1st time on "E" and the benefits!
Substances: E (Armani) / Weed
First Time
Loving Life
Time of drop: About 9.30
Dosage: 1 "E" and about an eighth of weed.
Set: Happy, but deep inside I think I was pissed off!
Setting: Friends house. One person present when I took the pill. One more joined us about half and hour of being up (about 10.30) and two more people at around 11.00.
Effects: Tingle feeling in legs and arms, like pins and needles. Then a sense of happyness, followed by a state of, well you could tell anyine anything!
I did it with (who I would call) my best-friend. Later his brother (who I get on with greatly) came when I was up. Later joined by two other friends, who I consider to be great friends too.
The trip was amazing. While my friends have been doing it for nearly a year, I never felt the urge to do it, even though I have had a bean in my hand before. But I felt this was the right time (I know have done quiet a few).
I really learn't a lot about myself. And about friendship, relationships and my child-hood. I had just split up with a girl and I felt down. i think I convinced myself that I wasn't taking the pill because of her, but I think it contributed. So prehaps I did it for the wrong reasons at first.
But I realised that even though I liked her a lot, I had other feamle friends who I could speak to, other male friends (who when not even pilled) I can speak to. Soemtimes I feel like shit and I feel there is nobody I can turn too. Which people may find weird, because I have a great social life and am out like five nights a week.
I always used to mess up relationships with females to on purpose I think. So they couldn't get close. Hence the break down of my old girlfriend. I would say I can get better than you, go die of AIDS and shit like that, but for know reason i could ever think of. But while on E, me and my friend discussed why (we both do it) do it. It was insecurity, but mainly I have always found it hard to trust people. I now open up a lot more, feel I can tell my friends about what is going on in my head (well a selected few.)
I was always the funny guy at school who people looked to for laughs. And along with that came, I don't give a fuck attitude. Not to just life, but o relationships. The moment I got in one my friends (not the pill-head ones as I call them) used to say, well it's about time for a new one and in reality I would just to keep my perception of being a boy who didn't give a fuck.
To me "E" is like the internet. You can say anything you want without feeling like being a prick. But you can say it to your friends, which helps in the relationship with them.
I use to cut my arms up (as well as my friend did) we spoke about this, and I showed him my scars (the first person i ever id except my old girlfriend) and newly cut scabs and we had a huge conversation about this. It helped a lot. And at the moment I haven't done it since then, but do occasionaly feel like I want to.
I use to wish I could have done it with my ex-girlfriend soi could have said how much she mean't to me. But now I am over her and know how to tell people how I feel without E.
Anyway thats about it.
Peace, Del.
[ 20 October 2002: Message edited by: Del ]
Substances: E (Armani) / Weed
First Time
Loving Life
Time of drop: About 9.30
Dosage: 1 "E" and about an eighth of weed.
Set: Happy, but deep inside I think I was pissed off!
Setting: Friends house. One person present when I took the pill. One more joined us about half and hour of being up (about 10.30) and two more people at around 11.00.
Effects: Tingle feeling in legs and arms, like pins and needles. Then a sense of happyness, followed by a state of, well you could tell anyine anything!
I did it with (who I would call) my best-friend. Later his brother (who I get on with greatly) came when I was up. Later joined by two other friends, who I consider to be great friends too.
The trip was amazing. While my friends have been doing it for nearly a year, I never felt the urge to do it, even though I have had a bean in my hand before. But I felt this was the right time (I know have done quiet a few).
I really learn't a lot about myself. And about friendship, relationships and my child-hood. I had just split up with a girl and I felt down. i think I convinced myself that I wasn't taking the pill because of her, but I think it contributed. So prehaps I did it for the wrong reasons at first.
But I realised that even though I liked her a lot, I had other feamle friends who I could speak to, other male friends (who when not even pilled) I can speak to. Soemtimes I feel like shit and I feel there is nobody I can turn too. Which people may find weird, because I have a great social life and am out like five nights a week.
I always used to mess up relationships with females to on purpose I think. So they couldn't get close. Hence the break down of my old girlfriend. I would say I can get better than you, go die of AIDS and shit like that, but for know reason i could ever think of. But while on E, me and my friend discussed why (we both do it) do it. It was insecurity, but mainly I have always found it hard to trust people. I now open up a lot more, feel I can tell my friends about what is going on in my head (well a selected few.)
I was always the funny guy at school who people looked to for laughs. And along with that came, I don't give a fuck attitude. Not to just life, but o relationships. The moment I got in one my friends (not the pill-head ones as I call them) used to say, well it's about time for a new one and in reality I would just to keep my perception of being a boy who didn't give a fuck.
To me "E" is like the internet. You can say anything you want without feeling like being a prick. But you can say it to your friends, which helps in the relationship with them.
I use to cut my arms up (as well as my friend did) we spoke about this, and I showed him my scars (the first person i ever id except my old girlfriend) and newly cut scabs and we had a huge conversation about this. It helped a lot. And at the moment I haven't done it since then, but do occasionaly feel like I want to.
I use to wish I could have done it with my ex-girlfriend soi could have said how much she mean't to me. But now I am over her and know how to tell people how I feel without E.
Anyway thats about it.
Peace, Del.
[ 20 October 2002: Message edited by: Del ]
