Etiquette

Well with all the topics on being Jaded and that the 'scene' is all farked I thought I'd start a thread on something completely different.
On the weekend I was reading the Sunday Age magazine and it had an article on a book about etiquette. During the article it gave examples of etiquette as outlined in the book. This lead me to thinking that is etiqutte just like ethics a subjective opinion on the way things ought to be.
Why is it that when we think etiquette we think no elbows on the table as opposed to what do I think is right. I for one would be highly offended if I was greated in an overly formal manner and therefore would consider it a breach of my personal etiquette.
Anyway what do you all think of etiquette, what do you consider to be some of your own standards etc.

Heh I read the same thing. Some thing that i do think ALL parents should teach all kids is...
1. Do not fart burp at the dinner table.
2. Say please and thank you.
3. Put knife and fork together when finnishing a meal that requires these items (my bf doesnt do this and it really shitts me)
4. Thank whoever made the meal.
These are mostly eating etiquettes, but I think they are really important cause basically your on trial when you out at dinner with your (new) bf/gf.
I just went digging around to find the article but I must have thrown it out, but I remember something bout the correct way you should tell a person you are pleased to meet them or something..

Not all food is finger food.
When you are presented with food and your host has provided cutlery, it might be a good idea to use it.
Picking up peas with your fingers and sucking the mashed spud and gravy off them before eating the middle part and placing the pea-skin on the plate is probably NOT in the best of taste and your host might be offended at you rejecting their pea-skin.

Respect other peoples personal space (particularly in public places around people I don't know).
Give my seat to someone who needed it more. All that polite shite!

I cannot stand it when ppl eat with there mouth open and you hear them chewing, its so disgusting, i think it should be another one on the list of what kids should be taught by parents.

I can't stand it when guys (strangers/not family) get around with no shirt on. This was how I was brought up and it has stuck with me.
I also agree with the need for thanking the person who made the meal - my dad NEVER does this and it shits me.
Then there's road etiquette: if someone lets you into the lane, you've got to give the wave.

and if someone cuts you of you gotta speed up and toot and then try your very hardest to overtake them again
or is that just me?

Etiquette to me involves simply behaving in a respectful manner. So good etiquette involves being respectful of others and schooling your behaviour towards that end.
I don't see the point of anally retentive point of etiquette such as only using certain pieces of cutlery for certain foods, but most other points of etiquette (or protocol would be more accurate in some cases) have a good reason behind them.
From what I can see it all comes down to good manners and respect though, and not taking things too far... Some people really object to being called 'Sir' or 'Madam', while others are offended if those titles aren't used...
I think that if someone does something with a respectful intent, if they believe they are showing good etiquette, then that is ok as far as I'm concerned... (unless its something really stupid like thinking that spitting on my shoe is good etiquette... )
dogah: No its not just you, its you and all the other wankers out there who feel the need to expose everyone else to their brainless macho attitudes... A little harsh? perhaps, but so is dying in a car accident... Yes its bad that someone cut you off, but if your behaviour exacerbates the situation then any undesired result is equally your fault... And if you were joking, a good point of internet etiquette is the use of smily faces...
babydoc_vic: Fully agreed on the wave

When someone offers you money (like a larger than normal sum), or some really great gift (I'm not talking birthdays and such though), you refuse politely (even if you actually really want/need it), or say something like "I can't take this...Are you sure??". Mind you, best to refuse outright only if you know them, and know that they will insist on actually giving it to you :D Otherwise use the "Are you sure?" line.
Sounds bloody pointless I guess, but I was brought up to really be hesitant with gifts and money, and to always be gracious.
Similarly, always refuse things like meals in restaurants if you can afford them yourself. Not with like your family, but with friends families or whatever.
Umm, I think you should always just go into someone else’s house with their rules, and not your own.
And finally I guess (dinner time ),
This will sound weird, but for guys: if you ever take a girl to something like a formal, or a formal event, you buy her flowers (even if you have no interest - doesn't have to be too romantic) and be complimentary and open doors and stuff - at least make a fucking effort. Way old fashioned probably, but I just remember seeing a friend invite a guy with her to a formal, and he didn't make any effort at all (was embarrassed to be with her I think) and I just felt so sorry for her Doesn't matter a damn if your not interested. You can be gracious and polite without being romantic.

Just a way of keeping the peasants in their place.

Mr.Happ-E: While I agree with the sentiment behind being hesitant about accepting gifts, I hate it when someone offers me something and doesn't truly intend to give it to me... If someone offers me something with the thought that I will refuse, then they don't really want to give it do they?
If they really can't afford to give the gift but do so anyway, then I'll refuse, but if there's no way for me to know whether or not they can afford to give the gift, then I'll accept...
Another thing that bothers me is when people refuse a gift (especially if the gift is money), when I'm perfectly capable of giving it... If I have some money to spare, and one of my friend's is in need, I'll be more than happy to give it to them and don't like it when they refuse simply because they feel uncomfortable with accepting money... I can understand that uncomfortablness, but there's no need for it...

It really annoys me people who are hesitant accepting gifts. Basically, if you dont want to give it, dont offer it. I find it offensive when someone refuses a gift. It's like my gift/money isnt good enough for them.
Same goes for compliments. I find this especially true with women. If I say to a girl, "you look really good today" the correct answer is "thankyou". Nothing more, nothing less. If you say "no, I look horrible" or something, then you are denigrating my opinion, and therefore, me.
I guess the moral to this story is, if you don't want to give it, then don't offer it. If you get offended because you offer me money, and I take it, then that's you're issue, not mine.

It always reminds me how wonderful and generous my friends are when i often find myself in the covorsation with one of them that goes something like this:
Friend: "I'll pay for the ...."
Me: "No, I'll pay for the ..."
Friend: "Don't be stupid it's just ..."
Me: "No seriously i'll pay, u pay next time"
Friend: "How about i pay this time, and u next time?"
Well you get the point anyway.
We always end up arguing over who is going to pay instead of who isnt.
I like to share my money when i have it and this is the reason that i am happy to accept gifts from my friends when i am in need, when i feel that i will be placed in a position to give to them when they are in need.
The most important thing to remember with friends and money is that friends come first.

I'm with you guys there, I agree that you should never offer a gift unless you're actually willing to part with it.
But sometimes it's hard not to be generous I think.
I still stand by what I said though. I think it probably all comes down to an issue of pride. Personally, I rarely (if ever) ask for anything, and generally have problems with taking gifts, especially money. I guess it's pride, though personally, for me I feel it's etiquette (well personal etiquette - the way I think I should react, not necessarily how others should).
If you don't accept it's probably because of pride, and if you find refusal offensive it's because of pride again.
Similarly if you refuse a compliment, it's maybe because you don't want to be seen to look proud.
Though I have to agree anfalicious, I get so irritated sometimes with people (male or female) who talk like that, or who put themselves down in that way. ESPECIALLY if they're doing it to fish for more compliments.
Though I personally wouldn't really say having your compliments refused is necessarily denigrating of your opinions, that seems a bit heavy, I think it's just stressing or highlighting under confidence in the refusee (yeah I know it’s not a word), or perhaps is an expression of their desire not to be seen to be big-headed
Anyway off topic a bit, sorry but I'll bring it back with some other ones:
*If you sleep in someone else's bed, you should make it after, and
*If you go to someone's house you shouldn't eat all their food (I have a mate who is TERRIBLE for that).
Oh and *You should always try and clear the table first.

hahaha
Ahh crap I gotta learn to type faster!!!
:/
But umm yeah...amen to that

The most important thing to remember with friends and money is that friends come first.

Click to expand...

chaff post...
'nuff said...

I agree with tarsy Etiquette involves behaving in a respectful manner .The difference between you and just another face in the crowd is how polite ,respectful and well mannered you are at all times.
I like to open my female passengers car door and close it for them when they are seated .Be it your friend, girlfriend even your mother . Sisters can open there own damn door .
If someone is speaking wait until they have finished before you start talking .And if someone is speaking to you 'listen' and not just wait for your turn to talk.
If you are talking about how good or how cool you are its always polite to add "im not giving myself tickets or anything" before you are finished.
When eating at someones place thank the host and compliment on how nice the meal was(even if it was road kill ) .Rinse your plate/cutlery and offer to help clean up.
(() (() (()

The only thing I have to add is this:
Don't forget that people have feelings.
Sounds pretty damn obvious but it's amazing how often it's neglected.

fill what's empty,
empty what's full.
and scratch where it itches.
and do it in private for fuck's sake. i hate ppl doing major relocations 'downstairs' when they're in public.