• Find All Reports by Search Term
    Find Reports
    Find Tagged Reports by Substance
    Substance Category
    Specific Substance
    Find Reports
  • Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth

Salvia—2nd time—walking on the edge of the world

Trillian

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 3, 2002
Messages
237
I'm fairly new to Bluelight, and this is my first Trip report, so apologies if i've failed to meet some criteria.
(also, my apologies for the length of this report, read on only if you have some time to kill)
----
I set out on this particular trip about 6 hours after my first experience, where I smoked around a third of what I took in this one. That had been a wonderfully soft and pleasant ride, taken in the late afternoon sunshine in my back garden with 4 close friends. The first 5-10 minutes or so had been intense, but enjoyably so, and quickly proceeded to a sense of uncomplicated euphoria at the discovery of living things around my garden, a heightened sense of touch, taste, and most noticeably smell. I spent most of the rest of the hour or so before I returned fully to baseline wandering round the garden holding handfuls of crushed herbs like coriander and mint up to my nose, inhaling deeply, and smiling. There were also apparently some rather humorous incidents involving the throwing around of rose petals, which I won’t go into here.
So needless to say, my general mindset 6 hours or so after that experience was remarkably serene and relaxed. We had spent the time in between shopping and making dinner, and generally lolling around drinking tea and getting the most out of a Sunday evening.
We had just finished watching an episode of buffy, at around 10:00pm and were about to embark upon another surrealist episode in the cheesy TV marathon spirit, when I decided to dose again. My previous experience had led me to believe that watching something mildly surreal would be quite pleasant under the influence of Salvia. I guess I was largely focusing on the mildly confused and easily bewildered euphoric feeling that came after the initial intensity of the trip had worn off the first time. I kind of forgot about the onset.
So, in the spirit of adventure and my own stupidity, I asked my good friend J to tip me out a much larger amount than previously experienced into the cone piece of a water bong, filling it level with 5x concentrate salvia, possibly a little over. Unfortunately I can’t be very specific with my dosage. I know and probably should have known at the time the folly of this approach, as I am usually extremely careful to know my dosage levels to .01 of a gram of any drugs I take. I would attribute my approach to underestimating the drug due to having such a mild and pleasant experience earlier on. For a rough idea, the cone was a little overfilled, and was a standard size, about the diameter of an Australian 10 cent coin.
I was sitting on a folded down couch, in our general living/lounge/place to dump temporary homeless friends/everything area, with good friends J, L and R in attendance. I leant forward and pulled the entire cone over the course of around ~ 15 seconds. By the end of that time, I was already in a place I had never before been with my drug use.
My history with psychotropic/hallucinatory drugs is pretty brief. I have experienced LSD, MDA and MDMA at high enough doses to induce hallucination, (OEV and CEV), LSD/MDMA combination and THC/CBD/CNB at doses high enough to produce disorientating extended hallucinations and mental confusion (mmm, mull cookies) and I guess the only other in any way relevant drug is N2O . I only include it because the intensity and speed of it’s onset can be likened to salvia, but please note IMHO it is entirely dissimilar in effects.
But anyway, back to the couch. I felt the Bong fall from my hand, (which I later found out was thankfully caught by J) and felt myself fall back into the cushion. That was where any association with ‘I’ ended. I no longer inhabited my own body, and had no control over its actions. I willed the blanket to wrap itself around me, and it did. I covered my face with it, because it felt raw and exposed, even though it was not ‘mine’. Then suddenly, it felt like my whole body would ‘jump’ and the blanket was gone, leaving me exposed. It would then jump back and cover me again, giving me a few moments of relief, until it disappeared again. I felt a prickling all over, like pins and needles, but pushing out from the inside, as opposed to the pins pushing down on the exterior of the skin. I regained my body with this sensory feeling. I stood up, overwhelmed by a sense of irrational fear and self-consciousness. I was not afraid of my friends, but felt the strongest urge to get out of the room so as not to worry them. I must have felt that the internal turmoil I was experiencing was visible to them. (which of course, it entirely wasn’t)
I made it about 2 steps, and fell into another chair in close proximity, and remember nothing of what I later found out to be about 1 minute of sitting there. All I have when I try to recall that period of the trip is a deeply profound sense of fear. Nothing solid, just the emotion. Apparently I just sat there, with my eyes roaming over the room, and starting occasionally or jerking slightly.
I then stood up, walked down the hall which seemed cavernous and lit by red lights to my bed, wrapped a sarong around myself, lay down and closed my eyes. Instantly the world transformed and calmed. The CEVs I had were incredible. I was standing on a desolate cliff that felt oddly familiar, a sense of deija-vu as if I’d been there before in a dream. There was a strong wind blowing, pushing me forward and over the precipice. I looked down over the edge, and started to fall.
You know that feeling when you’re about to drift into sleep, when your feet suddenly ‘twitch’ and you feel as though you’re falling, and suddenly you’re fully conscious again? Just before I plummeted over the edge, something akin to that happened to my whole body, and I opened my eyes to the room, and a slowly ebbing sense of fear, that was co-existent with a feeling of exhilaration. After around 2 or 3 minutes, this slowly gave way to a buzz of euphoria, similar to what I had experienced in the last trip. I thought to myself something along the lines of: “so that’s what the euphoria’s about, it’s adrenaline that’s been released and you’re experiencing it because you survived a near death experience."
I won’t try to describe what I saw when I looked over the edge, because firstly it was more of a feeling than an actual visual thing, and secondly, how do you describe chaos? Language cannot quite articulate what I experienced in that split second. Sorry.
I sat down and discussed the trip with friend L after fully calming myself down by listening to some music on headphones for about 15 minutes before trying to communicate with anyone. I decided that while the experience had been permeated by a feeling of fear most of the time, it was still an extremely valuable and positive one. I believe the reason I didn’t totally fall was because when standing on the edge of the cliff, and indeed throughout the entire experience, I had been trying to fight my way back to my ordinary subjective reality. I think my mind constructed the cliff to give me a very clear metaphorical illustration of the choice I had to make, to let go entirely, or try to claw my way back to the world. And I chose the world. Perhaps in a earlier time of my life, I would have taken the plunge, but I value my ability to access consensus reality too highly right now. At the time, the decision seemed as if it would be a permanent one, and I thought I would never be able to return from chaos.
The extreme end of the experience lasted around 15-20 minutes, and I felt like I was solidly on baseline about 45 after the initial administration. (except for a mild afterglow of euphoria that lasted a couple of hours).
At a higher dose, Salvia seems to be a very different drug than when it is experienced at a more mild level. In the place I went to, Salvia is a drug of extremes. I could not choose to stay on any cosy middle ground.
 
i loved this report. sure, i usually love salvia related reports, but reading this one gave me chills when you described the initial onset, as well as the part about standing on the cliff, deciding to not go to chaos.
i have experienced some of the same things, but i could never put my trip reports to words as you did. your trip seems so similer to my most recent one, at about the same dose as you, i believe.
again, good report!
 
Beautiful. Excellent. Amazing.
I loved reading this trip report, keep up the good work Trillian. Maximum respect to you, good luck in future chemical endevours.
 
Wherd to the trip reort!!
I enjoyed reading it.
:)
 
I was not afraid of my friends, but felt the strongest urge to get out of the room so as not to worry them. I must have felt that the internal turmoil I was experiencing was visible to them. (which of course, it entirely wasn’t)
Exactly!!!!!
My friend, you have solved a very big problem for me with your statement!!!
I had this terrible fealing of fear, and I wanted to run... but not for my own sake. I was trying to protect something, but I couldn't point it out!!!
Now I know exactly why I tried to run!
Wow! My friends all looked at me in horror, as I fell to the floor and moved and mumbled at children in another time. I was also in my own time with the people around me. I thought that they could see what was happening to me, and I thought it may be scaring them more than I, so I tried to run.
I could never define that monet before then, but now I can. :D
Thanks!
 
Top