something that worried me

I recently observed something that worried me...
At adventjah on sunday night i chatted with a friend of a friend about the whole city ppl/ valley ppl thing that occurs in brisbane. I was saying about the fact that i live with city bums, and its kinda shit;
We chatted bout the whole gay hate thing that happens with 9/10 of city folk, and the fact that my best mate fits into this catterory, the fact that most of my city bum friends think (and tell me) that im gay...(my clothes and the fact that i go to the valley)
This does not worry me in the slightest, i am confident enough in my sexuallity that i am proud to go to the beat (and if ure wondering.... i have been upstairs(all u ppl that arent from brisneyland upstairs is the "gay" part of the club))
Anyway, after chatting to this guy for hours and running around being stupid... he told me he was gay...
and he looked scared....
this perplexed me. it didnt bother me, i said that to him and he had THE BIGGEST GRIN ive ever seen.... (im talking BIGGER than mine if i found 50 ohms from last year)
This amazed me... the fact that he was scared to tell me... i ended up giveing him a hug....
it shocked me that he was scared of a hetrosexual male, even though i had been speaking to him all night, complaing of my aggressive, homophobic, alcoholic friends
i was just wondering if anybody else out there has has any experiences like this? does this occur in any other city/town in aust?

Haven't encountered it in Sydney....

wow... I honestly haven't encountered this kind of thing since early high school. That's probably because a large proportion of my friends have been gay or bi-sexual.
I've found even in my parents generation, homosexuality has become very accepted. I really feel sorry that anyone would feel afraid to reveal their sexuality.
Has anyone noticed any rampant homophobia in melbourne of recent years?

This is something i (happily) haven't seen since becoming involved in the doof scene. I'd say this guy would be relatively new to this type of crowd and unsure how open to be. I know that after spending 15 years or so around homophobic fucks in small towns, old fears die hard.
I hope your natural friendliness helped to break down a bit more of this guy's protective barrier.

I've pretty much cut ties with all my homophobic ex-friends from high school, so this is something I also haven't experienced recently. I'll never forget the day I got in an arguement with a friends mother about whether homosexuality was evil or not. His mother for fucks sake! No wonder there's a lot of homophobes around still...
Oh, and it was in the city too...
[ 04 April 2002: Message edited by: Pleonastic ]

must be cause you went to a crap high school pleo and a crap school house
gay men have every reason to be afraid - as much as there is a liberal element in society which doesn't treat them as filth (I consider myself to be part of that element), there are plenty of people, organisations etc which do not consider them to be a legitmate group in society...that's the harsh truth (wooh..deja vu just then).
So many people lead a sheltered existence, they fear what they don't know or understand. Very sad.
I don't think it's a case of city / state / whatever. Narrowminded sheltered people are everywhere.
I have a friend who for 4 years didn't tell me he was gay until recently. I asked him "why tell me now?". He said that it didn't seem relevant. And I agree - it shouldn't and didn't have any impact on our friendship.

Haven't really seen any noticable anti-gay sentiment in the past few years myself but I must admit that a) I have quite a few gay and bi friends and b) tend to go to venue's when out that are gay friendly (I'm from Melbourne BTW). But even though I haven't seen it I bet you it still exists!

I think anyone who is scared by homosexuals are just hiding the fact that they have probably thought about it a few tmies.
I am confident in my sexuality and have no fears of being 'turned' into a homosexual.
If anyone is scared of gay men (or women) are just hiding the fact that they too are one and need to hide it from the world and try to supress those urges by beating or hating those that they wish they were.
And see it works the same for me. I can't beat up people for no reason, So i beat up gay haters instead.
But does that make me as bad as them?

Isn't it more these days that people aren't so much "scared" by gay people (and typically gay males...very general i know but its true no??) but more that people are grossed out by gay people.....
EXAMPLE
Two Tribes Sydney.... Cream Arena... (for get who's set but think it was PeeWee or Jumping Jack not sure... ANYWAY... dancing dancing dancing and then this guy about 40 years old, little over weight, no shirt on, beard and what not with a ring through each nipple starts dancing around us.... now at this point i was not "scarred" or anything, more completely grossed out by the tit rings... (im thinking "oww that woulda hurt") anyway for about 5 mins this guys is dancing near us..... and then decides to go back over to his friends..... 2 seconds later when i turned my head in the direction he went, i saw him start full on pashing with another guy of similar desciption (40 years old) ... now get this ... 2 sec after i saw that, i turned to look behind me and 3 other random people all look at me giving me the "OH MY FUCKING GOD I'M GOING TO PUKE" look.....(2 guys and one girl).. quite funny at the time ... i wasn't sure if iit really happened (but then figure it must of seeing as 3 other randoms saw it)
anyway.... so yeah.... its not just more of a gross out for hetrosexual people rather than being scared?? (seeing as people are a lot more aware about things like AIDS and the fact you can't get it from touching people and that not all gay people have it... all the bad stereotypes etc...)
[ 04 April 2002: Message edited by: The_Fuel ]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The Fuel, ... i find that seeing any couple full on pashing in public, is a gross out. I dont care if its a gay or straight couple.
While small public displays of affection can be seen as endearingly sweet, I really dont want/need to see a couple trying to swallow each others tongues.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Fair nuff....
In my case i don't get grossed out by a guy and girl pashing pretty much at all (unless she had her finger up his ass) where as seeing two guys pashing really wierds me out.... and two girls kissing acutally turns me on... ....
but its like that isn't it.... girls get grossed out by lezbians kissing.... and dont find guys kissing as bad.... and guys get grossed out by gay men kissing....but really find two girls getting it on quite amuzing/erotic... comments??

does anyone care if people are looking if they are pashing? I would suggest that it is an issue for you The_Fuel rather than an issue for the gay couple kissing. Who asked you to stare anyway?

I'm generally against anyone full on pashing in public, but then you get over it. Whether they're gay, hetrosexual or otherwise, as long as its consensual then who am i to judge. I'm more offended by someone smoking in public and having the air I intended to breath polluted. Funny how most people are offended moreso by the former and less so by the latter. Particularly when two other people kissing has no lasting affect on a third party, while second hand smoke has been shown to cause cancer. There are bigger issues to worry about than the sexuality of other people.
As for the nipple rings, well who'd want to be that ghey.... *cough* munch *cough*

Nezo - you missed my point(s) dude.... plus i wasn't staring... turned my head...saw it... turned it more.... saw other people who happened to see the same thing go "oh my god" ...

Everyone likes watching two girls pashing... it's a mystery of the ages, but it's true... :D
And if you say you don't then you're lying - male or female...

i saw 2 guys goin at it in darling harbour late one night, sound effects n all- in the kids playground area of all places.
defo not a pretty sight at all!

Only after finding out that a pretty good mate was a homosexual, did I realise how freely i'd use the term "fag" or "gay" in a derogatory fashion.
Since finding out I've really cut down on using these terms. When I do/did use them I never actually meant that being homosexual was a bad thing. Not like this is any excuse to use these terms though I think that mostly everybody grows up using shitty terms like "Gaylord" and not realising how wrong saying this kinda crap is.
I have no idea where i'm going with this so i'm jumping off now.

There still is an element of homophobia everywhere. I'd like to think i'm pretty gay-friendly and aware, from friends and personal experiences, but i still say "what are u mate, a poof?" as a joke when someone is "un-manly". Most people who use "fag", "poof", etc use it in a joking fashion i tend to find, they aren't putting down gays, just making fun of the stupid shit everyone used to say when they were 8 - eg "you gaylord!".
People are worried about the reaction they'll get.. do you know how hard it is to tell someone close to you that you like people of the same sex? There's a real good thread on this in "Sex, Love and Relationships" on this board atm.
Queensland is different to the other states for several reasons.
1. Our state is conservative as shit, lots of old fashioned elderly people and plenty of people who view euthanasia, abortion, homosexuality, etc as sins/against humanity. Also we've got too many footy lovin, beer swillin "real" men.
2. QLD's homosexual/bisexual population is tiny compared to Melbourne + Sydney. Compare an area like St Kilda or the Cross to anywhere in Brisbane, or worse the Gold Coast. We have gay people, but they are no where near as visibile or vocal as they are down south. Up here, gay people are sight unseen, you would never see two men kissing if you stuck to your normal routine, only ever find that in gay clubs, or gay-friendly cafe's and bars. In Sydney and Melbourne, gay men and women are kissing on public transport, holding hands in the city, visible in advertising, having mardi gras, etc.
3. Instead of people experimenting with their sexuality, they repress it, and feel the need to become a manly fag-basher. I don't know why but beating someone must make you tough, and stop you wanting a male bedroom companion.
I find it highly ironic how vocal the church is in our affairs up here, yet they are often the offenders of something a lot worse than consensual sex between adults.
my 2c

I don't think that in all - or even in most - cases homophobes are the way they are because they are repressed homosexuals. I think a lot of it has to do with social conditioning. This doesn't make it any better, but IMO pulling out arguements like that are akin to people from the U.S. saying all gripes with their country stem from jelousy.