Depression & Tolerance
Hello All,
This is my first post in this site and first post ever in any kind of thread or website. Thank you in advance to anyone that takes the time to read this and offer their advice.
I am a 24 year old female and I am in my sixth year of college for my bachelors degree. It's taken me six hard years to finally get my shit together enough to be in my final semester of college. I am expected to graduate in December if I can get a handle on my life enough to finish my current classes. I was prescribed adderall 40mg XR by my family doctor after asking for it because everyone on campus was taking it to focus on school work and I wanted to try it but was to afraid to buy drugs. In high school I made great grades and graduated at the top of my class. When I started college I completely lost all drive and focus. Maybe it was the freedom I all of a sudden had. I didn't have to go to class like I did in high school so I didn't. I lost my scholarships then transferred schools closer back to home. I eventually failed out and had to go to the community college. I finally got my associates degree and then went back to the University to finish my bachelors.
When my doctor prescribed me the adderall it was like everything made sense. It was clear I was struggling with ADHD. I started focusing harder. Things I was learning in class was starting to be so much clearer and I was actually learning the course information and remembering it all. Remembering and retaining the information has always been an issue I've struggled with making test and exams an unpleasant experience. Adderall had solved my problems. I was taking the medicine on school days that I needed to focus. Sometimes every other day and sometimes once a week. (I need to add, adderall made me grind my teeth like a meth addict and made me very feel very embarrassed.)
After a year and a half of taking the Adderall I grew tolerant to it and it wasn't working anymore. I started falling behind again in school and failed more classes. One day a fellow ADHD friend and college student told me about vyvanse and offered to let me try one of hers to see if it helped. She had also been prescribed adderall then made the switch to vyvanse. I tried one of hers and it was amazing! I was more focused and motivated than adderall had ever made me feel! I talked with my doctor and we made the switch to vyvanse 70 Mg. XR. Everything was so much better! My grades were great and I was going to class and was motivated in life as a whole.
This July I took a required organic chemistry summer course so I could graduate this December. I am not book smart and science is my worst subject (I'm a business major). It was everything I could do to get through the course and I barely did. I passed with a grade that was two points above the cut off. But I passed and that's all that matters to me. The class met every day and we had an exam every Friday. We covered 5 chapters each week. I was taking my vyvanse everyday because of the course load. I started noticing a huge tolerance build up by the end of July.
My Fall semester started in August and it's currently November. It's everything I can do to just make myself go to class. Allot of times I don't go. My tolerance has built up to the Vyvanse 70 mg XR. I am extremely unmotivated to do anything at all. It's almost as I'm depressed. I sleep all the time and can't even motivate myself to do housework chores like dishes or laundry. I can't get myself to study or do the online assignments or quizzes for my online class. If I don't pass these last 5 class and get an overall GPA of a 2.0 I won't graduate and will have to retake classes in the spring semester. I want so badly to finally graduate in December and to get a big girl career job I really do, but I don't have the drive to even get out of bed sometimes. My relationship is struggling and my sex drive is nonexistent.
My main focus is to just get through this semester then go from there!
I need suggestions on how to make the vyvanse work again?! Should I ask my doctor for Adderall and vyvanse so I can alternate? I had tried and tried to research this and there is so many people saying so many different things. What is DXM? Will it help? What about chelated magnesium? I know what this is and that some people say it reduces the tolerance build up. But how do you take it? How many Mg and morning or night? I have a two month trial back of namenda (memantine) that a friend that works at a doctors office got for me from the free sample stash. I have read lots of people say this works but no one says how many Mg and what time of day to take it. Please someone give me some advice!
The very last thing I want to do it build up any type of addiction! I am not a drug user whatsoever! I only take birth control and vyvanse. I only take medicine that is prescribed by my doctor and not for recreational purposes! This is one of the reasons I am afraid to tell all of this to my doctor and seek her advice. My town is a very small rural town and prescription pills are a huge problem here. I would say half the population in my town has been or is addicted to prescription pills/street drugs. I don't want her to think I'm just another pill head trying to get more drugs. My parents don't think ADHD is a real thing and that I shouldn't take any medicine at all. I do casually drink with friends but am no where near an alcoholic. I would say I drink maybe once every two weeks if that. I do smoke cigarettes, probably a pack every other day.
Please someone help me or steer me in the right direction to find a solution!
