MarcChagalsGhost
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2011
- Messages
- 8
As this is my first post on here, I suppose I should start with a bit of background about me and why I’ve decided to share my experience. I’m no stranger to the altered state, but I don’t want to get bogged down so I’ll try to be brief. I’m 36 now, and I first smoked cannabis when I was 15; took LSD for the first time at 16, and was hitting MDMA quite hard by 17. I had a bit of a problem with amphetamines in my early twenties which ceased following a nasty crash, and I used cocaine semi regularly for about three months in my late twenties. Up until I was 30 I tried just about every drug imaginable. The only thing that ever caused me any real problems was alcohol – which I continued to use regularly until mid 2010.
Looking at even just the drugs I have mentioned here, I can imagine an outsider picturing a bit of a strung out waster. To paraphrase Bill Hicks though, I was never late for work; never lost a job... laughed my fuckin’ ass off... In fact, I have been to university twice – studying art and computer science. I am a proficient (I would even say talented) musician. I have held down a few good jobs, and maintained good relationships with girlfriends, friends and family. From the age of 30 until mid 2009 I had I had pretty much quit drugs (except alcohol, the occasional line of coke, and the occasional night on Ecstasy), but started to dip my toe back in again. The main reason for this is that I wanted to stop drinking, but still wanted to get a bit out of it now and again. However, I had lost all of my drug contacts and started to do a bit of online research into legal alternatives. I didn’t really fancy BZP, mephadrone, or anything like that – although I have since dabbled. AMT seemed promising but unavailable until last year. Eventually, I got hold of a gram of X15 Salvia and 25 HBW seeds. Salvia was interesting but a little intense and panicky for my liking. I’ve had a few really rewarding LSA adventures, and by the time I finally got hold of some AMT my alcohol consumption was down to zero.
Now I will get to the point. During the early hours of Friday morning, I had my most intense drug experience ever. I can’t really describe what happened sufficiently, but will give it my best shot. I have dabbled with Ketamine and N2O, and have tried DXM at several doses (never worked for me – I’ve read somewhere that there are a small number of people who DXM simply doesn’t work for... or perhaps I was just ripped off). I have always wanted to try PCP, but have never been able to find any. Around November last year I started to notice Methoxetamine being mentioned a bit online - I have been following the MXE threads on here since. As soon as it became available I obtained 100mg just as a taster. For my first foray I divided 50mg into five 10mg lines – sniffing just half of one of these lines to begin with. I don’t really want to go into details about what happened then or subsequently. I think everything I’ve been through until this morning has been covered elsewhere by others in the MXE B&D threads. I eventually started overdoing it a bit, and ended up binning about half a gram following a rather disturbing trip around July this year. After a relatively long period of abstention I began getting small amounts again and limiting my use.
In fact, until Wednesday I hadn’t used MXE for over a month. I got hold of 500mg with the intention of doing around 30-50mg when I got it, and saving the rest until Christmas time. As soon as I measured out 30mg I noticed that the texture was different – a bit sticky... clumpy... The texture of the stuff I’ve had before has varied, but the quality always seemed consistent. This stuff had a different quality though. While the unmistakable MXE flavour was there, it seemed rather week. I waited for over an hour and then did another 10mg. I continued waiting then doing a bit more to no significant change all night. Eventually I gave up and went to bed – got through about 100mg with the last hit taken around two hours before. I was disappointed but also a bit relieved. Well at least now I could draw a line under my MXE use... not bother getting any more since the quality had clearly dropped, maybe never again to return. Not worth taking the chance again. However, soon after I had pulled the duvet over my head and closed my eyes the familiar; falling down a hole while simultaneously being pulled upwards sensation began to grip me. The trip, while somewhat delayed, was intense, but nothing that I wasn’t used to or prepared for. However, I was aware of some sort of benign presence which while I have heard people describing, have never personally experienced. This presence occasionally began to manifest itself visually, but then dissolved into flowing, undulating, neon waves before re-constituting itself into a similar form; almost reaching a solid, humanoid shape before dissolving again. This process went on for god knows how long until I was sucked quite abruptly back into reality.
Over the last couple of weeks my sleeping patterns have gone mad. I haven’t been in work for a couple of months, and I tend to stay up all night and sleep of a day when left to my own devices. I have been in a bit of a rut as I don’t really like having nothing to do – I paint and make music, but even that drops off when I don’t have some type of structure. I have recently begun a new relationship too. However, we haven’t been able to see each other all week, and I have been at a bit of a loose end. So Thursday night at around 8pm I decided to see if I could get anything out of a bigger initial dose. While I like the more intense trips on MXE, I really prefer the euphoric, creatively charged, racing mind, anything is possible rush that I usually get from 30-40mg doses. This year I have filled three or four sketch books with writing and drawings while under the influence of MXE. When I have tried to be creative under the influence of other drugs in the past, with sober analysis most of my efforts have proved to be a bit shit. However, looking back through my sketch books from this year, I am surprised with how good the stuff I have done is. I also find that under 30ishmg doses, my musical ability both changes and improves. This change persists even after I stop taking MXE.
So Thursday night I started off with a 50mg dose. After waiting around two hours, the only change I noticed was a sort of clear headedness and a change in the colour and texture of the room I was sitting in. Everything seemed rather flat and lifeless, and I felt a bit empty. I began to repeat the process of the previous night, but give up at around the 80mg mark. I pottered around for a bit; drank cups of tea, watched a bit of TV, but never felt significantly different from the initial 50mg dose. That was until I went upstairs to use the toilet. I stood in the bathroom for I don’t know how long. What I felt was the peculiar time dilation that I associate with LSD. In fact, I felt like I was on LSD rather than MXE. I started to experience quite intense OEV’s, and even started to feel strange, unfocussed paranoia, and the sensation that I was being observed – something that has never happened before while I have been on MXE. Luckily, I was able to shake off the feeling before it became too unpleasant. Not long after, I went to bed and had a similar trip to the previous night.
Why – you may ask – did I decide to take more MXE on Friday night? I’m not too sure to be honest. However, I’m sort of glad I did. I don’t think I will be touching the stuff again – at least not for a long time. I have long suspected that MXE, while seemingly benign (in fact I think this feature is its most dangerous quality), has the potential to bite the user quite viciously on the arse. And boy where my suspicions confirmed this morning? I decided to take the sublingual route at about 8pm last night – around 40mg. I felt almost nothing. I didn’t even re-dose... well not until about 3am anyway. I took another 40mg sublingually. At around 5am I was still feeling nothing, so I did another 30mg nasally. About an hour later I still wasn’t feeling much. I picked up my acoustic guitar and began picking out a bit of an improvised riff around E minor and G. This is when the nice euphoric, creative feeling I had come to love about MXE began to build. I began to get really into the tune I was inventing; varying the riff; complicating it, and gradually resting into a solid groove. As the tune became more realised, the euphoria seemed to increase; which in turn further established the groove; which in turn increased the euphoria. It seemed that the music was intensifying the trip; which was intensifying the music, and so on... Eventually, I was simply picking out harmonics to a tune that was still playing in my head. Perhaps if I hadn’t taken the extra 30mg, what happened next wouldn’t have happened. And to be honest, I’m not completely sure what did happen...
... I lay flat on the floor of my living room with my guitar lay on top of me; the body on my chest, the neck pointed towards my feet. I was tapping out harmonics in unison with the indescribable music playing in my head with the fingers of my right hand. The guitar seemed to be melting into my body while simultaneously stretching into infinity; bending into fractal forms. The euphoria kept increasing until it started to get quite uncomfortable. I had the sensation that I was travelling down a narrow tube faster and faster; I could no longer really see anything but stretching light something like a representation of someone travelling at light speed through the universe. At first I just tried to relax into the experience. However, it just kept getting more and more intense... I was in new territory, and it wasn’t levelling out; I seemed to be going faster and faster. I stood up and tried to breathe deeply. I put the guitar on its stand (no idea how I managed this) and got down on my knees; stretching my hands forward in front of me on the floor. This gave me the sensation that I was diving into the floor; through the solid ground. Then I was being pulled up into the air and spun around backwards. I turned around and lay flat on my back. It felt like my heart was beating so fast that it was vibrating. I began to become aware of my surroundings again, but I was in a different room – I don’t remember moving. I could see the kitchen in the distance, even though it was only a few feet away. My heart still seemed to be beating far too fast, and I remember thinking ‘This is it. I am going to die’. Surprisingly, this didn’t really bother me that much. All sorts of abstract thoughts went through my head for what seemed like forever until I felt as though something pushed me up to my feet and I was completely aware of my surroundings. On my way up I said ‘Back to reality’ out loud. When this started, it was still dark outside. Now the sun was shining through the windows; everything had a shiny, crystal like texture and seemed to glow from within. I had a strange sensation that I was dead, and this was some sort of afterlife. I started walking quickly from room to room; I couldn’t keep still or relax. I was completely manic, and wanted to run outside; I kept mumbling to myself incoherently, not sure what to say but feeling like I had to say something. This lasted for quite some time. I felt really good, but shaken and a bit shocked. My body didn’t feel right at all; as if my limbs were trying to disconnect from my body and float off in different directions, and I seemed to be vibrating all over; I felt as If I was seeing the world for the first time. Eventually, I felt like I could relax a bit. I went into a period of feeling like I was on acid again, then finally started to feel something resembling normality...
Reading back what I have wrote, I realise that I don’t really have the words to fully describe what I went through this morning. I actually feel quite good today after a few hours of sleep - although I'm left with a worrying pulling sensation in my head, and a lingering sense of... whooooa????? I have had quite a few pretty intense trips on MXE, and even stopped using it for a while following a particularly worrying episode. However, this morning was far beyond anything I have ever experienced on any drug. I really believed I had fried my brain for a while, and was mentally preparing for a life on a psychiatric ward. The most worrying thing about it is the relatively low dose at which this happened, and the length of time which passed before the trip actually kicked in.
If I have put this report in the wrong place, or made any serious errors please let me know and I will try to fix them.
Tagged by bindingaffinity
substancecode_mxe
substancecode_achs
substancecode_dissociatives
explevel_experienced
exptype_negative
roacode_nasal
Looking at even just the drugs I have mentioned here, I can imagine an outsider picturing a bit of a strung out waster. To paraphrase Bill Hicks though, I was never late for work; never lost a job... laughed my fuckin’ ass off... In fact, I have been to university twice – studying art and computer science. I am a proficient (I would even say talented) musician. I have held down a few good jobs, and maintained good relationships with girlfriends, friends and family. From the age of 30 until mid 2009 I had I had pretty much quit drugs (except alcohol, the occasional line of coke, and the occasional night on Ecstasy), but started to dip my toe back in again. The main reason for this is that I wanted to stop drinking, but still wanted to get a bit out of it now and again. However, I had lost all of my drug contacts and started to do a bit of online research into legal alternatives. I didn’t really fancy BZP, mephadrone, or anything like that – although I have since dabbled. AMT seemed promising but unavailable until last year. Eventually, I got hold of a gram of X15 Salvia and 25 HBW seeds. Salvia was interesting but a little intense and panicky for my liking. I’ve had a few really rewarding LSA adventures, and by the time I finally got hold of some AMT my alcohol consumption was down to zero.
Now I will get to the point. During the early hours of Friday morning, I had my most intense drug experience ever. I can’t really describe what happened sufficiently, but will give it my best shot. I have dabbled with Ketamine and N2O, and have tried DXM at several doses (never worked for me – I’ve read somewhere that there are a small number of people who DXM simply doesn’t work for... or perhaps I was just ripped off). I have always wanted to try PCP, but have never been able to find any. Around November last year I started to notice Methoxetamine being mentioned a bit online - I have been following the MXE threads on here since. As soon as it became available I obtained 100mg just as a taster. For my first foray I divided 50mg into five 10mg lines – sniffing just half of one of these lines to begin with. I don’t really want to go into details about what happened then or subsequently. I think everything I’ve been through until this morning has been covered elsewhere by others in the MXE B&D threads. I eventually started overdoing it a bit, and ended up binning about half a gram following a rather disturbing trip around July this year. After a relatively long period of abstention I began getting small amounts again and limiting my use.
In fact, until Wednesday I hadn’t used MXE for over a month. I got hold of 500mg with the intention of doing around 30-50mg when I got it, and saving the rest until Christmas time. As soon as I measured out 30mg I noticed that the texture was different – a bit sticky... clumpy... The texture of the stuff I’ve had before has varied, but the quality always seemed consistent. This stuff had a different quality though. While the unmistakable MXE flavour was there, it seemed rather week. I waited for over an hour and then did another 10mg. I continued waiting then doing a bit more to no significant change all night. Eventually I gave up and went to bed – got through about 100mg with the last hit taken around two hours before. I was disappointed but also a bit relieved. Well at least now I could draw a line under my MXE use... not bother getting any more since the quality had clearly dropped, maybe never again to return. Not worth taking the chance again. However, soon after I had pulled the duvet over my head and closed my eyes the familiar; falling down a hole while simultaneously being pulled upwards sensation began to grip me. The trip, while somewhat delayed, was intense, but nothing that I wasn’t used to or prepared for. However, I was aware of some sort of benign presence which while I have heard people describing, have never personally experienced. This presence occasionally began to manifest itself visually, but then dissolved into flowing, undulating, neon waves before re-constituting itself into a similar form; almost reaching a solid, humanoid shape before dissolving again. This process went on for god knows how long until I was sucked quite abruptly back into reality.
Over the last couple of weeks my sleeping patterns have gone mad. I haven’t been in work for a couple of months, and I tend to stay up all night and sleep of a day when left to my own devices. I have been in a bit of a rut as I don’t really like having nothing to do – I paint and make music, but even that drops off when I don’t have some type of structure. I have recently begun a new relationship too. However, we haven’t been able to see each other all week, and I have been at a bit of a loose end. So Thursday night at around 8pm I decided to see if I could get anything out of a bigger initial dose. While I like the more intense trips on MXE, I really prefer the euphoric, creatively charged, racing mind, anything is possible rush that I usually get from 30-40mg doses. This year I have filled three or four sketch books with writing and drawings while under the influence of MXE. When I have tried to be creative under the influence of other drugs in the past, with sober analysis most of my efforts have proved to be a bit shit. However, looking back through my sketch books from this year, I am surprised with how good the stuff I have done is. I also find that under 30ishmg doses, my musical ability both changes and improves. This change persists even after I stop taking MXE.
So Thursday night I started off with a 50mg dose. After waiting around two hours, the only change I noticed was a sort of clear headedness and a change in the colour and texture of the room I was sitting in. Everything seemed rather flat and lifeless, and I felt a bit empty. I began to repeat the process of the previous night, but give up at around the 80mg mark. I pottered around for a bit; drank cups of tea, watched a bit of TV, but never felt significantly different from the initial 50mg dose. That was until I went upstairs to use the toilet. I stood in the bathroom for I don’t know how long. What I felt was the peculiar time dilation that I associate with LSD. In fact, I felt like I was on LSD rather than MXE. I started to experience quite intense OEV’s, and even started to feel strange, unfocussed paranoia, and the sensation that I was being observed – something that has never happened before while I have been on MXE. Luckily, I was able to shake off the feeling before it became too unpleasant. Not long after, I went to bed and had a similar trip to the previous night.
Why – you may ask – did I decide to take more MXE on Friday night? I’m not too sure to be honest. However, I’m sort of glad I did. I don’t think I will be touching the stuff again – at least not for a long time. I have long suspected that MXE, while seemingly benign (in fact I think this feature is its most dangerous quality), has the potential to bite the user quite viciously on the arse. And boy where my suspicions confirmed this morning? I decided to take the sublingual route at about 8pm last night – around 40mg. I felt almost nothing. I didn’t even re-dose... well not until about 3am anyway. I took another 40mg sublingually. At around 5am I was still feeling nothing, so I did another 30mg nasally. About an hour later I still wasn’t feeling much. I picked up my acoustic guitar and began picking out a bit of an improvised riff around E minor and G. This is when the nice euphoric, creative feeling I had come to love about MXE began to build. I began to get really into the tune I was inventing; varying the riff; complicating it, and gradually resting into a solid groove. As the tune became more realised, the euphoria seemed to increase; which in turn further established the groove; which in turn increased the euphoria. It seemed that the music was intensifying the trip; which was intensifying the music, and so on... Eventually, I was simply picking out harmonics to a tune that was still playing in my head. Perhaps if I hadn’t taken the extra 30mg, what happened next wouldn’t have happened. And to be honest, I’m not completely sure what did happen...
... I lay flat on the floor of my living room with my guitar lay on top of me; the body on my chest, the neck pointed towards my feet. I was tapping out harmonics in unison with the indescribable music playing in my head with the fingers of my right hand. The guitar seemed to be melting into my body while simultaneously stretching into infinity; bending into fractal forms. The euphoria kept increasing until it started to get quite uncomfortable. I had the sensation that I was travelling down a narrow tube faster and faster; I could no longer really see anything but stretching light something like a representation of someone travelling at light speed through the universe. At first I just tried to relax into the experience. However, it just kept getting more and more intense... I was in new territory, and it wasn’t levelling out; I seemed to be going faster and faster. I stood up and tried to breathe deeply. I put the guitar on its stand (no idea how I managed this) and got down on my knees; stretching my hands forward in front of me on the floor. This gave me the sensation that I was diving into the floor; through the solid ground. Then I was being pulled up into the air and spun around backwards. I turned around and lay flat on my back. It felt like my heart was beating so fast that it was vibrating. I began to become aware of my surroundings again, but I was in a different room – I don’t remember moving. I could see the kitchen in the distance, even though it was only a few feet away. My heart still seemed to be beating far too fast, and I remember thinking ‘This is it. I am going to die’. Surprisingly, this didn’t really bother me that much. All sorts of abstract thoughts went through my head for what seemed like forever until I felt as though something pushed me up to my feet and I was completely aware of my surroundings. On my way up I said ‘Back to reality’ out loud. When this started, it was still dark outside. Now the sun was shining through the windows; everything had a shiny, crystal like texture and seemed to glow from within. I had a strange sensation that I was dead, and this was some sort of afterlife. I started walking quickly from room to room; I couldn’t keep still or relax. I was completely manic, and wanted to run outside; I kept mumbling to myself incoherently, not sure what to say but feeling like I had to say something. This lasted for quite some time. I felt really good, but shaken and a bit shocked. My body didn’t feel right at all; as if my limbs were trying to disconnect from my body and float off in different directions, and I seemed to be vibrating all over; I felt as If I was seeing the world for the first time. Eventually, I felt like I could relax a bit. I went into a period of feeling like I was on acid again, then finally started to feel something resembling normality...
Reading back what I have wrote, I realise that I don’t really have the words to fully describe what I went through this morning. I actually feel quite good today after a few hours of sleep - although I'm left with a worrying pulling sensation in my head, and a lingering sense of... whooooa????? I have had quite a few pretty intense trips on MXE, and even stopped using it for a while following a particularly worrying episode. However, this morning was far beyond anything I have ever experienced on any drug. I really believed I had fried my brain for a while, and was mentally preparing for a life on a psychiatric ward. The most worrying thing about it is the relatively low dose at which this happened, and the length of time which passed before the trip actually kicked in.
If I have put this report in the wrong place, or made any serious errors please let me know and I will try to fix them.
Tagged by bindingaffinity
substancecode_mxe
substancecode_achs
substancecode_dissociatives
explevel_experienced
exptype_negative
roacode_nasal
