Benzos Going back on benzos after 18 months off

At present, I am dealing with a difficult situation. I have posted about it in other threads (see "benzo/gabapentin hell") but to summarize, here is what happened;

• Took benzos/z-drugs daily for four years (2010-2014)
• After hitting tolerance withdrawal and other issues, I detoxed off them in August 2014
• Took a while to feel better, but slowly and gradually made good improvements
• At five months off, life was kinda back to normal. Only issues I had were extreme insomnia (up for days at a time), lingering anxiety, and some cognitive impairment/memory loss
• Doctor put me on gabapentin to get through these issues while I adjusted to a new job
• Caused all types of physical and psychological problems, stopped it after seven weeks of use (March 2015)

It's now been 18 months since I've been off benzos and 12 months since I've been off gabapentin. Gabapentin has left me a total mess. I have nasty physical symptoms (endless hair loss, some nerve pain, heart palpitations, alcohol & caffeine intolerance, fatigue) and psychological issues (SEVERE anxiety, inability to drive or travel, derealization & irrational fears, cognitive impairment and memory issues).

I'm 100% worse than I was in the six months I was off benzos. This short term use of gabapentin did something to my body, either by itself or contributed to issues, and made my life a living hell.

It's been one year and right now my life is in limbo; can't advance my career, travel, pursue a romantic relationship, etc.

Anyway, every doctor I've gone to has been useless in identifying a problem. I went to a neuropsychologist who suggested I go back on a benzodiazepine to fight these problems.

Now, my question;

Has anybody ever successfully gone back on a benzodiazpeine while suffering from benzo withdrawals? Is there a significant risk of these drugs not working and causing a "kindling" effect?

If it's anything like alcoholism, the kindling effect would occur increasing the severity of consecutive withdrawals, in my experience. I don't think the benzos would refuse to work for you, in this instance. I mean, they'd just cancel out the withdrawals once you got back on them, ideally. Long term the consequences can be a whole other story, as you're aware.

That's just what comes to me off the top of my head though.

I had a crossed addiction with opiates and benzodiazepines. And considering my experience, going back to benzos will reactivate all those brain receptors that used to make us feel calm and relaxed and it can indeed jeopardize the time off of benzos.

On the other hand, everyone is different and these days you have an amazing number of medications that could be used instead.

Be honest with your doctor, explain your background history and if he still thinks benzo is the way, I'd look for a second opinion.

I know opiates are very hard to quit and even harder to stay off but mentally speaking benzodiazepines can really mess you up IMO/E.

This is just my experience with that particular sort of medication. Maybe you are different, but you asked if I had done it successfully, based on previous history, the answer in my case is no.

Good luck!
Erik

I definitely worry about having a similar experience, in that it won't work and probably make things worse. I still don't have any idea how gabapentin messed me up the way it did, but the withdrawal issues once I stopped that were 100x worse than they were when I got off benzos.

I'm just so lost. I can't drive, travel, drink alcohol or coffee, think straight, remember things, etc. Life sucks! And I had none of these problems prior to gabapentin.

I have not gone back on benzos but I have had success in relieving long term benzo withdrawal symptoms through trial and error use of herbs. The following herbs may be of some benefit:

kava - great muscle relaxant, pain reliever and anti worry

valerian - relieves the inner tension and tightness of benzo withdrawal

scullcap - helps sooth the nervous system and quiet intrusive thoughts

mulungu - great fully body relaxant

yerba mate - helps with lack of energy and demotivation associated with benzo withdrawal

amanita muscaria - helps with depression and feeling of being mentally dead

psilocybin mushroom - helps restore the brain cells to health


I recommend using these herbs over any pharmaceutical. they take some time and effort to get to know, but they have amazing healing and curative power. benzo dont heal they just mask symptom. Learn nature's way.

Hey blue comet, I read your other thread and while your situation seems pretty messed up, I would not go down the Benzo route again.
It is very possible that some of your problems result from the 4 year long phase you were on Benzos, on the other hand some of them could be contributed to the Gabapentin.
I guess one fact is that your GABA receptors have taken a considerable hit and in my opinion starting Benzos again would only make things worse in the long run.
You probably feel short term relief but you know how BZD's affect your cognitive abilities and if the symptoms come from the Gabapentin, Benzos won't cure every single of them.

It is a difficult situation and I wish you all the best. Maybe first do a trial and just take a Benzo once and see how it affects your state but pls don't jump in head straight into daily use again pls don't jump in head
straight into daily use again

I was on benzos as well for years. I was like erikmen, cross addicted to opiates and benzos. The difference is, I successfully take them as needed now. I actually received a script of xanax instead of my zoloft and took it for three days before I realized they were xanax and poured them down the garbage disposal. I can't have that many around me at once or I will take them. Chances are you are in this same boat...

What works for me to combat the daily insomnia is benadryl and l-theanine, coupled with going leaving a tv on for white noise. I don't sleep well all the time, but it helps for me to sleep at all.

You may want to try taking a benzo PRN. Only when you need it. Unfortunately one of the things you will need to learn as you do this is that you have to accept being uncomfortable quite a bit and that your benzos are a last resort option.

I was addicted to benzos, booze and dope.
I still drink from time to time and i take opiates almost daily.
i have an emergency 10mg valium that ive carried around for years. (i like to know if i have a level 10 panic attack i can make it stop, know i can make it stop helps it never really get that bad)

i would rather go through opiate wd for a month straight than ever go back on benzos and experience the hell of trying to get off of them.

if you are looking for a pharmacological solution i would perhaps try something else or exhaust other avenues before going back on benzos of you had a reason and desire to get and stay off of them.

At your place I would abstain from anything that acts on GABAR or calcium channels directly. I recommend you start exploring different ways of relieving anxiety/physical symptoms. Such as Clonidine which is a receptor a2 agonist which block the release of Norepinephrine in the body by negative feedback. Or mabe Cannabis which has tons of various effects due to the amount of different cannabinoids. There is also Magic mushrooms that would be a good way to put the swich on, psychologically speaking.

Appreciate all the replies.

The symptoms I have will likely need to be assisted with some sort of medication. Hair loss, alcohol & caffeine intolerance, physical pain, etc, are not something that I can fix through other channels. I also refuse to really go through any therapy or counseling. I was seeing an outpatient psychologist and counselor when this all occurred, and that experienced has led to an infinite firey hatred for that whole medical field.

I just don't know what drug to go on. Benzos terrify me and there was a reason I got off of them, plus it would pain me forever if I had to go back on them because of this dickhead doctor who gave me incorrect information about gabapentin.

what's wrong with the herbs i suggested?

Nothing. I have to do some research on them, as I've heard some (valerian, kava) may hinder my body's recovery.

That is seriously very strange... I've never heard of gabapentin causing those symptoms. I myself took gabapentin a couple times when it was prescribed and experienced what I can only describe as gabapentin w/d, although I've heard this doesn't always happen, especially when people take it for things like nerve pain. To be honest the gabapentin created minor w/d very quickly with me, like in a matter of days. As opposed to opiates taking a good 3 weeks and never having benzo w/d although I take a small amount daily.

What was your benzo dose like? I've been taking 0.5-1mg clonazepam or alprazolam (switched a couple months back because the clonazepam duration of action was way too long) and never had any problems...

By the time I stopped I was taking 1.5mg clonezepam and 15mg zolpidem.

blue comet said:

Nothing. I have to do some research on them, as I've heard some (valerian, kava) may hinder my body's recovery.

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but going back on benzos won't? wasnt that your question?

blue comet said:

I definitely worry about having a similar experience, in that it won't work and probably make things worse. I still don't have any idea how gabapentin messed me up the way it did, but the withdrawal issues once I stopped that were 100x worse than they were when I got off benzos.

I'm just so lost. I can't drive, travel, drink alcohol or coffee, think straight, remember things, etc. Life sucks! And I had none of these problems prior to gabapentin.

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I can't imagine being on gabapentin for a long stretch of time..I used it for maybe a month total..towards the end I felt extremely lethargic, irritable, very bad hand tremors, confused mind, blurry vision..just all around shitty..