Before i begin ill point out that years and years ago when me and some friends were involved in small time weed dealing i was the one that convinced everyone to give it up, we were in HS at the time and i explained that if we were caught we would be kicked and probably forced to go to a school for those with behavioural problems and undoubtedly receive a lesser education fucking us for life.
That said dealing has a lot of positives surrounding it. The lifestyle can be fantastic, when we dealt our workplace was the school playground or the local shopping centres and customers were people we knew and their friends. Dealing in this respect was always fun you would hang with friends, people you like would come up, you'd chat and then exchange goods for money, whats not to like? Some might say small-scale dealing such a 'soft' drug isn't really comparable to normal dealing but when i used to buy speed, pills, k etc (im off drugs now) i would go to someones apartment they would throw on some good tunes (trance, happy hardcore) or some them had decks and would get on and spin we'd hang out, chat about common interests like music, parties, drugs and id get my drugs. At events after talking to dealers i don't regularly use (friends trusted dealers i don't buy off randoms) i would often get calls at the end of the event wondering what i was getting up to now if i was hitting the after-club or recovery party and arranging if we wanted to hang out that day, sure they were high and though i often hadn't bought anything off them yet they might of thought they could shift some drugs if we did hang out the point is still that its a very social job which a lot of people enjoy.
And for guys theres the girls that are always dripping off the small/medium dealers i know, to a minor extent they're attracted by the power and bad-boy status but mostly they're there for free drugs, iv know girls who are decent size users but never pay for anything (or so they claim) just maintaining fake flirtatious friendships with lots of dealer. Its bullshit but some guys don't care and still love it others claim they know its bullshit but its about 'face', street cred for dealing aswell as in general.
As far as the danger/paranoia, the legal risks are the only thing that stopped/stops me from dealing, even when i became a heavy user with the means to deal and pressure from my friends e.g "how many pills should i get for tonight?" "Man get as many as you can and we'll just sell what we dont use" or "dude you should really deal, so easy, so much money" 8), with the 'advantages' i have in life attending uni and from a very blessed background, prison time is not something im simply not willing to risk. I do believe if i was less fortunate though i would probably be running a meth lab and dealing as much as i could.
The paranoia can be kept under control, basically you have to accept the risks involved, accept you may go to prison, be bashed and robbed, have someone get in trouble with something you sold them and this will go a huge way. Even if you think the sirens are for you if not really anxious about prison etc then you don't freak out. A bit of controlled paranoia can be very useful, reminds you to shave, dress respectably go out sober and ask the youngest person in the store for small plastic zip-lock bags not rock up off your face looking like a sterotypical unshaven junkie dealer and ask the middle aged women where the sattys at or fill your car with your entire stash then swerve all over the road coming back from somewhere completely smashed.
The second point about the paranoia being helpful is that though your dealing may make you anxious many of those involved in drug use and dealing have pyschological/psychiatric problems and worrying about the cops can be a great distraction from worrying about other stuff that troubles you much deeper and which you feel a greater sense of doom, hopelessness, self-loathing and guilt over. I'm hardly saying drug dealing is great way to deal with your problems, better than therapy but its simply what i consider a reality of the situation.
Finally some people love the danger, i have ADHD and will admit i like danger, driving way too fast in cars, breaking into places, terrorising the neighbourhood, now im older i dont these things but i know i would still love it im just bored constantly unless i have something which absolutely demands my full attention and knowing i could be in real shit if i don't give that attention when doing stuff dangerous makes sure i do. Many people thrive on danger it can keep you sharp and remind you your alive, and is something real to think about over your cornflakes at breakfast.
I'm not promoting drug-dealing, i don't do it i make damn sure my friends, who weren't already dealers when i met them dont get into it, the ones that are i always urge to stay small-time explaining the negatives but if your gunna have a proper discussion of a topic its got to be honest considering both sides and the negative has already been put up. If your thinking about dealing imho given how real the possibilty you should think you will go to prison and miss part of your life, probably some the best years of it, the consquences your criminal record will have on the rest of your life and if this is really better than the life you would lead if you didn't deal.
