I'm not going to defend your ex rNr as what he did was obviously wrong. Unfortunately, people really do these things a lot. I think the problem is that, the majority of people are completely inept and cowardly when it comes to talking about important / intimate issues, especially when they're emotional, whether it's telling a friend / colleague you've fancied for ages that you're in love with them, or whether it's breaking up with someone, or even just saying you're sorry.
I don't know why this guy didn't want to be with you anymore and felt the need to find someone else. I don't know enough about either of you to speculate about that or to blame some sort of character flaw either of you might have. What I do think probably happened is that he WANTED to break up with you but didn't dare to. Maybe because he knew about your traumatic past and your vulnerabilities and possible fear of abandonment. Maybe he was afraid you'd take it really badly, flip out, or start crying or make a scene and he didn't know how to / didn't want to deal with that. Which makes him a selfish coward. Or maybe he just didn't want to hurt you because he still cared about you, not realising that what he did hurt you far more than honesty ever could. Which makes him a stupid coward.
It's easy for us to say you shouldn't let it affect you so much, that it's only a man, that you should get over it and move on, but I understand that it's not always that easy for everybody. And these kind of encouragements might sound overly critical, patronising and even insulting to you, but no one here wishes you any harm. I'm pretty sure everybody is just trying to help you and encourage you to get better, and of course we may well go about that in the wrong way but it's all with the best intentions.
I see the point you made about schizophrenia. It is true that there are several psychiatric disorders which are (for now) deemed incurable. Many people will go through a severe depressive episode (which can last long, hellish years) in their lives, and the majority of them get better, with or without the help of medication and /or therapy, and they will not get depressed again. Unfortunately, some people get recurring depression all their life. Some people are schizophrenic, or bipolar (like myself), or have another mental condition they may well be stuck with for the rest of their lives. BUT the fact that you HAVE a lifelong psychiatric condition does NOT mean you hafe to SUFFER from it for the rest of your life. I have only recently started to discover this myself, after 10 rollercoaster years up and down, in and out of mental hospitals. I know several schizophrenic people who have been very ill, at times completely detached from reality, and now lead normal lives. Their schizophrenia did not get cured, but they managed to not let it stop them anymore from moving on. It IS possible, be it with or without medication, and you have to believe in that and in yourself.
I cannot tell you how to cope with the crises you will encounter in your life, but I can tell you that you CAN learn it, even with your condition. You are taking positive steps already for example by talking to therapists. There are several types of psychotherapy that could be helpful for you. CBT can teach you practical ways of changing the way you react in certain situations for example. I'm also glad to hear you do volunteer work, which can be really rewarding as well. I would advise against staying in a psychiatric ward for too long (I take it you're a voluntary patient?), it can be a necessary safety net in a time of crisis, but extended stays can have the danger of institutionalisation, and make it even harder to adapt to real life again, and be in control of your own life. And if psychiatric hospitals where you live are anything like the ones over here, it must be pretty grim in there...
Best of luck,
Alice -x-
