked out (and tripping in general, its amazing how much better your luck is when you trip, spirits really do watch out for you, stumbling around blind in the dark but coming round right every time)... anyways hope you get better, don't judge yourself, the universe loves you, sounds like you have some cool friends too... remember negativity isn't always bad, its actually just a lack of space, and positivity isn't always good its just a presence, presence implies non presence and in the truth they are the same, put two negatives together and you get a positive, you know? i dont know if any of that makes sense, but don't worry.. everything happens for a reason, everything is right in the sequence of events
