xHippiexchildx
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2012
- Messages
- 670
I would have put the mg in the title, but I didn't have enough room. I'll do that here.
Ever since I came off of my suboxone a month ago, i've been having the worst trouble falling asleep. My doctor has been giving me lunesta through samples, because it's very expensive. I've been buying Xanax off the street because any doctor around my area already knows my situation, and will not give me anything addictive. I don't abuse the xanax though, I only take it as needed, mostly to help me sleep at night.
This happened last night, so in all, here is what I took. Xanax 2mg, Lunesta 3mg, Benadryl 50mg, Melatonin 5mg, Vistaril 50mg. I've done this combination before, except I added Ambien into the mix. It worked out quite well. I seen my dead ex girlfriend again. She hugged me, I even smelled her hair. I told her how much I had changed because of her. She has been dead since 2006. She is mainly the reason I started to get help for my addiction to opiates. Before she died, I promised her I would quit using, but I really didn't mean it. It was only after she broke up with me, and died shortly after, that I actually started thinking about it. But it was much much too late to change things.. The human mind is very powerful to remember stuff like that. But when I woke up, I didn't even realize I was dreaming to begin with, which sent me into a major depression. I almost lost it.
Before you say I have a death wish, I just want to sleep like a normal person. Me going without sleep is torture. If the CIA was to ever use this torture technique on me, I would break the first night.
So onto the experience, normally on a good night, I start to go to bed around 10-11. Last night it was a little after 10:30 when I first took the lunesta. I started to read the 2nd book in the wheel of time series. Didn't notice any sort of drowsiness after about 10 minutes, So I took 50mg of vistaril. After about 10 more minutes, I start to lay down to go to sleep. I'm feeling very calm now. But my mind is not wanting to shut down for some reason? My body is at ease, but I still have a billion thoughts going through my head. Normally when I take Lunesta, it works very fast. I get that metallic taste in my mouth that's absolutely horrible. About 5 minutes of laying down trying to go to sleep, I have little success. My idea of going to sleep is to pop as many pills as possible to reach that state. So what did I do? I took some melatonin. I have been taking the melatonin for a long time now. But I figured the more sedatives, the better. Laid back down for about 10 minutes, still not drowsy. So I went and found some benadryl that we keep around the house. Actually it's called Sleepinal. I took one of those, and went back to reading my book. After about 10 minutes, I start to feel kind of zoned out, like a zombie. Finally, I thought, I can go to sleep! I laid back down again. Twisted and turned for about 10 minutes. "Holy Fuck!" I thought. I totally forgot I had some xanax left over. I went to where I keep my stash, and got two blue footballs out. I took them both. Don't ask why, but I was already feeling pretty out of it. In the next 10 minutes, I was out before I knew what hit me. Like it hit so fast like an instant death would. This is where the craziest dreams start..
I woke up in my bed, or at least I thought I did, I proceeded to get up and go to the kitchen and get a glass of milk. When I open the fridge, it's completely empty? I'm like, "WTF?! We just bought groceries yesterday." Then I wake up in my bed again.. and each time this happens, I think i'm actually awake. I'm not even aware that i'm dreaming, not yet. This repeats about a total of 6 times. The last time I wake up from another dream, a friend I haven't seen since middle school is standing in front of me. And he has these wings, like the Angels in heaven would have? He asks me if I wanted to learn how to fly. I said, sure. He then proceeds to walk out of my door, and flies off in super speed, and then completely just disappears. At this point, I realize i'm dreaming. I had read about it somewhere that if you know how, you can control your dreams. I was quite aware about this during my dream. My current objective this time was to have a set of angel wings like my friend. I probably woke up in another dream about another 5 times before I finally figured out how to get the wings. Do not ask.. I think it was luck that I actually did this. So here comes the hard part, how do I use them? I proceeded to go outside, walk off my porch and fly. This was extremely difficult. I tried many weird techniques that would work at first, then I would actually start falling back down to the earth because my wings would just stop flapping. I have no clue how many failed attempts I had. But I finally figured out how to do it. If I held my legs up to my chest, I could control them. So I started to fly. It felt soooo real. I could feel the wind resistance going against my body as I fly upwards. I flew sooo high. I could see my town. I could see pretty much anything in a 3 mile radius. The only weird part was I couldn't see anyone else. This was weird, and had me about to panic. Normally when I dream, I see many many other people, some I know, some I don't. Eventually I flew so high up that I was eventually above the clouds. This was the greatest experience I've ever felt. The whole time while i'm flying my adrenaline is pumping so hard. Then out of nowhere the worst of the worst happens.. I lose control of my wings. I then start a million miles per hour nose dive back towards earth. I was completely terrified at this point. I knew if I hit the ground, it might kill me.. let me elaborate more on this. I've dreamed this combination before. It's just as real as me typing this report. If you shake somebodies hand, it actually feels like you really just shook their hand. If someone punches you in the face, you actually feel the pain! Your five sense are completely at work during these dreams, your rational thinking is too. So somehow, I managed to wake myself up before I hit rock bottom. My heart has never beat so fast in my entire life. I felt my chest, and my heart was literally about to leave my chest and go run a marathon. I was sweating something awful. It was only about 6am when I woke up.. I thought about this dream for a few, and about what it meant. I was still so tired though, I ended up falling back to sleep.. going to dreamland once again.
I had wayyy more crazy dreams before I woke up today at 11am, but nothing like that first one. Dreams have the potential to beat psychedelics in my opinion. There are no drugs on this earth that can make you fly. But in dreamland.. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! Use your imagination.. the trick to controlling your dreams involves taking something like Melatonin, and then realize you are dreaming when it happens. Maybe if your thing is having sex with some movie star you're obsessed with, it's very possible on this combination i'm sure.. Maybe i'll try that next time. I think it was actually the xanax that brought out these amazing lifelike dreams.. but i'll never know.
Anyways, thanks for reading my report. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I mean, being completely asleep but at the same time being completely aware that you are dreaming? Then being able to control said dreams? I think this topic needs to be studied more..
Ever since I came off of my suboxone a month ago, i've been having the worst trouble falling asleep. My doctor has been giving me lunesta through samples, because it's very expensive. I've been buying Xanax off the street because any doctor around my area already knows my situation, and will not give me anything addictive. I don't abuse the xanax though, I only take it as needed, mostly to help me sleep at night.
This happened last night, so in all, here is what I took. Xanax 2mg, Lunesta 3mg, Benadryl 50mg, Melatonin 5mg, Vistaril 50mg. I've done this combination before, except I added Ambien into the mix. It worked out quite well. I seen my dead ex girlfriend again. She hugged me, I even smelled her hair. I told her how much I had changed because of her. She has been dead since 2006. She is mainly the reason I started to get help for my addiction to opiates. Before she died, I promised her I would quit using, but I really didn't mean it. It was only after she broke up with me, and died shortly after, that I actually started thinking about it. But it was much much too late to change things.. The human mind is very powerful to remember stuff like that. But when I woke up, I didn't even realize I was dreaming to begin with, which sent me into a major depression. I almost lost it.
Before you say I have a death wish, I just want to sleep like a normal person. Me going without sleep is torture. If the CIA was to ever use this torture technique on me, I would break the first night.
So onto the experience, normally on a good night, I start to go to bed around 10-11. Last night it was a little after 10:30 when I first took the lunesta. I started to read the 2nd book in the wheel of time series. Didn't notice any sort of drowsiness after about 10 minutes, So I took 50mg of vistaril. After about 10 more minutes, I start to lay down to go to sleep. I'm feeling very calm now. But my mind is not wanting to shut down for some reason? My body is at ease, but I still have a billion thoughts going through my head. Normally when I take Lunesta, it works very fast. I get that metallic taste in my mouth that's absolutely horrible. About 5 minutes of laying down trying to go to sleep, I have little success. My idea of going to sleep is to pop as many pills as possible to reach that state. So what did I do? I took some melatonin. I have been taking the melatonin for a long time now. But I figured the more sedatives, the better. Laid back down for about 10 minutes, still not drowsy. So I went and found some benadryl that we keep around the house. Actually it's called Sleepinal. I took one of those, and went back to reading my book. After about 10 minutes, I start to feel kind of zoned out, like a zombie. Finally, I thought, I can go to sleep! I laid back down again. Twisted and turned for about 10 minutes. "Holy Fuck!" I thought. I totally forgot I had some xanax left over. I went to where I keep my stash, and got two blue footballs out. I took them both. Don't ask why, but I was already feeling pretty out of it. In the next 10 minutes, I was out before I knew what hit me. Like it hit so fast like an instant death would. This is where the craziest dreams start..
I woke up in my bed, or at least I thought I did, I proceeded to get up and go to the kitchen and get a glass of milk. When I open the fridge, it's completely empty? I'm like, "WTF?! We just bought groceries yesterday." Then I wake up in my bed again.. and each time this happens, I think i'm actually awake. I'm not even aware that i'm dreaming, not yet. This repeats about a total of 6 times. The last time I wake up from another dream, a friend I haven't seen since middle school is standing in front of me. And he has these wings, like the Angels in heaven would have? He asks me if I wanted to learn how to fly. I said, sure. He then proceeds to walk out of my door, and flies off in super speed, and then completely just disappears. At this point, I realize i'm dreaming. I had read about it somewhere that if you know how, you can control your dreams. I was quite aware about this during my dream. My current objective this time was to have a set of angel wings like my friend. I probably woke up in another dream about another 5 times before I finally figured out how to get the wings. Do not ask.. I think it was luck that I actually did this. So here comes the hard part, how do I use them? I proceeded to go outside, walk off my porch and fly. This was extremely difficult. I tried many weird techniques that would work at first, then I would actually start falling back down to the earth because my wings would just stop flapping. I have no clue how many failed attempts I had. But I finally figured out how to do it. If I held my legs up to my chest, I could control them. So I started to fly. It felt soooo real. I could feel the wind resistance going against my body as I fly upwards. I flew sooo high. I could see my town. I could see pretty much anything in a 3 mile radius. The only weird part was I couldn't see anyone else. This was weird, and had me about to panic. Normally when I dream, I see many many other people, some I know, some I don't. Eventually I flew so high up that I was eventually above the clouds. This was the greatest experience I've ever felt. The whole time while i'm flying my adrenaline is pumping so hard. Then out of nowhere the worst of the worst happens.. I lose control of my wings. I then start a million miles per hour nose dive back towards earth. I was completely terrified at this point. I knew if I hit the ground, it might kill me.. let me elaborate more on this. I've dreamed this combination before. It's just as real as me typing this report. If you shake somebodies hand, it actually feels like you really just shook their hand. If someone punches you in the face, you actually feel the pain! Your five sense are completely at work during these dreams, your rational thinking is too. So somehow, I managed to wake myself up before I hit rock bottom. My heart has never beat so fast in my entire life. I felt my chest, and my heart was literally about to leave my chest and go run a marathon. I was sweating something awful. It was only about 6am when I woke up.. I thought about this dream for a few, and about what it meant. I was still so tired though, I ended up falling back to sleep.. going to dreamland once again.
I had wayyy more crazy dreams before I woke up today at 11am, but nothing like that first one. Dreams have the potential to beat psychedelics in my opinion. There are no drugs on this earth that can make you fly. But in dreamland.. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! Use your imagination.. the trick to controlling your dreams involves taking something like Melatonin, and then realize you are dreaming when it happens. Maybe if your thing is having sex with some movie star you're obsessed with, it's very possible on this combination i'm sure.. Maybe i'll try that next time. I think it was actually the xanax that brought out these amazing lifelike dreams.. but i'll never know.
Anyways, thanks for reading my report. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I mean, being completely asleep but at the same time being completely aware that you are dreaming? Then being able to control said dreams? I think this topic needs to be studied more..
