Harm Reduction 25, almost impotent, no libido and fucking depressed

Hi guys,

I am just 25 and having these problems for a few years now....I am going to visit a doctor in near future, because I didnt. The thing is, I make holidays in ost europe, in about less than two weeks. I stopped smoking today, exercise daily and maybe order some MACA which is really helpful with libido problems, it definately worked with me a few years ago.

( am not arrogant, but many and yeah beautiful women find me attractive and I could have had them all and guess what I had only Sex once in my whole Life with 19 after a bottle of wodka, with a girl I knew an hour, but I just didnt came and still had some kind of erection problems and I didnt felt anything, like my penis is numbed.. Not that I dont get it up anymore, but the erection doesnt get as hard as it should and gets away without permanent stimulation and I have serious problems to come with or without drugs.

So, I could have had so many women , but I doesnt even started anything, because of these really really serious problems which ...I dont know how to say...it is disturbing, depressing, and yeah , its just FUCKED!

I started smoking with 14, daily cannabis till 17, drunk every weekend, but always horny and always an erection when I woke up. That didnt happen since years.
At 18 I started getting depressed, had insomnia, abused more and more drugs, and more damaging like stimulants until now, gbl, benzos, etc etc. But the problems started with 18, before the heavy abuse began, it started when I developed depersonalization disorder and the start of that began with an event, something traumatic, not drug induced.

Now, when I am on stims and look a porn, my dick goes up, just the erection isnt as hard, and I feel pretty much numbed, even when clean. So there is no real feeling, just hornyness in my head while looking porn. And I literally feel anything when having sex with a women.

I am not saying drugs doesnt play a role in these problems, but I dont think that they are the usual case.

However, when I am in holidays, I dont give a fuck anyway , nobody knows me, whatever happens there, stays there. The only thing that comes in mind is that I am going to do is fucking hookers or students, party and drugs.

I have extra ordered Acetildenafil ordered at least to get a decent erection, well I hope I will, I cant find much about dosage or experience with it, so I am afraid to test it. The second thing is, I will definately drink in clubs, bars, and probably take something else too.

Drinking and Mirtazapine is no problem, even if I add benzos to it, no problems. I think I will avoid taking stimulants, because of the vasoconstiction which is in my case very contraproductive.

Does anyone know if its safe to drink, maybe take a benzo, add the acetildenafil and probably take ...well I dont know, psychedelics seems just not to fit for going out and so on. MDMA makes me just loving everybody, I dont see any reason to fuck because everything feels great enough on it.

I probably would add a small amount on some kind of stimulant, but I dont know how it affects with the acetildenafil. I heard its a serious dangerous combination, even if I read often about taking stims and then viagra.

Any advice and maybe a link how to dose this. I would definately try it sober first, before considering combining it.

low testosterone? idk good luck bro

So you only fucked one girl? Attempts with others that failed or no more attempts due to problems?

Find some college girls and bang them. Worked for me.

The mirtrazepine could be to blame.

Drinking and Mirtazapine is no problem, even if I add benzos to it, no problems. I think I will avoid taking stimulants, because of the vasoconstiction which is in my case very contraproductive.

Does anyone know if its safe to drink, maybe take a benzo, add the acetildenafil and probably take ...well I dont know, psychedelics seems just not to fit for going out and so on. MDMA makes me just loving everybody, I dont see any reason to fuck because everything feels great enough on it.

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Well, you may be thinking that mirtazapine and benzodiazepines have no effect on your libido, but you're so wrong. I had no problem getting an erection while on methadone + clonazepam, I thought they didn't affect me that much in this respect, but I was wrong. I was getting an erection, but I wasn't getting the rest, I was numbed emotionally like a zombie. No problem with erection, but sometimes I preferred to finish in 2 minutes imagining stuff in my head than to go on numbed for no reason. It really felt weird to put my penis into a girl's vagina having almost nothing in my head, so mechanical and mechanical only. As long as I was still on clonazepam, I couldn't fully appreciate sex even after taking an empathogen. Stimulants taken regularly in the long run will ruin it for you as well.

Also, maybe your attitude is a bit wrong. MDMA makes you feel so good that everything feels great enough? Well, one thing for which I liked empathogens was very deep intimacy they were giving me, and not really among a lot of people, not in clubs etc., but mostly when I was with one or two people at most. And sex felt great not because I could fuck hard for hours, but simply because I could make love slowly and feel all the emotions and energy of myself and a girl. It's a great way for ascension of minds of two people close to each other, it's like the energy not just adds but it exponentiates unbelievably. I doubt that it's going to happen with any person though.

if fine till night time, then can get a boner just cant cum, dam opiates and benzos hahahah

my friend first of all cut the drugs then go to a pshyco doctor and tell him to examine yor hormons...a friend of mine done a tesrosterine ejection and now taking two ormone caps a day and he is fine!!

Well,

yeah, I would almost exactly think the same, so you are absolutely right.

1. The Mirtazapines and benzoadiazepines definately played a huge part in completely loosing my libido, but it felt constantly since I was like 19-20...With 15-16...a drunk as fuck sitting stoned in a corner I still got an erection, the girl just had to sit next to me and touch or something...That was what I would normal.

I just meant that Mirtazepaine and benzodiazepines doesnt play a huge role in my erection problems...I can do whatever I want, its never gettinng that hard again, like it was before all this started and like it should be.

I am probaböy more emotional dead without drugs than with....I just felt numbed, everywhere, like I said I dont even have the feeling that I am in my body or see the world through my own eyes and I dont regognize me in the mirror...and so an...Yeah, but thats all stuff I talk with therapist about it, and even they dont know whats up.

I think I know the reason and sex play a part with it...I had these feeling when I was 19 and had my one night with these girl...I really want to avoided the whole situation, like I said I must vomit and lay me in bed...Then she came naked laying next to me...and lol..I wasnt even thinking about my anxiety, self doubts, etc. I just fucked her, but I still felt nothing...It had something aggressive, but nothing passionate about it, like no feeling and I mean emotionwise and my penis felt and still feels numb. Well, we fucked for about an hour, I didnt came and slept.

Waking up in the morning, the colors seems brighter, and everything was some kind of different. Then I suddenly realized I feel like me again, I am in my fucking body again...I was the happiest person on the planet the whole day. I slept like 2 hours, drank a shit load of alcohol and stepped out the door, gave her a kiss, added her on facebook and yeah..went to the streets. like a bum...for real. my hair was outta control, I smelled like sex, sweat and alc. And I just dont gave a fuck about it, because I felt like me, with my self confidence, my whole attitude, my humor, everything was back. ok, to be short, went to the bus, get home, didnt eat and went to my friends because they asked me what happend..and yeah, that was the day pretty much. Over the next weeks, these symptoms came back really fast....

MDMA like you said, even it it doesnt work as good as before, was the only drug that ever got me back to this state, like feeling like myself. And not feeling high, no feeling my body, my emotions, beeing inside my body.

But to be back to topic....Is there anything that could boost my libido in like 8 days? probably not, during drug abuse till yesterday...
What I will do when I am in holidy is definately fucking somebody, student or hooker and I dont...well sure I care about how it goes, but the loss of libido and the erection problems have somehow to be short term reliefed thats for sure...

I have acetildenafil, but I dont know how well that mixes with drugs/booze and I will definately some kinda high, because I have to get rid of this dissociative state, I feel way too disconnected, if I dont drink or pop a benzo. I wont consider taking speed, because of the speed dick...I mean most of you know what I mean...

However I dont have this with MDPV....with MDMA sometimes, sometimes not, but yeah, MDMA...I more feel like talking than fucking and beeing soft, melancholic, I dont know. With your girlfriend okay...But for a one night stand with a stranger....Dont know...

I know that the wisest choice would be do not take anything, but I have to know how dangerous it would be to take acetildenafil, mirtazapine, and MDPV for example. Or is there any better choice than MDPV? Acetildenafil I will definately take, mirtazepine, but I could let it out but wouldnt make a difference for 2-3 days. Except that I get electro shocks.

@hammilton

what do you mean banging college girls worked for you? lol, kinda relief from anything or what are you trying to ssay


/

I did cut the drugs half a year, but there was sometime days it was slightly better and sometimes days that were worse...
Its pretty much the same with drugs, but I dont know if anyone can understand how it feels to be in such a condition, not just ED, loss of libido, no job, no friends...No, just not feeling anything, not feeling like yourself, feeling dead inside! Probably half of these woudl be the pure horror for most, which is understandable, but chronic, seven years? Not even a job , living at home...yeah.

So, the main question is, acetildenafil, and booze, maybe a benzo and mdpv okay? low dose of course. Seems kinda crazy to ask if thats okay....but yeah, I dont have so much knowledge about acetildenafil, viagra and all those...Do they lower the blood pressure stronger than betablocker for example?



@ Hamilton, yeah definately I will, but in what kinda way helped it you?

@ did all this, its not a hormonel thing, believe me. Its something psychological, at worst the ED is really physical due to smoking cigarettes, drug abuse, and all this stuff.

Since you're able to get an erection on your own you would have secondary impotence. The viagra-like drugs will definitely help, but they are less effective there than in primary impotence since physically you're probably fine.

I meant that having sex with college girls was a good way to take your mind off of things. Try to get out of your head, not to think, and just experience. Figure out what you like. Don't become obsessed with it, that'll make everything worse times a thousand. You probably already have been obsessing from the wall'o'text you've been posting, and you need to stop that. Yeah, benzos are good for that, but I don't think something numbing will be helpful.

Cannabis always made sex more enjoyable for me, but if it makes your anxiety worse, then it won't help.

About your penis being numb: If you're expecting a wet pussy to give you the same sensation your hand will, you're out of luck. Even the tightest girl won't manage that for you. That said, it's still wonderful (far more so, actually). Ever get a blowee from someone really skilled? There's no pussy that can compare to a well performed suck job.

Personally I always found it a bit difficult to orgasm, my first time lasted an hour, and I can easily last as long as I want in anyone's hands (or mouth! Lol) and frequently last much longer than I want. Sometimes ya just wanna get in and out.

maybe low testosterone as mentioned, but you should def see a doc for this, maybe get Rx some Viagra (def don't mix it with any stims tho)