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☮ Social ☮ PD Social: Cross-dimensional chatter. Now featuring mesphereomeantoliopeme.

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Hey, all.

Just dropping in.

I've not been reading or posting Bluelight very much, it's sort of an odd thing to be on here again, because it was so much of a part of my day to day life and routine, but now it's not, but then again, "BL" has really permeated my "IRL" life to an astounding extent. I've made so many friends here, not to mention my gf. Such a crazy thing.

Good to see familiar names and "faces" here though. I hope all of you are well reading this out there.

I am. I'm still with my straight job. Prescribed a trifecta of Valium, Dexedrine, and Suboxone, so drug-wise I'm totally legitimized. So disconnected from that world lately, the dark & illegal world. That makes me happy. It's an immense weight off my shoulders. But it means I'm disconnected from a lot of dear friends, which is sad. But again: Too many dear friends have been lost in one way or another due to the darkness, and that is downright unbearable.

And it turns again. I attended the Horizons conference lately. Always a fascinating and stimulating time. I connected with a lot of brilliant people doing amazing and interesting things, and everything that's going on now is stuff that I never could've imagined in the past. Goddamn. The scientific research that's going on now blows me away. Creeping closer to some sort of acceptance by the world.

And in ways, that's great, and in ways, it's not. Synthetic cannabinoids and "bath salts" and things like that are quite literally on every other street corner. I never could've imagined this. It's fascinating and terrifying. And people are making fantastic, terrific amounts of money, I'm sure, and it's changed the whole drug culture out to the most mainstream of layers. More insularly, I feel the psychedelic community, or parts of it, are dangerously adrift. For one instance among mnay, I'm horrified by what ayahuasca has become, culturally, in the past few years, I'm horrified by Daniel Pinchbeck and company and all this cultic madness, this culturally-appropriating, ignorant, fundamentalistic rejection of everything that we've learned as a community--speaking now of the "psychedelic community," the underground that's been existing since the late 60's--in favor of ... I don't even know how to describe it. I'm trying to find the words. My obsession lately is with documenting these things and writing about them and trying to understand.

I still think that drugs and the drug scene are the most interesting thing in the world and still feel like they're a part of me, a part of my consciousness and my DNA. I'm looking at different ways to relate to it, now, though. I'm working on my site, still, the forum fell into disuse, but I'm working on a re-launch that will have a new and modern design, and be basically this big knowledge aggregator for "people like us" to share. Meet somewhere in the middle between our community's received conventional wisdom and all the damn cool science that's been going on. Learn from one another, and shape the knowledge for the next generation. There's so much knowledge out there, on web boards, pages, wikis, journals, presentations, books, all over the place. And there's bullshit and stupid ideology and dogma and bad science and all of that, too. So there's a lot of work to do in that arena. The pre-alpha version of my site is up and running and a few of us are loading content into it. If anyone wants in, or just to have a look at the project, drop me a note, I'd be happy to oblige. It's very much under construction and bare bones now.

So that's where I am coming from these days.

Felt good to throw a rambling post up here.

Felt like the old days.
 
Yeah I decided against redosing, though that was partly just because I couldn't find any good reports from nasal 6-APB and some people suggested it was very ineffective compared to oral - and I didn't want to take another oral dose and be up way into the middle of tomorrow without food etc.

Feel very cold, doesn't seem to be any significant vasoconstriction though so I suspect this is just the fact that my bedroom is poorly insulated and tends to get real cold at night when the heating is off.

I have a feeling I'll probably sleep through half of tomorrow with how worn out I feel. What's really cool though is I haven't noticed any depression, I feel rather happy - with occasional moments when the euphoria returns for a few seconds and then disappears, relaxed.. just, like I could sleep for 24 hours straight. Having said that though, heart-rate is still quite elevated, since my resting heartrate is always between 60 and 70 and - I'm not going to attempt to measure it while this tired, but I watched 10 seconds on the clock and it seemed to be between 2 and 3 beats per second, so 120-180bpm.

The fact that I'm not completely baseline at T+7:40 tells me I definitely want to avoid dosing this too late, and since my heartrate is still so high there's a chance it's going to take even longer to actually achieve sleep.

We'll see.

Overall I'm giving this a 9/10 - if I don't feel horrible tomorrow then it'll be a 10/10 :D

Do try the MXE Socks if you haven't tried it before, you'll like it I think. I'd recommend sublingual over nasal though, just 15mg sublingual was quite potent for me, versus people railing like 60-80mg+ for decent effects.

Goodnight people. Wish that my comedown continues to be a happy one please :D

<3
 
Refreshed my CP and saw SKL as last poster, nice to see ya around man. :)

Benefits of psychedelics is finally starting to filter into the public consciousness and its nice to see. I read an article by Nichols on MAPS's website advising students about what to expect if they wish to enter the field of psychedelic studies. He doesn't sugarcoat it; you will be ostracized and have very few colleagues in the world, and you aren't really accepted as a member of the scientific community, have a hard time getting funding, etc. It's a very truthful article but it was very inspiring to me; that is what I am working towards, if I don't get into med school that is.

I totally forgot about your forum. I have a hard time juggling more than one forum. BL is sort of as much as I can handle at the moment. Lame excuse, I know. ;)
 
^ Same here, I signed up to your forum SKL but because of using 2-3 other forums I just didn't manage to stay active. Haven't visited in ages, I should take a look and see how it's doing :)

Still haven't slept yet. Heart rate finally returned to normal like 15 minutes ago, so 9 hours after dosing. Feeling less stimulated, more relaxed now. Feeling rather happy, headache and nausea have vanished. Annnnd, only thing left in a significant amount is jaw tension/bruxism, still gurning like mad.

Someone remind me to pop magnesium before I dose this next time ;)

Now I really -am- going to try sleep.
 
Have any booze or benzos or opiates on hand to help induce sleep? Those are pro for stimulant comedowns. I get bruxism a lot these days though, I take magnesium but it's from anxiety so that doesn't do shit.

Hey SKL, nice to see you popping by.
 
Still haven't slept yet. Heart rate finally returned to normal like 15 minutes ago, so 9 hours after dosing. Feeling less stimulated, more relaxed now. Feeling rather happy, headache and nausea have vanished. Annnnd, only thing left in a significant amount is jaw tension/bruxism, still gurning like mad.

Someone remind me to pop magnesium before I dose this next time ;)

Actually rethink that. IME magnesium makes things worse. It lowers the pH of the stomach/urine (same way as antacids) thereby keeping more of the drug in your system. I use magnesium to potentiate amp. When I take magnesium with my amp, due to the higher bioavailability magnesium induces, the gurning actually gets worse (but the high gets better of course).

The best thing for gurning and bug-eye is GABAergics. Nowadays I practically always take a benzo on the comedown of stims or psychs. It helps the gurn, calms my nerves and lets me sleep.

Now I really -am- going to try sleep.

'Trying' to sleep makes it worse. Pop some 5-HTP, melatonin, valerian, kava, whathaveyou.. You're likely going to need some pharmacological help when it comes to calming nerves, relieving the gurn and getting sleep.

I have ~18-20mg of MXE under my tongue at the moment. Buzzing hard from the oxy, just about to put on Clockwork. I thought I had it on my external HD, but I didn't so I had to re-download it.

My scale is getting really 'floaty'; I finally got fed up and took the dose I knew was going to be under 20mg. I think it's time for new batteries, 3-4 years ain't bad for the same set.

I popped the toenail out successfully, I didn't feel a thing, this one was especially painless. It really did feel like my mind was incapable of perceiving pain. I just snipped off a piece, dug in there deep with the pointy thing on nail clippers, and slowly yet strongly lifted the thing and all of a sudden it just popped out. I was amazed at how easy this one was. I'm never doing that again without being bombed on oxy. :p
 
Dude, I feel ya.

Nice to know that I'm not alone. :) Sort of. I really wouldn't wish any anxiety disorder upon my worst enemy. But, you know what I mean.

going on mirtazepine

Good luck, and be careful. I've seen too many stories of people causing themselves permanent emotional and psychological damage with pharmaceutical antidepressants not to warn anybody considering them.

So disconnected from that world lately, the dark & illegal world. That makes me happy. It's an immense weight off my shoulders.

I've got to throw in my two cents and say that I vastly prefer dealing with the black market for drug transactions than (pseudo)-legitimate sources. Let's take cannabinoids as an example. My pot dealer is honest, generous, and a joy to buy from. He only sells high quality materials, and for a fair price. He'll come right to my doorstep, where we can not only trade goods, but catch up with each other, and share our mutual love for cannabis by smoking a bowl or two together. It's just classy.

Whereas, the first thing you have to assume about someone working a job at a head shop is their complete lack of any principle, due to the fact that they are perfectly willing to sell you chemicals that are dangerously misadvertised as weed substitute, among all sorts of other scams. Furthermore, you don't stand a chance of developing any real relationship with the local head shop owner, because you have to buy all of your pseudo-legal drugs under the pretense that they're collector's items or "bath salts" or any of a number of nonsense lies. You can't strike up a genuine conversation, because the whole transaction is an absurd put-on where you're both pretending not to be drug dealers and consumers. And, to put the icing on the cake, you have to feel like an idiot for stooping to weed "substitutes" because you're scared of the pigs that try to take control of your personal life to compensate for their own insecurity.

I suppose in some cases, like individuals being regularly drug-tested, there is no choice. But as long as I have the freedom, I'll take my chances any day.


Aside from all that, I'm really inspired by your dedication to helping evolve and expand humanity's understanding of its relationship to psychoactive chemicals. :) Keep on doing what you're doing, man. <3
 
Boy, "DXM" seems like the buzzword of PD lately. Just look at all the threads on the front page of PD that refer to DXM. Plus, I was planning on taking DXM tomorrow evening. Weird. Must be some sorta collective consciousness thing, maaaan!
 
Boy, "DXM" seems like the buzzword of PD lately. Just look at all the threads on the front page of PD that refer to DXM. Plus, I was planning on taking DXM tomorrow evening. Weird. Must be some sorta collective consciousness thing, maaaan!

I too have noticed this trend. Enjoy your experience, I'd like to indulge soon myself if I come into discretionary spending money (well, after more pressing purchases like booze).
 
I attempted to post here earlier from my phone but seems like that didn't work. Still a little stimulated and unable to sleep at T+13:00. Pupils still dilated. I'm not sure if this is the fact I took just over 150mg which is considered to be quite a large dose - or if it's just the fact drugs tend to last longer for me in general. E.g. weed lasts 4-7 hours always. Ketamine lasts 1.5 to 3. Ritalin excess stimulation lasted over 10 hours.

Have no benzos, 5htp or melatonin. Will attempt booze if I'm still awake in half an hour. Also if anyone's wondering, this stimulation is a little euphoric and pleasant, I would see it as a pleasant afterglow to help get through the day if I wasn't so worn out and unable to sleep.

Posting from my phone, I hope this time it works.
 
morning PD!

i think these trends are more jsut posting trends than people actually thinking of doing the same drug at the same time. i mean perhaps encouraged by seeing threads on a certain substance, more people thinkof questions they had about the very same one... but who knows :)

day after a night with 2cc... no afterglow, but no side effects, just a slight tiredness and i am perhaps a bit less enthusiastic about getting up and about (but this might be from the horrible weather and extreme cold outside).... i think i ll be using this more often.... :D
 
Okay, T+22:30 since dosing. I managed 5 or 6 hours of sleep. I feel extremely worn out still, my arms and legs feel like I just ran a marathon. My eyes are still jiggling, jaw still has a bit of tension - and hurts like hell. Pupils finally returned to normal size after sleep.

I feel good though. Something upset me like an hour ago when I woke up, but I think I would have been upset whether I'd taken 6-APB last night or not, now I feel great emotionally so no sign of the blues as of yet. I hear day 2 is usually the worst if you get them though so we'll see.

Good morning(evening in my case) PD :)
 
So, last night I kinda felt the phenibut, but not really. Ended up having more (like 1500 total), and drinking some beers. Passed out, woke up this morning hung over, and now i think i can feel the phenibut, its like I am mildly drunk and floaty. Tactile senses are enjoyable. Could just be the hangover, but I think its more.

Gonna be a good day :).
 
So skl, i've got a question
since you're legitimately prescribed dexedrine, that makes it ok right?
i distinctly remember you giving me shit for using dexedrine, even though i do have a legitimate prescription for dexedrine.
 
Dirty Pictures - Shulgin Documentary

Hey guys,

I just watched Dirty Pictures, and I enjoyed it a lot. Its honestly one of the best films concerning psychedelic drugs that I've ever seen.

Here's the link, if you're interested: http://vimeo.com/29358948

If you enjoy the movie, try to purchase a copy of the DVD at some point (its available now through Barns&Noble online). These guys made a great documentary and deserve to be compensated for producing such a high-quality product.

Take care, all! :) <3
 
I woke up at 4 this afternoon with a splitting headache, and worst of all, I remembered everything (being facetious, I'm glad I remembered;) ).

MXE is heavy shit. I was expecting an opiate-like dissciative but instead I got a balls to the walls convoluting head-trip, making all sorts of connections, finding revelations all over the place. Just like ketamine, except whereas I find ketamine to have opiate qualities MXE has stimulant properties. I had definite jaw clench during the experience and I was on an oxy nod before hand that was certainly no longer a nod, I ended up having to take diazepam to get to bed at 6am.

I thought MXE was going to be light and mild with 3-MeO-PCP being the strong one. Well I have that one too, and damn to say I'm going to wait a while to try it. I was going to try 5mg tonight but after last night, no way. In total it was 20mg subling and I (for some reason) took a ~10mg bump off the end of a knife an hour or so in. It lasted about 4 hours in total until I dosed the benzo to get some sleep.

Also, watching A Clockwork Orange is trippy enough. Doing it on a dissociative, 8o That was F'ed up and I couldn't help but find all too many parallels between Alex and me.

Boy, "DXM" seems like the buzzword of PD lately. Just look at all the threads on the front page of PD that refer to DXM. Plus, I was planning on taking DXM tomorrow evening. Weird. Must be some sorta collective consciousness thing, maaaan!

I like DXM but I found the funniest thing with MXE. It is almost exactly like DXM but without the body load.

So I'm feelin pretty messed up, I took some oxy and I'm eating breakfast.

I have an essay to write and other shit to do, plus a house I have to scrupulously clean tomorrow. I think I'll have to save the schoolwork for Monday.
 
Refreshed my CP and saw SKL as last poster, nice to see ya around man. :)
Hey SKL, nice to see you popping by.

Good to see you guys too!

And everyone else :)

I've got to throw in my two cents and say that I vastly prefer dealing with the black market for drug transactions than (pseudo)-legitimate sources. Let's take cannabinoids as an example. My pot dealer is honest, generous, and a joy to buy from. He only sells high quality materials, and for a fair price. He'll come right to my doorstep, where we can not only trade goods, but catch up with each other, and share our mutual love for cannabis by smoking a bowl or two together. It's just classy.

Whereas, the first thing you have to assume about someone working a job at a head shop is their complete lack of any principle, due to the fact that they are perfectly willing to sell you chemicals that are dangerously misadvertised as weed substitute, among all sorts of other scams. Furthermore, you don't stand a chance of developing any real relationship with the local head shop owner, because you have to buy all of your pseudo-legal drugs under the pretense that they're collector's items or "bath salts" or any of a number of nonsense lies. You can't strike up a genuine conversation, because the whole transaction is an absurd put-on where you're both pretending not to be drug dealers and consumers. And, to put the icing on the cake, you have to feel like an idiot for stooping to weed "substitutes" because you're scared of the pigs that try to take control of your personal life to compensate for their own insecurity.

I suppose in some cases, like individuals being regularly drug-tested, there is no choice. But as long as I have the freedom, I'll take my chances any day.

Aside from all that, I'm really inspired by your dedication to helping evolve and expand humanity's understanding of its relationship to psychoactive chemicals. :) Keep on doing what you're doing, man. <3

Oh, without a doubt, the whole pretension of the drug substitutes being sold in the open is ridiculous, and more seriously, the nature of some of these compounds, and particularly the nature of the marketing in that we don't necessarily know what the compounds are, is a very dangerous thing. I tried the odd synthetic cannabinoid blend here and there, out of curiosity. Some of them were fun, some terrible, most of them seemed to be a great deal more psychologically abrasive, anxiogenic, and less innocuous than weed. There was an article in last month's AJP, and some other journals too I believe, describing putative psychotomimetic effects of these drugs, which persisted long after the acute intoxication, in individuals who did not have history of the same. Parenthetically, this was done on a Navy base, which of course is interesting because it tells us something about those who are using the materials, and it also tells us something about their baseline clinical mental status, because, at least officially, people with significant psych hx are barred from being recruited, and although we all know that especially during a long and unpopular war, these rules get bent, but still, the statistical incidence in the military population of psychotic, or really, any axis (I) illness, had ought to be lower than the general population, while simultaneously one might think that certain other psychopathology might in fact be overrepresented.

But of course, all of these individuals were in their early 20's, to wit, prime time for onset of such illness, and it is well-known that the use of psychedelics hastens the onset of illness but not necessarily increases the incidence. Now, as far as the cannabinoids go, most of the JWH series &c. are full agonists with true affinity at CB1 and/or CB2 (it varies, many of them both, IIRC), whereas the active constituents of marijuana are not necessarily the same, so there is the potential to have far more "interesting" effects, to get higher than you could if you literally smoked a limitless amount of pot. This is may also relate to why tolerance builds so quickly. And, like Atakan & McGuire's study on THC vs. CBD, not all cannabinoids are created equal in terms of their untoward effects. And while under-researched, I think we can assume that the synthetic ones, at least some of the ones that are making it into grey-market commercial products, are more untoward than either THC or CBD. So it's not surprising that the risk of psychosis is greater. Not to mention health effects we just don't know about. When I smoke one of the blends, for instance, I get this shivering, muscle contractions really. I don't know what that could be, pharmacologically, but it's unsettling.

But I digress. (Because I'm in the middle of writing a feature article on the subject. It'll be up on my site soon. If you'd like to see it as a work in progress I can get you set up with a beta version of the new site, if you were a member already, then you have a PM in your inbox there about how to go about doing that. I'd really encourage anyone who's interested to do so. The new site is really cool, if I can say so myself. Based on a wiki platform, doing crowd-sourced gonzo journalism about drugs and the drug scene.)

Your most salient point is sociological, and it's one that I agree with. There's something very ill-adjusted about the way we view these (really, all) drugs in our society, and there is something more authentically human about the black market versus the grey. Unfortunately, though, this "authenticity" includes a lot of unpleasantness, violence, risk to bodily integrity and freedom and finances, all of it. I just don't have the stomach for it anymore. So as far as drugs go, I really do without, except what I am duly prescribed, and in a certain sense, that's contravening what I would conceive of as my fundamental human rights, from a libertarian perspective, that is, my cognitive liberty. Basically I've taken the blue pill. I've had a lot of dear friends die and wind up in prison and other terrible things, and I just don't have the heart for it anymore. Besides, I have a good "real job" and don't want to jeopardize that.

Now my interest in things is totally intellectual, and really, if I'm not getting high anymore, I'm pursuing that better. When getting high all the time, I think great thoughts, but don't really do anything with them, sobriety, or rather, medicated sobriety, is more optimal than that. I'd like to get off the psychotopic meds, and I'm almost totally tapered off of the benzos (Valium, I take maybe 2mg q.o.d.) and I'm slowly edging down on my Suboxone. Dexedrine is a terrible thing if overdone, and a wonderfulk tonic if the dose is correctly given at the right time and you remember to eat, sleep, etc. It's hard to do for me, though, I can easily go overboard. I have to constantly self-correct.

I totally forgot about your forum. I have a hard time juggling more than one forum. BL is sort of as much as I can handle at the moment. Lame excuse, I know. ;)


^ Same here, I signed up to your forum SKL but because of using 2-3 other forums I just didn't manage to stay active. Haven't visited in ages, I should take a look and see how it's doing :)

Log in and you'll see what I'm doing with the place. Totally reworking it with a new back end. Check it out :)

LSDMDMA&10106635 said:
So skl, i've got a question
since you're legitimately prescribed dexedrine, that makes it ok right?
i distinctly remember you giving me shit for using dexedrine, even though i do have a legitimate prescription for dexedrine.

Flame, possibly OTT, enclosed here:

NSFW:

I see that this forum is still infested with your cacophonous, tepid, mediocre, intellectually sterile and grammatically perverse drivel. The fact that you are seriously making this comparison continues to show your astonishing lack of maturity, intellectual curiosity, or any meaningful capacity of self-reflection or examination. The fact that people on your level, and with your attitude, purport to share in the same "scene" that I do truly saddens and upsets me, and is another example of how the mainstreaming of the drug scene is a tragic and dangerous thing. I am loath to even dignify your query with a response, so I will keep it to just two words, "use" versus "misuse," and I will return you to my ignore list, which, to be honest, I don't even know why you came off of it in the first place.

Perhaps during the site upgrade? In any event, your presence here lowers the level of discourse and that is making me sad, because Bluelight deserves better. The fact that you haven't been banned speaks ill of the current administration here. Indeed, perhaps you haven't contravened any rules, but it's not about rules, it's about not being fit to be a part of a community which operates on a higher level than you do. You had ought to come back once you have humbled yourself and gained a little bit more life experience, in short, once you grow the fuck up, but you don't belong here. And if the people who run this place are unwilling to cause that to happen, because of too much of a commitment to the letter of the law, or a desire to avoid hurting feelings, I'll set the forum to try to emulate this outcome as far as my view of the site goes. Ciao.


**something really strange is happening with this post,sorry if you see it double...I am still trying to get used to the new layout of bluelight...it seems to act different in oddy unquantifiable ways. & i'm just not accustomed to it. the only post I've made since it changed was to complain about it, lol.
 
I really enjoyed Dirty Pictures myself, a great documentary. I believe I was rather high while watching it though so I missed a few parts due to short term memory loss.

I'll check out the site again today SKL :)

Edit: You know have 2 posts, it beats the 3 earlier though haha :D Just delete one.

Edit2: Just testing if edit times are correct.
 
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Oral MXE is quite heavy. Too much right now. I think I only took 17 mg. Or did I? I'm confused. I might have taken too much maybe, but why?

Write that Report Green! before it get lost in the universe and all that
 
Oral MXE is quite heavy. Too much right now. I think I only took 17 mg. Or did I? I'm confused. I might have taken too much maybe, but why?

Write that Report Green! before it get lost in the universe and all that

It's funny you say that, I'm actually halfway through writing it :)
 
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