9th Issue Heroin Discussion v. quit drooling on yo keyboard

When do you smoke cigarettes?


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@Highonlife: Nah I didn't start bangin to sophmore year I believe.
Thanks blue valentine, I will. I'm honestly just going to try to get on methadone the second I turn 18 and hopefully keep my dose under 70 mgs. Ive used subs before, but the clean never lasts.. I need to something to stablize myself and help make me get my shit in line.

If you think that you will really need to be on methadone to stay clean, then I guess that is fine, but you should try your best to quit without it. You also might want to consider trying suboxone again, but this time let your parents hold onto them and have you dose each day. You are young enough to change and make this be like a bad phase you went though. I know some kids that were really bad into drugs in high school, but they were able to quit before they turned 20, and they never looked back.

What are your plans for next year if you don't mind me asking? You are young enough to completely change your lifestyle and the type of people that you hang out with. You don't have to live the life of a junky that has to get on methadone and be in programs forever. Try to find a different group of friends that doesn't do that shit. If you quit now it will be so much easier for you to live a better life. Like I said, I knew people that were bad into drugs like you, but quit by 20 and are 25 now, and they are able to look back at the whole dope thing as a bad phase in their life that they got over. If you are on dope for most of these developmental stages of your life, then that is all you will know. If you stop now, you will have time to learn how to live a normal life that isn't centered around drugs.

Really think about it. Your life doesn't have to continue this way.
 
And chinky--now I am not gonna give it up then hand HIM money, lol, he gave me 4 bags while we were hanging out this afternoon, then sent me back home with 6 more...I thought that was pretty nice; like I said I didn't really wanna ask him for shit, but I knew he'd give me something so I just waited to see what he would do and I was pretty happy with what he did.

im curious if you kissed him when you left





spite i just couldnt imagine doin dope in highschool..i was doin pills in highschool but not that much maybe twice a month back then, then after my senior year i prolly started doin pills once a week and kept that routine for a couple years,, at the same time i was doin lots of other drugs like coke and E and K and nitrous tanks and boomers..to thinik if i was on dope back then like i am now my college years would have sucked and wouldbnt have been half as fun..i was sellin mad weed back then and had so much money..twice me and 3 friends told our parents that we wher gonna go to the cottage in michigan and be gone 5days when we really went to las vegas once and another time we went to florida...i had friends who had houses in each place (well vegas was a condo) with cars and the keys to these houses werent hiddin or anyhting like that so they would just take the keys and we would fly and no o ne knew the differance...my family still doesnt know i went to vegas when i was 21 and i was able to convince my mom to pay for a plane ticket to florida to meet up with my friend and his family when in reality we just partied it up by ourselves well the 4 of us for a week with out his family i did that when i was 20..we would come home and put the house key back and nones family knew shit...supposedly we forgot to clean up an ashtray or a gatoraid bottle we used as an ashtray on the porch down in florida but my friend just said it was his from the last time he and his family went down there and they bought it although they where pissed cause he was 18 at the time and "sneaking cigarettes"..

but aside from those big trips in planes we took prolly 100little trips everyweekend ..see in the summers people from chicago all have cottages and houses in michigan and wisconsin as little getaways for the weekend, normally they are no farther then 3hours and 90% are all on lakes and have boats and jet skis and all that good shit..sure we have lake michigan but the lake is dirty and the beaches are alwasy packed mainly with familys and are just annoying, so if you got a little money or alot of the times the entire family will throw down and get cottages and you just go for a few days, whenever you want.. no need to pack cause you just leave everything there cause its not far and we would go damn near everyweekend to someones cottage ( i know prolly 5people with cottages or houses out of state all on lakes in the same situation..we would normally just go to 2 of them cause those familes wernt as strict..and its the best going with parents cvause they made sure dinner was made and they would buy alot of our alcohol)...butwe would always leave on thursday night so we would beat traffic and have 2fulldays to bullshit on the lAKE and we still go to the cottages but we are getting old to have an entire crew of 25yearolds running around gettin drunk like we are 19 again, but its also not as easy for everyone to get off work and our girlfriends want to go, so we got to plan it as opposed to just jumpin in the car and going with a backpack like we did for so many years

and during the rest of the year we woul;d go visit our friends at schools and party the weekend and when we went to schools it was about makin money too..sometimes people would need weed and it wasnt unheard of to bring a pound with me, sometimes more but then i would take the train...there was more then a few times when i would bring an OZ of coke and be able to sell that all in a day..show up thurday night place the phone calls and normally by 5pm on saturday the whole OZ would be gone minus the half a ball i kept at home and the ball or 1 1/2 we would keep to play with ourselves and the girls...now i didnt sell coke back at home cause i didnt really like it or like sellin it to my friends but down at school when you start drinking sometimes at 1pm for bar crawls its more like a special occasion and also cause coke is like twice the price it is here and you could really make a killing...like i said an OZ sold in a day and half well 7balls was crazy and to go party for 3 days and come home with more money then i left even though u know you bought 2bottles of patron among other things and then theres still an extra $500 on top of that.... great memories

if i was a junky back then i wouldnt have done half the shit i did..so if anything the dope will always be there, its not goin away but these next few years will be the greatest ones of your life and they will come and go real quick..so im not saying stop doing dope but man jus think of all the other things you can do with out being tied down to an addiction mentally , physically, emotionally and the most important...financially


i know its long but i just took a trip down memory lane and called a couple friends to talk about a few things we did..and thats something id like to see you do
 
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^ Word man, I feel the same way. I went to community college after high school, but I was working full time making money, so it was no big deal to just round up some friends to go and visit our friends that were away at school. It was just weed and some vikes back then, but man it was great not being tied down to anything, and being able to just hop in my car and make the 3-4 hour trip to stay with friends at their college. I got some decent grades at community college, and even though I had caught a habit before finishing there, I was able to leave the habit behind while I went away to school and got my bachelors degree. It was the best decision I made, going away to a school that I knew didn't have any dope around.

Spite, I think I recall you saying that you chill with older dudes. Just because they are now in the position where they are strung out on dope or on done doesn't mean that you are in the same boat as them. Now I don't know your whole situation, but chances are that your family will help you out if you are at least doing decent in life in terms of a job or school. It's not like you are in your mid-20s where they will cut you off if you are screwing up.

You're not supposed to be worrying about shit like this right now. Your biggest concern should be just scraping by in school and making a few bucks. It shouldn't be about not scoring dope to keep the sick away and dodging police all the time. It would suck for you to miss out on all the fun stuff you should be doing at this age because of dope. There is plenty of time to be strung out when you are older. As chinky said, the dope isn't going anywhere.

You aren't doomed into being a junky forever. Just do one thing to better yourself, and the reward might make you realize how much better things can get if you continue to better yourself.
 
yeah man i dont want to come off as being preachy and talking down, imn tryin the to pass the info more like an older brother would..im not sayting dont do drugs its just dont let it control your life at least not yet...i mean now adays i dont want to go to a bar if im sick and sometimes id rather just sit at home then go out...to think that it could ruin trips or possibly make you not want to go on trips cause of it sucks..thinkin about "do i spend 300bucks and go out of town with my friends this weekend, or do i keep that money and go buy some dope with it and save the rest to get high for the next week or 2?"..honestly it should be a no brainer, you go out of town and party it up with your friends but when you got a dope habit you almost dont need friends and will choose dope over them and thats sad..

these next 3-5years are your real hardcore party years and will be the best times of your life, dont go wasteing them man...control the dope, dont let the bitch control you, at least for the next few years..look at it like a highschool girlfriend you had your fling for a few years, now its time to dump the bitch and be single in college...every now and then you might meet up and hook up with her but after a night or 2 you go back to livin the single life cause you dont want to start catching feelings...then 3,4,5years down the line you might meet her again and fall back in love but then at least you know if you want her back or not...right now you cant live without her cause shes the only thing you know and your first love but trust me you can...
 
^ Damn. Did you come up with that analogy on the spot or had you thought of it before? Either way, that's a good way to put it.
 
thanks man yeah i just thought of that right now..i orginally had" control the dope, dont let the dope control you"... and i thought i was using dope to much so i changed it to bitch and when i did that the analogy just kinda popped in my head as i was able to run with it

lookin back though now (even though it was like 5mins ago that posted it lol) but lookin back it is a good one that can be passed on and really an easy and smart way to make it stick and make you think of it
 
yeah man i dont want to come off as being preachy and talking down, imn tryin the to pass the info more like an older brother would..im not sayting dont do drugs its just dont let it control your life at least not yet...i mean now adays i dont want to go to a bar if im sick and sometimes id rather just sit at home then go out...to think that it could ruin trips or possibly make you not want to go on trips cause of it sucks..thinkin about "do i spend 300bucks and go out of town with my friends this weekend, or do i keep that money and go buy some dope with it and save the rest to get high for the next week or 2?"..honestly it should be a no brainer, you go out of town and party it up with your friends but when you got a dope habit you almost dont need friends and will choose dope over them and that is sad..

I used to go out all the damn time... Going out with friends or sometimes even alone
to bars,clubs,raves,outlaws, concerts chilling with friends & chasing girls working my game.
Ever since I have increased my usage of smack I have became even more anti-social than i originally was
I right now do not have a job and I having a hard time finding one due to the fact that the economy is tanking,
and I have a nice felony of drug distribution on my record doesn't seem to help a man find a job. I am just glad
that I live In the #1 Smack state in America & the prices are amazing along with a steady flow of fire
 
so it's quarter til 8am, and this is the time that i most find myself wishing that columbus had an open air market. blah. i know im gonna hafta wait hours still before i can score, and ive already been waiting hours. stupid city.
 
Tommy,

That bag is looking right, my man. And the powder looks good, too. It has that flat tan, almost gray color, that I've come to expect from good dope. I'm jealous.

EDIT: I'm 72 hours without right now, and I feel fine, but I just know that I'm going to score soon...
 
Chinky, yes I did...

You guys gave spitesuicide some good advice. I like your analogy chinky. Spite, I also agree with tommyboy about trying subs again if you can. Methadone can help you, but I honestly feel that with suboxone you would have a better chance at trying to taper off til you are completely clean. Whatever you end up taking I would just try to make it temporary, a stepping-off tool if you will, instead of planning on a possibly lifelong maintenance program when at your age you do have a good chance to change it.

Before I was actually addicted to smack I used to go out alot and I had a great time at college. Once I was an addict I barely wanted to go out; I'd rather just sit around and watch tv...(like you unbreakable, it has definitely made me more anti-social!) I guess what I'm saying is smack will cause you to miss out on so much, so I sincerely hope you are able to at least get it under control so you can enjoy this time in your life! OK, lecture over, sorry if I offended you, but I do care.
 
I thought that I was missing out on so much too until I realized that even my friends who don't do drugs are in a tough spot. I've gone out, man, and I've had a couple of drinks with friends and times aren't good right now, not for me or for anyone else, really. It's not like it once was; I'm twenty-three years old now and those carefree college days are long gone. I'm in a ridiculous amount of debt, not exactly drug related, believe it or not... I'm working two jobs, and even if I payed my bills and went out with my unemployed friends for drinks every weekend, well, I would still be broke and unhappy and whatever else.

It's like choosing between having zero dollars in your checking account or -80 dollars in your checking account; well, fuck, if I'm going to be broke and unhappy anyway then at least give me some dope.
 
working on clean day no. 5. through the worst of the wd's. still at times look like a 5'10'' cold turkey, my skin being all bumpy. but i am getting my energy back, and feelin decent! walked to the library, but unfortunately it was closed. oh well, it was very nice to take a walk. its a beautiful day!



@weldermayne: dude you are so right. one can NEVER have enough dope. thats what i hate about it. never satisfied..
 
The bad thing about dope is you never have enough. Kinda like coke.

Eh. I never really re-dose on dope. I mean I will sniff my bags one at a time to gauge how high they get me, but once I am high I'm good for the night. It's not like coke where you are up all night re-doseing until the sun comes up.

Now of course most of us want to use the next day, and the day after, and the day after etc.... so in that sense you never have enough.
 
TRM, I remember after the time J and I detoxed cold turkey and stayed clean awhile, after about a week J was outside talking about how all the colors looked brighter to him...he felt like the dope kinda dulled everything, and everything was extra vivid once he was through the worst of the wd's...you talking about taking a walk on a beautiful day reminded me of him saying that. I am so happy to hear that you are through the worst, feeling decent, and getting fresh air...that's really cool!

I find that with dope I don't need to keep on doing it and doing it the way it would be with coke for instance, BUT instead you just need it on a daily basis which can be just as bad!
 
ah dope is just as bad as coke for me, especially when i shot my dope. i would lock myself in the bathroom all afternoon, and take shot after shot.

but anyways, that probably has to do with my personality. its like that with any drug i like, i can never have enough..



"smoke it till its all gone"
 
TRM, I remember after the time J and I detoxed cold turkey and stayed clean awhile, after about a week J was outside talking about how all the colors looked brighter to him...he felt like the dope kinda dulled everything, and everything was extra vivid once he was through the worst of the wd's...you talking about taking a walk on a beautiful day reminded me of him saying that. I am so happy to hear that you are through the worst, feeling decent, and getting fresh air...that's really cool!

This is so true. When I was strung out real bad nothing in life was exciting at all, I was just a zombie programmed to getting my fix 24/7 and the only things I cared about was that rush of copping, shooting dope and nodding. Hell, I had a good looking girlfriend too and I wasn't even interested in having sex because I had no sex drive at all. Then when I got clean the air smelled fresher, music sounded amazing, girls looked fucking amazing I felt like a 12 year old again I was damn horny, and overall the little thing in life seemed to be easier to appreciate, for instance just being able to wake up not sick. Ahhh... but dope feels great too you know this. But getting clean can be amazing.
 
Chinky and Tommy you guys are giving out some great advice. It's better to learn a lesson early on in life then to struggle with it your whole life. Some people just have the opportunity to catch them selves before they slip to deep. The cravings never really go away fully though.
 
ya i would say that it never goes away i was on and off it for 6yrs i had to move to get away from it ive been clean for like to months i just moved to Chicago but guess what that monkey is ready to jump right back on me i know that shit is all around here its just a matter of time before it finds me or i find it.
 
This is so true. When I was strung out real bad nothing in life was exciting at all, I was just a zombie programmed to getting my fix 24/7 and the only things I cared about was that rush of copping, shooting dope and nodding. Hell, I had a good looking girlfriend too and I wasn't even interested in having sex because I had no sex drive at all. Then when I got clean the air smelled fresher, music sounded amazing, girls looked fucking amazing I felt like a 12 year old again I was damn horny, and overall the little thing in life seemed to be easier to appreciate, for instance just being able to wake up not sick. Ahhh... but dope feels great too you know this. But getting clean can be amazing.

The last time I made it through acute wd was just like that for me too. It's weird but, true. I particularly remember the air and the fresh smell of it. Definitely a good way to know you're through it.
 
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