Benzos vs alcohol for occasional use. Which is worse?

Hi everyone.
I've been thinking about this for a while. Millions of people use alcohol recreationally throughout their lives without addiction or withdrawals. I am aware that alcohol(unlike benzos) is toxic to your body and very damaging if abused. I also know that it affects several parts of the brain, while benzos are selective to GABA A. I often see benzo withdrawals get compared to alcohol WD because of similarity in symptoms. (both affecting GABA A)

I've been living with a relative who's been an alcoholic for the last 7-8 years. He's in his 50s and very athletic. I'm not sure how much exactly he drank a day, but I'd estimate around 7-10 units a day. I've never seen him physically impaired(slurring, stumbling, passing out, throwing up), but heavy drinking always brings out his extremely short temper, anger, very irrational thinking and decision making. Hes also been driving intoxicated and never got in any accidents.
For the past year or so he's been trying to quit due to fatty liver and growing risk of cirrhosis. Whenever he went sober for a few weeks, I didn't notice any major discomfort for him. The worst symptom for him was insomnia that lasted for about 2 weeks and probably anxiety (that he kept to himself). I was very surprised to see him stop drinking without any major symptoms. He was able to go about his daily life and continue his vigorous exercise and other physical activities. Mentally he would become much healthier and less disturbing to the family. Irrational anger subsided and he seemed much calmer. Unfortunately, he relapsed multiple times and still hasn't quit.

I personally dislike alcohol, and seeing my family member ruin his life and traumatize the family turned me away from it even more. However, I've been using benzos occasionally as a tool for the past year (mostly for stim comedowns). Whenever I take benzos more than 3 times a week (low-moderate doses) I can't help but worry about dependence, tolerance, or any rebound anxiety.

This brings me to the question, can benzos be used responsibly on certain occasions just like alcohol? For example, instead of going out to a bar on weekends, can I just take a benzo in a similar fashion? Would this be safe in terms of not developing dependence, tolerance, or rebound anxiety?

Some additional questions:

1) Does benzo dependence/withdrawals develop much faster than with alcohol?
2) Do benzos lead to more rebound anxiety from OCCASIONAL use than alcohol?
3) Why do people (like my family member) get away with daily drinking much easier than those using benzos daily?


Benzos I use: Xanax, etizolam


TL; DR: A family member was able to quit daily drinking without any significant symptoms besides insomnia, which made me wonder about the onset of alcohol dependance vs benzo dependence.
Can short acting benzos be used in a similar fashion to occasional alcohol use? Example: instead of drinking with your friends on the weekend, you take 1-2mg xanax.
Do dependence and tolerance develop much faster with benzo use than with alcohol? If yes, whats the explanation behind this?


P.S. I'm sorry for the long post. I'm currently on adderall and had a strong urge to write this post haha

I do believe benzo dependence/withdrawals occur more quickly than do alcohol withdrawals

I would be curious what you consider "occasional use" but nonetheless, i do think benzos would lead to more rebound anxiety because of the social stigma around it. You already said that you have been worried about getting addicted to it, and thats because of everything youve been taught by the drug world. Many people have gotten badly addicted to benzos and we all know how awful the withdrawals are, so if you use it twice a week and then get rebound anxiety, it may be more intense than it should be because you may worry yourself about getting addicted to it. I hope that makes sense, but basically the social stigma around it can cause worse rebound anxiety.

The short answer...social stigma again. Nicotine and alcohol have become socially acceptable, so people's mentality around it allow for more use and abuse of it

Thank you for your response! I agree with you about social stigma and anxiety caused by fear of addiction. As for occasional use, i made a rule for myself to use 2-3 times a week max. Honestly, as much as I like benzos, I like Adderall MUCH more. Id say about 75% of the time I take benzos is for stim comedowns.

I also think that I'm particularly sensitive to WD. I think I'm currently addicted to weed (dabs and oil pens), even though everyone says its not addictive. After 1.5 months of being stoned basically all day, I had to travel somewhere for 5 days. During those 5 days I barely got any sleep, had absolutely no appetite, nausea, upset stomach and diarrhea, nonstop restlessness, extreme boredom, and regular moments of sadness. The level of discomfort was pretty surprising to me, considering its only been 1.5 months.

Great question, but everyone is different. I have friends who casually use benzos as a tool (like you do, for stims) but will spiral out of control if they start drinking. I have friends who can use alcohol responsibly, but are hopelessly addicted to benzos. I myself am somewhere in the middle. I'm a problem drinker (I can resit it, but once I start, it's hard to stop), never an addiction to benzos, but have suffered terrible terrible withdrawals from them a few times. Personally I consider benzos to be much more sinister. Maybe I'm used to alcohol and know how to navigate it, but benzos can really sneak up on you. The couple benzo addicts I know began by using them occasionally, for emergencies so to speak. But as the years go by, you may find more and more reasons to take them. For example, if you end up upping your adderall usage, your benzo usage will follow. Just like alcohol, you may find yourself dosing more often if you're terribly anxious or depressed for a long time and want some relief. (Same reason people drink.) I suppose the danger is when you slip from utilitarian use to recreational use, and it's not always easy to realize because anything can be justified. Hangovers can be pretty awful, don't get me wrong, but I've never experienced something so terrible as benzo withdrawal. Check out the Wikipedia article about "Benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome" if you wanna be scared.

Oh yeah, I just remembered you were asking about meanness. It may seem counter-intuitive, but benzos can make people -incredibly- mean. Maybe not initially, but when they start coming down or are experiencing withdrawals, people can be so incredibly cruel. The worst is when someone on benzos says something awful to you, but later on they don't even remember it or even believe you. Years of benzo use can change your personality and make you generally a more irritable, mean person. Again, this is just my anecdotal experience with friends. I'm not a doctor.