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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth

(15mg 2C-E+35mg MXE, experienced) A Minor Psychotic Episode

ephrem

Bluelighter
Joined
May 8, 2011
Messages
113
[I hope the mods don't mind but the blogs don't have that many readers so I wanted to repost this experience in TR aswell]


There's little doubt in my mind that last night was something I was working towards since I started with research chemicals at the beginning of the year.

The dissatisfaction with being alone and the feeling of leading an empty and pointless life, no matter how relatively comfortably off I am, slowly culminated in last night's wake-up call.

Not only did I start drinking during the last few weeks, which I didn't do before, but the frequency of RC-use increased also from once a week to three or four times a week. MXE, trypts- and 2C-Xs, cathinones, O-des, you name it. Never mixed them though, just one RC at the time and no redosing.

Until yesterday.

I started with some 4-MEC early in the afternoon. It didn't do much but in combination with beer it gave a nice buzz regardless. So around 6 PM the time came to prepare 15mg of 2C-E. Took the cap on a full stomach, went for a bike ride and came back without feeling much. Watched a movie and during the movie, somehow, the 2C-E sneaked up on me with a vengeance. Very lovely and nothing really out of the ordinary.

It wasn't enough though.

You know how you can make a decision you know you'll regret but still do it anyway? Right. Taking the MXE out was that kind of a decision.

30 mgs sublingual washed away with beer. Didn't appear to do much and twenty minutes later another 15 mgs went down the same way.

I watched movies the whole night and that kept me grounded, I guess. When I felt the MXE taking hold of me the fact I was watching a movie kept me together, but then.. it finished.

Everything else finished too. My time and place in reality, the room I was in, the inner monologue of thought, every boundery of self just melted away into a state of profound confusion and sadness.

"Now you've done it" was my last thought before I crawled into bed incapable of recognizing anything except a sense of loss permeating every fibre of my body.

I'm not unfamiliar with having the sensation of hearing someone else's thoughts during trips. I quite enjoy it when that happens actually because there's always an incling that it's drug induced. Not so in this case.

Different thoughtpatterns took over. They flowed from an elderly gentleman into a nordic shaman back to confusion, back to me until I slipped away again.


Tagged by bindingaffinity
substancecode_mxe
substancecode_achs
substancecode_dissociatives
substancecode_2ce
substancecode_phenethylamines
substancecode_4mec
substancecode_cathinones
substancecode_stimulants
_combo_
explevel_experienced
exptype_neutral
exptype_difficult
exptype_addiction
roacode_oral
roacode_sublingual


I can't tell you how long this lasted. Time did not exist in a meaningful way. I do remember that at one point I was able to remind myself of my age, which grounded me somewhat.

When everything subsided into a manageable state of affairs I took two Etizolam and tried to get to bed knowing that sleep cures all. It took a good while before drifting off into a welcome oblivion.

This morning I woke up without a hangover. Slightly tired and intimidated by the whole ordeal, but what the real consequences are of this trip waits to be seen during the coming week. Integration is key and I definitely need to remind myself of this night next time I feel the urge to delve into my little Pandora's box because the way things are going it could very well end up somewhere I don't want to be.

Time to turn over a new leaf.
 
Thanks. The headspace from a psychedelic and a disassociative was strange indeed, lol. I'm in no hurry to revisit that place again, if at all.

The experience did lead me to making a decision regarding my life in general. I actually ended up in a positive place because of it, and for that I'm grateful.
 
I suspect the stimulant use earlier in the day was a crucial factor in this.

I would not want to feel the inevitable feelings of sadness and loss due to depleted neurotransmitter levels associated with stimulant use (aka "the crash") while on psychedelic drugs.

Good luck.
 
I didn't think the amount of 4-MEC would, or could, result in such a rapid depletion that it caused this experience, but I can't rule it out either.

All I do know is that this combo will not be repeated, lol.

Thanks!
 
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