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  • NSADD Moderators: deficiT | Jen

If you could get rid of one state,which would it be and why?

A Modest Proposal

Economists, politicians and my mom all agree there’s no way our country’s economy can sustain the level of growth it’s enjoyed in recent years. Eventually, and probably soon, the bubble will burst and we will plunge into a recession the likes of which we haven’t seen since the early 1980’s. (Remember parachute pants? It wasn’t pretty.) Luckily, I have a solution to our woes. It’s been staring us all in the face. It’s time to get rid of some dead weight and make a little cash in the meantime. That’s right, it’s time to sell Oregon.

I know what you’re thinking. "Sell Oregon?! There can’t possibly be a downside." Well, you, my naïve friend, are absolutely right. Seriously, don't you have a hard time remembering Oregon is there between California and Washington? So do I. The truth is it just gets in the way. Here are some more reasons it sucks:

1. Is it "Or-e-GON" or "OR-e-gon"? How do you pronounce the bloody place? I spent half my life stressing the first syllable and then found out I was wrong. I felt like a damn idiot. Sell it. That’s right, Oregon, you fucked with me, and now I’m fucking you. How’s it feel?

2. Brenda KirPatrick. I met her on a field trip to Idaho with my baseball team in high School. She was on a team from Oregon. We hit it off and spent the next couple days in constant contact (I touched her boobies) then she dumped me. Guess what -- it’s payback time, Missy. I’m selling your damn state. Say goodbye to your family, your friends and your old house. They belong to China now.

Damn right!

3. The Beaver State. Well, there’s a nickname that inspires pride and patriotism. Seriously, "The Beaver State"? That’s what they decided to go with? Was "Twat Town" taken? Forget the money, we should sell it just to retain a little dignity. This sounds like a nickname given to us by our enemies. Good grief.

4. Quick, what’s the capital of Oregon. Portland, right? Wrong! It’s Salem. How dare they trick us like that? Those deceptive bastards. You and I both know it should be Portland, but they just like fucking with us. Well, I’ve got good news – there’s a Portland in Maine and a Salem in Massachusetts. So, we won’t miss them after we sell their ass to the highest bidder. To hell with you, Oregon. Get your Salem-loving ass out of my country.

5. Their State Bird. Can you believe how stupid their state bird is? I’m not sure what it is, actually, but I’m sure it’s stupid. Sell them! SELL them!


6. Timber. It’s their biggest natural resource and their chief industry. Wow, they have trees. Hmm, let’s think of what other states have trees... Oh yeah, all of them. My point? Oregon is redundant. Redundant. It means extra.

Fifty-four forty or who the fuck cares?
 
What do you mean by get rid? Cause if that means what I think it means, Philly would be on the shore. =D
 
Rhode Island. Nothing but fucking frat boys. I hope God burns it to ash and the fucking sea rises to wash the remains away.
 
Rhode Island does have Providence. And, hands down, the most hilarious corrupt official in recent history. Vince Ciampi? Is that his name?

The hairpieces the guy wears, alone, are worth a year of Saturday Night Live skits.
 
I can't believe some piece of jersey waste wanted to get rid of mass.... I guess if you live in a dump long enough you get used to the smell!
 
citizenuzi said:
I can't believe some piece of jersey waste wanted to get rid of mass.... I guess if you live in a dump long enough you get used to the smell!
Click to expand...

I love my dump. You cant even use that shit as a insult. I guess if you got your nose stuck up some rich folks ass long enough you get used to the smell.
 
^ that, or find their secret stash of sacajawea dollars :)


my question though for those who have suggested a state to get rid of, is what do you propose we do with this newfound free space?

personally, nebraska seems like a good spot to dig up and put in a pool.
 
i'd get rid of arizona. they have a no tolerance drug policy here. your ass goes to jail for just having a fucking joint on ya. nothing but backwards ass red necks, they can't drive worth shit (prolly cause just about erryone here drives drunk or high) =D

with the newly found space, id rally for ethno villages to be set up, big ass vats for cooking whatever, all of the product and material needed on site, and start a big ass ethno chain stores. feck the guvment
 
Hawaii because its the only state that can be compared to Cali... those stuck up bitches... We have 7 sacred pools, we must be sooo cool...
 
kori64 said:
i'd get rid of arizona. they have a no tolerance drug policy here. your ass goes to jail for just having a fucking joint on ya. nothing but backwards ass red necks, they can't drive worth shit (prolly cause just about erryone here drives drunk or high) =D

with the newly found space, id rally for ethno villages to be set up, big ass vats for cooking whatever, all of the product and material needed on site, and start a big ass ethno chain stores. feck the guvment
Click to expand...


Arizona has saguaro cacti... and they kick ass. I didn't know about the drug policy.

Though its kind of like that here, though the police are generally nice and have the good sense not to do that kind of stuff.
 
Bauer095 said:
^ that, or find their secret stash of sacajawea dollars :)


my question though for those who have suggested a state to get rid of, is what do you propose we do with this newfound free space?

personally, nebraska seems like a good spot to dig up and put in a pool.
Click to expand...

i like the state-sized pool idea.
 
North Dakota.....

I had the misfortune of living there for 3 years.....wtf happens there other than cold and....uh...cold....yea fuck that place....get it off the map!

At least South Dakota has mountains and Mt Rushmore....
 
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