Did you get fucked up at fifteen? . . . ( not really a roll call )

at the age of 15 I was doing pot and acid. I was huffin and I think thats it. My brain's memory is so fuct up I cant remember half the shiet I did.
skubie dew
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Puff Puff give! You fuc*in up the rotation!
[This message has been edited by skuby dew (edited 20 July 2000).]
 
Fat Tony -
Hey, I just wanted to post that I know exactly what you're talking about. Your post made a lot of sense to me.
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Feel free to email me about anything, anytime.
finder@(deletethis).chocobo.org
Finder
 
by the age of fifteen i was drinking smoking and tripping..even though i started young i think i handled myself pretty well i always put school as my first priority..
 
Wow, I can really relate with a lot of the things you all are experiencing and feeling.
There comes a point in time where you actually take a minute to do a spot check of yourself (this usually occurs when you're riding a killer buzz). You try really fucking hard to figure everything out (what have you done, what are you doing, what will you do, and WHY). But you keep hearing this voice in the background, it's that Pink Floyd voice yelling, "Welcome to the machine!" over and over again.
This is when you come to the realization that you don't have a whole lot of control over the mystical questions, "where, when, why?" There is some other ultimate reality behind all of it, glimpses of it I can obtain, but an understanding of it I will never.
extahsee
 
Started drinking a lot at about 12 - started lighter gas about 13 - started grass & shrooms at 15 - started NO2 and LSD and speed about 16 - started E and coke about 18 - *tried* H at later date.
Think that's about it.
The only thing I regret is doing too much drinking my whole life - for most of us this is the most harmful drug (and the one that's got me in the most trouble with the law etc)
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{DBM}DoubleDove -You know it!-
 
I've moved this from the Chill Out Room, which will soon be extinct. Everyone wave g'bye to it now! *waves*
~*~ Ashke ~*~
 
Being 15 myself, I decided to reply
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. Drugs......hmmm. This is a very difficult topic in my opinion, because people are so different from each other. To better explain myself-- Everyone is different, the way we feel, think, see things, have opinions, ect. So with everything else people are going to be different with drugs. Although I am only 15, I have seen people twice my age completely lose everything to drugs-but-I have seen people my age lose control also. I will agree with a lot of people that it is a good idea to wait till you are 18 and up to use drugs. I agree with this not really because of responsiblity issues, but of issues with devolpment. As far as I know, most people do not fully devolp until around 18, and sometimes even older than that. On the other hand though with responsibilty issues, I think it depends on soley on the individual. I know some 15 year olds for sure could not handle drugs because their lack of caring for themselves or what they do. I know some 15 year olds who could not handle drugs because of thier addictive personality and other thigns also. This also applys to older people I know of, not just personally but of course celebrities and such. I think it all depends on the person. Some people do drugs for the wrong reasons. Yes, I have tried things, yes I will probably continue to experiment for I am a curious person. I feel that I do them responsibly, if there really is such a thing and not to escape from things in my life. That is one of the worst reasons to do a drug in my opinion. There would be no point, yeah your having a shitty time in your life and things are getting hard to deal with. Drugs aren't going to help this, the problems and discomforts of life will be there just as you left them before you got messed up. Only, now depending on what you took the problem probably seems worse because after many drugs their is a comedown and is usually not a real pleasant thing so it can make things seem worse than they are. I have used drugs to not conceal myself from unpleasnat things in my life, but to experience and realize the GOOD THINGS in life. A lot of people seem to focus on the bad things more then the good. I don't drink, I don't smoke weed barely ever at all. No cigarettes...I have rolled two times, last time I rolled was 3 months ago, and if I do decide to do it again it probably will not be for another 3 months. I strongly believe in moderation and education. I think no matter what your age you should use moderation and be educated on what you do. I have tried other drugs also. Moderation I think is extremely important. It saddens me to hear people talking about losing the magic of E due to long term use, or too much use. So that is one reason for moderation....without moderation you will most likely build up a tolerance. Also doing things in moderation makes you appreciate them more. I am for the most part a very happy person, and can have fubn without being messed up-I don't need drugs, just sometimes it is fun to experience different things in life. I may be only 15, but I think I can handle experiencing drugs. I have very good grades and intend to keep them that way. I have read everything I can about any drug I can, pre-cautions, I pre-load, post-load, anything I can do to be as safe as possible. Maybe I am wrong for doing drugs, but maybe everyone else is wrong too.
People can flame me if they choose for all of this is completely my opinion on this subject and anyone who wants to differ you are more the welcome. I would love to hear people's opinions on what I had to say. I take opinions as education, you can learn from what other people think and expand your thinking also.
~Loves and Hugs always!~Erin
 
I started smoking weed, drinking and using tobacco at 13.
15-16 were my hardcore acid years, I have a lot of really fond memories from back then.
Anyway I totally agree, if someone is asking about drugs they have already made the decision to do them, and there is nothing your're going to say to change their mind.
I doubt most people who waited untill they were 18 to try drugs waited that long on purpose anyway. More likely, they were scared because they believed all the biased drug information in the media.
 
That took almost an hour to read dammit!

Drugs, drugs, drugs,

Well, let's kick it off..

Through school I was pretty hyper, had a Ritilin prescription at the age of 8, lucky me, (I endearingly call them my 'guinea pig months') which turned me into quite the vegtable in contrast, much to the delight of my teachers. Well, my mother, caring person that she is, observed my total inhibition towards life and took me off the medication post haste. I can honestly say I have very few memories from that time in my life.

As I developed, I had little problems with the intellectual workload and thus curbed my efforts towards wreaking havok. With no adverse Ritilan affects, I was full of questions towards life and attempted my first cigarette at 9. *puke, gag*

I trudged through middle school as a 'floater.' I really had no need for most people, they didn't share my enthusiasm and therefore didn't exist. I found the world of fantasty through that time and had much imagination and energy to work with (not to mention time) so I breezed through life with the happy-go-lucky air of the truly delusional. It wasn't until freshman High School that I realized, "shit, I've just shot up about 6 inches and lost 30 pounds" and girls took an interest, Cha-ching, I was in business. I discovered a world of friends and drugs came with the territory. Funny enough, my years of imaginary solitude had lent me perspectives that were somehow warmly welcomed by people. I surrounded myself with girlfriends, who were easier for me to relate with, and joined football, watching my grades slip to 60-75% averages. Pot came easy for me, it was there, it was free and it was fun. I started at 14 and we were choking down 5'vers of lube during the week. I always had a friend in every crowd, made sure I wasn't popular, just accepted. This carried on through a myriad of thoughts, bonds, girls, classes, life.

My experimentation with alcohol came about at 16, and was added with moderate buddha smoking and made for some interesting occasions. Shrooms were tried at 16 as well, producing an amazing experience last day of school, Grade 11 with some good friends. Life moved on and so did I, keeping fairly clean. Through that time, I was still largely engrossed with fantasy and scheduled myself towards this hobby, venting it through creative writing, poetry and the like and incorporating it with a love for my early taste in electronic music and computers.
I dropped my first xtc tab at the age of 19 and fell in love with how it vividly swept me to the distant castles that I'd been harbouring in my mind from childhood. It was beautfiful and horrible at the same time. Inhibitions fell away like so many dark memories and I could focus on expression, 'infinite expression, my new obsession.' la ti da... ahem. I coasted ever so easily into a gutter since then and I'm not sure why.. Things have changed, friends have changed, and life... well life will always be what you make of it, that I've learned. Still, I quest to this day to broaden my perspective and learn. I'm now 20 and getting back on my feet again.

Drugs have taught me much, allowed me to open myself to infinite possibilites. The most important thing I've learned to this date is that I still have much more to take in; But I can see it now, the landscape perhaps, it's obscure but visible and may such noble quests such as life, lead us to clarification.

Kyk.
[This message has been edited by Kyk (edited 30 October 2000).]
 
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Wow, there are some really moving stories on here...this is awesome.

I kinda wish I *did* get fucked up at fifteen. But I didn't, I was brought up in a strictly Christian household and sent to an all-girls' private school with an obsession for academic excellence. Doubtless to say, I was the perfect Christian daughter who got her straight A's and made Mommy and Daddy oh-so-proud. I had my little rebellions every once in awhile, but never had the guts to think for myself for too long....too stressful, ya know.

At 18 I thought I had life perfectly figured out. I knew everything. I was an active member of my church and I was dating a 26 year old guy who I planned on marrying. I truly shudder now, to think of how narrow my mind was back then, how blind and naive I really was, and how fucked-up my whole outlook on life was without my even realizing it. The girl that I am today has nothing in common with that girl of 2 years ago, it's hard to believe we are even the same person.

Thankfully, my bubble was burst by events in my life beyond my control...which left all my supposed unbreakable beliefs just...well...broken. So I had to start again. I never got to grow up when I should have been growing up, so when everyone else was getting through adolescence and finally finding out who they were...I was just beginning.

Except I didn't have the luxury of progressing naturally and slowly, advancing to the next stage once I had graduated from the last. Nope, I decided to do it all at once. What most people do in years, I made up for in months. And then added a little extra, just for good measure. Left without an identity, I latched onto the first thing I found, which was raving. My new identity: raver girl. E? What's that? Who cares...give me some!! Wow, this is a rave? I love it...I'm gonna go every weekend.

Said I would never do crystal.

Said I would never do coke.

Said I would never get addicted.

Ok I'll try crystal...ok I'll try coke...but only ONCE. (*ahem* Ashke, Pyro...sound familiar?)

Ok I'll do it at parties, but never during the week. Never to get through the day.

Ok I'll do it on weekends and on Mondays...come on, Mondays are hard. And sometimes Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, and...well ya know how it goes.

But I'm not an *addict*. Addicts shoot up heroin and smoke crack...right? If it feels this good, it can't be bad...right?

I can't remember when I started to hate myself. Probably all my life, it was just now that I allowed myself to realize it. I had the unfortunate advantage of being old enough to know what I was doing...I wasn't some naive fucked-up 15 year old who thought she knew everything...I wished I was...I wished I didn't have to watch myself fucking up, falling deeper and deeper into this hole. And still, I kept doing it. Because I just didn't care.

Flux: I don't know what to say, your story really moved me, it makes so much sense to me. Really, it becomes an obsession, the whole hating yourself thing. It's a game you play with yourself, see how far you can fall, how-much-you-can-take-before-you-break kinda thing. I lost so much weight that you could count my ribs, except that was a good thing, because food was evil and made you fat and ugly. Even now, every time I eat, I feel like I'm going to puke, I feel so guilty.

I feel like I'm still growing up, still finding myself. But I'm trying to be done with hating myself, trying to pick myself up again and stop the fall. This story isn't years old, it's months old. And it's all a little too recent for me to tell with perfect accuracy. I admit to everything, and I admit to nothing. Hopefully I'm learning something useful that I can one day share with someone else.

Maybe. We'll see.

All because I wasn't fucked-up at 15.
~kimmy.
[This message has been edited by *SWeeT-e* (edited 30 October 2000).]
 
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Let me just start by saying this thread is Awesome and it's staying here.

I didn't get fucked up at 15. Raised in an ultra conservative family I was brought up in a penticostal church and my life revolved around swimming and God. I started when I was four and did it for the next 19 years. Swimming was my drug. I grew up in a city with few Asian kids and I was a novelty in class. Always the only one. So I found a sort of peace in the water (still do). That I couldn't find anywhere else. I got really into it during high school. I became addicted to that peace because I just didn't fit into any crowd in HS. I wasn't cool or tall, the girls didn't find me cute, I was just there. So I got lost in the pool because it was where my insecurities did not exsist. It became my escape. I swam before school and after. Had the "drugs are bad" mentallity because "I wouldn't get better if did drugs". Drank a couple of times, didn't like it. I just got red faced and went to sleep.

So sheltered, even in college. Didn't even do pot till I was a junior. I liked it, but never addicted to it. Then that summer I rolled for the first time. It set me free. I can't really express the thoughts that ran through my mind. It's like the blindfold was finally taken off and I could see. I saw the beauty in the world and in people. I gained such a love for life and the experiences we have. I can't believe that I held myself back for so long. I take my drug use for what it is for, it opens doors of perception for me. I know that it can't last forever and there is a debt that you have to pay for that high.

Sometimes I wish I did get fucked up at fifteen. But I'm glad in those years I learned the self discipline to moderate my drug use.
You can be addicted to anything. Anything can hold you down, ruin your life (ie drugs, sports, food, sex, the net). A damn sport held me back for 19 years! Not drugs, just an activity. Thank God I have learned to deal with the insecurites that held me back. The goal is finding a balance, it's been two years since i first did E and I don't regret anything I've done.

Remember balance and moderation is the key. I hope I've found it.
 
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I am 15 years old, and I have drank, done E, done DXM and Percs.
It all started when I was 13, going into 8th grade. My long-time friend/next door neighbor, who had lived next to me my whole life, asked if I wanted to go to a party with her. She was 16 at the time.

She picked me up in the car, her friend was driving. She said to me, "I'm rollin!" I had no idea was "rollin" was then. I asked her, and she told me. Back then, ecstasy was bad. I had no idea what it was.

I got to the party, a keg party. Held at the Pipeline, a party spot around here. There were 4 kegs... 4! That was a big thing for going into 8th grade.

That night was the first time I had really tasted alcohol, outside of drinking wine on New Years, or occasionally sipping your dad's beer.

I drank a total of 7 beers. I couldn't walk, but I liked it like that. I liked the way I could say whatever I wanted without holding back. I had always been the good little girl, who got good grades, but now... things changed.

Over that summer, every weekend I went to partys. Every weekend I got drunk. I always told myself I would never ever do drugs. That I would only drink. I didn't drink beer anymore though, no, that was too slow. I drank vodka, or rum.
That summer I grew farther and farther away from my friends. They didn't talk to me anymore, not because they knew about my habits though, because they didn't. I didn't think they would ever find out.

Well, that summer came to and end, as summers tend to come to ends. And I was in a new school year, as confused as ever, to whom my friends were. The girl, who I partied with, her family moved to the other side of town, and I barely ever saw her anymore. I didn't drink at all in the beginning of 8th grade. I started listening to punk music and hanging around with true friends, ones who didn't like me for my clothes, or for what music I listened to.

In January I started drinking again. I was planning to go on a snowboarding trip with some friends, and we were all going to bring some stuff. I got 2 16 oz bottles of Vodka, from my parents alcohol. I couldn't wait. I drank 1/2 the bottle one day, walking downtown. Straight. No chaser, it didn't taste so bad to me anymore.

After this I started turning to alcohol again. I was still against drugs. I drank almost every weekend, up until school ended. Someone tipped off my mom as to what I was doing, and I was caught. She knew everything. After that I told myself; NO MORE DRINKING!

One day I was hanging out with some friends, and I got offered something they call "Ecstasy". I remembered this word, from the summer before. I didn't know what it was. I refused the ecstasy, but I got stuck holding my friends purse, containing a pill. I talked about doing it to a friend, just to try it, just once. I was 14 when I first tried ecstasy. I did 1/2 of a chinese star. I did it out on Rocky Neck, a quiet part of town, looking out on the ocean. It was the most beautiful expirience of my life.

The next day, my friend and I wanted to do it again. We bought 1 each this time. We had no idea what ecstasy even was. We thought it was a mixture of all different drugs. We were so stupid. After this we craved it. Noone seemed to have it. We finally got our hands on purple peace signs... they were amazing. We went about a month again, without seeing anything, and then we started getting edjucated on what we were doing. That is when we started coming to bluelight. We then got our hands on some XXX's. MDA, we had no clue.

For about a month after the XXX's we didn't get any. We decided... Let's try robotrippin. It didn't work out too well, I almost threw up. Never do DXM, its gross.

After this and getting 2 bunk pills, we hit the XTC goldenage for this town. We rolled every weekend for 5 weeks straight. On two occasions on weekdays. Once on a Sunday. Then we rolled some more. I lost count.

That brings me to the present day. On Tuesday I did some white smurfs. I always roll with my boyfriend, my original roller-buddy. I have rolled with him everytime. I had started drinking again, but not uncontrollably.

But today. Today I met my demise. My friend comes over to get me to walk to school. After all I can only walk, I am only 15.
"Want some Percs?"

Sure, I didn't care. I didn't know what they did. He told me that they would keep me awake through school, little did I know they would do the exact opposite. I took 1 and 1/2. I had eaten nothing.

I make it through my first class without feeling anything. I go to my second class where we are watching a movie. I feel kind of zoned out.

This is when I lost 45 seconds of my life.

I woke up on the ground, a classmate holding my head up. My parents are called, they think I am just tired and dehydrated. My mom brings me to the hospital where I am scared shit to get a drug test. I get a drug test, and it shows up positive, for only the percs. And here I am, right now, in front of the PC. I don't know what is going to happen to me. I don't know what my parents will say. I am waiting for my dad to get home.

This is my advice to anyone out there, younger than me, thinking about trying drugs.

Dont do it. It might be fun, but it's not worth wasteing your childhood. I have already ruined mine, and I can't stop now, but don't make the mistake I did. Please.
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But in the long run these drugs are gonna prolly catch up sooner or later, but fuck it Im on one, so let's enjoy let the X destroy your spinal cord so it's not a straight line no more...
 
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I didn't pick up my first joint till I was 17. Didn't take my first acid or whippet hits till I was 18. I didn't take my first roll till a while ago. I'm 19 now, I can really say I've never done anything without doing it responsibly. I always am cautious and careful about how I'm gonna get fucked up, so the Pigs don't bust my ass and put me in lockdown. I did mad research on E before I took it for the 1st time. I was intro'd to Bluelight just after my first roll and registered here after my 2nd.
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I can say that I love this community of people, because it shows me that there are a lot of responsible people here who take their drugs of choice carefully and responsibly, ensuring a safe and fun time for themselves. I'll thank Rolling_On_Doves for introducing me here. I gotta thank all of you peeps who replied to my posts, as it is great communicating w/ you all.
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I gotta thank E for putting a new spin on my life. I had such a hard, happy, spiritual roll on my 2nd time. It all carried over into my sober world. It put a highly positive light in a world that used to be dim to me. It gave me hope in many things.
So this is pre-empted giving of thanks to all of you guys. Take care of each other always, have a happy thanksgiving, and enjoy your experiences!
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At 13 I tried mj for the first time We got a joint from a my friend's boyf and smoked it behind our mall's parking lot one afternoon...didnt get high (or didnt get high liek i know high to be now) but i felt good and couldnt wait to smoke more...by 14 I was smoking pot every weekend and this can mostly be attributed to my older brother who would smoke with me although not by any means am i blaming him...we aer the product of a long line of addicts and knew we had to be careful but it was just so fun...

Then came the alcohol and by tenth grade i had stopped smoking pot and was drinking to get drunk every weekend, my parents didnt have a clue...oh and the nitrous afterschool in my bro's room yeah that was fun for awhile...

went back to my true love mj nearing the end of my junior year and had stopped drinking so crazy and it wanst really the substances that were the problem it was what i was doing whiel i was fucked up (which is, actually now thati think about, usually the problem
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) i had never been really secure with myself (hahahahaha) and I took the drunk nights as the oppurtunity to throw myself at guys and get what i thought i was looking for and wasnt able to get while sober...thankfully i realized that this was no way to coast through life so I stopped drinking so much, but i already said that didnt i?

So by senior year i was drinking only socially and not getting smashed so oftne but i do have a few memories of doing some stupid shit...and i was happy school was good friends were great and i had a boyf but i was still smoking every day...

Then came college...and drinking was back with a vengence but i made sure i wasnt in an environment where i could fuck myself over and it was a pretty lame time, I wasnt smoking pot except on a few occasions and i was miserable but a lot of that had to do with being a freshman so i cant really make a connection...by second semester i was smoking with much more frequency and happy again (?)

Then came the E...god did i love that, it was the first drug i had tried that hooked me on the first try and i guess thats why they call it Ecstasy...but this was the first drug i did in moderation (except for the first weekend) and it stayed great for a long time and is still great although it has lost a bit of its magic...

Then sophmore year rolls around and I decide its time to get experimental K, acid, shrooms, coke all of it and its only november...still a daily smoker and i still love gettign high it hasnt lost any of its appeal althought the high is different now and maybe i smoke purely out of habit now but im doing it anyway...
Ok so this turned into a autobiography but forgive me, i was talking about a similar topic to a friend recently and realized that mj was the only drug i had never had a taboo against (alcohol had major taboos for me seeing how it had practically destroyed my father) ("its only weed") and now look at me...no moderation or thought of slowing down but all the other drugs i research relentlessly before and after trying and am very careful with and take all the possible harm reduction precautions i can...i dont knwo what that says exactly but maybe one of you has insight if you even got this far through my post...

ok so im done rambling and Ashke, what a beautiful post and I think that giving 15 year olds info they are askig for is the only thing you can do and its admirable in my mind and i big thank you for all of your posts it has made me think a lot...
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"like infinity where so much is going on at every second that there is no possibility for your mind to wander and you become like this prisoner of like-happiness" Rayanne, MSCL
 
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In this post I don't have anything profound to say, I just wanted to thank everyone for everything they're said in this thread, for giving away these very sensitive parts of themselves. It has made me think a lot about things in general and particularly myself. This thread is beautiful. That is the only way to describe it, it has beauty.
 
I first started smoking weed with my cousin when I was 12 out on his Deck. He had taken a bunch of weed from his dad ( ithink we later found out it was about a half) and we smoked it all that night and we both got sick. That next weekend he took some more (i dont know how they didnt notice) and it kept going on like that for about a month, and then we started buying our own shit, just scraping up what money we could, until we found his dads speed in his closet. That night was the most fucked up night of my life, I think i was 13 at the time, and i only weighed like 90 pounds, and i took 4 pills, i think they were about 200 mg each, and I was tripped and tweaked the fuck out and I started to cry cuz I thought his cat was gonna eat me! I was like that for about a day, then it just went away. I did it only like twice after that, but he got real bad into all kinds of drugs. By the time he was 15, he was almost addicted to crank and meth, but now after 6 years, he finally got himself clean of everything. I never did any of that other stuff, probably because ive been too fucing stoned to think about anything else, but lately Ive wanted to try coke and X, but Im not sure if I should. Any Ideas?
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Dreams are made winding,
Through My head...
 
Well now that I think about it, I was sober when i was 15, but 14 amd 16 are completly different stories.
(When i feel like reading everyone elses thoughts I'll reply again to this and add some more thought to it.)
 
E is not as Sweet as You --> How did things work out? I'm curious to know if everything's okay now. Let us know.
~*~ Ashke ~*~
 
This thread seems to have come and gone several times, and I'm glad it's made it's way around. I just worked 14 hours, and was only going to check out bl for a second (!) when i got stuck reading all of this, and it is truly a beatiful thread (thanks Ashke). Don't know why, but i just feel the need to add to it. It's cleansing almost, to realize the stuff I've seen and done in my life can help someone else - I have a lot of nieces and nephews now who look to me for advice and guidance.

When i was four years old my brother (14 at the time) would give me 25 cents for every joint that i rolled for him and his friends. I didn't know what a contact buzz was!!! I was four, i thought that's how you were supposed to feel. When my mom gave me my first beer (the little 6 oz. cans) at 5, i thought that was normal. A few months later i would drink four or five of these little beers every sunday. Sometimes on Saturday, an occasional Tuesday even. It was easy, my neighbor drove a beer truck that was never locked. At 10 my sister's boyfriend gave me my first shot of jack daniel's - that remained my favorite liquor for a long time.

By the time I was fifteen, I was an alcoholic. The worst thing is that I knew it, and the thought really didn't bother me. I had friends that I knew would get me home safely, and it wasn't about being so drunk that I was sick, it was just about staying drunk all day, every day. I found comfort in the fact that my day was always pre-planned. Then something happened to me - I found the game of tennis. Like Crow, i substituted a sport for substances. I don't remember not being around mj at any point in my life, but i had been a regular smoker by this time, and gave it up, along with alcohol, for being in the gym 2 hours and day and on a court with a racket 3-4 hours a day (every day, all eight in the week).

In college I gave up tennis, but i will never regret the time i spent with it, because i don't think that i would have stopped drinking without it - and the love of a boy that i didn't deserve. I became a regular smoker again, and through periods of over-use, i still am (although in great moderation today). Never tried any other drug until whippits, pills, and acid all at the age of 21, in the same weekend. Not a good introduction - i will never do acid again because of that weekend. G had been a favorite for a while after that, but i found out too much about it and gave it up. Just tried E a few months ago, I'm 23 now, and like so many other people, I fell in love with it. I had researched and debated with myself for months. With only three rolls behind me, even if I never do it again (although I probably will at some point) the things that I've learned about myself from it were worth it. I really get what I see from a lot of you, e actually cut down a lot of my other drug use. I didn't substitute anything for it, I just spend a lot more time trying to enjoy my life. I will always have my best friend (she's really so much more than that - my mentor in some ways, my rock when i need support, you get the picture) to thank for showing me that partying isn't about getting messed up, it's about experiences. Rolling with her has made me remember a lot, mostly that joy that I had flashes of as a child - you know it, spinning in circles till you're dizzy, laughing just because it felt good, knowing no boundaries beyond your own imagination. Made me see how much more important that child becomes as you get older.
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Don't try to be such a perfect girl, darling. Do the best you can without too much anxiety or strain.
[This message has been edited by Dagny (edited 31 December 2000).]
 
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