if you have a few minutes to spare... (long)

MiNiMoWs

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 29, 2000
Messages
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the setting:
Sitting on the floor in my closet trying to scrape up approximately a half gram of coke into a fold (made from a Revlon Colorsticks ad) for safe keeping until the next time we decide to do it. The following moments will motivate me to wash $40 down the drain and two days later, throw away our bullet containing another quarter gram of coke into an outdoor trash can on my daily lunchtime run. Yes, I went jogging with a bullet of coke in my fist.
Now, on with the story...
In My Closet on 01.21.02
"Fuck this SHIT."
(laughing in realization like when I discovered the truth behind the Catholic religion)
Okay.
So we did it AGAIN this weekend
It’s only been a handful of times
Since 2002 began
Three weeks ago
We hosted the party of the year (so what if it’s only January 21st)
Gave half of Denver
A night to remember
And gave our friend and roommate a goodbye
Wrapped up in the walls of this place
And in the arms and smiling faces
Of best friends and strangers
This place
Where we shared so many fun times
That didn’t leave white flaky messes.
I stop and think about who I am
When I’m on it
When I’m off it
When I’m chopping lines in our kitchen at 8am
To feed our habits
I must look like a rock star
Or a total fool
Or the girl who everyone wants to be sitting next to
And then I think about the girl
Who likes chopping veggies in the morning
For your egg white omelets
To feed our bellies
And look like a nurturer – who I want to be
And have you sit next to me
So that I can feed you the world.
It’s true every new occasion overshadows
The previous bender
But this time
THIS time
THIS TIME...
We’ll let this one be the most spectacular one of all
The one where we attempted to go out in public
Only to be shut out by bowlers with Downs Syndrome
(truth be told, they looked better than we did)
The one where we had to call in Arm & Hammer, Reynolds, and Charmin
And actually had to phone a friend for the correct measurements
To give us one final wave of euphoria
The one where yet another time we could
Exhale in relief and thank heavens
No cops
No fights
No overdoses
No pukers
Although that one corner in the living room did smell like urine.
Let this one be the one that we remember
As the one that was so many things
That we won’t even try to top it.
The one where we wound up again
In our love nest
And tried to order porn
And successfully indulged in it
After a solid 30 minutes
Of technical difficulty
And the sex we swam in shortly thereafter
Was perfectly timed
Even two sober people
Couldn’t have come harder
Couldn’t have felt so alive
But we’ll try our best ;)
And in the minutes following
This monumental frolic
Well, the word precious
Was designed for just that space of time.
And from where I am right now
On this very floor
I can still see you in the doorway
Of my closet
Admiring my body and telling me I’m beautiful
As I change into my Elements shirt
And lowrider Hurley’s
That you bought for me
Your "favorite scrubby outfit of mine"
You ask yourself
How’d you ever get a girl like me?
And the way you looked
When you spoke those things
I sometimes wonder if it’s possible
For you to top the things you say
And more than that…
How was it ever possible
For me to get
A boy like you?
And then a few hours later
You say this other thing
This thing which defines that word
Precious.
It’ll cause me to do unthinkable things
This thing
It’ll even change other things
Which thankfully won’t even happen, now.
It’ll make us the most dazzling people
We know
We will be the cool ones
Who we are
Who enjoy each other
And everyone else
Substance free
This thing you said
It speaks to me
And these words
They dance inside of me
And here’s what you said
(my head plays it over and over and over)
"I’d much rather hang out with my girlfriend –
Sober".
 
Unbelievable...honestly, I haven't read anything this good in a long time.
I know this was just one tiny element of your piece, but it really struck me:
When I’m chopping lines in our kitchen at 8am
To feed our habits
I must look like a rock star
Or a total fool
Or the girl who everyone wants to be sitting next to
And then I think about the girl
Who likes chopping veggies in the morning
One of the things that fascinates me about drugs is this strange, hard to reconcile dichotomy that you've captured so perfectly right here.
Thanks for posting this :)
 
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And to think the other day I was thinking "Where is Mini?"
This is a great piece. You balance everything so well in your writing. Fabulous.
 
That's what I love about your writing-so much heart in it. I saw you as nuturing by the way
You shine together.
Legs straddled around him, or singing 80's songs
Viva la Mini y Steve :)
 
And in the minutes following
This monumental frolic
Well, the word precious
Was designed for just that space of time.
girlie, as always, you just left me in awe.
I fell, once again, into what was becoming a very familiar k-hole,
And at the same time, there he was falling,
Falling for a girl who could never conceive of loving him back
I used to pride myself on being this sophisticated school-girl,
Who hit the books by day and danced with lines of white at night...
We all know how that goes,
The glass tables smudged with powder,
The razors gleaming on a plate nearby
Half a straw cut to a more manageable size
It all sat there like this vivid reminder,
Of the drug-crazed anti-princess she was at night,
And there you continue to sit,
Gazing at me from your tunnel-vision world
Thinking i'm just about the most beautiful creature you've ever seen,
But tomorrow, i'll be just another memory you scraped off a plate,
Inhaled,
And drifted off to make sweet love to
in some fantasyland
ahh, drugs. thanks for capturing another REAL moment, MiNi. continue to captivate us... i missed ya.
 
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simply amazing....I usually get about half way through long peices and then lose interest(my attention span isnt the greatest these days) but you kept me captivated all the way through.absolutely loved it :)
 
*sighs happily*
Nice work, I love reading this kinda poetry when I'm at work and the day is dragging along...
Thanks Mini :)
 
When I'm chopping lines in our kitchen at 8am
To feed our habits
I must look like a rock star
Or a total fool
Or the girl who everyone wants to be sitting next to
how did i miss this...anyhow, this is really good, and...the above quote sounds like something i have thought before.
thank you.
 
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