they would be SOOO lucky to find you... In BIZZARO LAND (merged).

they would be SOOO lucky to find you... In BIZZARO LAND.

To compliment Ms. Fizz on her leave your humble feelings at the door thread...

Tell us the things that you don't want anyone to know... tell us the things that will make your prospective significant other run the other direction.

Unlike Fizzeh, I will open up the first can-o-worms.

While watching my favorite movies, I will talk along with my favorite lines... or say them JUST before the character does. If this bothers you, never watch Fear and Loathing, Where the Buffalo Roam, Groove, Stripes, Ghost Dog, Ghost Busters, Fight Club, The Matrix or other movies I can't remember... never watch them with me.

I collect CDs by people you've never heard of and don't WANT to hear... obnixious guitar shit, like Steve Vai and Joe Satriani. I also have a stack of Hendrix CDs and bootlegs about 3 feet high.

I play guitar... I can play ok, but I'm not that great at it. If I practiced more my playing would get better... but I don't, so when I do take it out and pluck the strings, it can sound like shit.

I love the "last channel" button on the remote... I'll blip back and forth between two stations when the commercials come on.

I am too honest. I put my foot in my mouth constantly.

I am moody. When I'm in a bad mood, most people don't want to be around me. For proof, just ask Captain_Howdy (my hetero-lifemate), his wife AmberX or my ex-gf batty.

I have a bad temper. At least that's what people tell me... I've been told in the past that my temper can be scary.

I am intimidating. Some people react negatively to the way I look.

I'm hard to get to know... when people judge you solely on looks, it's hard for them to deal with the fact that I am a loving father and wouldn't hurt a soul.... they have a hard time believing that I'm an artist and a poet.

I am a total smart ass. That pisses off a lot of people.

I'm fat. I'm about 50 pounds overweight according to height/weight charts... well, maybe not that much, because these things change with age... but I'm still a fat fuck. Even when I was in the army running every day and working out in the gym every night, I was a fatbody. Some people say I don't look that way or that I carry it well and shit like that... but when it comes right down to it, I'm a fat-ass.

I rock the boat, even if I'm in it. I've lost many a job because of it, but I just can't seem to change. I've tried...

I'm a cynic. I try to look at the world with a positive outlook, I really do. I try hard every day. however, I know that something is going to come along and fuck it all up, so it's kind of self defeating.

I cut my nails to the quick... kinda freaks out some people. Sometimes if I feel the need to cut my nails and there aren't any clippers around, I chew my nails down.

Flatulation... 'nuff said.

I have a kid. Most women are so fucking selfish that they don't want to date a man with children because they can't deal with the fact that there is someone else in the man's life that is more important than them. I know this from experience, so don't go telling me I'm wrong.

I get sick easy, and I stay sick for a long time. I am not fun to be around when I'm sick... biggest baby around, and I am a mean SOB when I don't feel good.

I don't shave often... I hate shaving, it hurts. So more than likely I go 2 to 5 days without shaving... not real attractive.

I'm getting older kidz... 32 years old. My fucking hair is falling out.

I can be anal retentive about some things... and then just not give a fuck about others... no consistency there.

I'm diagnosed depressive... could quite possibly in the future be diagnosed bi-polar. I take meds for it (prozac), so normally I'm ok... but if I go off them, look out.

I am terrible with money... I haven't been able to save any money in 3 years. I also have horrible credit.

I have low self esteem. No shit, really? Well, I DID start this thread...

Re: they would be SOOO lucky to find you... In BIZZARO LAND.

Web said:

To compliment Ms. Fizz on her leave your humble feelings at the door thread...

Tell us the things that you don't want anyone to know... tell us the things that will make your prospective significant other run the other direction.

Unlike Fizzeh, I will open up the first can-o-worms.

While watching my favorite movies, I will talk along with my favorite lines... or say them JUST before the character does. If this bothers you, never watch Fear and Loathing, Where the Buffalo Roam, Groove, Stripes, Ghost Dog, Ghost Busters, Fight Club, The Matrix or other movies I can't remember... never watch them with me.

I collect CDs by people you've never heard of and don't WANT to hear... obnixious guitar shit, like Steve Vai and Joe Satriani. I also have a stack of Hendrix CDs and bootlegs about 3 feet high.

I play guitar... I can play ok, but I'm not that great at it. If I practiced more my playing would get better...

I am too honest. I put my foot in my mouth constantly.

I am moody. When I'm in a bad mood, most people don't want to be around me.

I have a bad temper. At least that's what people tell me... I've been told in the past that my temper can be scary.


I'm hard to get to know...

I am a total smart ass. That pisses off a lot of people.

I rock the boat, even if I'm in it. I've lost many a job because of it, but I just can't seem to change. I've tried...

I'm a cynic. I try to look at the world with a positive outlook, I really do. I try hard every day. however, I know that something is going to come along and fuck it all up, so it's kind of self defeating.


I get sick easy, and I stay sick for a long time. I am not fun to be around when I'm sick... biggest baby around, and I am a mean SOB when I don't feel good.


I can be anal retentive about some things... and then just not give a fuck about others... no consistency there.

I am terrible with money... I haven't been able to save any money in 3 years. I also have horrible credit.

I have low self esteem. No shit, really? Well, I DID start this thread...

Click to expand...

I deleted the things that didn't apply, but left everything else that does. Hm........no wonder we got along. Are you sure you're not a scorpio???? LOL

YAY I'm much better at this than at leaving my humility at the door (though I'll try that as well once I'm finished here...)

Okay, warning for any potential gay boys:

• I hate drag. A lot. The number of drag performers I've seen with any amount of talent or charisma I can count on one hand. I'm not going to dote on some old fat cunt because he's in a dress and is miming badly.
• I talk shit. A lot. I don't mean I lie, I'm actually very honest....but I talk about things that mean absolutely nothing...like "You know, having your hands chopped off wouldn't be all bad if you could get robot hands with storage space in the palms for your badges"...this is a normal conversation for me.
• I don't cope well with yuppies or a yuppie lifestyle. I come from a low-income family from a low-income background. I'm going to be uncomfortable paying $17 for a mediocre meal. Deal with it.
• Related to the yuppie thing: I hate ties. If I wanted to wear a noose, I'd hang myself.
• I too am fat.
• I see nothing wrong with dressing like a goth or a thug or wearing a goddamn op-shop dress with a pair of shorts and a blue mohawk if I feel like it. I don't blend into crowds very well in general...
• I'm an alcoholic.
• I love comics and I love roleplaying games. I'm highly aware of the geek factor involved in these activities, I don't really give a shit.
• My music collection is all over the shop....Spice Girls, Britney, Yoko Ono, Nick Cave, Marilyn Manson, Dr Dre, Eminem, Chicks On Speed, Tori Amos, you name it and I probably like it...I'm gonna listen to a lot of stuff.

That's all for now....also, I'm a Gemini, so expect any of the above to change at a moment's notice. Other than that though I'm not a bad catch.

--Raz--

Eek, a thread full of Geminis and Scorpios!

(I'm a Scorpio and my daughter is a Gemini, and my partner is a Leo, it's madness at my house )

• Food > shower. Sometimes there's not time for both. (pee-yew)
• I'm a grot, my house is filthy and I just don't care. In fact, I prefer it like this - I like to call it "organised mess".
• I have eternally cold feet, especially in bed, and I have a habit of putting them all over my sleeping partner to "warm them up".
• I'm really anal about the radio. I turn it up and down and flick stations all the time.
• I don't share chocolate, ever.
• I'm not a very good cook. I can cook great lasagne, lemon meringue pie and scalloped potatoes, but anything more than that doesn't always turn out as it should..
• My credit rating is appalling, and I spend too much money so you know, I plan to be out of debt in about 2050.
• I lie a fair bit. Not big lies, just stupid little lies, like "I did pick up some milk", when in actual fact I didn't. It's compulsive and very inconvenient.
• I don't like going out. I'm a real homebody, and sometimes it's boring.
• I have panic attacks, and if you don't know how to deal with them, I'll probably break up with you.
• I was raised by very rich parents and have very high standards, and it's not always affordable and I whine about it a lot.
• I'm oft rude and obnoxious.
• I'm short tempered.
• I'm a gossip.
• I can't hold down a job.
• I change my mind all the time.
• I think I know everything.
• I'm easily offended.
• I snore, talk and kick in my sleep.

That'll do for now. I'm going to have to seek counselling after writing that post

i am:
an egomaniac
arrogant as all fuck
lethargic
overweight (by my books anyway)
never satisfied with anything
easily annoyed
aggressive
very easily amused
very easily bored
a nerd/geek
always cold, no matter how hot it is, unless i wear fleece
a metal/death metal/ghoul rock fan

lol..i was thinking about this...you should ALWAYS be able to do both

i'm stubborn as fuck...i like to win arguments and i like to be right

i throw my dirty clothes on the floor...and my clean ones on the floor, etc...i just walk over them for a few days before i put them up usually

i save everything. i have the perfume bottle from the scent i wore the night i lost my virginity!

i don't like to exercise...i like to eat fatty foods---->fluffy fizzy

i owe 40,000 in school loans, with more to come

i drink every day

i like radio-play rap and hip-pop

i'm an NPR junkie

i get annoyed at people that get to live off their parents money through their 20's (mainly because i'm jealous)

I like Maths, yep, I can sit down with a maths paper thats vaguely challenging for 2~4 hours quite happily if I'm in the mood.

I watch Sci-Fi. I have every episode of Babylon 5 on my PC. I can tell you the entire episode story line to any Star Trek episode upon seeing 5 seconds of any part of the episode.

I watch anime, I particularly like Dragonball Z, Gundam Wing and Yu-Gi-Oh.

I like computer. I build them, overclock them and my main PC has dual monitors and is cooled using a freon compressor (the same way a fridge is cooled). I used to do watercooling but thats not good enough any more.

I have met over 30 people through the internet (not in a romantic way!!!) and am going to Gods Kitchen Global Gathering with 4 of them.

^^^The 5 above therefore mean I'm a computer/internet geek^^^^

I can't cook ANYTHING

I do drugs

like AlphaNumeric, I too am I computer geek. if one thing stops working i can spend 16 straight hours trying to fix it.

i too watch anime. trigun, cowboy bebop, berserk, vampire hunter d, ninja scroll.

in fact, all i watch is cartoons (above, plus powerpuff girls, fairly odd parents, south park, adult swim).

i dont take myself seriously.

ever.

i listen almost exclusively to house and trance, and before i workout, rapcore (limp bizkit, vmob, ill nino, slipknot).

i workout too much.

i dance when theres no music.

and i dont even notice.

even when talking to girls i just met in public.

im extremely selfish and overwhelming surrounded by a thin layer of sarcasm and no tact.

im working on the selfish part.

i spend too much time checking internet message boards when im bored.

*I'm lazy

*I spend too much time on the 'net

*I exaggerate (usually to make myself look better)

*Although I'm talented I have not reached a high level of success from it (due to fear and laziness)

*I am moody

*I can sometimes be clingy, a big softy, I fall in love too easily. (or whatever the fuck you want to call it)

*I'm better than you

*I'm ALWAYS right.....ALWAYS, just ask my ex GF. The thing that used to fuck me off though is that she was fucking wrong, then I'm the bad guy for proving my point beyond a shadow of a doubt. This will irritate you

*I think about drugs and sex all the time

*I drink too much

*I don't handle other peoples problems very well

*All talk no action

*I only have four toes on one foot (looks gross)

*I watch a lot of fucking sick porn

*I work a shit-house job

*I get bored very easily

*You will need to perform all sorts of debaucherous acts to please me in bed (not quite but I have done some full-on stuff)

So come hither my angel, and fall in love with that.......I dare ya

Oh boy, fasten your seatbelts.

I'm pretty self-absorbed... mix that in with a high appetite for drama and the fact that I'm an extrovert and you guessed it.... I love it when its all about me.

I hate being alone. I cannot be in a relationship when we don't see one another at least twice a week. Its a deal breaker.

Something at about the 3 month mark in a relationship makes me insane. I've never been in a relationship longer than 4 months due to this "3 Month Breaking Point".

I'm a slob and I don't believe in picking up after myself, let alone a man. If you want someone to be a housekeeper, hire one.

I'm completely irresponsible with money. Also, I have a huge amount of college debt.

I am easily offended.

I get whiney when I'm hungry and whinier when I don't get sex.

I refuse to shave my cooter bald. Trim yes, shave no. I don't care how trendy it is. Girls have hair and I happen to like mine.

I will probably try to drag you to the mall.

I am very selective about morning sex.

I too seem to be born to stick my foot in my mouth.

I tend to tell my friends too much about the bad stuff and not enough about the good stuff. However, I have been working on this.

I hate hearing "no".

I can be a very very fun drunk. But god help you if you catch me on a bad day (and they're like 1 in 4)

I spend entirely too much time on the computer/phone/watching TV. Generally speaking I waste my time.

I started typing these and yikes - they're bad. Good exercise, now I really know what a bad person I am!

I am bossy.

Some of my friends (including my bf) won't play Monopoly with me anymore. Tears have been shed.

I am TERRIBLE with money. I worry that I will never own a house.

I worry all the time. I have headaches almost daily.

I can be pretentious - I cought myself leaving out "impressive" books and hiding the trashy books when I had friends over on the weekend.

I win most arguements not because I'm right but because I'm persistent. (I see that as a huge flaw)

I am a snob.

I make fun of people if they have bad haircuts or wear tapered jeans.

I'm really bad at returning phone calls.

I cannot bake and don't want to learn.

I get upset if my bf doesn't put his dishes right into the dishwasher or rinse them off.

I can't force myself to do homework on time and then whine about how much work I have to do.

If I'm not going anywhere, I don't even brush my hair and I live in sweatpants - what an attractive partner I make.

I tell people what I think of them even if it's not appropriate (ie. telling off boyfriend's co-worker).

I constantly judge people.

I am addicted to reality tv shows. (And it's not to live vicariously through the people on the show - it's to cheer myself up because I see people on those shows as huge losers)

I want to drink every day.

I would rather not own a car than own a junker.

I know the difference between being honest and being mean - sometimes I go with mean anyway.

Wow, I could go on and on...

Raz said:

also, I'm a Gemini, so expect any of the above to change at a moment's notice.

Click to expand...

me too, and that might help explain many of the following traits:

- i'm ridiculously moody. i don't think i'm clinically manic or anything, but i do tend to have crazy mood swings for no apparent reason.

- i very rarely know what i want.

- i'm a raging drunk. i quit drinking a month ago, but a lifetime of alcohol vs. 1 month of sobriety still = drunkass.

- many people have told me i have a bad temper. i disagree, but i do notice that if some driver cuts me off in traffic, i get really bent out of shape. i guess the things that do actually piss me off really piss me off. i was a very angry child and some of that anger has definitely stayed with me into adulthood.

- in line with the above statement, i'm an overly aggressive driver. i tailgate, yell at other cars, cut people off on purpose, and generally drive in a manner that is very scary to many passengers. i used to carry a baseball bat in my car because i talked such an insane amount of shit on the road.

- i'm IMPOSSIBLE to deal with if i need to eat.

- i believe most, if not all, meaningful art is the product of intense suffering. for this reason, it's sometimes difficult for me to find beauty in the innocence of happy, fluffy clouds and things of that nature.

- i'm unreasonably secretive. most of the people i meet want to bare their souls to me even though i don't ask them to. after they've made themselves vulnerable, they wait for me to reciprocate and it rarely happens. i'm not a big fan of self-disclosure.

- i have almost no tolerance for overtly religious people.

- i'm stubborn.

- i think i'm more intelligent than almost everyone i meet.

- i place a lot of emphasis on physical attractiveness. i'm quite full of myself in believing i look good naked, so i expect you to look good naked too. i will maintain a low opinion of you if you have poor personal hygiene. i hardly even keep any unattractive friends, let alone sexual partners.

- i'm non-monogamous.

- i fuck other people's boyfriends without regret.

- despite all this, i have the sex drive of a mushroom.

- i blow money as soon as it's in my possession.

- i'm impatient. i'm horribly self-indulgent. generally, i'm a total hag.

i'm sure there's more, but i'm off to the other thread to go say nice things about myself instead

From an aquarius...

I hate being told what to do

I dont like feeling inferior intelligently or asthetically (sp?) When I do, I become withdrawn, moody and insecure.

I break plans more often that I should

I tend to overlap plans as well with different people

I have a lot of self love...which results in a bit of egocentrism.

I dont like to cook for other people because I am a perfectionist and I will worry too much about it not being perfect.

I can have a messy room

I hate sharing a bed unless Im fucked up on something that will help me sleep

I'd rather be the one driving


Big dicks scare me off...theres only so much I can handle

I drink a lot.

I smoke more than probably anyone you know.

I'm skinny.

I can get lost in my computer or a book to the point of ignoring everything else.

I'm really messy. I tend to stack empty bottles, and cups all over my desk, and around my bed.

I have a tight group of friends that are very hard on new comers.

I have extraordinary sex drive. Might sound good at first, but it can be a lot of work.

I'm friends with most of my ex's and talk to them often.

I’m terrible with directions. My girlfriend is an in car navigation unit.

well now, let's see

I can be a slob

I speak my mind

I love to get the last word in

I can be condescending

I'm smarter than 75% of the population out there and I don't mind letting people know

I smoke

I am an asshole most of the time (but a likable asshole) I make that shit work

I talk shit about people behind their backs and to their faces

I can be very confrontational

I am aggressive

When I get pissed, I make sure everyone around me knows about it, and if they aren't pissed with me, they will be

I snore

I forget where I put important paper work and things I know I will need

I can be arrogant

And, I like to brag about having porn cock, LOL

there we go

* I whine when i dont get my way
*I flip the tv channels constantly
*I never rinse out the dishes or load the dishwasher correctly
* i get mad easily and have a bad temper (but get over it fast)
*I'm messy
* i pout
*I'm horrible with money
*I'm irresponsible
*I'm lazy
*i have horrible credit
* i can make pasta...thats it!
*i like to start trouble
*when i dont want to do something i pretend like i don't know how and have someone else do it
*I sleep with a horribly ugly blanket i've had since i was 3
*my favorite color is hot pink
*I'm spoiled
*when i drink too much im obnoxious
*im a leo so i always crave attention

Ummmmm...I'm sure there is more but im going to stop there cause this is making me feel like shit damn it!

O.k. let's see...

I'm a neat freak...especially when I'm stressed out, my OCD kicks in & I can't totally relax until my house is picked up and neat

I sweat the small stuff but let the big stuff go

I don't like to confront people so I let my husband handle it for me

I hate the texture of wooden spoons!!

I absolutely refuse to return rental movies or library books on time

I let stuff build up inside of me to the point where I have a meltdown and tend to break alot of shit

God, where do I begin...

*I hate it when I meet people that I know are smarter than I am; that doesn't mean I hate them, though--just the inequality.

*I hate being wrong, though at least I'll admit it when I am.

*I'm a sore, sore loser. I don't lose my temper, but--let's just say that getting schooled by a pool shark in one game turned me off to that game for life.

*Though I don't outwardly act it, I'm often melodramatic, and obsess over worst-case scenarios; I can make missing the bus seem like the sinking of the Titanic.

*I can never keep my room neat and orderly for long.

*I constantly buy books that I never read, and that just end up taking limited space.

*I hold a mean grudge, and can grouse on one daily for many years.

*I'm terribly cheap; I truly love my money, what little there is. Worse, I'm much worse when it comes to spending money for others rather than myself.

*I always make myself out to be worse than I really am, due to an impacable perfectionism.

*I'm selfish and extremely territorial; my room is Holy Ground.

*I'm too eager to please, and often try to satisfy everyone--which of course never works, and leads to me feeling like a failure.

*I get deeply involved in relationships--whether they're platonic or romantic, social or personal--too quickly for my own good.

*If someone makes a social or personal faux pas once, unless they're very close I never forget it.

*I usually ignore advice, even from my friends, and often to my peril.

*I'm a Geek. 'Nuff said.

*I'm the homebody's homebody--with some books, a PC, and a calculator, I'm a happy man. I never go out unless invited, which leads to a virtually nonexistent social life.
v
v
*This nonexistent social life is the cause of my general ineptitude and silence in public.

*I'm too cautious, and hate taking risk.

*I'm horribly indecisive, even down to the tiniest choices. "Should I buy the Snickers, or the M&M's?" The answer takes 5 to 10 minutes...

Web, this is a crack up!! Nice one!

Some of my "not so endearing" qualities.....

* I'm extremely stingy with money. Even in a long-term relationship I have "mine" and "his" money, and keep track of every cent I give you.

* On the other hand, I expect you to be generous

* I can be hypocritical (see above)

* I embellish the truth at times (ok, sometimes flat out lie, but only over minor things)

* I am a horrible flirt, and will probably flirt with your friends. But if I'm embarrasing you, you only have to say and I'll respect that.

* Not too great at any housework that doesn't involve the kitchen. My carpet is a dust haven and there's hair 10cm thick in my bathtub.

* I'm demanding and high maintenance. I want to be told I'm loved and beautiful, and I won't let you get away with anything

* I will whip your ass in an argument because I'm great with words, and you probably won't like that. I can make you feel like shit in seconds flat, and hate to admit I'm wrong

* I have kind of short legs - and although I'm not fat, I could probably do with losing about 5kg.

* I know absolutely NOTHING about music, I can't dance to save my life and have no dress sense whatsoever.

* I don't have any interesting hobbies.

* I tend to lose myself a bit in relationships; I'll end up liking what you like, listening to the music you listen to, hanging out with your friends.

* I come with a cat who maiows constantly

* My mum's a bit of a nut (but a nice nut, if you know what I mean)

* I want kids, and relatively soon. And I really, really want the wedding.

Geez, I found this easier than the other one! I feel like crap now :D

hmmmm
i have diabetes and require a strict diet and take insulin
horribile with money
math geek
can be an asshole
very much a loner
extemely dedicated to israel and its survival
think that people who smoke cigerettes in this day&age are retarded enough to qualify to particapate in the special olympics
listen to godspeed you! black emperor everyday at least twice
sleep all the time
im a vegitarian
unrelently hateful of pop-music
stubborn socialist
piss and moan when anyone plays happy hardcore till they turn it off
will speak in dutch or hebrew when talking shit to someone so they cant underdstand me
very much a homebody
the thought of having kids makes me sick
i wear mostly black, gray, and brown earth tones (hate bright "happy" colours)
all the music i listen to is dark &/or depressing
npr junkie...and despise those who dont appreciate it
i wear ONLY banana republic and j crew
very moody
and finally..im a jew