Relationship Advice

I'm feeling a bit strange posting about this on here, but i know i can rely on you guys to help me out.
A bit of background info first:
A lot of you have read, or know, about my past relationships and how badly they have ended. I've been cheated on more than once by Ex G/fs, and this has lead to a certain amount of insecurity within me. Every time i give my love, it just ends up being kicked back in my face. Its for this reason that i find it very hard to trust females with anything other than friendship.
The thing is a certain girl has entered my life with whom i have started to get feelings for. I duno what it is about her, but she just caught my eye from the day we met. We get along very well (as far as i know) and have very similar interests, including music, rolling, etc etc, we even dance similar, hehehe
Its what to do next that has stumped me. I've never had the guts to approach a girl and tell them how i feel, until recently, and it backfired, so i'm hesitant to do that again. There is a mutual friend i could tell, but.....i duno..... Should i just wait and give it some time?? I know people will say "if its meant to happen it will", but then again, i sat around and waited a very long time before i got with my last g/f, wasted time you could say.
Any advice people?? Any similar stories??
I've just realised this is gonna stump a few of my friends that read this, hehehe, oh well.
DJC
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"We are the children of the revolution"

aaawwwwwww huneeeeeee.. you can tell me how you feel

If you don't ask her you'll never know. And if you get shot down, then at least you won't be left wondering what might have been. If you are both mature about the way it is done, then an answer either way shouldn't mean any compromise on the friendship. But don't do it if you think it will change the way she sees you. If you think you'll still be good friends after you've asked, then by all means ask. Good luck!!!

You only live once bro.... All the best.

yeh, i wouldnt agree with the "if its meant to happen it will" idea .. if its meant to happen, it might ! and the likelihood that it will is greatly increased if there is some communication happening.

Don't you just hate being in this situation? You just have no idea what the other person thinks...
The way I see it, if you know this person well enough, and you know how you feel about her, and you at least know that she likes you as a friend, then you should know how she will react if you ask her... I don't mean you know what she'll say, 'cos of course you don't, but you would hopefully know whether she would a) tell you that she was thinking the same thing and just waiting for you to make the first move, or b) tell you she likes you but just wants to be friends, or c) rip your clothes off and start going for it, or d) pull out her shotgun and blow your head off...
If it's a), then sweet, you get what you want, if its b), damn, but life goes on, if it's c), can I have her number? And if it's d), make sure someone tells me when and where the funeral is...
Similar stories? I've been in that same position a couple of times recently... First time I took the plunge and ended up with b), but from that I've developed a strong friendship, and I couldn't be happier... Second time I waited too long and missed my chance...
In the end it's your decision, but you have to decide whether you can live with the regret of not taking the chance, or take the risk and hope that you don't get fucked around again... All I can say there is that they're not all the same, and you will find someone one day, don't let her walk on past...
One last point... I agree with MS, some people say "If it's meant to happen it will..." but i've got a little addition to make... "If it's meant to happen it will... If you give it a little help..."

Firstly, thanx for replying so far everyone.
Secondly, Mona read all my posts in BL Singles for all my horror stories.
Thirdly, I don't think i know her that well to know how she'd react. Like i said this is a fairly new person in my life.
Should i give it some more time and see what i can find out?? Should i ask her friend what they think??
Damn its exciting to feel like this again though, after being in the dumps for soo long.
DJC
p.s. Tars, you have to fill me in again on whats been going on, Alli has been doing some, but i wanna talk to you. We have very similar stories to share.
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"We are the children of the revolution"

Hehehe.. sorry about that. I couldn' resist.
Well... having been in the same situation recently, I fully understand where you're coming from.. my word of advice >> DON'T GO TO THE FRIENDS! Go straight to the source, the info is much much purer, and you'll feel better for it rather than sitting there STILL going over the same questions in your head wondering if her friends really know what's up etc etc wassssuuuuup
Just don't rush things (unless you can really really tell she's thinking the same thing), that can be a big ass turn off.. suss her out a bit more. when you finally decide to do it, JUST DO IT. arfh! i SO didnt mean to corporate sloganise this reply but seriously... whats the worst than can happen? You'll remain friends and things wont be any different than they are now.. and she'll still be in your life! woohoo!

goodluck.

hmmm, im no guru with this shit...
and probably not one to give advice at all..
but i reckon any mature woman with any sort of emotional connection to you, if even only a friendship, should respect you for having the guts for an upfront face to face confession

go for it, practice makes perfect.
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something kind of sad about the way, things have come to be, desensitized to everything, what became of subtlety?
~Maynard James Keenan; Tool.
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just drop and enjoy

ok i'll try not to put u off DJC* but i've just had a similar thing... only i approached this chick and yeah, confession time... but she just wants to be friends, BUT! if i hadn't done it i might have spent the rest of my life wondering what might have happened... i still love her, and she's going to roll with me sometime (it'll be her first) so there's still hope for me... but my advice is to do it... because there's nothing more painful than spending the rest of your life wondering what might have happened and wishing you had...
best of luck bruva!!!! and yeah... she should respect you because you confessed... if she's mature that is...
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Does anyone really notice the stupid quotes people place here?
"mirror, mirror on the wall, who do we fear most of all... what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger" - Maxim

djc...the question you should ask yourself is:
"will I regret not asking her?"
no regrets..no regrets
Be honest and tell her how you feel - I think she'll appreciate the honesty.
Try it on e .. amazing the kind of shit you tell people when you're peaking...and if she doesn't go for it, blame the drugs

ask her now.. i just waited too long and missed my chance with the most perfect woman this weekend..but atleast were still good friends.. ask her now.. call her up and tell her you want to 'hit it' like all the OG pimps do

DJC* - I would say give this some more time, time can only make the way forward clearer. It will allow you to suss out how she's feeling and if it's all good then you will feel more confident and secure when you do tell her how you feel. Plus if she is a new person in your life don't you want to get to know her a bit better before you take it to the next level?
I would say take some time to enjoy all your new feelings - there is a lot to be said for letting things simmer for a while.........and if you sense that the feeling is mutual or you have a connection then my advice would be to just be honest with her, I wouldn't involve friends.
I'm sorry that you have been hurt in the past, but have some faith - there are still loyal and trustworthy females around, I promise!
Finally, I just wanted to share with you a line from The Dish - ummmm can't really remember it accurately but it was something along the lines of....'the only thing worse than failure is regret'... ..you get the picture right? Take a chance!
*Good Luck*
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STOMPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

ahem ..sorry to hijack your thread DJC, but I'm gonna use this one to announce my 3rd year anniversary with my g/f which is today!! We have almost nothing in common - especially music / drugs etc (she doesn't even like music !!) but it seems to work...
nezo.

wow. how can someone not like music??
ooops. sorry for no advice, but i'd just be repeating what those above me have said anyways.
HC

"You cant make someone love you, all u can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in"
Sorry just wanted to throw that quote in somewhere.
I say go for it, I was in the same situation not long ago, I didnt go for it....and another even better girl came along BUT that was just fuckn luck.
Better to know than to wonder incessantly.

nezo that news was worth hijacking my thread for. Congratulations!!!
I think i'll let things "simmer" for a bit and learn more about her, and see how things progress. Then maybe later on when i build up the guts i'll ask, but like nezo said, i'll probably be bulked chopped at the time, hehehe aways a good icebreaker.
DJC
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"We are the children of the revolution"

i think u shld go with giving it more time. do u really know her well enough yet?
its true that if shes mature, it could turn out well whether or not u get together... BUT there is the risk that u could put a strain on a friendship which could have been much stronger/no holds barred.
this is from a girl's point of view - sometimes a blatant confession may not be the right thing to do. subconsciously she could become more withdrawn, to avoid leading u on or giving any false hopes, even if she doesnt mean to put up a wall between u. call it a defense mechanism.
why not work on the friendship, without underlying motives of a potential relationship. get to know her objectively. and let her get to know u too. who knows, when the time is right, she might be the one to come up with a confession first.
good luck.

I wanna knowww DJC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You only live once.....the worst thing she can do is say she only wants to be friends.
Let us know how it goes!!!!!
Goodluck