TangerinO
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2010
- Messages
- 1,323
I've done LSD many times in the last two years, and I had the fantastic opportunity to take it with my favourite trip buddy last week at his beach house.
Ever since combining MDMA with LSD properly, I've found acid has become a far more in depth emotional experience for me, and I felt the fullest extent of my emotions on this trip. Ever since this combination I have found myself a lot more susceptible to crying whilst under the influence of drugs, the last trip I had before this one with my trip buddy lead to crying but it was tears of happiness, this time I experienced the opposite end.
A little bit of context: My friend I speak so highly of is moving away for several years, along with some other very close friends and there has been a feeling on inevitability in the air since this was confirmed. The inevitable moment of goodbye not just to my best friend, but for our whole group. I'm a part of quite a tightly knit crew and we're all at our best when we're together, this is a big blow to all of us. Life is going to be very different for at least the next three or four years.
Anyway I had two hits of acid left, and we're right near the beach in a beautiful coastal area and I thought why not, gotta eat it sometime, no use hoarding it in this beautiful environment. He gets home from work, and we dose quite quickly, put some music on and start kicking the night off.
It starts as usual, things seem a little off, eventually walls start to breathe and myself and my trip buddy begin to have a touch of insanity in our eyes and expressions. I totally lose track of time as in this trip I just didn't care, I was on holiday for days and nothing to worry about so I just let go. I remember watching television while peaking and being very confused and overwhelmed, we were watching friends and we were very confused, but laughing our arses off none the less. We saw some commercial with a guy in a liver costume, pushing liver correction pills or some shit and laughed for about twenty minutes at how much of low point that must of been for that actors career.
After this we decide to go down to the beach, where it is pitch black except for our torch and the ridiculous amount of bugs drawn to the one bit of light, it was like explosions of bugs everywhere. Like party poppers shooting bugs everywhich way. We sit down and smoke a big joint and put the torch facing the sea in a top hat we had for some reason. We mused about the sand and how it was like a world, and we were the Gods of this world.
However eventually the sand is like baby body parts, chopped up and scattered everywhere, but not rising out of the ground but rather going inwards. As if it were a collection of baby body part molds made in the sand. I explained it to my friend as emboss on Microsoft word, that text effect where it seems to be engraved, however at the time I kept it to myself, I didn't want to send both of our vibes dark, alone on the beach with a light.
Eventually this turned into death in general, rotting bodies all around us. Despite what this might sound like this wasn't the intense part of the trip, but rather just odd and beautiful, if anything it just had me in awe.
The peak subsides and I figured the heavily intense parts are over as you generally do when you finally come back from a heavy peak to semi-reality, but I was wrong.
I can't remember much between what I just described and this, but we decided to put Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd on, as I insist that there is something alive in Pink Floyd's music that can only be heard in the altered state of consciousness that comes from LSD.
We're enjoying the album a lot, and eventually I drag him outside for fuck knows what number cigarette of the night and this is where shit got crazy.
The title track came on, and we started talking about what I was mentioning at the beginning, the fact that we're all moving away from each other and things are changing. We're all growing up and things are getting tough and overwhelmingly important and serious.
Suddenly, it overwhelms me and I start silently weeping. I can't explain to my friend why, I can't talk through my tears which are just bucketing down, but I don't make a whimper. I just silently sit with four or five tears rolling down my cheeks at a time, and everything is red and glowing. Burning into me. I try and focus my mind on something else, but the more I try and avoid my feelings the more the acid says no. It gets brighter, the view from the porch is burning into my very soul pushing every tear and ounce of sadness out of me and it's overwhelming. I can't talk, I can't explain, I can't really do anything except focus on the trees in front of me that just seem like a giant bizarre creature, a creature forcing me to feel my feelings accompanied by the spiraling lizard like glowing red bark all around the ground.
I manage to squeeze a few words out "Dude did you see what happened there?" He says yes, but I had a feeling from his tone he didn't really know what was going on, it was dark and we were tripping nuts, and like I said as I was crying I made no sound. The emotion was focused inward, rather than outward (much like the bodies I saw on the beach, I just realised). I respond "No dude I just broke down crying"
Understandably he doesn't know how to react and I realise I can't get anymore words out, the intensity is building and it's just too much.
I cannot stop crying, and I begin to worry as the more I try and stop crying or push it away, the more intense it gets and the more the redness burns into every part of my being. Normally when things go bad with acid for me, I distract myself, think of something else, but my technique to turn things around is working against me. The more I try the worse it gets. I begin to see myself in two or three hours, fetal position, I begin to believe that I will continue to cry all night and it will never stop, not just this but I imagine the intensity will continue to rise. The tears keep pouring and we don't say a word, and I am hoping it will stop eventually as my emotions are what they are, when you feel sad about something and the LSD says "No you must feel these feelings at their fullest" good fucking luck to you trying to get out of that loop.
The song stops and all of a sudden I stop crying, and the burning red glow subsides down and stops tearing my soul apart, and I just laugh through my now heavily blocked nose, and blubber and little here.
I laugh insanely and turn to my friend as say "WOW! Now that was a whacky experience" and we proceeded to go inside after a little more chat about what the hell just happened.
About half an hour later my friend also broke down crying, watching an ad no less about how fucked the environment is thanks to us humans. Ironic seeing as he said the next day he felt bad he couldn't cry with me about our eventual departure, and weird for me as I left to take a piss for twenty seconds and come back and my mate is a mess on the couch. Overall I'd say it was a heavily emotional trip, one that taught me the true power of emotions and our feelings.
I will never forget that image of the trees in front of the porch, burning into my soul and forcing me to feel pain I was trying to avoid. The image haunted my for days, but not in a bad way, just a mysterious way. It's like an image of my rawest and deepest emotions, an actual physical manifestation of something mysterious and unknown in the physical realm.
LSD is one amazing drug, be careful people. Just one little piece of paper can take you to places in your own mind you never even imagined existed. I've done a lot of acid in the last year in various doses but nothing compares to what is already in the brain before it goes in.
I'll never forget this experience and whenever I miss my mates, I'll just wish they were with me, and chuck on a bit of Floyd and maybe cry tears of happiness rather than sorrow.
Thanks for reading guys.
Tagged by bindingaffinity
substancecode_lsd
substancecode_lysergamides
explevel_experienced
exptype_neutral
exptype_difficult
roacode_sublingual
Ever since combining MDMA with LSD properly, I've found acid has become a far more in depth emotional experience for me, and I felt the fullest extent of my emotions on this trip. Ever since this combination I have found myself a lot more susceptible to crying whilst under the influence of drugs, the last trip I had before this one with my trip buddy lead to crying but it was tears of happiness, this time I experienced the opposite end.
A little bit of context: My friend I speak so highly of is moving away for several years, along with some other very close friends and there has been a feeling on inevitability in the air since this was confirmed. The inevitable moment of goodbye not just to my best friend, but for our whole group. I'm a part of quite a tightly knit crew and we're all at our best when we're together, this is a big blow to all of us. Life is going to be very different for at least the next three or four years.
Anyway I had two hits of acid left, and we're right near the beach in a beautiful coastal area and I thought why not, gotta eat it sometime, no use hoarding it in this beautiful environment. He gets home from work, and we dose quite quickly, put some music on and start kicking the night off.
It starts as usual, things seem a little off, eventually walls start to breathe and myself and my trip buddy begin to have a touch of insanity in our eyes and expressions. I totally lose track of time as in this trip I just didn't care, I was on holiday for days and nothing to worry about so I just let go. I remember watching television while peaking and being very confused and overwhelmed, we were watching friends and we were very confused, but laughing our arses off none the less. We saw some commercial with a guy in a liver costume, pushing liver correction pills or some shit and laughed for about twenty minutes at how much of low point that must of been for that actors career.
After this we decide to go down to the beach, where it is pitch black except for our torch and the ridiculous amount of bugs drawn to the one bit of light, it was like explosions of bugs everywhere. Like party poppers shooting bugs everywhich way. We sit down and smoke a big joint and put the torch facing the sea in a top hat we had for some reason. We mused about the sand and how it was like a world, and we were the Gods of this world.
However eventually the sand is like baby body parts, chopped up and scattered everywhere, but not rising out of the ground but rather going inwards. As if it were a collection of baby body part molds made in the sand. I explained it to my friend as emboss on Microsoft word, that text effect where it seems to be engraved, however at the time I kept it to myself, I didn't want to send both of our vibes dark, alone on the beach with a light.
Eventually this turned into death in general, rotting bodies all around us. Despite what this might sound like this wasn't the intense part of the trip, but rather just odd and beautiful, if anything it just had me in awe.
The peak subsides and I figured the heavily intense parts are over as you generally do when you finally come back from a heavy peak to semi-reality, but I was wrong.
I can't remember much between what I just described and this, but we decided to put Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd on, as I insist that there is something alive in Pink Floyd's music that can only be heard in the altered state of consciousness that comes from LSD.
We're enjoying the album a lot, and eventually I drag him outside for fuck knows what number cigarette of the night and this is where shit got crazy.
The title track came on, and we started talking about what I was mentioning at the beginning, the fact that we're all moving away from each other and things are changing. We're all growing up and things are getting tough and overwhelmingly important and serious.
Suddenly, it overwhelms me and I start silently weeping. I can't explain to my friend why, I can't talk through my tears which are just bucketing down, but I don't make a whimper. I just silently sit with four or five tears rolling down my cheeks at a time, and everything is red and glowing. Burning into me. I try and focus my mind on something else, but the more I try and avoid my feelings the more the acid says no. It gets brighter, the view from the porch is burning into my very soul pushing every tear and ounce of sadness out of me and it's overwhelming. I can't talk, I can't explain, I can't really do anything except focus on the trees in front of me that just seem like a giant bizarre creature, a creature forcing me to feel my feelings accompanied by the spiraling lizard like glowing red bark all around the ground.
I manage to squeeze a few words out "Dude did you see what happened there?" He says yes, but I had a feeling from his tone he didn't really know what was going on, it was dark and we were tripping nuts, and like I said as I was crying I made no sound. The emotion was focused inward, rather than outward (much like the bodies I saw on the beach, I just realised). I respond "No dude I just broke down crying"
Understandably he doesn't know how to react and I realise I can't get anymore words out, the intensity is building and it's just too much.
I cannot stop crying, and I begin to worry as the more I try and stop crying or push it away, the more intense it gets and the more the redness burns into every part of my being. Normally when things go bad with acid for me, I distract myself, think of something else, but my technique to turn things around is working against me. The more I try the worse it gets. I begin to see myself in two or three hours, fetal position, I begin to believe that I will continue to cry all night and it will never stop, not just this but I imagine the intensity will continue to rise. The tears keep pouring and we don't say a word, and I am hoping it will stop eventually as my emotions are what they are, when you feel sad about something and the LSD says "No you must feel these feelings at their fullest" good fucking luck to you trying to get out of that loop.
The song stops and all of a sudden I stop crying, and the burning red glow subsides down and stops tearing my soul apart, and I just laugh through my now heavily blocked nose, and blubber and little here.
I laugh insanely and turn to my friend as say "WOW! Now that was a whacky experience" and we proceeded to go inside after a little more chat about what the hell just happened.
About half an hour later my friend also broke down crying, watching an ad no less about how fucked the environment is thanks to us humans. Ironic seeing as he said the next day he felt bad he couldn't cry with me about our eventual departure, and weird for me as I left to take a piss for twenty seconds and come back and my mate is a mess on the couch. Overall I'd say it was a heavily emotional trip, one that taught me the true power of emotions and our feelings.
I will never forget that image of the trees in front of the porch, burning into my soul and forcing me to feel pain I was trying to avoid. The image haunted my for days, but not in a bad way, just a mysterious way. It's like an image of my rawest and deepest emotions, an actual physical manifestation of something mysterious and unknown in the physical realm.
LSD is one amazing drug, be careful people. Just one little piece of paper can take you to places in your own mind you never even imagined existed. I've done a lot of acid in the last year in various doses but nothing compares to what is already in the brain before it goes in.
I'll never forget this experience and whenever I miss my mates, I'll just wish they were with me, and chuck on a bit of Floyd and maybe cry tears of happiness rather than sorrow.
Thanks for reading guys.
Tagged by bindingaffinity
substancecode_lsd
substancecode_lysergamides
explevel_experienced
exptype_neutral
exptype_difficult
roacode_sublingual
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