You appear to be an addict. If you continue to take them, physical addiction is inevitable. Please, think long and hard about this.. Your life will be destroyed, is this worth it? NO, it is not.. Make the right decision. God bless and be safe.
BINGO!
I've been an ADDICT since I was 18 and I am 32 now. many times I've gotten somewhat clean, the longest was 3-4yrs but 2 of those years I was in jail. so even after going to jail due to drugs, having many issues, due to drugs, I THOUGHT I could beat addiction, and only take a a HALF PERC 30's a COUPLE DAYS A WEEK TOPS! I went to jail for distribution of OXY 80's back in 02, when the 80's were the "good" ones. I thought I learned my lesson and stayed away from drugs/opiates for many, many years, but I eventually thought I had it ALL BEAT, and that a few days a week TOPS! thats it, just a few days a week, its not bad, right? esp. if I am only doing 1/3 of a 30MG pill. that 1/3 of a pill, 1 fucking pills will last me ALL WEEK, right? its all too simple. ill never get sick, ill spend 20-35 bucks a week, TOPS.. and ill enjoy my work day cuz percs are fun and made me work harder. only good can come of this, of course.
well, that was when I was 25, I am now 32 and have been a full blown heroin addict for the last 7 years. my veins are no where to be found, although, my arms are starting to heal a BIT since I have been "clean" (in parenthesis cuz I use bupe) for a little over a month now. I have picked up 2 DUI's in the past 7 years; I've ran myself into insane debt and filed bankruptcy, I've OD'd numerous times, many where I have woken up in the hospital, many where I have woken up 12hrs later on my floor w/o a clue in the world. I was lucky to get a good job in software sales considering my background and made good money, but I lost that 2 years ago cuz I would nod out at the desk, I would drop pins in the corporate bathrooms, I would be late, take off easily, 2 hour lunch instead of 1, etc. I've also come to find out I had a brain tumor/cancer when I was 30, so I used that as an additional excuse to use MORE! they scripted me dilaudid after my brain surgery and I went through my Dr's scripts in 3 days, but it was a 30 day supply w/ 3 refills. he knew I was a junkie cuz I had to tell them cuz it took a lot more to KNOCK ME OUT and also keep me OUT OF PAIN WHILE IN THE HOSPITAL! the minute I left THAT DAY I SHOT DILAUDID. a week later I was back to shooting grams upon grams of dope, spending money that I made on a 1099 to get it; so I NEVER PAID TAXES!
dude, I barely go into many of my others problems, but there is a quick overview of the person I once thought could handle taking opiates occasionally, without a worry in the world. well, they ruined my life, my families lives, ex GF's life, friends lives, etc. of course, it ruined my life but it hurts me more knowing that so many others were hurt a long the way.
I have only been "clean" a month, and this is the longest I've been away from dope for in years and years, and truly feel I am done, but again, you NEVER FUCKING KNOW, so I will NOT SAY I AM DONE, but I am clean for another day.
again, just REMEMBER, we've ALL SAID IT BEFORE, thinking we had it beat, that it would NEVER BE A PROBLEM, a FEW DAYS A WEEK TOPS, thats it. that we'd never do dope, we'd never use a needle, we'd never OD, never have any serious issues. dude, my life has been ruined time and time again.