The Adventures of Haste, MikeySammy & MunkE

Once upon a time - in a far away land, down in the deep urban jungle known as the Broady - there lived a man, known only as Haste. A simple man he was who didn't ask for much out of life - just for his friends to turn up - I mean is this too much too ask!!!
So in his impatient rage he was visited upon by an angel, an angel by the name of Sam Cougar. Immediatly he was awestruck by the angels majestic beauty - was this a dream - could there be such beauty in this god forsaken land. He approached with extreme caution for he had gone through a similiar experience before - a so-called angel by the name of Three Pipers - an imposter if he had ever seen one.
"Who is this that comes before me and dares interupt my slumber" Haste asked
"I have come to you, from a land of heavenly beauty, I have come to you to offer you a gift - a gift of happiness and drunkeness" replied Sammy (sheesshhh I'm too pissed so we are on first name basis now)
"A gift you say - I have nothing to loose for my friends have not turned up (slack bastards) - so I will partake of this heavenly gift"
At this point in time Sammy, quicker than the blink of an eye he produced his side kick Coca Cola (Coke to his friends) and they proceeded to perform and old and forgotten ritual. Haste was in total amazement watched how they, before his very eyes, in some psychedilic vision, became as one. Their vehicle of transport was known only as.......ummmmmmm glass (oh ok I can't think of a name), hang on...ummmm chalice hehhehe. Haste knew instictively to grasp the chalice - for it was begging him to partake of this gift that had been presented.
Does he partake of the gift.......? Does he wait for his friends to arrive? Or does he go and do the dish's and finish off the quilt he started many moons ago? What will this poor and simple man do?
Muuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeee.... miiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyy!!!!! he cried in desperation at the choices he has been left with. Damn those slack bastards - he grabs it firm like a man (the chalice you perverts) and partakes of the gift - it hits him like no other - his whole world is in a spin - so intense is the feeling that he falls in a heap in the corner.
What will become of him?
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"Well, me don't swim too tough so me don't go in the water too deep."-July, 1975 Bob Marley

THE LORDS PRAYER
Our Father who art in heaven,
Haste be thy name.
Friends did not come,
Drinking will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bourbon;
And forgive us our debts,
As we also have forgotten mikey and munke;
And lead us not into doing dishes,
But deliver us from housework.
AMEN!
Drink up Haste... Fuck Mikey And MunkE We're talking bourbon here!

and so, they two prophets arrive on hastes doorstep and ask of him, "our dear haste, we have come to you, we shall grace you with our heavenly presence, the MunkE and the Míkey have arrived and we shall show you the light - the path to true existence.. the real world, where sammy cougar, coca cola (coke to his friends) and our very own souls shall become one - we shall enter the void and be blessed, for our dear souls have becometh drunk as a fuckin skunketh.
We shall rely on the walls to keep us standing.. we shall take many and numerous photographs to documenteth this great chapter in our lives.. this holiest of nights where we shall stumble in the valley where bourbon and coketh run free..
So be thankful and worship the chalice of life - drink from this dear glass and - with the strength and support of the ground you stumble upon.. partake in dribbling our deareth crap..
we have entered the holyy land, we are truly, and without a slightest doubt.. drunketh as what you may term, the skunketh.
blessed by thy name of dear bourbon.
your taste is so sweet.
*kneels before the bottle and glass*
I thank thee, for you have graced me this evening. and i am fulfilled with the liquor of life.

*starting to sober up, after numerous glasses of water, having stopped drinking a few hours ago *
AH fuck getting sober, im getting another drink!
*15min later, drunketh As a fucking skunketh*
dahhh urgh hmm whaaa?
*points to mikey* ughh, what he said
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"its all fun and games until someone gets poked in the eye...but even then its still pretty funny" -That lesbian comedian woman on the abc

WE are the ones that moveth and shaketh this board...

Amen brother
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"its all fun and games until someone gets poked in the eye...but even then its still pretty funny" -That lesbian comedian woman on the abc

Whaaaaat the ........ ???? er, so how was last night hastey? hmmmm *thinking* guess i wont be getting any answers for a while *grin*
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~peace out~

And then there were three....
Moses, Mikey and MunkE.
Though Mikey and MunkE haven't yet done anything as impressive as talk to God through a burning tree or part the red sea. But to be fair they spoke to Haste through a burning hang-over and parted 3 years off their lives through too much alcohol comsumption. Keep up the good work guys

hehe
Eagleyes.....ROFLMAO... ...both posts
damn you MunkE..and u dare call me an alcoholic...
..the good lood did un bring joy tooo all mankind and apekind alike, through the prophet that be cougar...
A*fuckin*MEN
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"your a NUT ..youre crazy as a cOcOnut"
"what does that mean"
"THAT BOY NEEDS THERAPY"

dooodes, so very sorry i couldnt make it. Various activities of the messy variety had taken place the night before at teriyaki and later on at the crown casino, and left me in absolutely no state to be going out and getting drunk. I had KO'd by 7.30. Also my phone has gone AWOL, i tried to call munke, but noone answered. thanks for the message mikey!
next time bois....next time, and again...i am very sorry. how was rmit?
oh, and so this thread shows at least slight resemblance to the topic... glad to see you had fun haste!

My head hurts
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"Well, me don't swim too tough so me don't go in the water too deep."-July, 1975 Bob Marley

BahHh!!!!
AlCoholics!!!
*takes a swig at the fantastic single malt whiskey tat is placed before him*
-dRunk GoOse-

self inflicted hastey boy ... self inflicted hehehehehe, hmmm gonna need that walking stick tonight aincha ..... *cheeky grin*
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~peace out~

My head still hurts
How's work MunkE? bahahahhahahaha ...ouch that hurt
sunflower - I'm gonna get ya
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"Well, me don't swim too tough so me don't go in the water too deep."-July, 1975 Bob Marley

so were any photo's taken. Geez if there are any like the last lot then I want to see them. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Feeling a bit sick boys??????????????????????
Well I'm sure I could think up of a hangover solution, but I seriously doubt you would like it, and I seriously doubt that you would even drink it after you saw what was in it.
Oh well I guess nature has to run it's course.
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Happy Jack cause I'm a brat.
That's why I am a Happy Jack.

The scoreline now reads -
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Burbourn 2 - Visitors 0
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*insert cheezy baseball music here*

It has been some time since haste had his enlightening experience, his life turning into an insignificant blank - without purpose and direction. Again he sits, alone, waiting for his friends to turn up again - bastards are late again!!!!
It is during his time of loneliness that he visited by a dark angel - an angel by the name of Sambucca. It was Angel Sammy's deep and dark enemy of old days - in days of free spirit drinking. He started tempting haste, offering the sweet taste of evil and anaseed - haste in his desperation accepted the offering. His soul now corrupted and exposed - what would Angel Sammy think of sinful actions!
The story shall continue.......
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"I don't need no arms around me, I don't need no drugs to calm me. I have seen the writing on the wall, Don't think I need anything at all. No don't think I'll need anything at all. All in all it was all just bricks in the wall. All in all you were all just bricks in the wall" - Roger Waters 1979