How to help someone with depression / Anxiety / OCD?

[Jabberwocky]

Hi all,

have come here to ask for some answers / suggestions in regards to the thread title. More or less my mum has been battling depression / anxiety / OCD ever since I can remember. We live in Australia however have come from eastern europe many years ago. Any how the customs / values these people have instilled within themselves are rather stuffed, in the sense that it causes more damage then good. As a result my mum has not wanted to get help ever and always shifts her illness onto someone else, saying they are to blame or they are the one's that are sick but never her.

I myself have had depression for many years as well as anxiety which I attribute a lot to my mum, more so because I lived in her reality of mood swings etc and verbal torture / manipulation. Any how I have been been on medication the last year and getting help through a psychologist as well. I have learnt to seperate the two realities now and am no longer as such influenced by my mum. My dad does nothing but keep quiet and our way to combat her has been to conform to what she says to quiten her or constantly lie to let her think that x thing that she has requested is happening.

Bad instances of her day would include her crying over why we won't give her large sums of money or why she is not dictating everything but rather we are dictating our own lives. I understand that she was guided by fear as a young person due to having an abusive father and a bit of a hard life.

Overall I would prefer that she at least lives in some peace for the rest of her life rather then throw depressing tantrums which affects everyone elses well being around her. Any help would be much appreciated......



Thanks

 

[ocean]

Have you discussed this with your therapist?
Would your mother consider seeing a therapist?
Have you ever approached her on any of this? If so, how did she respond?
Having a heart to heart with her on your concerns for her, suggesting she seek help or somehow on her own come to accept her life for what it is and not what she can not control, may be the best way to go. Ideally, professional help would be best, but if not, you can try to work with her.
BUT if she is unwilling to help herself,you'll have to let it go.....like you said, separating the two realities......... You have to live your life, and find happiness for yourself.
Let us know how things go.........
Glad to hear you are doing better with medication and therapy!

 

[panic in paradise]

a psychologist and hypo/suggestive therapy would be my first step.

a mood stabilizer (preferably lithium) and a looong half life benzo sounds good to me. for some reason though, i doubt she would be open to meds, or would want off them after a month or so.
st johns wort, and valerien could be a good intro if she doesnt want psych meds, and maybe if she did try the herbal supplements, over time she may feel more comfortable with a script.

idk, try sitting her down and if she realizes that she is not living a fair life, and that there are aspects she can control... her not admitting, or denying the need for help is taking a toll on you and others, and it doesnt have to be this way, she, nor you have to contend or struggle daily with something that can be helped.

she cant control this, its been so long, these last decades could be unlike the others she, you, and your dad deserve piece of mind.

going over the pros and cons, writing them out and seeing them can be very moving. writing; what you need or want, dont need or want, the problems, resolutions, means of success, and honest feeling of continentment with the out come and methods used to obtain the outcome.

from what you've described, i gather most outcomes came with haste, or by the skin of her teeth; hopefully she will admit this, and realize that life doesnt have to be a struggle. if you are stuck climbing uphill for life, that needs to be accepted, and a comfortable pace can be established from there with the acceptance of help.

kind of cheesy but, you and your dad could promise her a holiday to Rome or something if she takes all the steps recommended by a MD. i bet if she does, and there is success, she will feel as if she has conquered it, and would be fine with out going anywhere.

good luck, and keep trying.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I'll put it this way, I have to keep myself going to see a psych and taking anti depressants a secret.

Overall she thinks i'm an idiot / blah blah for seeing a psych and believes everyone can sort there own problems out and that it's ok to make peoples lives difficult. Well obviously not.....

It's a shame that some people aren't educated well enough about depression etc.... Because it definitely puts strain on families etc.

I have thought about sneaking a tablet of my anti depressant into her meals etc every day but doubt this would do much. She would still need to be accompanied with counselling and the meds may throw her off.